Angel of war
by MagentaMasen
Summary: Bella Swan is training to be a nurse in World war 2. She meets Lance Corporal Edward Cullen and loses him in the same night. Believing she will never see Edward again she carries on with her life with out him.
1. Chapter 1

_**This is my first story, so please be nice! I would really like to hear what you guys think and any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. **_

_**Twilight and it's characters belong to Stephenie Meyer not me!**_

_**Thanks for reading.**_

I have always been a compassionate person so when the war broke out in September 1939, it seemed only natural that I enrolled for nurse training with the British army. If my friends ever had a problem I was always the one they turned to first and over the years I had taken in several stray and injured animals and with the help of my father nursed them back to health.

I had moved to the heart of England with my mother and father in 1921 I when I was a year old, being so young I had no recollection of my previous life in Seattle. We settled in the heart of the English country-side on the outskirts of a town called Shrewsbury. Although it was a very quiet life here I enjoyed it very much. We lived in a beautiful old black and white timber framed house, surrounded by beautiful gardens, full of colourful flowers and Victorian box hedging around a little pond. My father had made the pond for my mother for her birthday, I remember it as if it was yesterday, and she was so pleased. The garden's beauty was carefully maintained by my mother, her garden was her passion.

My neighbour Angela and I were the best of friends; it had been that way since the first day of school. We attended an all girls school nearby and we were inseparable, there was nothing we didn't know about each other. While other girl's friendships waxed and waned ours stood strong, she was like this sister I never had.

When war broke out in the summer of 1939, we were both 19 and utterly devastated at the news that a few of the boys from our village would be going to fight in France. The boys in question thought it absolutely marvellous and were eager to go and show how brave they all were. All I could think of was the possibility of them being harmed and the thought churned by stomach.

I knew I could not stop the boys from going away, they were fighting for king and country, but I felt I had to do something so I decided to become a nurse and help out our boys. I told Angela my plans and she decided to do the same, like I said we were inseparable.

A month later we travelled to Birmingham together to start our training course. We stayed here for 2 months before being relocated to train in a London hospital. The hospital was in Whitechapel, it was a grand old brick building. At first I found London frightful, so big and busy, so different to what I had been used to at home. Before long Angela and me soon found our feet and began to enjoy our new life in the city. The work was hard and the days were long, we learnt to deal with anaesthesia, we learnt sanitation skills, oxygen therapy and how do defend ourselves and the patients in case of attack. At the end of each day we spent training we were thoroughly drained of energy. On the weekends we liked to relax and let our hair down, we were often invited to parties and social gatherings by some of the doctors and soldiers; it was at one of the parties I attended I met _him_.

**So what did you think of chapter 1??? Hit review and let me know! If readers think it's worth me carrying on I'll aim to update around once a week.**


	2. Chapter 2

_**This is my first story, so please be nice! I would really like to hear what you guys think and any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated.**_

_**Twilight and it's characters belong to Stephenie Meyer not me! Although i really wish that Edward belonged to me!!**_

_**I have done a fair bit of research to do my best to make this story accurate.**_

_**Thanks for reading.**_

**Bella**

One Thursday I was busy helping change a soldiers dressings, poor lad had a lot of shrapnel damage to his right thigh but the surgeon was very skilled and managed to save his leg. Matron asked me to dispose of the soiled bandages while she made the young man comfortable in his bed. It was then that I bumped into Private Jasper Whitlock, quite literally bumped into him. I apologised profusely to him but he didn't seem to mind my clumsiness, he had become quite accustomed to it while visiting the lad who the bandages belonged to. Over the few short weeks he had been visiting I had grown to appreciate his company and learnt that he was a machine gunner in the army. He was a charming and polite young man in his early twenties, he had short mousey blonde hair and a smile I found quite intoxicating. Whilst at the hospital he would spend a lot of his time teasing me and I in turn would return the jest. In fact we spent a lot of time laughing and a little time talking about more serious issues such as the progress of the war and the health of his friend. It came as no shock to me when he informed me of a dance taking place at the weekend, however I was shocked when he asked if I would accompany him, I blushed but hastily agreed, maybe I was a trifle too hasty but if I was he didn't seem troubled by it. He gave me a big smile and told me he would meet me outside the nurse's accommodation at 6.30pm Saturday night. I worked the rest of my shift sporting a big grin which didn't go unnoticed by the patients or the other nurses, but I said nothing Angela would be the first to hear about this exciting news.

After my shift had finished Angela and I took the short stroll back to our rooms in the nurse's accommodation next to the hospital. Our rooms were across the hall from each other and were nothing special, but were quite spacious which I was appreciative of. We each had a bed, a wardrobe and a dressing table in our rooms. I had a few family photos on my dressing table and some text books for my training as well as a my jewellery box. Angela always had fresh flowers in her room, ones she had bought herself or ones from an admirer. With her long dark hair, her beautiful blue eyes and full lips Angela was never short of admirers. We spent a great deal of time together in each other's rooms. I told Angela of Private Whitlock's invitation and she agreed he was a very charming man; it came as no surprise to me that that Angela would also be accompanying a soldier to the dance on Saturday. However I was pleasantly surprised to hear he was a good friend of Private Whitlock's and he too was a machine gunner. In fact we were both delighted at the prospect of a familiar face being there.

Saturday promptly arrived, and to say we were excitable was an understatement. Angela and I had spent the day being jolly and bouncing around rooms discussing outfits and dances. When Private Whitlock had first asked me to join him I had been very nervous of the idea but that feeling had dissipated into a feeling of passionate enthusiasm. Our nurse's pay didn't stretch far once we had paid our board and for our text books so we couldn't afford the luxury of new dresses but we each had nice ones in our wardrobes from when we lived at home.

I chose a dress which had been a birthday gift last year. It was red, which coincidently is my favourite colour, with white polka dots. It was knee length with sleeves that finished just above the elbows and fitted around the waist to show off my figure, it was beautiful if I do say so myself. I finished the outfit with a pair of black heels, a pearl necklace with matching earrings and a pair of black gloves. Angela who had been getting dressed next to me had chosen a similar style dress but it was navy blue with cream flowers printed on it she had also gone for black heels and white gloves. As soon as we had fixed our hair and make-up we went off to meet our dance partners. It was only on the way to meet Private Whitlock that Angela told me she would be accompanying Private Ben Cheney and as he knew Private Whitlock we would be travelling to the dance together.

As we approached the gate outside the accommodation block we could see the two men waiting for us. They were wearing their khaki uniforms looking very smart, I could never fathom why soldiers always wore their uniforms, I could never wait to get out of mine and I would not, under any circumstances, want to wear it for social purposes. In fact wearing our uniform was strictly prohibited outside of the hospital and accommodation area. However as difficult as it was to understand the reason behind it, I could not deny how devilishly handsome they looked. After greeting us with a hello and a kiss on each cheek, Private Cheney informed us it was a 10 min drive to the dance hall. The men helped us in to the black cab and we set of for the dance.

**OK so i updated sooner than the weekly updates i promised, but surely thats a good thing right??? Let me know by reviewing Magenta xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

_**This is my first story, so please be nice! I would really like to hear what you guys think and any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated.**_

_**Twilight and it's characters belong to Stephenie Meyer not me!**_

_**Thanks for all the reviews you guys are great! **_

_**Thanks to my wonderful beta acacia6583, you rock!! You guys should check out her story too,**_.net/s/5733925/1/Brand_New_Eyes

**Bella**.

When we arrived at the dance hall, the party was in full swing, with about 20 couples on the floor dancing to the band. The hall was a large square room with a long dark wooden bar covering most of the right hand side, a few men in uniform were sat on bar stools propping up the bar and watching the dancers. The stage, where the band was playing swing music, covered the far wall. Directly in front of them was the wooden dance floor and in front of that were tables and chairs for guests to sit and relax at. The room was sparsely decorated with bunting of all different colours, although rationing wasn't being introduced until next year material and money was tight. Angela laughed causing me to avert my gaze from Private Whitlock and look in her direction. It was only now that I got a good look at Private Cheney, he was tall and slim with dark hair and dashing good looks, it was easy to see why Angela was so smitten with him.

We sat down at the table nearest the bar and Privates Whitlock and Cheney, sorry Jasper and Ben (they told us that calling them Private outside of the hospital was unnecessarily formal) went to get some drinks. The evening was going splendidly well, we had all drank, laughed and danced and we were all in high spirits, but around 10pm Jasper began to feel unwell and said he had to leave. He was terribly worried about leaving me alone, I assured him not to worry about me I would stay for a while and return home later with Angela. Jasper seemed unhappy to leave but he really did look dreadful. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and once again apologised and asked if he could see me again soon, I agreed with a blush which caused him to smile and then he left.

Angela and Ben were slow dancing to a song on the dance floor; they looked very happy together, Ben would occasionally Kiss Angela on the cheek and appeared to be whispering in her ear, I was positive I would get all the details later. I decided to get a drink, I felt quite dismal as I leant against the bar awaiting service. I really liked Jasper he was a kind man with a genial manner, a real gentleman, but now I was on my own. I tried to put on a brave face, which I thought I was doing well but obviously not, as a tall man approached me from the other end of the bar and asked if I was ok. I never was any good at acting. I recognised him from earlier on in the evening; he had been one of the men sitting up against the bar. As I looked up at the man his handsomeness took my breath away, he was about 6ft 1 which short copper coloured hair, vivid green eyes with a strong jaw line and a smile that made my soul melt. I was taken completely off guard and it took me a few seconds to compose myself to answer that I was fine just a little worried about Jasper. The man introduced himself as Edward and told me he was new to the army, I in turn introduced myself as Bella. Edward bought my drink and gestured with his hand for me to take a seat at the nearest table; I nodded in agreement and followed him over. As I followed him I couldn't help but notice how flattering his uniform was and the way the colour suited his complexion, as he pulled out a chair for me I could clearly see his well toned biceps and thighs through is his clothes. The thought caused me to blush but Edward didn't seem to notice.

I had always suffered from issues with my self confidence, which made me nervous and awkward around new people, but with Edward I felt absolutely at ease and I'm ashamed to admit I soon forgot about Jasper. I spent the rest of the evening animatedly chatting with Edward we talked about my family, his family, our likes and dislikes, he made jokes and I laughed. In a short space of time this 23 year old man from Enfield had completely and utterly bewitched me. His crooked smile was truly exhilarating and I craved to make him smile. I gazed into his amazing emerald eyes when he spoke, noticing no one else in the room but him. I was completely enamoured by him. I was bought out of my Edward induced trance by Angela grabbing my arm and telling me it was time to leave. I really did not want to go but I had no choice so I said my goodbyes to Edward and told him sincerely it had been a pleasure to have had his company this evening. He kissed both my hands before walking me to the black cab. With a sudden boost of confidence I plucked up the courage to ask him whether I would see him around, the question sped out of my mouth rather quickly but he seemed to understand it. However I was not quite ready for his reply

"Unfortunately I'm being drafted to France in two days, so I doubt you will see me again, which is a great shame Bella as I have really enjoyed spending time with you, it has been more than pleasant" he leant across and kissed me softly on the cheek. He looked at me with a sad smile.

It's frightfully silly of me I know, but I had to fight very hard at this moment to keep back the tears brimming in my eyes, I smiled a small forced smile at him before getting into the cab and leaving him behind.

When we returned home Angela had given Ben a passionate kiss goodbye and arranged to go and see a film later in the week. On the way back to our rooms Angela told me all about how fabulous Ben was and her plans to marry him live in a house in the country-side and have several little children. I laughed a little, it was typical of Angela to get carried away with her hopes and dreams but I genuinely hoped things would work out for her, she truly deserved it. Angela invited me into her room to have a glass of water before bed, and of course to question me on my evening. I told her about how sweet Jasper was and how upset I _**had**_ been when he left. Then she turned to face me and gave me her "and tell me the rest of the story Bella" look, which she was now an expert in. I gave in too quickly and told her everything about Edward, how stupid I felt that I had spent a few hours with him yet felt totally infatuated with him, how stunningly handsome he was, what a beautiful shade of emerald his eyes were, how my insides felt all fuzzy when he touched me and finally how he was going to France in a few days and I would never see him again. At this point she reached over and gently wiped a tear from my face and pulled me into an embrace.

On that melancholy note I left Angela and got into my own bed. To my surprise I drifted off to sleep quickly and effortlessly. It was the first night I dreamt of Edward. The dreams were happy dreams, Edward and I in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers holding hands and laughing, dancing together and Edward taking me to meet his family, stood at the church altar together, but the dreams all ended the same way, Edward leaving me, leaving me all alone.

When I woke in the morning I felt thoroughly disheartened, I took a quick bath and settled at my dressing table to study. Although my text book was open in front of me, I found myself just staring at the pages, the words meaning nothing. My mind was preoccupied with Edward, being with Edward, but how was that ever going to happen? I didn't even know his surname for heaven's sake let alone what battalion he was in or where he was stationed. The only 3 things I was certain of were his name was Edward, he grew up in Enfield and that I had developed very strong feelings for him. I soon decided studying was futile; I grabbed my thick black coat and headed out for a walk. It was a cold November morning, I savoured the freshness of the air and appreciated the way it cleared my head. I had just reached the boundary of the hospital grounds when I heard someone calling my name. I turned to see Jasper come running towards me, wearing his uniform again. He did look very dashing in it but did he not own any other clothes? He explained that he was coming to the hospital to see me and check I returned home ok last night. He really did look quite concerned and with a sheepish grin asked me if he could join me on my walk to make up for last night. With a smile and a nod I agreed and Private Whitlock held out his arm for me to take and off we set. We walked around Whitechapel stopping to look in shop windows before settling in a quaint little tea room.

Jasper told me he had decided to join the army as soon as soon as he was 18, 2 years before the war broke out, he explained how his older brother Emmett had joined the RAF earlier the same year. Jasper said a pilot's life was not for him he wanted to be a brave soldier fighting on the ground for his country. Before he joined up he had also lived in Shropshire, in a village called Minsterley about 15 miles from my own home. He had completed his training with the Kings Shropshire Light Infantry regiment and spent a little time in Belgium when the war first started but then his battalion returned to England to do territorial duties and prepare for the impending invasion of British soil. We spent the entire afternoon in the tea rooms and before long the city skyline was getting dark. Jasper helped me put on my coat and declared he would be walking me home.

It was ever so cold outside so instead of walking arm in arm Jasper put his arm around my waist, and I must confess I rather liked the feel of it there. When we reached the hospital gates Jasper confessed he had had a wonderful day and wished to spend a lot more time together. He continued with his confessions and with a shy smile told me he had strong feelings for me and had felt this way since the day we first met. I bit my bottom lip, stifling a gasp and my thoughts immediately strayed to Edward, but I knew that was pointless Edward was gone and Jasper was here charming, polite and beautiful. I smiled at Jasper and told him that I would like to spend more time together too, with this Jasper stepped closer to me and tucked a strand of my long wavy brown hair behind my ear and asked if it was ok to kiss me. I nodded and he placed a gentle kiss on my lips and told me he would see me tomorrow at the hospital. I could not stop myself from grinning on the way back to my room.

**Authors note,**

**Oh yes, Edward has made an appearance! **

**FYI the Kings Shropshire Light Infantry or K.S.L.I was a real regiment. They spent some time in Belgium when ww2 first started, before returning to the south of England to prepare for a German invasion. Now you can all say you learnt something from a fan fic!!**

**Let me know what you guys think! Magenta xxxx**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Thank you so much for your reviews! I love each and every one of them, they make me smile and want to write more!!**_

_**Once again I'd like to say thanx to my wonderful beta for persuading me to publish this and for reading my constant emails! acacia6583 I love ya!**_

_**Ok so Edward has gone but the more reviews I get the sooner he will come back!**_

_**Twilight and it's characters belong to Stephenie Meyer not me! But I really enjoy playing with them!**_

Bella 

Over the next few months I became very close to Jasper and I positively thrived on his company. Angela had been so thrilled the night I had returned home and told her of Jaspers confession and kiss by the hospital gates. I remember her sat on my bed making an odd squealing sound and bouncing up and down like she was desperate to visit the toilet. I myself felt elated and blessed to have met such a nice young man who was obviously taken with me, but still when I turned out my light to go to bed that night my thoughts drifted to Edward. I had very strong affections for Jasper and truly enjoyed his company but I could not deny that I seemed to have a fondness for a man I hardly knew. I pushed the thoughts to the back of my head and promised myself not to waste any more time on silly childish fantasies, before drifting off to sleep.

Jasper continued to visit his friend in the hospital until the young man was transferred to a hospital designed for rehabilitation. He would often steal a kiss from me in the corridor when no one was looking and I would always playfully push his hands away from my waist and tell him he was being improper and could cost me my job, he usually replied with something about him not being able to resist the charm of my uniform. After his visits ceased work became mundane and often depressing. But I suppose it made the times when we saw each other all the more special. When we had time together we would go for romantic walks, go and see a film and have dinners together, he was always so proud to introduce me to his friends. Once a week we would join Angela and Ben and we would go to a dance together. Angela and Ben's relationship was so strong and getting stronger by the day, they were almost inseparable. When the spring months of 1940 arrived Jasper would often take me for a surprise picnic in the most scenic of places, he always made me feel so special and beautiful with his complements and gifts I soon forgot all about Edward.

By June rationing was in full force but the boys somehow managed to get a marvellous amount of food together for a picnic in the park. Jasper had even managed to secure a small amount of mature cheddar cheese for me, he knew it was my favourite and the rationed amount was pitiful. It was a glorious afternoon when we arrived at the park and it was very busy, busy even for a Saturday. Children were out playing to together, young couples adorned the wooden benches that edged the stone pathway and an old man was walking his little white dog while enjoying the sunshine. The boys had secured us a lovely little secluded spot away from everyone else and gestured for us to sit down on the blanket they had laid out. We ate together and conversed about the events of the last few days and I revelled in the friendly banter. It was a joyous occasion made even better when Jasper unpacked a small amount for chocolate from the picnic hamper and handed it to me, I thanked him with a smile and a kiss and he blushed at the public display of affection. I loved it when he blushed; it made him look so young and innocent. Ben had also outdone himself and uncovered a scone with strawberry jam and a dash of cream for Angela, knowing scones were her absolute favourite thing. Angela squealed and thanked Ben over and over again. She ate her scone in a dainty manner not wanting to waste a crumb. It was when Angela had finished her scone and Ben leant forward to wipe a little cream from Angela's mouth with his thumb, that he produced a little black box. He opened the little box and showed Angela the gold ring with a small diamond that was busy reflecting the rays of the sun. Jasper and I had been lay on the grass I had my head resting on his chest while he had his arm around me, It was only when I heard Ben explaining that it had been his grandmothers, that I sat up and cupped both of my hands to my mouth to prevent any sound from escaping and ruining the moment. Ben shifted position so he was on one knee and said

"Angela Webber I adore you, you have given my life meaning and purpose. Even the idea of being without you tears apart my soul. Will you do me the great honour of becoming my wife???"

Angela said yes and accepted with no hesitation, after Ben put the ring on her finger she pulled him into an embrace. I sat grinning like the Cheshire cat from Alice in wonderland while Jasper wiped the tears of happiness away from my brown eyes and my face. It was a sweet gesture that warmed my heart. It was an incredibly intimate moment between the couple that I felt proud to have witnessed. As I congratulated Ben and Angela I noticed Angela also had tears of happiness running down her face, in fact she was sobbing with joy. We shared a long affectionate hug while Jasper shook Ben's hand and they patted each other on the back. I felt truly elated for Angela all she had wanted since we were little was to find her soul mate and marry him in a beautiful church wedding. We stayed in the park for another hour or so before packing up and making our way home. Angela and Ben walked in front of me and Jasper, she was holding Ben's hand tightly and frequently looking at the ring that now decorated her ring finger. Every time she looked Ben would look over to her and smile, he looked absolutely delighted. The boys walked us to the gates outside the hospital where we parted with kisses and promises to meet soon.

Angela asked me to spend some time in her room with her where she gushed about Ben and how she would have a big white wedding in the church in our village. It would be a summer wedding with a garden party afterwards. She wanted a bouquet of red roses and to invite all her family and friends, she confessed she was nervous about meeting Ben's family in case they didn't like her. I offered her complete reassurance as truthfully there was nothing to not like about Angela. She went back to the wedding plans and I was delighted to accept her invitation to be her bridesmaid and I was told I would be wearing a pretty red dress to match her bouquet. I laughed a little at her enthusiasm then I gently reminded Angela that there was a war on and money and materials were restricted. Angela quickly brushed off the comment informing me that the war would be over in a few months leaving her plenty of time to save and plan the perfect wedding for next summer. I congratulated Angela once again and thanked her for making me bridesmaid before retiring to my room. I was exhausted from the day's events and barely managed to unpin my long brown hair before sinking into my bed and falling asleep.

I slept soundly and enjoyed the pleasant dreams bestowed upon me from Queen Mab. The dreams were of a wedding, it was Angela's. It was a joyous occasion the church was filled with familiar faces from home. Angela's beauty was astounding as she stood in front of the vicar facing Ben who was wearing a very smart khaki army uniform. They were saying their vows to each other as Angela's mum shed tears sat next to me in the front row. Suddenly and unexpectedly the dream shifted and it was me and Jasper stood in front of the vicar as he said "you may kiss the bride" Jasper swept my hair away, which was styled into pretty ringlets, placed his palm on my right cheek and kissed me. As we turned around to walk out of the church the dream shifted again, all of a sudden we were in a garden, _our garden_ with our farmhouse behind us. I moved my hands to flatten out the apron that was covering my dress and my hands brushed across my swollen stomach. A huge proud smile grew across my face as I realised I was about 6 months pregnant. My expression was mirrored on Jaspers face when I looked at him. The next thing I knew I was in a kitchen using an Aga to bake, I looked out of the kitchen window into the garden where I had been just a few moments ago and saw 3 small children playing. There were two little boys perhaps 4 and 5 years old, with wavy and unruly mousey blonde hair and a little girl around 2 years old with chocolate brown hair curled in ringlets reaching to her little shoulders. She turned around to face me and I gasped when I realised she looked exactly like me. In the same moment I felt a pair of strong arms embrace me from behind, I turned slightly to see Jasper and quickly realised that these were our children. It was at this point that I woke.

The dreams had left me feeling very cheerful. I enjoyed the thoughts of Jasper's and my future together for a few moments before getting out of bed. I decided in an instant that the next time I saw Jasper would be the time that I would tell him I loved him. The thought made me anxious as I had never said those 3 little words to a man before but I loved him and really wanted the future I had seen in my dreams.

I didn't have a shift at the hospital until later that day, so I took the time to write to my parents to tell them of Angela's engagement and impending wedding and also to tell them about how I had met a wonderful man and how lucky I felt to have him. I hadn't mentioned Jasper in my previous letters home but I was certain my parents would be pleased for me. I padded out the letter with a few details of my life in London and the progress of my nurse training. Towards the end I realised I was babbling a little so I quickly ended the letter and placed it into an envelope before sealing and addressing it. I placed it on my dressing table and I planned to visit the post office and send it tomorrow by first class post.

My shift at the hospital began at 2pm, but as usual I arrived early. The shift had been uneventful; we had received a few new admissions during the course of the afternoon, one soldier suffering from typhoid and two men with gunshot wounds. Sergeant Alfred Heathcoat was the gentleman afflicted by typhoid. He was an older soldier in his early 40's with weathered skin and brown hair that was starting to grey and he was quite frankly mad! Delirium was a common symptom of the condition, but I felt quite distressed watching him scream and shout, he kept trying to get out of bed but then falling as his legs were too weak to support him at times he didn't even know who he was. I had just finished making him comfortable in his bed after his seventh fall to the floor when I saw Jasper striding urgently down the corridor towards me.

My heart started to flutter and my spirits instantly lifted, but this was a short lived feeling that disappeared as soon as I saw the expression on his face. Jaspers expression was grave, his eyes were wide and the sweet smile I loved so much had been replaced with a severe frown. He somehow looked so much older and I knew in an instant something bad had happened. The feeling of dread was building up inside my chest threatening to burst out at any minute. Jasper said he needed to talk with me immediately and privately; his tone was dark and intense as he dragged me by the wrist and hurried me into the matron's office. Once in the little poorly lit office, he sat down in a chair and held his head in his hands he was shaking his head but saying nothing. I cautiously approached him and knelt in front of him placed my hands on his and pulled them from his face. Panicking I asked Jasper what had happened, at this point he stood up quickly and began pacing the room. I knew from his reaction this was going to be bad!

"Everything is wrong Bella, everything! My regiment is being relocated in a month to Copthorne Barracks in Shrewsbury. In a month there will be over 150 miles between us. I will never get to see your pretty face or run my fingers through your hair; oh Bella the thought of being without you is torturing me! I can't lose you I just can't"

At this point he sat back down in the chair and looked crushed. His eyes were welling up with tears, and he was shaking. I took a few seconds to process what Jasper had said and then instinctively I blurted out my response.

"Jasper, I love you!" oh dear Lord I had said it. I continued giving him no chance to interrupt,

"You're in my every thought and being without you would positively destroy me! I can and will transfer my training to a hospital near Shrewsbury. You will not lose me, nor I you"

"You love me??"

I nodded and blushed. Suddenly I felt very alarmed, what if he didn't feel the same way?

"Bella you cannot believe how long I have wanted to hear those words and return them to you. Nurse Swan I love you too, more than life it's self"

His voice broke when he said he loved me and I looked up to see Jasper crying a little. I had never seen a man cry with emotion before, pain yes; after all I worked in a hospital, but emotion never. As he pulled me close and held me tightly I began to cry too, at this point all I could think of was how I never wanted him to let me go. Jasper began to speak again and interrupted my thoughts; his voice was much lighter and relaxed now

"Since I heard the news I have been so worried I would be losing you. I've been pacing up and down outside the hospital for 25 minutes trying to find the courage to come and tell you. But I'm so glad I did, you have made me a very happy man Isabella Swan"

Before returning to work I reassured Jasper that nurses moved hospitals all the time for all sorts of reasons and promised I would speak to the matron as soon as the opportunity arose.

**Authors note, **

**Just to bore you all a bit again now, shortly before the blitz began in September 1940 the K.S.L.I and all its troops were called back to Copthorne Barracks in Shrewsbury** **before going off to Europe and North Africa to fight. I could be wrong but I think the barracks are still there now!! **

**Rationing ****came into effect in 1940. Meaning each person could buy only a fixed amount of certain foods each week. Much of Britain's food came from other countries in ships and as the German army was busy sinking them there was a lot of shortages. Rationing was the government's way of making sure everyone got their fair share.**

**So do you want me to let Edward out of my cupboard??? Review the chapter and I might think about it! **

**Magenta xxxx**


	5. Chapter 5

_**As always your reviews make me smile! My beta **__**acacia6583 still rocks!**_

_**Marcy, you have already enjoyed a sneak preview of this chapter, so I hope you enjoy it in its entirety!**_

_**Twilight and it's characters belong to Stephenie Meyer not me, but I really wish I owned Edward.**_

Bella 

I decided it would be best not to speak to the matron tonight about my predicament and my desire to transfer hospitals, as dealing with Sergeant Heathcoat had got her very flustered. She was a short and portly woman in her late fifties. Her body was very rounded and she lacked shape, her hair wiry grey hair was tightly permed. She was a strict lady yet she had a warm and friendly manner about her and I liked her very much. I knew she would be upset at my decision, after all I was a jolly hard worker, but I was almost certain she would respect my decision and do her best to help me. She had often commented on what a nice young chap Jasper was and how being with him had increased my self confidence 10 fold, she was a romantic at heart and she would understand my need to be with Jasper.

My shift finished at 10pm. It was a mild night outside so I decided not to hurry back to my room and to take a minute to look at my surroundings. After all I would probably not see the city sky line again after I had transferred. I was shocked to find this thought upset me little. I longed to be in the country-side again surrounded by fields and the smell of fresh hay bales, but I had forged many pleasant memories here and had many a happy experience. As I looked up at the summer's sky my mind drifted to thoughts of copper coloured hair, a crooked smile, green eyes and sad goodbyes. I wondered what Edward was doing now and where he was I fervently hoped he was ok. I quickly put an end to these thoughts and chastised myself for breaking the promise I had made to never think of him again. I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind and increased the pace of the short journey home.

Once inside my room I removed my uniform, hung it up on a hanger and slipped into my nightdress and dressing gown. When I first began my training I had a great dislike for my uniform, the silly little white headdress was a nightmare to get on correctly. The little light blue blouse was so stiff and starchy and had to be very neatly tucked into the navy blue calf length skirt. The whole outfit was then topped off with full length white apron and a white belt around the waist. However I had been training for almost a year now and I had grown accustomed to wearing it, whenever I caught a glimpse of my reflection I felt very smart and proud to be wearing it. Being a nurse suited me. Sat on my bed I could not shake the thought that I was missing something. After a few moments I realised that something was Angela. After a late shift at the hospital we would always have a quick catch up before going to bed, but there had been no knock on my door. I felt a trifle daft for forgetting about my friend but that feeling was quickly replaced with concern. I darted across the hallway and knocked on Angela's door. There was no answer. I knocked again. The door slowly opened revealing a very upset Angela; tears were streaming down her face. Once I was inside her room it became apparent that she had been crying for a while, there was a little damp patch on her pillow and she was having difficulty speaking.

Angela took a deep breath and managed to squeak out a few incoherent words. But I heard the most important one....."Ben." How could I have been so stupid and selfish? Jasper and Ben were in the same regiment of course Ben would be moving and Angela would be devastated at the prospect of her fiancé leaving. I had been so wrapped up in my own affairs I had completely forgotten Angela. She whimpered something about never seeing Ben again and how could a relationship work when you never saw each other. I sat down next to her on the bed and held her tightly. I rubbed my hand in circles on her back and rocked slowly back and forth in a comforting manner. I broke the news to her that Jasper would be leaving and that I planned to follow him and start working nearer to him. I suggested that she came to see the matron with me in the morning. Angela she nodded with a sniffle and a small smile. Although her spirits had been lifted a little she was still upset and exhausted from crying, so I stayed with her for a while as she drifted off to sleep. Angela had always been a sensitive soul; she was ruled by her emotions and wore hear heart on her sleeve. Normally these were endearing qualities but in situations like these her heart took over the thinking and all logic would disappear, which is why she hadn't thought of transferring. When I felt confident that Angela was fast asleep I retired to my room.

By the time Angela and I reached the hospital for our early shift I had begun to feel quite anxious about speaking with the matron, what if she was in a bad mood? What if she said no to the transfer? Angela seemed a lot happier today and was her usual chirpy self. She was animatedly talking about how fabulous it was going to be back in country-side near her family and friends, it was almost as if last night hadn't happened. As much as I tried to shake the anxious feeling I couldn't. Sometimes I wished I could be more like Angela. I did my morning rounds in a sombre manner, which in due course attracted the attention of the matron. She quietly asked me to follow her to her office, once inside inquired about my gloomy mood and pointed out that it was out of character for me. I avoided eye contact with her, my was gaze fixed on the table separating us, as I explained myself. She listened attentively as I spoke and through the corner of my eye I could see her occasionally nodding her head. After I had finished describing my situation I felt as if a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders and I instantly felt lighter. I sat back in my chair, now more relaxed, and awaited her reply.

"Isabella Swan you are good at your job, very good in fact. You have a lot of potential and you are a mighty hard worker. It is a sad thing that you wish to leave us but I understand and empathise with your circumstances. Leave it with me and I will fill in the relative paperwork for the transfer to Shrewsbury"

I stood up and thanked her. I could not hold back that had spread across my face. I had just skipped the short distance from my chair to the office door and was about to open it when the matron spoke once more.

"Nurse Swan?"

"Yes ma'am "

"Would I be correct in assuming that Nurse Webber shares your situation?"

I nodded in reply.

"Ok. Could you please find her and ask her to come see me"

"Yes ma'am. I'll do that now"

I returned to my normal light-hearted self after my chat with matron. I was positively on a high which made the shift pass very quickly indeed. Before I knew it, it was 3pm and my shift was over. I popped to my room to get changed before skipping off to meet Jasper at the gates. Jasper was going to escort me to the post office to post the letter to my parents then we were going out for a drink. As we were going out I wanted to look nice so I quickly dressed in a little brown dress with a little belt to bring it in around my middle. The sleeves ended just above my elbows and I was showing off a little of pale skin on my arms, not too much though as I had on a pair of brown gloves. The outfit was finished with a little brown beret and a pair of black heels. I'll admit the heels made me nervous, with my clumsy nature the heels were doubtlessly tempting fate. But none the less I looked nice. Jasper was noticeably pleased with my attire and after a kiss he held me round the waist at arm's length so he could get a better look. He told me I looked ravishing which made me blush uncontrollably.

After a few drinks with Jasper I was feeling a little tipsy. I had never drunk this much before but it was quite a wonderful feeling. Jasper couldn't help but laugh at me swaying slightly and struggling to walk properly in my heels. But I knew I looked anything but dignified as I walked so I chuckled with him. I was still feeling the effects of the alcohol when we got to the hospital gates; it had made me feel more confident and a little bit daring perhaps even naughty. When Jasper started to say goodnight I held my index finger to his lips and demanded he stopped talking immediately. Jasper looked puzzled as I removed my finger and placed my hand around his wrist,

"Follow me" I whispered.

I knew I could get into serious trouble for sneaking him into the nurse accommodation, but the alcohol meant I didn't fear the consequences of my actions.

"Bella! What on earth are you doing? I'm not allowed in there! Bella!"

I let go of his wrist and turned to face him. With both hands on my hips I replied

"Are you saying you have grown tired of my company this evening Private Whitlock?"

"No of course not, I just..."

I interrupted him before he could finish what he was saying.

"Just as I thought, so be quiet then and follow me"

I snuck him quietly up the staircase to the first floor. As I peered around the corner and began to check for signs of life I suddenly had a fit of the giggles as I imagined myself as a government spy on a secret mission. Jasper looked at me like I had gone mad. I managed to pull myself together as we ran down the corridor to my room. I unlocked the door and pushed Jasper inside before locking it again and pressing my back to the door and catching my breath. I looked at Jasper; he had removed his khaki coloured cap and had placed it on my dressing table. He was pacing my little room taking everything in. He turned to look at me and flashed me a playful grin.

"Well, well, Miss Swan, this is a terribly mischievous thing to being doing. My reputation could be seriously damaged if I was to get caught here. I have never been inside a lady's bedroom before but I'd be lying if I said I was unhappy about it"

He started to close the short distance between us.

"A girl can have a mischievous side cant she?" I said with my head cocked slightly to one side.

Jasper was stood right in front of me now. His hands flat against the door at either side of my head. He was so close I could smell the scent of his aftershave and feel his breath on my face. He smelt so good my mouth began watering with anticipation. I could feel my breathing speeding up as his face got closer to mine; he parted his lips before placing them gently on mine. My body began reacting in glorious ways to the intensity of his kiss, our lips moving quickly together. I did my best to stifle a scream as he unexpectedly lifted me up off the floor. He gently placed me on the bed before lying down next to me. With our foreheads pressed together we just lay there smiling neither of us said anything, we just lay there taking in the intimacy of the moment. I moved my face closer to his and we began kissing again. Jaspers breathing increased rapidly and he let out a little groan. If I'm honest I was rather enjoying his body's reaction to me. As I began to run my fingers through his soft hair Jasper's hand started to roam. He was slowly running his hand down my back at first, then down the length of my thigh. His hand stopped when he reached my bottom and gave it a gentle squeeze. I could not help the moan that escaped my mouth. I had never been touched like this before and the way my body was reacting to the intimacy was a new sensation to me. I stopped what I was doing and looked at Jasper with a mock scolding expression.

"What?" Jasper asked "I've been enjoying your naughty side, now it's time for you to enjoy mine!"

Our tongues and hands began to explore each other again I had unfastened a few buttons of Jasper's shirt so I could feel his warm skin. I was soon lost in the pleasure of the moment. After what felt like an eternity Jasper said that although he didn't want to he must leave. I made sure the coast was clear Jasper stealthily made his way out of the building. I quickly ran over to the window to wave him goodbye, he blew me a kiss and ran off into the night.

I woke early still feeling last night's excitement. I rushed to get dressed before crossing the hallway to see Angela. I was waiting at the door trying my best to wipe the smug smile from my face but my efforts were in vain. Angela extracted all the details from me. When I told her that I had snuck him in to my room her mouth instantly fell open with shock. As I finished recounting last night to her she began squealing and flapping her arms like an excitable chicken. It was a hilarious sight. Once she had calmed down we began the walk to work.

The next few days passed quickly. It was July now Angela and I had both received the news that we would be transferring hospital to Bicton Heath in Shrewsbury in three weeks, just one week after Jasper and Ben were due to have left. Our parents couldn't have been more thrilled at the idea of us being closer to home. The time seemed to disappear and in what felt like no time at all I was at the train station saying tearful goodbyes to Jasper. Packing up my belongings and studying hard kept my mind occupied and prevented me moping about Jasper. The day Angela and I were due to leave for the train station I received a letter from Jasper. He was enjoying his new barracks and they were keeping him busy there, he was also missing me terribly and was eager for my arrival. The letter was signed _forever yours, Pte Jasper Whitlock _with three kisses after his name.

After the long train journey from London to Shrewsbury we were met at the station by hospital transport. I had been well aware of Bicton hospital and I was a little apprehensive of working here. Before the war Bicton had been an institute for people with mental health problems, or an asylum as the older generations called it. I was always told that if I didn't behave myself when I was younger I would be sent to live at Bicton. The thought terrified me. Yet here I was stood outside the hospital waiting to move in. I had never seen the hospital before and I was not prepared for its beauty and grandeur. The red brick building was enormous and was built in the style of a Tudor mansion with an enormous expanse of gardens surrounding it. It had a small set of steps leading up to the luxurious entrance and above the entrance was an impressive bell tower. Once inside the beauty continued with marble floors and impressive wooden staircases. I was in awe of this building, it was nothing like the place my nightmares had conjured up all those years ago.

We were given a brief talk about the hospital and a quick look around before being shown to our rooms on the third floor. We were told we would be expected to start work in two days and that the work would be quite different to what we had grown accustomed to. Bicton was a rehabilitation hospital so the pace would be more relaxed than in Whitechapel and that like the previous hospital it was exclusively for the care British soldiers. I was just pleased to be rid of the overwhelming smell of disinfectant that we had to tolerate in the other hospital. Angela's and my room were no longer as close as where we were before as she was at the other end of the corridor. Once inside my room I gasped. It could not have been more different than my previous accommodation. It was a large square room decorated with a few paintings of what appeared to be local scenery. On the far wall there was a fire place with a beautiful wooden mantelpiece. There was a dressing table under the large window as well as a chest of drawers and a large wardrobe, both grand in appearance. In the middle of the room was a wooden bed that matched the rest of the furniture.

Over the next few weeks I had spent time with Jasper on several occasions. We were both elated with the fact that we had left London when we heard the news that the Blitz had begun in September. It was selfish to think like that I know, but Whitechapel had been reduced to rubble I was just so glad both of us were out of harm's way. The papers reported over 2000 people were killed or injured on the first night alone and the bombing showed no signs of stopping. I settled into my new job well, it was much more relaxed than Whitechapel and I adored the fact I had more time to spend with the patients and that it was a more homely environment. Each patient had their own room that were similar in style to my own room, there was a games room, a sun lounge and a few communal rooms for the patients.

So here I am. It is mid-September and I have been working at Bicton for over a month now. I am waiting for the arrival of a new patient. I look down at my admission sheet to check the details once more. Lance Corporal Cullen will be arriving in about 10 minutes.

**A/N**

**So Edward will be here in 10 mins! You best get your selves ready girlies! **

**The blitz began on September 7th 1940, it began with the bombing of London for 57 consecutive nights. **

**The hospital is a real psychiatric hospital near where I live and is an incredibly beautiful building. It is one of the last Victorian "asylums" still in use as a mental health hospital. The only thing I have changed is the hospital's name.**

**Let me know what you think by reviewing!**

**Magenta xxx**


	6. Chapter 6

_**As always your reviews make me smile and I'm glad you're all enjoying my story so far! I just wish more of you readers would review (you know who you are!!)**_

_**My beta **__**acacia6583 is awesome, if you haven't read "Brand New Eyes" then you should! Her next fic "Comsumed by Fire" is going to be amazing, trust me I'm privileged enough to get sneak previews of Firefighter Cullen!!!! **_

_**Marcy I'm glad you enjoyed the shout out!**_

_**Twilight and it's characters belong to Stephenie Meyer not me. **_

_**So ladies Lance Corporal Cullen has been let out of my love cupboard and has come to see you all. Let me know what you think of him**_

Edward

Ten months ago I left London behind, my job in the army meant I was going to fight the German forces invading Europe. The journey was long and uncomfortable. The regiment stopped over night in Normandy before travelling to a beautiful French town called Arras. We spent a few uneventful months there before moving to Belgium where we were to be stationed for the foreseeable future. By 1940 the German forces were trying to surround and cut off the Allied troops here and I saw a lot of fierce fighting and close friends die. The atrocities of war were horrendous but we kept so busy there was no time to really take it all in, just reload your gun and shoot the faceless troops heading towards you. Defend your position at all costs, it was kill or be killed. I saw many a soldier hesitate in battle and it usually cost him his life. I am proud to admit I am a brave soldier often going above and beyond the call of duty. My commitment was soon rewarded with promotions and I revelled in my role as Lance Corporal Cullen. By mid June 1940 the weather was sweltering and the sun baking, making the stench of the living and the dead unbearable. We had spent the last week defending a small town in the north of Belgium. The town had been reduced to rubble by incessant fighting, gun and heavy artillery fire was constant, barely a building was left standing and the noise was deafening. The town was completely uninhabitable and empty of civilians, or so we thought. As I was reloading my rifle a girl of about 5ft 4 dressed in dirty rags stepped out of a collapsed building. She had her back to me and her long wavy brown hair was blowing in the slight breeze. I remember thinking she looked just like someone I knew and I remember the instant feeling of panic overwhelming me. I remember the need, _my_ need to get her out of harm's way.

I woke the next day in a field hospital in a tremendous amount of pain despite the copious amount of morphine I had been administered. My whole body ached but my head was causing me the most pain with its constant throbbing. I reached up to find it bound in tight bandages. The doctor informed me I was very lucky to have survived, I had a severe head wound and my legs had been badly damaged by the shrapnel. The shrapnel had not only torn holes in my flesh its force had broken the bones of my lower legs in a few places. I was utterly confused with what he had told me, I was just engaged in fighting a war now I was lay in a hospital in the most dreadful of pain.

I spent the next few days in and out of consciousness barely aware of my surroundings. The doctor informed me I was suffering from some memory loss on account of the head wound; he was unsure whether I would ever regain my lost memories. I found it difficult to take in all the information he was giving me. When I transferred from the field hospital to a more stable one, my good friend Private Black had visited me and told me what had happened. He had been fighting next to me and was absolutely shocked as I stood up, breaking my cover and screaming "Bella." Apparently I had run across the open plain of battle towards the girl, avoiding countless bullets and explosions to reach her. I then forcefully shoved her behind a low brick wall for cover. It was then that a mortar exploded to my right knocking myself and the girl unconscious and peppering me with red hot shrapnel. Black proudly told me I had saved the girls life and that she was rescued unharmed. Well, at least I knew how ended up in this awful hospital. But who was Bella? Why did I feel the need to put my own life in danger for her? When asked Black shrugged his broad shoulders and shook his head, it appeared that I had never spoken of her to him and I had no girlfriend or wife. However as he left he wished me well and handed me a small book. It was about the size of a slice of bread and bound neatly in black leather. I opened the book to find it was a journal, it took me a few moments to realise it was written in my handwriting and it was therefore my journal. I had no recollection of having kept a journal yet I felt certain I would find some answers in here. The entries were sporadic and had so far yielded no clues as to who this girl was. When I reached November 1939 I found a very long and detailed entry about a dance I had gone to.

"Last night was a wonderful night I had enjoyed a drink with the most beautiful girl I had had the pleasure to lay my eyes upon. I hadn't really wanted to go to the party in Whitechapel. After all I had no lady friend to go with and a party without a lady to dance with had the distinct possibility of being very tiresome. But the old boys from the barracks weren't taking no for an answer. We are due to depart to the battlefields of Europe in a few days and they wanted to enjoy their last night of freedom.

Once we arrived at the dance hall. I got a beer and positioned myself at the bar. I had been stood there for a few hours or so occasionally speaking with other soldiers and I had every intention of staying next to the bar all night. That was until a slender girl in a flattering red and white polka dot dress approached the bar. I had noticed her earlier in the evening with another soldier but paid her no real attention, but there she was leaning against the bar looking thoroughly despondent. I watched her for a little while as her eyes focused sadly on a dancing couple and she bit her bottom lip. Despite the fact she was so obviously devastated about something I could not help being astounded by her angelic beauty. The soldier she had been with was nowhere to be seen, perhaps they had argued and he had left? I walked over to her and asked if she was ok, she looked up at me through her long eyelashes for a moment before she explained her gentleman friend was unwell and he had left. I smiled at her honesty. I introduced myself and she told me her name was Bella. After buying her a drink I gestured for her to follow me to a table and pulled out a chair for her like a true gentleman. I found her totally enchanting; the conversation flowed easily between us like we were old friends. I became captivated by the way her flowing brown hair would move when she spoke, the way she would bite her bottom lip while thinking how to reply to a question and the way she would so easily blush an irresistible shade of crimson. Her voice was soothing and hypnotic; occasionally I would inhale the scent of her perfume and savour its divine aroma. She smelt almost good enough to eat.

All too soon a girl approached Bella and told her it was time to leave. Suddenly it felt like someone had punched me in the stomach, I had only just met this girl I wasn't ready to let her go just yet. I walked her to the door and placed kiss on both of her delicate hands before walking her to her cab. My heart skipped a beat when she asked if she would see me around and then I could feel it start to heart ache as I told her I was leaving for France. I leant over and placed a kiss on her soft cheek, inhaling her scent once more. I fought the urge to scoop her into my arms and stop her leaving as she sadly smiled and got into the cab. That was the last I saw of Bella but it is most certainly not the last time I will think of her."

There were a few other entries describing dreams I had had about Bella, including one where we had taken a midnight stroll along the pier in Brighton. Another where we were lay in each other's arms in a beautiful meadow, wonderful wild flowers surrounded us as we gazed at each other. But that was all, she had no surname. It seemed mighty strange that I had been so taken with this girl yet I could not remember her face.

A few days later I was transferred once again but this time to a hospital in Southampton, it felt good to be on familiar soil and to be away from the constant noise of battle. For most of the day I was left alone in the small hospital room, the only thing that bothered me was the powerful smell of disinfectant. In the quiet of my room I set about trying to regain my lost memories. An image of a red and white polka dot dress flashed through my mind, I knew from my journal the dress belonged to Bella. More little memories of that November night came flooding back, each one appearing in an instant as if someone had turned a light on in my head. I recalled thinking she was the most beautiful and charming girl I had ever met. I remembered I was completely enamoured with her and I used to think of her a lot. But try as I might I still could not remember her face, her beauty was sadly lost to me forever. I was experiencing a mixture of emotions as I lay the in my hospital bed. On one hand sheer ecstasy that a few of my memories had returned to me, yet on the other hand unbelievable sorrow that I could not remember Bella's face. I became very frustrated with myself for not being able to remember and being so mindless and irresponsible to put myself and my men in danger for a girl. A girl who could not have possibly been anywhere near the battlefield. People say that war can do funny things to a man and they are right. Unfortunately for me I have learnt that lesson the hard way!

It had been almost three months since my idiocy put me in hospital. The months had been long and full of frustration, both emotional and physical frustration. I have lost a lot of my independence due to the nature of my injuries and I have grown to loathe the way the nurses would fuss over me. My doctor came to see me yesterday and said my legs were healing nicely and I would soon be able to attempt to weight bare and walk again. My head wound had completely healed now too, leaving me with a small scar at the back of my skull. The news was a god send; it was so intolerable and boring constantly lying in bed. I am ashamed to admit that being bed ridden for so long has left me a shadow of my former self. I used to be a polite, charming, friendly gentleman but now I am grumpy, bitter and full of self pity. He also bought the news with him that I would be transferring hospitals yet again. I would leave early tomorrow morning but this time would be the final time.

So here I am enjoying the warm September sun that is filtering into my room awaiting my transport to Bicton hospital in Shrewsbury. The nurses have helped me dress in my uniform and I have shaved and styled my hair. I was pleased with my hair, before the army I had kept it slightly longer and it was not always neat and tidy as I was forever running my hands through it. Being in hospital had given the opportunity for it to grow to a length I much preferred, and it completely covered the scar on the back of my head. My bags had been packed for me and were ready to be loaded into the ambulance. I had prepared myself for the six hour journey, I was very aware that a bump in the road could cause my legs considerable pain. From the hospital window I could see the ambulance approaching along the long straight gravel track.

**So what do you think of Edward??? Should I have let him out of my cupboard??? **

**Edward and Bella will both soon be living in Bicton, what do you guys think will happen???**

**If all goes to plan with this story the chapters will get gradually longer as the story progresses **

**Magenta xxxx**


	7. Chapter 7

_**As always your reviews make me smile and I'm glad you're all enjoying my story so far! I just wish more of you readers would review (you know who you are!!)**_

_**Twilight and its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer not me.**_

_**Niki I've updated early especially for you!**_

_**So Ladies what did you think of Lance Corporal Cullen???**_

Bella 

Recently I was excited to receive a promotion and I am now the nurse charge of my shift. I am responsible for the actions and conduct of myself and three other nurses. The wards are small here with 10 patients in each, so four nurses is an ample amount. Each soldier has his own room situated along a long corridor. At the head of the corridor are the nurse's station and the games room as well as a lounge and a music room. It is most unlike the other hospitals I have worked in as it has a much more homely environment. I look down at the admission sheet for what feels like the twentieth time then I check my fob watch again. The ambulance bringing Lance Corporal Cullen was due at 3.30pm and my watch tells me it is 4pm. I have been stood here now for 40mins tapping my foot. I find tardiness to be most annoying. I have always prided myself on being prompt, often early for things, and I think it only fair people extend the same courtesy to me. Angela was stood to my right; she had just come on shift after lunch with her parents and Ben. I am assuming from her smile that things went well. Since we moved back to Shrewsbury Angela has been in such high spirits it is impossible to feel anything but joy while in her company. To my left is Nurse Alice Brandon. Alice is a wonderful person and I would challenge anyone to find a reason not to like her. Nurse Brandon came here from a Birmingham hospital a week before I arrived here. In the short time Angela and I have been here the three of us have become close friends. Alice is 21, a year older than Angela and I. She is about 5ft 5 with short dark hair, her figure is slender and she moves with such grace and elegance she often appears to be performing a ballet. Alice is a fun loving person, a very loyal friend and a very competent nurse.

With the exception of Nurse Hale I could not wish for a better team of nurses to be at my side. Nurse Rosalie Hale is tall, slim, blonde and beautiful. She was put on my shift two weeks ago. She is never horrible but she is not friendly either, when asked to do something she often chooses not to acknowledge or reply to me. Nonetheless she will complete what is asked of her to the highest standard, you cannot fault Nurse Hale's work practice, but that does not mean I have to like her. Alice describes her as unsociable and reserved, I describe her as arrogant and pretentious. I most certainly do not appreciate the way she walks around the ward flaunting herself as if she were famous. But in spite of my views the patients seem to appreciate it and it keeps their moral high, so I let it continue.

My fob watch tells me it's now 4.15pm; I am unable to wait any longer for the new arrival as I have a meeting with the matron in 10 minutes. As Nurse Hale was busy "_entertaining"_ the patients I left instructions for Alice and Angela to help Lance Corporal Cullen settle in. He would be in the room directly at the bottom of the corridor that had the luxury of French windows that opened out into the grounds. I had decided this room would be the most beneficial room for him as the doors would enable him a little more freedom and independence in the wheelchair that I would be making him familiar with. I quickly ran through the admissions procedure reminding them to make an accurate inventory of soldier's possessions and to jot down any allergies and regular medication. They were more than able to carry out this task and so I left them and headed to the matron's office on the second floor.

The matron called me into her office after I had politely knocked the door. The matron's office was very large indeed, 2 of the four walls were decorated with large book cases. Each bookcase housed hundreds of medical books, some of which were now grossly old fashioned. The books belonged to the hospital and with the matron's permission we could borrow them for our studies. The wall on the left of the room harboured the large fire place and the wall opposite that, was home to the large window that looked out on to the front gardens. I took a quick glance out of the window but did not see an ambulance approaching. The matron was sat at her mahogany desk which was in the middle of the room; she smiled and gestured for me to sit down. The matron was in her late forties, with long blonde hair that was without fail always kept in a bun. She wore her uniform with a great amount of pride and had been doing so for almost 30 years. She was a very approachable woman with a good sense of humour, but she demanded respect and hard work and would not tolerate anyone who strayed from this. We spoke for around an hour about how I was feeling about my new role, possible changes to the way the hospital worked and how I was finding the team of nurses under my supervision. She had a cup of tea bought up from the kitchen for us both and as I sipped it she began to speak of Lance Corporal Cullen. She casually told me of his injuries and his partial memory loss surrounding his accident and asked me to put plans in place for a physiotherapy routine so he could begin to use his legs again. I took this opportunity to let her now I had arranged for him to be in a room with direct access to the outdoors and I had had Nurse Hale retrieve him a wheelchair. Matron smiled and commended me on my initiative and organisational skills, before continuing. Her voice had suddenly developed a serious tone to it.

"Nurse Swan I have received reports from his last hospital that Lance Corporal Cullen can, and will be very rude and obnoxious to the nursing staff. He has been known to say beastly and upsetting things to previous nurses, to the point where they have declined him their help."

I swallowed hard and took a deep breath, I had dealt with soldiers like this before and it was never pleasant. Matron seemed to notice me distress and offered some reassurance.

"I am absolutely certain that this man just has an impolite and improper manner about him and he is of no physical threat to my staff. I would greatly appreciate it if you could address this issue with your team, delicately. It is always worth remembering that this man has suddenly had his independence cruelly taken away from him as well as a major knock to the head, events effect people in different ways Isabella. I expect my staff to deal with him with politeness and dignity. I sincerely hope once his mobility improves we will see the reappearance of the nice young man I am told he used to be"

I nodded my head.

"I have every faith that you are more than capable to deal with this situation. if you have no further questions you are free to leave and get back to your nurses"

I thanked her for her time and the cup of tea before leaving her office and heading back downstairs.

Once downstairs I made my way to the nurse's station. The nurse's station was in a small room, so small in fact that when all four of us were in here it often felt like we were in a cupboard. Patient's notes and medication were kept in here and it was the place we would come to discuss work issues and pass on information between each other and to the next shift of nurses.

I found Alice and Angela stood outside the room giggling like school girls. I could not help but smile inquisitively as I asked them into the room, I asked them whether the new patient had arrived. They informed me he arrived 15 minutes after I had gone upstairs. I was just asking them how he had settled in when Nurse Hale entered the room and leant her back against the door frame, I continued with my questions. Nurse Hale looked thoroughly disinterested in the conversation and I'm almost positive that if I had of allowed it she would have been stood there filing her nails. I informed them of my chat with matron regarding Lance Corporal Cullen and requested they treat the fragile situation with due care and attention and above all to remain professional at all times. After I had finished speaking Nurse Hale sashayed out of the room to attend to one of the patients who was shouting for a nurse. I turned to Angela and Alice and asked them if there had been any trouble with Mr Cullen while they had settled him in. Alice shook her head and cracked a little smile and her cheeks flushed pink, while Angela, obviously fighting back the urge to giggle told me that he was a little rude but had not really said much to either of them. Apparently he had looked out of the window all the time they had been with him, despite their attempts to start up several conversations. The girl's smiles and giggles had intrigued me; I could no longer resist the urge to ask what was so funny. As soon as I had finished speaking Alice quietly closed the door so we could not be overheard. Angela still managing to hold back her giggle started to speak,

"Well, you see, although Lance Corporal Cullen is most abrupt and bad mannered he is actually very good looking"

"Angela!" I blurted out while laughing a little "I am astounded at you, you're engaged for heaven's sake. You should not be thinking such thoughts about other men"

"At first I felt terrible for thinking it; no one could ever be as handsome as my Ben. I have no wishes to replace Ben either, but Mr Cullen is very pleasing to look at. You should see him for yourself Bella."

"And what is Ben going to think of it when I tell him you have fallen for another man?" I jested.

"You wouldn't Bella, you wouldn't! Besides Alice told me it's ok to look as long as you don't touch"

I looked over at Alice who was giggling at our discussion; she was giggling so much a small tear of laughter was running down her cheek.

"Alice, you are leading poor Angela astray and with morals like that it's no wonder you are without a man" I said in a mock scolding tone while wagging my finger at her.

Alice poked her tongue out at me, before composing herself enough to speak.

"Don't judge us until you have seen him for yourself Bella, his face really is very appealing, oh and his body is so...."

"Ok, ok! that's enough now" I said cutting off Alice midsentence "I doubt very much that Lance Corporal Cullen is as handsome as Jasper, and to prove my point I will go and introduce myself to him now"

I smiled before turning my back on them and leaving the room, and telling them to get back to work or I would have them sacked. Honestly, this man had turned them in to silly school girls, surely no one could be that handsome. I began giggling to myself as I replayed the conversation we had just had in my head. I was going to have to have serious words with this man if he continued to excite my nurses in this manner. Maybe I would recommend to him that he should wear a pillowcase over his head or grow a big unsightly beard, so Angela and Alice behaved themselves. As I got closer to his door I began to feel a little nervous and tense, what if he was so overwhelmingly beautiful that he had the same affect on me? It would hardly look professional when I introduced myself, in fact I would more than likely make a fool of myself. I could see it happening in my head "Hello, I'm Nurse Swan and I'm in charge of this.... oh you are frightfully handsome by the way" I must stay strong and focused I could not embarrass myself in such a manner, I would not allow it.

I could feel my heart pounding as I took the final step towards his door and raised my hand to knock, all the time my inner voice repeating "you can do this Bella, just stay calm and focused" I was just about to knock when I heard Nurse Hale screaming my name from behind me. I quickly made my way toward her to find Pilot Davies on the floor of his room looking very distressed. Pilot Davies was 35 years old and had had to crash-land his plane after it had received substantial damage in a dog fight. Unfortunately as a result of his accident he had had to have both his legs amputated below the knees as they had been crushed in the cockpit of the plane. The poor chap also suffered from a terrible stress disorder that soldiers commonly refer to as shell shock. Pilot Davies gets awfully confused and often relives the plane crash in his mind believing it is happening all over again. It is very upsetting to watch him when he has these episodes, he will scream and shout and thrash around in his bed. We are completely helpless as he doesn't even realise we are in the room.

A very frightened Nurse Hale explains that Pilot Davies was having one of these episodes and he threw himself on the floor and started ripping at the bandages on his legs. I had never seen Nurse Hale in an emotional state before, she really was quite worried she had done something wrong and should have been able to prevent this. For the first time ever I reassured Rosalie, it felt odd doing this, but she had done everything the way I would have carried it out. She even acknowledged my reassurance with a nod of her head and smile. Now Pilot Davies was a little less agitated we helped in back on the bed and began redressing his wounds.

By the time we had finished with Pilot Davies, it was the end of the shift. I was a little disappointed I had not had chance to Introduce myself to the apparent Adonis that was Lance Corporal Cullen. But he would have to wait; I was going upstairs for some well earned rest before spending my day off tomorrow with Jasper. After all he couldn't be that wonderful, could he?

**Well girlys, could Edward be that wonderful??? **

**Send me lots of reviews and I'll let him out of the love cupboard for the next chapter!!!**

**I hope you don't think I've been too mean to Rose, she may get nicer she may not, I'm not telling!**

**Magenta xxx**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Twilight and its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer not me. **_

_**So its update time again and because of your lovely reviews you can have Edward for the rest of the evening!!!**_

_**Once again thanks to my amazing beta acacia6583, who manages to read my story, write 2 of her own, do a degree and look after her husband and kids!! **_

_**Thanks also to Niki who has helped me loads!!**_

_**Here's what Edward has got to say for himself.... **_

Edward 

It seemed to take the ambulance crew a life time to load me on my stretcher into the back of the ambulance. The transfer from my bed to the stretcher had not been a smooth one. I had screamed and sworn at a young nurse for knocking my leg and causing me an immeasurable amount of pain. Once I was on the stretcher I continued to berate the silly girl for her incompetence until she deserted me. She left the room in search of a handkerchief to wipe away her tears, leaving me on the stretcher with only Nurse Jones for company. In the time I had spent at the hospital I had made no secret of my disdain for Nurse Jones as she was a frightful old battle axe with a sharp tongue. I had been told by the doctor that she was the only nurse left who was happy to care for me, I laughed at this comment as she was a most uncaring person. Although if I am to be honest with myself I preferred her to the other nurses as she would not fuss around me so much or try to make conversation with me. However she would often chastise me for my apparent appalling and abrupt manner towards the nursing staff. The one thing she despised above all others was the fact I would frequently swear while in the presence of the fairer sex.

"Mr. Cullen it is most uncouth and improper to use such language in front of ladies, as a man of your position you should know better" she would say while going red in the face through anger. "It is most rude!"

In principle I agreed with her, before my accident I would never have entertained the idea of using foul language in front of a lady, I was in fact quite the gentleman. But quite frankly being confined to your bed all day is very frustrating and I needed to vent this frustration somewhere, also I did not class the nurses as ladies but more of an affliction. On certain days I would even go as far as to think of them as my own personal incubus sent from Satan himself to irritate me with their constant chirpiness and incessant need to make me comfortable.

Once in the ambulance I was informed that a nurse would be sat in the back with me in case I needed anything. I never caught the nurse's name but she was young, in her late teens I imagine, quite pleasant on the eyes with curled white blond hair and big blue eyes. Her best feature was that she didn't appear to need to talk much which was without a doubt a blessing. For the first two hours of the journey I was able to sleep, but I was jolted awake when the ambulance hit a bump in the road. Any sudden movement or knock would cause immense pain in my legs, I tried to grit my teeth and quietly work through the pain but it was completely impossible. My legs felt like they were burning with pain and I closed my eyes and let out an almighty scream. The scream was of no help, the pain from my legs was still excruciating but the I was glad when the ambulance slowed to a stop. I hoped the stillness of the vehicle would ease the pain a lot quicker than if we had remained on the move. As my eyes were still tightly closed as I tried to breathe through the torture, I did not see what the nurse was doing I just felt a cold wetness pouring on to my face. I opened my eyes to see her stood there with a half empty bottle of water with an apologetic look on her face.

"Holy Mary mother of God, what are you doing you silly girl? I'm writhing around in agony and you somehow think throwing half a bottle of water on my face is going to help. Well young lady, I can tell you, you are very much mistaken! The only thing water will soothe is a thirst and that's providing you drink it not empty a bottle on someone's face!" I bellowed at her.

She stood there looking upset and frightened and didn't make any attempt to reply. I was not prepared to let this go without some sort of explanation so I began to yell at her again.

"Do you have any sense at all or are you always this simpleminded? Explain yourself woman!"

"I'm sorry Mr Cullen. I was just pouring you a glass of water so you could take some tablets for the pain and my leg got caught causing me to slip and spill water on you. I'm so sorry please forgive me Mr Cullen, I never meant to make you angry" she whimpered

"I should bloody well think you're sorry, now give me those tablets. And it's Lance Corporal Cullen"

She timidly held out the tablets and I snatched them from her hand. This time she actually managed to pass me a glass of water to wash them down with. After I had swallowed them the engine started and we continued with the journey. The nurse was still sat in the back with me, but she was out of my line of sight. I could hear her sniffle every now and again and I assumed she was most likely crying, as most women do if you raise your voice to them. I felt no guilt for making her cry, maybe that is because I'm a dreadful excuse for a man or maybe it was because the pain medication was making me drowsy. I could not resist the pull of the medication any longer and I fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

I woke to the sounds of the doors opening and the summer sun filling the back of the ambulance. I must have slept for the whole journey. I had awoken feeling bright and refreshed and eager to see what the new hospital was like. I was facing the front of the vehicle so I could only hear the ambulance driver and the nurse talking with two unfamiliar female voices. Eventually their chatting finished and they supported me out of the ambulance. I was amazed by the hospital, its beauty was astounding. A huge old fashioned red bricked building with windows a plenty and generous ground that were well maintained, this was a pleasant surprise and much better than I had expected. The two nurses who I had heard speaking had reappeared and introduced themselves as Nurse Brandon and Nurse Webber and welcomed me to Bicton. They seemed very nice young ladies but I'm sure with time they will test my patience and become awfully bothersome.

I could not help but stare at Nurse Webber, not because she was pretty but because her face seemed quite familiar. I must have been staring for some time as she turned and asked me if everything was ok. I nodded and gave her a rare smile in return. Once the ambulance driver had unloaded my belongings and returned from where he was told where to leave them, he said goodbye and we shook hands. In spite of her better judgments the nurse who had travelled with me smiled and said she was sorry once again. I did not reply to her instead I just looked at her indifferently, until her smile was replaced with a melancholy frown and she climbed back into the ambulance.

Nurse Brandon asked me if I would like to go and see my room but explained she was more than happy for me to spend some time enjoying the afternoon sun in the garden if I liked. I was genuinely taken aback by her; she was not like the other patronising nurses I had so often encountered she seemed sincere in her kindness. More importantly she had spoken to me with respect, like an adult not a sick child in need of sympathy. I thought to myself for a few brief moments that perhaps I would be able to tolerate her and respect her maybe even become friends with her. But ever the pessimist I reminded myself I should not jump the gun, after all I had only just met the young woman and a lot could change. I declined her offer to stay out in the garden but I expressed my heartfelt thanks for her kindness and generosity. I took the time to explain to the nurses the ghastly pain I suffered in my legs if they were knocked or jarred and asked them kindly to bare that fact in mind when I was moved.

We entered the ward without any form of bother. Once more I was impressed, the ward was very grand and ornate and it seemed to be a more informal environment that the previous hospitals I had frequented. Nurse Webber quickly hurried off to answer the calls of a patient and I was left with Nurse Brandon. Before taking me to my room Nurse Brandon briefly pointed out where the communal areas were. I was pleased to hear there was a games room as I can be quite partial to a game of gin rummy and poker. She also introduced me to Nurse Hale, a classically pretty blonde thing with big blue eyes and the stereotypical perfect silhouette. I found the fact she appeared to flaunt her looks and her apparent lack of charm utterly unattractive. I barely spoke two words to her, she was clearly not used to this type of reaction or lack thereof and she flounced off in the opposite direction causing Nurse Brandon to let a childlike giggle escape the confines of her mouth.

We had reached the door at the end of the corridor, when Nurse Webber reappeared and announced this would be my room. She opened the door and all three of us entered. They smoothly helped me on to my bed and I was positively beaming at the lack of pain the move had caused me, I had experienced quite enough of that today. From my bed I took a moment to appreciate my new home. I had a room of substantial size with a bed in the middle and French doors leading to the garden at the end of the room. The doors had large thick curtains to block out the sunlight if I so wished. I was frightfully pleased at the prospect of having my own access to the grounds as I enjoy spending time in the sun and relaxing in a beautiful garden. It has been such a long time since I have been able to partake in such an activity, because of my damned legs keeping me in bed all day. The wall to the left of the bed housed a large window with a small bookcase underneath, I enjoyed reading and hoped to fill it full of books I could read while in bed and in the garden. Next to my bed I had a little wooden cabinet, on top of which sat a wireless. I secretly rejoiced at the thought of being able to keep abreast with the latest news on the war and listen to some music. I had had no such luxury in Southampton and had come to rely on the doctors to keep me up to speed with the war effort. Along the wall where the door was, were a few wooden cupboards for my personal things to be kept and a wardrobe for my clothes to be hung. Today I had chosen to wear my uniform, as I like to look smart and make a good impression on the people that I meet. However I do own a lot of other clothes that I wear to relax in, more often than not I find a smart pair of trousers and a shirt more than comfortable, sometimes if the mood takes me I appreciate the comfort of staying in my pyjamas coupled with a house coat for warmth.

The two nurses pottered around my room, hanging up my clothes, folding my pyjamas and generally settling me into my room. Occasionally they would attempt to strike up a conversation. As per usual I wasn't in a talkative mood so I would listen and give short one word answers while all the time looking out of the window at the summers day. I noticed a few people taking advantage of the sun, some with a nurse for company others without. How I longed to be out there taking in the fresh air, I would have to remember to ask tomorrow to see it if was possible, even if only for an hour or so. After the nurses had left I turned on the wireless and set about relaxing while listening to Glenn Miller. I removed my journal from my jacket pocket and stared at the black cover. I hoped that being here at Bicton, where I would have ample time to relax would jog my memory a little. Maybe I would remember the accident, maybe I would remember Bella.

I was pulled from my reverie by the sounds of footsteps approaching my door. My journal was very personal and private to me and I was not willing to share its contents with anyone so I quickly returned it to my pocket and returned to gazing out of the window. But no knock came at the door. In the distance I could hear a woman shouting but it was too muffled for me to hear what was being said, so I pushed it to the back of my mind and concentrated on getting my memory back.

A few hours later, around 9 o clock Nurse Brandon knocked and came into my room. She smiled pleasantly at me while handing me a cup of tea with a few biscuits and asked me if there was anything I needed. I shook my head. She put down a sandwich on the bedside table for me and handed me a few books. She explained she had got the books from one of the other wards as she didn't want me to be bored in here all day and night. When I had finished them she would be more than happy to swap them for me. I smiled and thanked her. She then gently helped me to change into my pyjamas, causing my legs no discomfort at all. Before she left she apologised for the fact I had not yet met Nurse Swan and explained they had been very busy and I would get to meet her soon. She gave me a sweet and sincere smile before leaving my room. I hadn't realised how hungry I had been until I had set eyes upon the sandwich and which I quickly consumed and washed down with the tea. Once satisfied with my little meal, I thought a little of Nurse Brandon. She seemed a genuinely nice person, kind and thoughtful. And for the first time since my accident, it seems I have found myself a nurse I can respect and maybe even be friends with. The prospect of this made my very happy, very happy indeed.

**So there you have it, never pour water on Lance Corporal Cullen's face!!**

**If you send me lots of lovely reviews Edward will be meeting Bella in chapter 9!**

**Happy Easter every one**

**Magenta xx**


	9. Chapter 9

_**Twilight and its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer not me, however I belong to Edward!**_

_**Thanks to my amazing beta acacia6583, you should definitely check out her two stories!! **_

_**And thanks to Niki for being wonderful!**_

_**So are you ready for Bella and Edward to meet??**_

Bella 

As soon as I entered my room I would habitually remove my hair pins, brush my hair and then change into my night clothes, but tonight was different. I felt strangely guilty that I had not introduced myself to the new patient; after all it was awfully unprofessional of me. I could not deny the guilt was bothering me, but so was an overwhelming curiosity to see what he looked like. Deep in thought of what I should do, I began pacing my room. Back and forth along the side of my bed with my arms held behind my back. Angela and Alice had seemed terribly flustered by him, what if he felt that I had thought him too unimportant to greet him? Would matron be disgruntled to learn I had not performed my duties correctly? I continued to think long and hard about what I should do, it was not too late to go back downstairs and see him, but then I would hate to disturb him if he was not inclined to receive visitors. I had stopped mid-stride in my pacing, making up my mind and deciding to venture downstairs and politely introduce myself. As I turned to leave my room my attention was diverted to the silver photo frame I kept on my dressing table. I picked it up and smiled as I let out a little sigh. I perched on the edge of my bed while longingly tracing the face in the photo with my finger. The photograph was a portrait of Jasper, smiling my favourite cheeky smile, all spruced up in his soldiers uniform. The photo was a gift from Jasper given not long after I had arrived at Bicton. He looked awfully dapper and I could not resist the urge to smile at it every time I saw it, it was one of my most treasured possessions. I had an unframed photograph of myself laid on the dressing table that I had promised to him in return, but with our conflicting work hours, I hadn't had any time to spend with him recently and so he had not received the picture.

I missed his company dearly and was eager for the morning to arrive as I would be spending the entire day with him. It had been my 20th birthday a few days ago and he had planned a surprise for me tomorrow. It was these thoughts that altered my decision to depart from my room and see Lance Corporal Cullen. I wished to be fresh as a daisy for tomorrow's activities and a late night would not benefit me in the slightest. It was also more than obvious to me that no one was as pretty as Jasper so the meeting could wait. Still, I was rather looking forward to meeting Mr Cullen just to prove the two nurses wrong.

I found it an exceedingly hard task to clear my mind of the day's events, but eventually I succeeded and I fell asleep.

I was awoken around 8.30 the next morning by glorious sunshine pouring in through my windows. I had an hour before I was due to meet Angela. Angela would not be joining me today as she was spending the day with Ben, but nonetheless we would still walk together to meet our sweethearts. I chose myself a dress from my wardrobe and laid it out neatly on the bed before bathing myself and spraying on some perfume. I had just finished getting dressed when there was a knock at my door. When I opened it I was pleasantly surprised to be greeted by both Angela and Alice. Alice had decided to join us downstairs for breakfast before we headed out for the day. I finished the final touches to my hair, before giving them both a twirl and asking for their opinions on my outfit. I had decided to wear the red and white polka dot dress I had worn on my first date with Jasper and they both thought I looked lovely. I slipped on some flat black leather shoes before we headed downstairs to the canteen together.

The canteen wasn't too busy as most people had already departed after eating their breakfast, after all it was 9.30 and breakfast service commenced at 7. We sat at our usual table by the window and all three of us enjoyed two rounds of toast each with damson jam and a lovely cup of tea.

"So, Angela is spending time with Ben and her family today. What are your plans Bella?" Alice asked me after she had sipped at her tea.

"I wish I knew Alice. Jasper has kept today as a surprise as he was unable to celebrate my birthday with me, the not knowing is killing me. But at the same time it's most exciting!" I replied enthusiastically

"Oh how romantic" Alice sighed with her elbows on the breakfast table and her hands holding her head up "I wish I had a sweetheart, I do not begrudge your happiness in the slightest but I am envious of you Isabella Swan, very envious indeed. And of course of you too Angela, who will be married as soon as this damn war is over"

"Alice, you are one of my dearest friends and I can assure you soon enough you will meet your prince charming. I am very lucky to have met Ben and Bella with Jasper, your sweetheart will make himself known when you least expect it."

Angela and I began clearing away the breakfast things as it was fast approaching time to leave.

"Oh I do hope you're right Angela!" Alice said in response while standing up from the table. All three of us began the walk through the canteen and out into the hospital grounds.

"Well I hope you think of me, stuck here all alone on my day off while you two enjoy yourselves" Alice said, her bottom lip protruding to make her look like an upset child.

Angela and I laughed at her silliness. We stood chatting in the garden directly outside our ward. We made some rough plans to meet up when we had returned later in the day and spend a little time together. Alice was stood facing me and the hospital ward when she smiled and waved at someone. She said her goodbyes and walked towards the direction of her wave, as Angela and I walked in the opposite direction to meet Jasper and Ben.

It took a few moments to walk to the end of the gravel drive to the big majestic oak tree where we had arranged to meet. There was no sign of our company yet, but we were a little early. We could hear the sound of a car engine approaching before we saw the shiny black car tootling down the road. We naturally assumed that it was one of the doctors arriving for his shift, it was only when the vehicle got closer I could see Jasper in the driver's seat and Ben in the passenger seat. The car stopped in front of us and both men got out. Jasper's smile was beaming as he approached me and kissed me softly on the lips. He wished me a happy belated birthday before turning to the car and tapping the bonnet three times.

"So ladies, what do you think of my 1939 Vauxhall 10?"

"Jasper it's beautiful!" I excitedly replied. I was not lying the black car was very elegant and the curves of the body were very smooth, I opened one of the back doors and peered inside at the cream leather interior. It was very grand inside and out. "However did you afford to buy this?"

Jasper let out a chuckle before answering.

"I have borrowed it for the day from my father, so I can escort my lovely girlfriend out for the day in the style that she deserves. I thought we could drop Ben and Angela off before going on our merry way"

I smiled and quickly hurried into the front seat of the car while Angela and Ben climbed into the back. We drove in the luxury of the car for around 20 minutes before it was time for our passengers to disembark. As Ben got out of the car he put his hand on Jasper's shoulder and wished him a successful day before winking at him. Ben could be truly peculiar sometimes so I flashed him a confused smile before we started the car and drove off along the road.

Jasper was still remaining tight lipped about our final destination and I noticed he would often fiddle with his trouser pocket as he drove. Maybe he had been receiving lessons in peculiar behaviour from Ben? We drove on for a further half an hour before Jasper parked the car, hopped out and opened the passenger door for me. He smiled and like a true gentlemen, held out his hand to help me get out of the car.

"Well, Miss Swan this is the first part of your birthday present. There are a further two more surprises to come after this one" he raised his eyes brows as he spoke.

I took in a deep breath and took in my surroundings. Jasper had bought me to Whittington castle. Only a few months ago I had explained to him I had wanted to visit the castle since I was a little girl, but I had never had the opportunity to visit. When I was growing up Angela's Nan had often told us the story of Dick Whittington and now here I was stood outside the castle that he called home.

"Oh Jasper! This is wonderful and so thoughtful of you. Thank you so much" I skipped over to him and planted a big kiss on his lips.

Jasper looked very pleased with himself as he led us both across the stone bridge above the moat. We entered the castle through an enormous wooden door, flanked on either side by huge grey stone turrets. We spent a few hours here exploring and being silly in the castle. With the stress of work and the war it was not very often we had the chance to let our hair down so we made the most of our time. Around noon Jasper said it was time for my second present. He explained that I would have to get back into the car and we would have to drive a little further for it.

I had had a lovely morning at the castle and I was eagerly waiting whatever was next. Jasper was still acting a little strangely, smiling as he touched his pocket all the while. I thought to myself that I would have to find the right moment to tell him he need to spent a little less time with Private Cheney, as he was picking up some of his peculiar mannerisms.

Jasper stopped the car twenty minutes later in a beautiful little town called Ellesmere. The narrow streets were cobbled and on both sides stood impressive brown and white timber framed houses and shops, it was like stepping back in time. We meandered through the pretty little streets looking into shop windows as we passed and we soon stumbled upon the town square. Here Jasper asked for my trust as he covered my eyes with a scarf from his pocket. While blind folded he led me gently for a short distance through the streets of Ellesmere, before we turned right into a building. The building was refreshingly cool compared to the September heat outside, it was quiet and calm and it smelled lovely. I could smell freshly baked bread, herbs and stewed apples. Jasper led me to a seat and helped me to sit before removing the blindfold.

I gasped and covered my mouth with my hands. I was sat at a table for two in an old fashioned pub. In front of me laid out on the table was a veritable bounty of food for the two of us. There was soup and fresh bread, a little cheese, some ham and a few sausages we even had apple crumble for desert. Before I could find my voice to tell Jasper how marvellous all this was he was already speaking.

"I've been saving up my rations now for a few weeks now, so we could enjoy this meal together" he said proudly and even though it was broad daylight he lit a candle and placed it on the table between us.

Tears of joy streamed down my face as I thanked Jasper. No one had ever done anything like this for me before it was truly beautiful and incredibly romantic.

As we ate I could not stop smiling and looking at him, he was such a kind and thoughtful man I wondered what I had done to deserve him. We stayed in the little pub for a fair few hours, holding hands and chatting. I had completely lost track of the time when Jasper said it was almost 5 o clock and time for my final surprise. I was so overwhelmed by the day so far I had completely forgotten the third surprise.

We walked hand in hand back to the car, and I hopped in for the third time today. The car moved for about ten minutes before we pulled up at the most beautiful lake I had ever seen. It was gigantic and surrounded by occasional patches of trees and bushes, there were lots of little ducks and swans swimming on the calm water but no other people in sight. Jasper walked about 6 feet from the car and spread a blanket on the ground. He returned to me and took my hand and guided me to the blanket. We sat down side by side and looked out over the placid expanse of water.

"Jasper, you truly are a wonderful man. I'm unsure of what I have done to deserve you but I'm certainly glad I did it." I took hold of his hand before I continued. "Today has been the best day of my life Private Whitlock and for that I am truly grateful"

Jasper smiled in reply, he looked slightly on edge, nervous perhaps. I gazed out over the water as the sun began to set. The sun was casting splendid red and orange reflections on to the water's surface, I don't think I have ever seen anything so breathtakingly pretty. Jasper interrupted my trail of thoughts by standing up, I averted my gaze from the water and looked up at him.

"Now the sun is setting it is time for your final surprise" he said as he began to walk towards the car, he smiled over his shoulder "I hope I am not too forward in saying that I think it will make your day even better Isabella"

"Impossible" I chuckled

"Well please allow me to try" he said as he returned from the car hiding something behind his back. Whatever he had fetched from the car he placed it unseen under the picnic blanket. I was intrigued, I tried to sneak a peek but Jasper caught me.

"That will be revealed shortly my dear, but first there is something I wish to say to you. I want you to listen from start to finish with no interruptions, is that ok?"

I nodded my head and pretended to seal up my lips with my thumb and index finger.

He knelt down in front of me, held my hands in his. He looked me straight in the eyes before starting to speak.

"Miss Swan you have the sweetest soul I have ever encountered, you and you alone have the ability to make me feel that I am alive. Whenever I see you I want to cover you with love, with caresses, with ecstasy. I need the star shine of your heavenly eyes, after the day's sun."

He paused and put his hand is in pocket before speaking again.

"What I am trying to say Bella is.... will you marry me?"

He dove his hand into his pocket and opened it to reveal a gold ring with a beautiful diamond set on it. I suddenly realised that must have been why at times he had been acting so strangely, checking his pocket, why Ben had winked at him earlier in the day. It all became clear. Jasper had just spoken the most beautiful words I had ever heard, the words caused tears of happiness to fall freely down my cheeks. I was replaying his words in my mind for the second time when I realised I hadn't answered him yet.

"YES!" I practically screamed at him "Yes I will marry you Jasper. What you just said then was terribly sweet and I would be honoured to be your wife"

We kissed a long passionate kiss before he retrieved the item from under the rug. I had forgotten all about it with the shock of his proposal, but I was pleasantly surprised to see a bottle of homemade elderflower champagne and two glasses. We drank and enjoyed each other's company for what felt like an eternity before Jasper drove me back to the hospital.

As it was now dark he kindly drove me right up to the hospital entrance, where we leant over and kissed each other passionately. I told him I loved him and glanced at my engagement ring, Jasper smiled and said he would see me tomorrow. I gracefully got out of the car and shut the door before waving as Jasper drove away. I turned to walk in and had to stifle a scream as two inches in front of me stood Alice and Angela. They were wearing huge grins and seem to be unable to stand still, I looked at them feeling a little puzzled before Angela spoke.

"Did you say yes? Please tell me you said yes!"

"You knew?" I replied

"Of course I knew Bella! I've known since Ben told me this morning and I told Alice when I returned after lunch about half past 5 this afternoon. The suspense has been killing us Bella! Did you accept his offer?"

I smiled proudly as I replied

"Of course I did! Did you ever doubt that?"

I was immediately pulled into an embrace by two excitable squealing women. When Id managed to free myself we made our way upstairs. We sat on Angela's bed together and I recounted every single detail of my day, the castle, the lunch, the proposal and the elderflower champagne. Alice and Angela both cried joyous tears for me and congratulated me and then they began telling me about their days. After we had finished chatting I retired to my room. I undressed quickly and got into bed whilst staring at the beautiful piece of jewellery that decorated my ring finger. I fell asleep, almost immediately, exhausted after a long and exciting day.

I slept dreamlessly and woke at 6 the following morning to get ready for my morning shift. I wanted the shift to go quickly so I could spend time with my fiancé this afternoon. My heart skipped a beat as I thought the word fiancé. _My fiancé,_ It sounded so perfect yet so strange at the same time. It was definitely something I would have to get used to. I was still so shocked from the proposal, it felt like the most wonderful dream. I would need to stop pinching my skin, else I would soon be covered in bruises.

As usual Angela, Alice and I all walked downstairs together where we were joined by Nurse Hale. We received a brief handover of information from the night nurses and we told that Lance Corporal Cullen had been very uncooperative throughout the night. I thanked the night nurses and they went on their way. As Lance Corporal Cullen had been awkward during the night and I still had not introduced myself to him, I decided that I would take on the task of redressing his leg wounds. I informed the other three that they were more than capable of splitting the other jobs between them. Alice and Angela wandered off together to start their days work, while surprisingly Nurse Hale asked if she could speak with me in private for a moment. I managed to hide my shocked reaction and close the nurse's station door so we couldn't be over heard.

I smiled at Nurse Hale and she began to speak.

"I just wanted to say thank you for helping me with Pilot Davies the day before last. You were most supportive of me and I did not get chance to thank you properly" she smiled timidly.

I explained to Nurse Hale that I would always help her in any way I could, she just needed to ask. She left the room after thanking me again. I went to fetch a dressing tray for Mr Cullen as I was doing this I felt a little guilty, maybe I had judged Rosalie too soon, maybe she wasn't that bad. I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind as I got close to Lance Corporal Cullen's door. I knocked and called out that I was here to change the dressings on his legs and a voice prompted me to enter.

I was still holding my tray of clean bandages, scissors and tape plus countless other things I would need to clean and redress his wounds.

"Good morning Mr Cullen" I looked up from the tray directly into the eyes of a familiar face "Edward" I gasped my smile instantly disappeared and dropped my tray spilling the contents all over his floor.

"Oh for heaven's sake, I see they have sent me more idiotic staff barely capable of carrying out their job. Tell me young Lady with professionalism like that how exactly did you secure your job? Did you take the intimate route, with the one of the doctors perhaps? Maybe more than one of them? Because it is plain and easy to see you lack even the basic of skills" he shouted at me.

"And by the way, it is Lance Corporal Cullen not Mr Cullen or Edward. I did not complete several years of service in the army and fight in a war to be addressed as Mr. Perhaps you could try and retain that small piece of information, but then you are a woman, I shall not hold my breath" he seethed

He had obviously forgotten all about me since Whitechapel. Try as I might, I had never quite managed to forget about him. His beautiful copper hair, mesmerising emerald green eyes and his cheeky crooked smile, the fact I was forgotten so easily hurt me slightly. However the Edward I remembered, the man I had dreamt about was not the abusive and bad-mannered man laid before me in the bed. A strange feeling suddenly washed over me, I felt more than confident now, that I had made the right decision to pursue my relationship with Jasper instead of pining over Edward. I felt thankful that I had not chosen Edward. Edward, who had hidden his true colours very well in Whitechapel.

**So Bella is marrying Jasper! Poor Edward!**

**If you send me nice reviews you can have some more time with Edward, most likely at the weekend!**

**Magenta xx**


	10. Chapter 10

_**Twilight and its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer not me, however I belong to Edward!**_

_**Thanks to my amazing beta acacia6583, you should definitely check out her two stories!! **_

_**And thanks to Niki for being so wonderful!**_

_**I'm still getting over the heartbreak of "Remember Me" so my update is a little later than planned!**_

_**So Bella thinks Edward has forgotten all about her, let's see what he's got to say for himself!**_

Edward

After Nurse Brandon had left, I turned off the wireless. I had never liked Vera Lynn and her warbling voice, in fact her cheery optimistic songs irritated me greatly. I doubt she had even left the country yet alone seen the horrors of war. I much preferred Frank Sinatra, Tommy Dorsey and Glenn Miller. I sighed as I realised my sandwich was gone, my cup of tea finished and I was on my own. I was surprised to feel saddened that Nurse Brandon had retired to her own room. Recently it was a rarity for me to seek company especially from a Nurse, but today had been a long and desperately dull day and I would have appreciated a little company. After all Nurse Brandon was a nice young girl, who was a pleasant breath of fresh air.

After staring at the wall deep in thought for a few moments I suddenly remembered the books Nurse Brandon had bought me. I reach over to the bed side table and grabbed hold of them. There were five in total, three Agatha Christie novels and two by John Steinbeck. I had never read any Steinbeck but I must confess I am quite partial to a riveting Poirot tale, so I set about reading "The Mystery of the Blue Train." A few chapters in I became very drowsy and fell asleep very quickly indeed.

I was awoken the next morning by an unfamiliar timid nurse bringing me breakfast. She had also bought me a wooden table that fitted over my bed, so I could eat more comfortably. I did not speak to her but I nodded my head in thanks before she scurried out of the door. She looked very apprehensive; obviously the news of my fiery temper had spread quickly through the ward. I can't say I was saddened by this notion, if anything it gave me hope that the nurses wouldn't bother me unless it was completely necessary. I savoured every mouthful of my poached egg on toast then drank my cup of tea. Left on my tray was a glass of fruit juice and a juicy red apple, but I would save those for later, now it was time for me to spend a little more time with the great Hercule Poirot. I read another chapter before I happened to glance out of the French doors. The weather was glorious once again, it could barely have been 10 o clock yet the sun coming through my window was already so warm against my skin. The gardens were busy this morning, patients making the most of the sun with their visitors, as well as the off duty nurses. I noticed two women stood a short distance away from my room, I could see them smiling and laughing and animatedly chatting. My mind drifted as to what they could be so jolly about. I noticed they had stopped talking and one of them was cheerily waving, it suddenly dawned on me that she was waving at me. I took a moment to refocus my gaze, it was Nurse Brandon and she was gracefully moving closer to my room leaving the other woman behind. Now that Nurse Brandon had moved and the other woman had turned to face me she was easily identifiable as Nurse Webber. My gaze immediately switched focus as I stared intensely at the girl stood next to Nurse Webber. My heart was pounding as adrenaline surged through my body, I could not see the girl's face as she was looking in the opposite direction. All I could see was her long wavy brown hair and a red polka dot dress. I put my hand over my mouth to stifle the name I longed to shout aloud.

I watched as the girl in the polka dot dress walked across the grass until she disappeared from view. I then began internally berating myself. I was unbelievably angry with myself for getting so caught up in the moment.

"_As if that girl was Bella! Are you going to have this reaction to every girl you see in a red polka dot dress? You can't even remember her face... all you have is an entry in a journal you can't even remember writing! Those memories are lost forever... just let it drop now you bloody silly fool!"_

My self-scolding was interrupted by three loud knocks at the French doors; I looked up to see a very jolly looking Nurse Brandon waving at me.

She was wearing a black summer dress with little red flowers on it, in the hand with which she had knocked the door she carried a little red handbag and in the other a little bunch of flowers. She slowly opened the door a little and poked her head through the gap she had created.

"Good morning Lance Corporal" she chirped "I was wondering if you fancied a little company, you see my friends have gone out for the day and I'm frightfully bored."

She paused for a second as if recounting what she had said, before I could reply she spoke again.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! I did not mean to offend you when I said I was bored as if I had nothing more pleasurable to do but spend time with you. I just thought you.... I just thought you would like some company. You just looked so... lonely last night. Please tell me to go away if I have offended you. Oh I have, haven't I?" she blurted out. "Alice, what did your mother always tell you? You must remember to think before you speak!" she scolded herself.

I was fascinated that she had the ability to speak all of those words in one breath and I chuckled a little. She took that as an invitation to come in.

"They are not very masculine I know, but I picked you these lovely little posies from the garden. Perhaps they will help make your room look a bit more homely?"

I thanked her as she put them in my spare water glass, added a little water, and placed them on my windowsill. Flowers were not really my cup of tea, but it was the thought that counts. I felt determined to be agreeable and courteous to this thoughtful girl, no matter how hard it would be. It felt like an eternity ago that I was a pleasant and well mannered chap, but I promised myself I would try my best not to dismiss this possible chance at friendship. If the situation presented its self I would have to do my best to hold back my tantrums and control my rage, or face the daunting prospect of being a terribly lonely man.

"So Nurse Brandon, you are at a loss of what to do with yourself. May I ask where your companions have gone?"

She perched herself at the bottom left hand side of my bed facing the window, I noticed how gently she sat down to avoid hurting my legs. She looked at me before beginning to speak.

"Nurse Webber has gone to meet her fiancé and spend the day with him and her family, and Nurse Swan has also gone out with her gentleman friend. As I have no gentleman friend I am spending my day off alone"

I could not help but laugh when she stuck out her bottom lip while wearing a sad expression on her face. In the months since my accident laughing had become a foreign concept to me and it felt wonderfully good to be doing it again.

"Do you have a lady friend Lance Corporal?" she asked innocently

"No, unfortunately I do not. I have been in hospital for many months now and it is not the best place for meeting women" I chuckled

"Well I'm not sure about that Lance Corporal! There are plenty of nurses in a hospital are they not ladies?"

"You are right Nurse Brandon, but spending so much time off my feet in most uncomfortable beds has altered me. I'm no longer the care free person I used to be. I am being eaten up by self pity and bitterness and I more often than not I am rude and dreadfully uncouth. I am well aware these are not attractive qualities in a friend let alone a boyfriend. More often than not my nurses are quite rightly petrified to be in my company" I forced a smile while pondering why I was being so honest and open with a girl I only met yesterday.

"Ah, yes I have been hearing all about your wicked and hateful side. But try as I might I just cannot see it. Lonely yes, but wicked no!" she shook her head before continuing "You come across as a nice man to me Lance Corporal. Now enough of all this serious talk, what are your plans for today?"

"Thank you Nurse Brandon, it is very kind of you to say such things." I said softly, I think I may have even been a trifle embarrassed. I was about to continue when she interrupted me.

"I am not on duty today so please call me Alice. I find Nurse Brandon a little too formal. In fact as long as the matron or Nurse Swan aren't in ear shot you can call me Alice"

"Well... Alice, as you can see I'm stuck in this ghastly bed and I'm still in my pyjamas. After I was dressed I was hoping the nurses would wheel my bed out into the garden. It would feel extremely nice to be out in the open."

"Right then Lance Corporal Cullen let us set about getting you up and dressed. Then I will use my charm to get you in the garden"

I tried to protest, after all it was the girl's day off she should be out relaxing not helping me. I soon learnt that Alice was a very stubborn girl and once her mind was made up there was very little you could to modify it. She opened the wardrobe so I could choose some clothes then laid them out at the bottom of my bed, before closing my curtains for privacy. She then fetched me a big bowl of hot water, some soap, a flannel and a towel so I could wash. She said she would wait outside my bedroom door while I did this to respect my dignity and I was to call her when I was done. When I called her a few minutes later she came floating in carrying a fresh bowl of water and my shaving kit. While I shaved she tidied up and very gently helped me put some socks and some navy blue cotton trousers on. Pulling the trousers up was most challenging but we managed it. I finished doing up the buttons on my white shirt when she began to speak.

"Lance Corporal, do you still wish to spend some time in the garden?" she asked with a calculating grin on her face

"Yes, that would be most wonderful" I replied with obvious excitement in my voice "but your grin tells me there might be a catch"

"How adverse are you to trying new things?" she asked "it's just that I have used my feminine ways to persuade one of the doctors to help me try something out a little earlier than was originally planned. I honestly think you will like it, I really do" she looked like she was having a dreadfully hard time stopping herself jumping up and down with excitement. She positively skipped from the room into the corridor bringing back with her a nurse and a wheelchair.

"So what do you think? We could help you into here then you and I could go for a stroll around the grounds. I promise I will push you gently and be ever so mindful with your legs." She looked so hopeful and excited that it was impossible to turn down her offer, not to mention the great joy I found in the prospect of not being lain down for a while. So I agreed.

Under Alice's careful instruction they supported me to my feet, where for a few seconds I experienced the amazing feeling of actually bearing some of my body weight on my feet. It had been such a long time since I had been stood upright I had forgotten what it was like. I was then sat in the wheel chair ready to leave the confines of my room behind for a while.

As promised Alice gently moved me through the French doors outside into the gardens. We stopped on the paved path for a brief moment. She came and stood next to me, her short hair blowing in the slight breeze.

"Where to Lance Corporal? It is 11 o clock now, you have my undivided attention until around 5 this evening." She then pointed of to the left, behind the hospital "This way will take us to a shaded wooded area. Or if you would like we could follow the path around to the right where after a fair walk we will arrived at the lake. The choice is yours"

"I think I would rather appreciate sitting in the sun near the lake if it's all the same to you" I replied "Alice I would like to take the opportunity to ask you a favour if I may?"

She nodded.

"I would like you to call me Edward from now on please, that is if there is no one in ear shot. I would hate for you to get into trouble for not addressing me correctly and like you said we are not on duty and it is a little formal"

"You have made a good choice with the lake, it really is quite magnificent and I think you will like it Edward."

She walked back behind me and started to steer me down the path, the ride was gentle and was proving to be little or no discomfort to my legs. We walked in silence for a little way as I took in the sensation of being in a chair and being in the open. The warmth of the sun on my skin was utterly delightful and the smell of flowers and grass was truly divine. After about half an hour we arrived at the lake. Alice had been right it was magnificent. It was a big expanse of water with patches of reeds surrounding it, hovering above the water I could see vibrantly coloured dragon flies. On the water were a few ducks and dipping in and out of the reds were some little Moor hens. I looked behind me and the hospital was nowhere to be seen.

Alice and I were the only ones there and we chatted freely about trivial issues whilst welcoming the warmth of the sun on our skin.

"Edward I'm going to pop to the canteen and get us some lunch and a drink. I should be gone about half hour as I can walk faster than I can when I am pushing you. I don't want you to be bored so I took the liberty of bringing the book you were reading this morning, I hope you don't mind?" She handed me the book from her bag and took a few steps away from me before turning around and rushing back, she had her hand over her mouth and a shocked expression on her face.

"Oh Edward please forgive my rudeness! I didn't even consult you on the lunch plans; I just presumed you would want to eat out here. I am so sorry! I am happy to eat in the canteen with you if that is what you wish"

"Alice, I would love to eat out here, you cannot comprehend how good it feels to be outside when you have been stuck indoors for so long. I do not want to waste a minute of today indoors. But please don't feel you have to spend you day off with me, I do not wish to deprive you of your free time" I replied while staring at the floor, genuinely feeling guilty for burdening her on her day off.

"Don't be so silly Edward I came and knocked on your door didn't I? And like I said before I was frightfully bored and you were an easy boredom reliever"

I sighed, I knew deep down it was too good to have found a friend; after all I certainly didn't deserve one. I looked up at her feeling hurt and a little rejected.

"Edward Cullen you need to de-stress and find your sense of humour, I was joking!" she laughed

She skipped off to retrieve lunch.

She soon returned and after lunch the conversations continued. Around 4 o clock Alice said we needed to start heading back so she could make sure I was comfortable in my bed and she could meet Nurse Webber. On the journey back to the hospital I asked her why she had no boyfriend and she told me she was awfully picky and she was yet to find someone good enough for her. Her comment made me chuckle but my high spirits soon turned sombre when she returned the question to me. Although talking to Alice came easily to me, I did not feel quite comfortable to bare my soul and tell her I was waiting for a girl I could not remember. Instead I told her it was a long story meant for another day. Surprisingly she was quite excited by my comment and asked if we would be doing this again the next time the ladies deserted her, I did not hesitate with my answer and I told her it was the nicest day I had had in a long while and I was eagerly anticipating the next time.

Once back in my room Alice fetched another nurse and they carefully placed me on my bed. Alice dismissed the other nurse and meticulously checked I had everything I could possibly need until the morning. She had said her goodbyes and was about to leave when I called her back over,

"Alice... I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kindness today. It has been a long time since anyone has shown me such thoughtfulness and good will and it has been an equal amount of time since I have been able to accept actions like yours. I cannot express how truly grateful I am for your friendship. I hope I am not being to forward in assuming we are friends, but after today I would like to call you a friend, if I may?"

"Thank you, Edward that is most sweet of you. Please don't forget how much I have enjoyed your company today and rid yourself of the terrible notion that you are a burden, for you are anything but a burden. I would be truly honoured to call you my friend. Goodnight friend, I will see you tomorrow morning" she smiled and left.

In my present state of mind kindness did not come easily to me, but I was glad I had thanked Nurse Brandon and I meant every word I had said.

I set about reading some more of my book and listening to the wireless. For the first time in months I was high spirits and I was jolly well enjoying it. After dinner a nurse helped me into my pyjamas and told me the dressings on my legs would be changed in the morning. My high spirits deflated instantly, I despised having my dressings changed it was a dreadfully gruelling task that often caused me intolerable pain. I hoped it wouldn't be Nurse Brandon doing it, as I would never be able to hold my tongue and my rudeness was sure to ruin our new found friendship. The thought of ruining things crushed me a little and lowered my spirits even more.

I awoke in the morning in a foul mood. It had taken me a long time to fall asleep and when I had eventually managed it, I had been disturbed several times by the night nurse. I had been incredibly rude and nasty to her, but I could not help myself. I dreaded my weekly bandage changing, and after a short while the hospital staff would too. Shortly after I woke there was a knock at my door. I swallowed hard before calling out for the nurse to enter.

I had not seen the nurse who entered my room before; I was undeniably relieved that it was not Nurse Brandon. I presumed the pretty nurse in front of me was Nurse Swan, as she was the only one I who had not had the pleasure of meeting me yet. Nurse Swan was breathtakingly beautiful. She had long dark brown hair which was worn up in a bun, full lips, deep chocolate brown eyes and a captivating smile. But this did not alleviate her total lack of competence. No soon than she had walked through the door she had dropped the tray of equipment and supplies all over the floor, and she had had the outright audacity to address me as Mr Cullen she even went as far as to call me Edward. I was not about to settle for this so I began shouting at her.

"Oh for heaven's sake, I see they have sent me more idiotic staff barely capable of carrying out their job. Tell me young Lady with professionalism like that how exactly did you secure your job? Did you take the intimate route, with the one of the doctors perhaps? Maybe more than one of them? Because it is plain and easy to see you lack even the basic of skills"

She flinched at my nasty remark. A small part of me was sorry to see her beautiful smile disappear but I was just so angry with her that I continued to berate her.

"And by the way, it is Lance Corporal Cullen not Mr Cullen or Edward. I did not complete several years of service in the army and fight in a war to be addressed as Mr. Perhaps you could try and retain that small piece of information, but then you are a woman, I shall not hold my breath" I seethed

The girl looked quite dejected as she crouched down to start picking up everything she had dropped. Stupid, clumsy girl!

**AWWWWW don't hate on Alice, she is sweet and lovely!**

**As always I look forward to your reviews, next update will be around the mid-week mark providing RL doesn't get in the way**

**Magenta xx**


	11. Chapter 11

_**As always Twilight and its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer not me.**_

_**Thanks to my amazing beta acacia6583, you should definitely check out her two stories, one of which has sadly finished *sob* **_

_**And thanks to Niki, you truly rock girl!**_

_**I'm glad that you don't hate Alice, she is Edward's friend!**_

_**So is Bella going to take Edward's abuse lying down or will she stick up for herself??**_

_**It's going to get almost lemony towards the end, so Marcy I hope you enjoy! **_

**Bella **

I was desperate to avoid eye contact with him while he continued with his tongue lashing. In my short time as a nurse I had met many a ferocious soldier who had decided to release his temper upon me. Despite my past experiences, this situation was different and I was quite unsure of how to handle it. Normally I would be assertive with a bothersome patient; I would remain calm and polite whilst telling them I was not here to be trodden on. Before walking out of their room I could often be over heard using my Mum's favourite expression "If you have nothing nice to say, then please don't say anything at all." I would then follow up the remark with a sweet smile and declare I would be back to help when their spirits had lifted a little.

While in the moment, my demeanour often made little to no difference to the soldier's disdainful attitude or their fierce state of mind in fact sometimes my smile would give them cause to be even more aggravated. However in the long term, it showed them that their constant reprimanding and criticism failed to attain the reaction they sought and that their words that were intended to upset me had no effect at all. More often than not, once the performance was repeated a few times the men learnt to at least be civil sometimes even a courteous and likable patient.

This time the angry soldier's words hurt me deeply. I could not look at him fearing that I would start weeping. As I bent down to pick up the items I had accidently jettisoned from the tray I could feel his eyes angrily boring into me. The short silence between us was deafening, I took a deep breath in to compose myself before beginning to speak.

"I am so very sorry Lance Corporal. I wish I could tell you I wasn't always this clumsy, but I would be lying. It's just that you reminded me of someone I once knew and the notion startled me. I will get this cleaned up right away for you sir" I looked up at him as I spoke. It was most definitely Edward in front of me, only his eyes were no longer green but dark pools filled with bitterness and hate and his smile replaced with a scowl. The gentle and kind image of his face my mind secretly treasured was wrong, so wrong!

"I do not care for your silly excuses girl! Just get on and clean up then change these bandages."

As I began tidying it dawned on me that he was only upsetting me because I felt he should have recognised me. It was clear that he didn't and that I must have read something more into the evening we spent together. So thinking rationally there was no reason why I could not regard him as I would any other patient. I mustered up the courage to stop what I was doing, I stood up flattened out my apron and began.

"Lance Corporal Cullen I do not appreciate your tone or you down right rudeness. I am exceedingly good at my job and I have most certainly not been intimate with anyone to secure my position at this hospital. I find your remarks beastly and unwarranted." I said sternly.

Edward opened his mouth to interrupt me, but I continued with my speech and cut him off.

"I listened to your outburst without interrupting, it is only decent you extend the same courtesy to me" I scolded "I do not come to work to be degraded in this manner so I am going to leave now. I will return when you are in higher spirits. But until then please try and remember that if you haven't got anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all" I smiled sweetly.

Edward lay there looking utterly dumfounded as I left the room and closed the door behind me.

I was shocked that I had managed to hold my composure while talking to Edward for the moment I left the room it vanished. I leant with my back to his door; I do believe the door was the only thing stopping me from falling over. I closed my eyes and tried to stop shaking and calm my heavy breathing. I could hear him shouting and screaming angry obscenities about me and the fact I had had the nerve to leave his room without being dismissed. I'm ashamed to admit the sounds of his temper tantrum made me smile; I was dreadfully hurt by the fact he had forgotten me so easily yet feeling a trifle smug that I had had some effect on him. I thought back to last night when Alice had told me she had spent the most pleasant of days with Lance Corporal Cullen and she could not see why everyone disliked him so. I decided there and then either Alice had spent the day with another Lance Corporal Cullen or she had lost what few marbles she possessed and become totally daft.

I stood quietly for a fair few moments before opening my eyes to see Nurse Hale and Nurse Webber at the other end of the corridor walking toward me looking awfully concerned. I felt able to leave the support of the door behind me so I began to walk towards them slowly at first but as I felt more composed I quickened my pace.

"Nurse Webber, Nurse Hale. What on earth has happened to warrant the looks of apprehension and uneasiness that you are both wearing?" I asked in an urgent manner.

Nurse Hale was first to reply.

"What do you mean Nurse Swan? Nothing has happened to us to cause alarm. We are both more concerned with what has happened to you. Nurse Swan please do not take this out of turn, but you really do look ghastly. What on earth has happened?" she sounded genuinely worried as she spoke and it shocked me. I had always been quite sure that Nurse Hale cared for no one but herself, but I was seemingly wrong to assume this. Nurse Brandon appeared as if from nowhere and asked what the fuss was about. I briefly explained the situation that had occurred in Lance Corporal Cullen's room carefully leaving out the fact I had already met him and once upon a time had feelings for him. All three nurses offered to go in and finish the job I had attempted to start. I told them it was very kind of them to offer but it would not be very professional of me to let his temper bother me and that I had the situation in hand before dismissing them. When Nurse Brandon and Nurse Hale had left I whispered to Angela that I desperately needed to speak with her before we met with Ben and Jasper this evening, she was agreeable and noticeably anxious. Angela pulled me to her chest and held me for a moment before she hurried off down the corridor.

I was feeling completely in control of myself as I collected another tray of equipment to change Edward's dressings. As I approached his room I felt perfectly sure I was not going to get flustered and upset like before. I knocked before entering the room. Edward was sat on his bed scowling and obviously still angry.

"I see you are a woman of your word and you have come back to me" he said coldly. He appeared to be controlling his temper well but it was obvious he was not a happy man. I picked up the mess I had left on the floor before replying.

"Yes Lance Corporal I have returned and as we are both adults I feel we should put our little altercation behind us and start again. What are your thoughts?" I said pleasantly.

Edward said nothing as he continued to stare unhappily out of the window.

"Well, I am Nurse Swan. I apologise for the fact I have not chance to introduce myself sooner. I believe you have already met the three other nurses that work on my shift?"

He took a while before replying.

"Yes I have met them" he forced a smile before he continued in a bitter tone "There is little point in me introducing myself as you are already aware of who I am. But once again I will remind you I am a _Lance Corporal_ Cullen"

I forced a smile.

"Now we have dealt with the pleasantries Lance Corporal Cullen I am here to change the dressings on your lower legs." There was an obvious air of sarcasm to my voice when I said the word pleasantries.

Edward said nothing he barely even acknowledged that I was in the room with him. He pulled back the bed covers exposing his bandaged legs.

"I understand this procedure causes you quite a lot of discomfort so I have bought some pain relief tablets for you." I said as I offered him a glass of water and two little white tablets.

"No thank you" he replied while looking at me with absolute contempt.

"If you are sure you don't want them, then I will begin. I would like to assure you despite your... well... despite what happened this morning I will be as gentle and as quick as possible" I smiled before beginning.

I began by getting a bowl of tepid water and soaking his bandages. A lot of nurses did not do this, but in my experience this made them easier and less painful to remove. Edward watched me intently with a puzzled expression. I soon began unwinding the bandages. His distress was obvious, his knuckles turned white as he gripped the sides of the bed, his face wore a grimace and his eyes were tightly closed as he breathed through the pain. Soon all the material had been unwound leaving just the dressing pads over his shrapnel wounds. I once again wet them before slowly and delicately removing them as I was doing this Edward winced but seemed a lot less distressed.

All of Edward's shrapnel wounds were exposed now. There were 12 wounds in total all to the fronts of his legs, five on his left leg and seven on his right. Some of the lacerations were quite deep others not so, but it was frightfully obvious why they caused Edward so much pain. I could see plenty of little scars peppering his shins from injuries that had already healed.

"I'm please to tell you, Lance Corporal that your wounds are healing nicely with no sign of infection. I'm going to apply some iodine, which will smart a little, and then I will redress them. It shouldn't be too long now until they are completely healed"

Edward said nothing but looked at his legs and smiled. It was the beautiful crooked smile that I remembered so well, the smile that was truly irresistible. The smile made his eyes light up and I had to fight hard to stop myself from staring at him.

I gently finished Edward's legs before offering him my help to get up and ready for the day.

"I am certainly ready to get up, but I would like Nurse Brandon to assist me" his tone was very abrupt.

"Unfortunately Nurse Brandon is otherwise occupied"

"Well I suppose I will have to make do with you then" he replied sourly.

After helping Edward to wash and dress in silence he asked if he could use the wheelchair again, I nodded before leaving the room and returning with Alice and the wheelchair.

I saw an immediate improvement in Edward's moral as soon as Alice entered his room. His eyes instantly lit up and the tension dissolved from his face to be replaced by a smile. He was most courteous to Alice and they spoke like old friends. With Alice in the room the Edward that I knew had returned and I was lost in my thoughts, reminiscing about the night in Whitechapel. It was only when Alice asked me if I was going to help Lance Corporal Cullen move that I awoke from my daydream.

"Now you are in your chair where would you like to go Lance Corporal?" Alice chirped

"I would like to spend a little time reading in the garden if I may? Then after lunch perhaps pop down to the lounge or the games room, providing I will be of no inconvenience to you" he spoke warmly and kindly.

If I am to be honest with myself I did not care for the way he spoke to Alice. It made my frightfully jealous and angry. Why could he not be like that with me, like the Edward I had met and almost fallen in love with? I was ashamed to be thinking this, after all I was engaged to Jasper and I was more than happy about it. I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind. I made the bed while watching Alice push Edward through the doors into the garden, she bounced back in the room for a second to retrieve his book for him. I continued to watch them together, Alice was being her usual frolicsome and excitable self. I was not prepared for Edward's reaction to her though, he was howling with laughter at her, he looked so beautiful, his hair was shining in the sun and all the tension was gone from his handsome face. I felt more than a little miffed at this sight, but I shook it off after all in just a few short hours I was meeting Jasper. Tonight we were going to have dinner with my parents, they had not met Jasper yet and I was so very eager for them to meet. My parents were longing to see Angela again so I had invited her and Ben too. As I left his room Alice was knelt down on the grass speaking with Edward.

The shift was steadily passing without any drama; we were not busy but yet not idle. Alice had helped Edward into the lounge, which caused me to sigh with sadness and envy. I watched her teasing him and teaching him how to move around in the wheelchair unaided and again a feeling of acute melancholy washed over me. I had not realised until I felt a reassuring hand on my arm that Angela had been stood behind me for quite some time.

"Bella is everything alright? You have been standing here staring at Alice for a good deal of time now, you look upset. Has Alice upset you?" she said with concern

I could no longer hold back the tidal wave of emotion and I began to sob. Angela guided me to the nurse's station closing the door behind us. I briefly leant against the wall I quickly decided I was far too distressed to stand any longer and I slid down the wall. I sat and rested my head on my knees, my arms holding my legs tightly to my chest. Angela sat next to me putting her arm around my shoulders and pulling me close to her. We sat together for a short while without speaking as I tried desperately hard to regain my composure. There was a knock at the door, I didn't look up but I heard it open

"Hello Nurse Hale, is it important? It's just Nurse Swan is dealing with some issues right now" Angela said gently.

"Ummmm no it can wait. I'm so sorry to have intruded, Is everything ok Nurse Swan?" she asked. The concerned tone in her voice was obvious. I lifted my head to look at her and wiped my eyes. I tried to answer her but all I could muster up was a nod of my head and a sad smile.

"Nurse Swan just needs a few moments. Could you please hold the fort for us and see to it that we are not disturbed"

Nurse Hale nodded and Angela thanked her. Before she left the room she turned and warmly smiled at me.

"Oh Angela" I sobbed "I'm a terrible, terrible person, I shall go to hell I'm sure"

"Bella you are one of the kindest people I know, what could you have possibly done to condemn yourself to eternal damnation?"

"Its Lance Corporal Cullen" I choked out. She looked at me with a look of puzzled concern on her face. "He's Edward, from Whitechapel. The man that I thought I could of loved before Jasper."

"Bella I don't understand my dear, why does that mean you are a terrible person" she wiped a tear from my eye as she spoke.

"Because he has forgotten me and I am jealous of how he is around Alice. Oh poor Jasper, he deserves better than me!" I was aware I was really making little to no sense, so I inhaled deeply and prepared to explain myself.

"He was so frightfully mean to me today and it is quite obvious that he has forgotten all about me. Try as I might I have never been able to completely forget him. Yet he is warm-hearted and affectionate to Alice, which makes me feel so envious and saddened. I want him to behave in that manner with me, we have met before we should be friends surely? I am marrying Jasper and I love him dearly, so I have no right to feel this jealousy!"

"Oh Bella, you poor thing you're just being silly. You said it yourself you love Jasper not Edward. I'm sure you are just a little startled by the shock of seeing him again. With the exception of Alice, Lance Corporal Cullen treats all of us as he has treated you this morning, he is a wretched man." she paused for a moment "When I said he was a dashing chap and you needed to see him for yourself, I never dreamed it would cause this reaction"

I laughed, Angela was right I was being awfully silly and I must put a stop to the silliness immediately. There was a quiet knock at the door, Nurse Hale entered with a cup of tea, a few biscuits and a friendly smile.

"I thought you may be in need of this" she said as she passed me the cup. I thanked her and she left again.

After my drink I felt almost fully recovered and carried on with my shift. The time passed quickly and the shift soon finished. As I was leaving the ward to go upstairs I passed Edward sat in his wheelchair in the corridor. I could not help but notice the peculiar look he gave me, it was most odd, like anger, confusion and worry all mixed in one expression. I had walked roughly ten paces before I heard the velvety voice of _my_ Edward, not the uncouth and nasty Edward I had met earlier.

"Nurse Swan" he called and my heart skipped a beat. I turned around to see he was now facing me.

"Yes Lance Corporal Cullen, can I help you"

The silence was dreadfully awkward, he was looking at me very curiously and it felt as if a life time had passed before he spoke again.

"No. Actually I don't think you can Nurse Swan. Carry on with whatever it was you were about to do" he said matter of factly.

I was infuriated by his attitude, he had just dismissed me! I answered to the matron not him. I was just about to advise him to keep his thoughts to himself when Alice and Angela appeared reminding me I had only half hour before Jasper would be here.

Dinner had gone splendidly. My father had been out fishing and mother had cooked us the trout he had caught with some fresh vegetables. Angela and Ben were given hugs and kisses and invited in to the kitchen. Our home was a second home to Angela so she made Ben and herself comfortable on the heavy wooden bench belonging to the dining table. My mother had been excited to meet Jasper and greeted him with a hug and a kiss on his cheek. My father was a little more reserved observing matters from the sidelines for a while, before finding his feet and inciting an enormous debate on fishing techniques with Jasper and Ben. Which left us girls to converse about nursing and more importantly wedding plans, the kitchen was a happy and lively place and I felt in my element being there. After dinner my father bought out a few bottles of homemade raspberry wine which went down a treat with the apple crumble mother had baked. As the conversations and the revelry continued with the help of more wine, Jasper excused himself from the table.

"Isabella, would you care to show me the garden and perhaps partake in a little evening stroll?" Jasper gave me a cheeky smile that was cocked to one side and winked.

My mind, slowed by the alcohol, started to investigate all the possible reasons behind the wink. I felt my excitement grow, my heart race and my cheeks flush as I caught on to the meaning. I did my best to stifle an excited giggle as I stood up and we left the kitchen hand in hand. My mother and father were so deeply involved in a conversation with Ben and Angela I don't think they were aware we had made our departure from the table.

I positively skipped through the house to the garden pulling Jasper behind me. Once outside I came over all brave and pushed Jasper against the timber frame of the house and kissed him passionately, savouring his taste and manly scent. Jasper groaned as I pulled away from him and skipped back a few paces.

"So Mr Whitlock, your tour of the garden starts here. Directly in front of you with have the Victorian box hedging garden, built and meticulously maintained by my father" I teased

Jasper strolled up behind me; he put his strong arms around my waist and began gently kissing my neck.

"If we were to walk a little further down the path, maybe for five minutes or so we would arrive at the picturesque pond" I said playfully as I pulled myself away from his glorious kisses and giggled a little. Jasper took hold of my wrist and turned my body so we were facing each other

"Bella sometimes you can be so obtuse!" he chuckled "As beautiful as this garden is it is your beauty I am preoccupied with" his eyes wide with desire.

"Private Whitlock" I exclaimed "If you are going to take advantage of a young girl who is under the influence of alcohol, then perhaps you should consider the possibility of doing it away from the eyes of her parents"

I began to dash toward the pond where we would be out of site; I could hear Jasper following close behind me. As I got closer to the pond I turned to look at Jasper but my foot caught an exposed tree root and I stumbled. I braced myself for my impending collision with the grass but Jasper was closer than I thought he scooped me up in his arms, causing me to squeal. He cradled me like a baby as he walked past the pond towards the wooden summer house. When he reached the side of the summer house furthest away from my home he slowly sat down keeping his hold on me tight. I was sat on his lap when he began gently kissing my neck again, the pleasure I felt was breathtaking. I could feel my heart rate accelerate rapidly as Jasper moved his kisses to my lips. I could feel his tongue exploring my mouth, his one hand in my hair, his body reacting to mine in dramatic ways. I let a pleasurable moan escape my lips as Jasper's strong hand caressed my behind, causing him to breathe heavily. As my hands explored Jasper's body we changed positions and laid on the floor, we moved more quickly as the levels of passion increased.

Truly lost in the moment I began to unbutton his shirt and exposed his wondrous torso, as I ran my hands up and down his chest slowing to feel the few soft hairs on his chest I was able to feel his heart pounding through his ribcage. Jasper's hand began to slide smoothly over my legs; he hesitated a little before his hand proceeded under my skirt and along my thigh slowly making its way back to my behind. All too soon he removed his hand to cradle my face briefly before his hand moved to my bust. I gasped as he undid one of the buttons on my red blouse; he instantly stopped and moved his hand back to my face. I tore my hand away from his muscular chest and used it to move his hand from my face back to my blouse. I could feel him smile through his kisses as he undid a few more buttons on my blouse, he groaned as he exposed my black lace bra. He paused a little before continuing to explore my body his had moving over the naked skin of my back and stomach stopping just underneath my breasts. I knew this was risqué behaviour and seriously frowned upon, but I also knew what Jasper wanted because I wanted it too. This was the closest I have ever been with Jasper, or any man for that matter, and it was a sensational experience and I had no desire for it to end just yet.

"It's ok Jasper, I love you and I want you too" I whispered seductively in his ear.

Jasper's kisses grew softer and more sensual as his one hand worked slowly down from my neck toward my breasts. He gently cupped my left breast in his hand and caressed it softly, is thumb worked circles around my nipple. The sensation was truly amazing, better than anything I had ever felt before and my fingernails dug into his back as I moaned breathlessly.

Jasper stopped abruptly, his whole body tensed.

"Listen!" he said short of breath.

In the distance I could hear what he had heard, it was Angela calling my name. I panicked Jasper and I could not be discovered in this state of undress, not even by my best friend. We promptly got up and dressed, quickly buttoning and straightening out clothes, which was a jolly difficult task to master when you're shaking with laughter. I did my best to smooth out my hair and calm my breathing. Jasper and I began sauntering towards the house getting closer to Angela, as if we had just been on an evening stroll. We entered the house laughing and play fighting; anything was preferable to a guilty expression. We said our goodbyes to my parents before heading back to the hospital. Jasper opened the car door for me and gave me a kiss. Before he left for the evening I whispered in his ear that he excelled in the field of being a naughty boy and he gave me my favourite cocky smile in reply.

**OK OK, I know no full lemon yet, but you have got to bear in mind that sex before marriage was a big no no in the 1940's, however it did happen! So stay tuned.**

**I hope you like the update, if you leave me nice reviews the next chapter will be from Edward and he will explain his feelings a little clearer!**

**Ooh and happy birthday for tomorrow Susan xx**

**Magenta xx**


	12. Chapter 12

_**As always Twilight and its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer not me.**_

_**My beta acacia6583 totally rocks and has just updated the new chapter of Consumed by Fire, you guys should def check it out!!**_

_**Niki, as always you are wonderful!**_

_**I meant to update yesterday but RL got in the way AGAIN!!!!! **_

Edward

The incompetent and clumsy nurse I presumed to be Nurse Swan bent down in front of me to pick up the things she had dropped. I could see her delicate hands shake causing her to lose her grip and drop them again; the frustration this caused her was more than obvious. As if she could feel me staring at her, she lifted pretty little face to speak to me. Her deep brown eyes were filling with tears as she spoke her apologies.

"I do not care for your silly excuses girl! Just get on and clean up then change these bandages." I bellowed.

She looked at me for a second before bending down and starting to clear away once more. In that brief moment she looked so vulnerable, the tears her eyes had filled with were threatening to over flow. She bit her bottom lip as it began to quiver, making her look so sweet and innocent. I felt a surge of overwhelming guilt wash over me because my harsh words had upset such a beautiful creature? She was undeserving of the nasty barrage I had unleashed upon her. Since I was injured I was ruled by my temper, I often felt such rage that I could not stop myself from vocalising my thoughts on undeserving victims. I am unsure why found it difficult to tear my eyes away from Nurse Swan, but try as I might I could not avert my gaze. I watched as she stood up and brushed her apron and I noticed her facial expression had changed. She no longer appeared on the verge of weeping, her eyes were bright and her expression confident and stern, she opened her mouth to speak.

"Lance Corporal Cullen I do not appreciate your tone or you down right rudeness. I am exceedingly good at my job and I have most certainly not been intimate with anyone to secure my position at this hospital. I find your remarks beastly and unwarranted."

The guilt I had been feeling dissipated immediately to be replaced by absolute outrage. The girl was nothing but a nurse, a clumsy one at that, how dare she speak to me, a Lance Corporal, like that. I was aware of the rage building up inside of me, eager to escape and reprimand her. My mouth opened instinctively readying its self to speak; she noticed but continued with her tantrum.

"I listened to your outburst without interrupting, it is only decent you extend the same courtesy to me. I do not come to work to be degraded in this manner so I am going to leave now. I will return when you are in higher spirits. But until then please try and remember that if you haven't got anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all" She smiled and with that left the room closing the door gently behind her.

I was more than angry now, a few short moments ago I was going to apologise for my rudeness, now I felt she more than deserved the telling off I had given her. The way I had just been spoken to was downright rotten and more than a little inappropriate. I am a man of status for heaven's sake, a Lance Corporal none the less, I was not about to be spoken to like this by a poxy nurse. If she returned she was going to receive the full wrath of my tongue, I would make sure she never dared speak to me like that again. Without even realising it my temper had run away with my tongue yet again and I was bellowing insults and obscenities at the closed door hoping she could hear me. After I had exhausted all the insults I could muster up I lay quietly on my bed still seeing red. I began breathing through the anger and calmed myself a little.

There was a knock at the door and Nurse Swan entered looking calm and confident. I was most proud to be able to control my temper as we exchanged a few words. She introduced herself as Nurse Swan and I sarcastically reminded her that I was Lance Corporal Cullen.

"Now we have dealt with the pleasantries Lance Corporal Cullen I am here to change the dressings on your lower legs." She was bold and sarcastic in her reply.

I was definitely not used to a nurse standing up for herself like Nurse Swan was doing, most nurses would apologise profusely before becoming distressed and emotional then finally sobbing. If I am honest with myself, although I would never tell her, I admired and respected her ability to defend herself and her conduct. I would also never tell her that she was even more beautiful when she was flustered.

Before starting to remove the dressing on my legs she offered me some painkillers, explaining that she knew the procedure caused me great pain. I felt touched by her kindness but I did not wish for her to know this so I turned down the offer with a cold tone to my voice coupled with a look of extreme distaste. Taking the tablets would have eased the pain I was about to endure considerably, but the pain was a valuable reminder of my foolish actions in the battlefield and the girl I had lost from my memory.

Nurse Swan showed further compassion by soaking my bandages before gently removing them. Only a handful of nurses had ever soaked my bandages before. Most preferred to inflict as much pain on me as possible and quite rightly too, I had been awfully rude to each and every one of them. Due to Nurse Swan's kind actions the discomfort I felt was a mere shadow of the terrible pain I had experienced on previous occasions.

As she leant over me to examine the damage to my legs, I caught the smell of her perfume and inhaled deeply. Her scent was divine causing my mouth to water a little. The smell was familiar to me it but I could not place it, it forced strong feelings of joy and infatuation to wash over me. I wished to pull Nurse Swan into an embrace and inhale her deeply. The sensations caused by her aroma puzzled me, I was utterly confused as to why I was feeling like this, I was a rational chap and these were most irrational thoughts. Nurse Swan spoke pulling me from my reverie.

"I'm pleased to tell you, Lance Corporal that your wounds are healing nicely with no sign of infection. I'm going to apply some iodine, which will smart a little, and then I will redress them. It shouldn't be too long now until they are completely healed" she said gently.

I could not help the smile that spread across my face at the sound of the good news. It felt as if I had been bandaged up for an eternity and I was eagerly anticipating the day when the dressings were no longer necessary. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Nurse Swan trying her best not to smile at me, she was unsuccessfully trying to stop her mouth from turning up at the corners by biting her bottom lip. The window was behind her bathing her in the September sun, she looked like a beautiful angel. In that moment she looked so familiar, I pondered the thought that we had met before but quickly dismissed it as I had never visited Shrewsbury before and I was unlikely to forget a face as pretty as hers.

After delicately redressing my legs she offered me her help to get washed and dressed, I replied without thinking making an abrupt remark about wanting Nurse Brandon's assistance. She was clearly a little taken aback by my comment and foolishly I rubbed salt in her wounds by informing her that I would make do with her help. If my legs had not been so damned uncomfortable I would have kicked myself for my unnecessary attitude. I asked Nurse Swan if I could use the wheelchair again today and she disappeared and promptly returned with Nurse Brandon and the wheelchair.

I warmly greeted Nurse Brandon and we chatted briefly I was transferred to the wheelchair. Nurse Brandon asked me what I wished to do this morning and I quickly replied

"I would like to spend a little time reading in the garden if I may? Then after lunch perhaps pop down to the lounge or the games room, providing I will be of no inconvenience to you?" I spoke with a smile and she obliged, returning my smile.

Once we were in the garden Nurse Brandon skipped back to my room to retrieve my book for me. When she returned I thanked her, before informing her I had some good news to share. She became very excited at this notion shifting her weight swiftly from one foot to the other. I found Nurse Brandon's excitability one of her most endearing qualities.

"Oh do tell Edward! I like to hear good news" she spoke quickly

"Nurse Swan has just informed me that it will not be long until my legs are completely healed. To say I am over the moon is an understatement. I cannot wait to be up and about again, enjoying my freedom once more"

With this Alice began to chuckle and informed me we could take up ballroom dancing together before starting to dance around my chair in the most ridiculous manner. I roared with laughter at her tomfoolery, I thoroughly appreciated the way that she could make me laugh and once again felt thankful for her company.

After she had finished waltzing she knelt down next to my chair and explained that she was at a loss of things to do after her shift had finished. She went on to ask if I would like to explore some more of the grounds with her. I quickly accepted her offer before she disappeared inside the hospital.

I spent the rest of the morning relaxing in the garden, it really was a beautifully calming place. The large green lawns were surrounded by tall trees and lovely flower beds, the occasional bench placed here and there. I had managed to finish reading the Poirot novel and I was busy pondering my curious reactions to Nurse Swan, when a hand was placed on my shoulder making me jump with fright. I turned quickly to see Alice smiling at me.

"Hello again" she said "You appeared very deep in thought then Edward. I am happy to lend you an ear if you wish to share your troubles"

"It is very kind of you to offer Alice, but I fear if I started sharing my troubles you would be listening for a great deal of time" I smiled.

"Well the offer is always open. I have bought you out some lunch. Today it is vegetable soup and bread, I hope you enjoy it!" she said while handing me the lunch tray. "I must dash Edward, but I will return shortly to help you into the lounge"

I thoroughly enjoyed my soup and as promised Alice returned and helped me to the lounge. The lounge was a long room, the wall directly in front of the door was home to six full length windows. The sunlight the windows let in made the room bright and inviting. Around the edges of the room were around ten leather armchairs, a few of them complete with sleeping patients. At the very bottom of the room was a piano, sat on top of it was gramophone quietly playing some jazz tunes.

Alice told me she had a few minutes to spare and she began to teach me how to use my wheelchair to get around on my own. Moving back and forth was easy however turning in tight spaces and moving around obstacles was more of a challenge. I continued to practice after Alice had left, my mobility had improved tenfold and I was now pretty competent in my chair. I was practicing in the corridor when I noticed Nurse Swan. She was walking without purpose, as she got closer my earlier feeling that I was somehow familiar with her returned. This time the feeling was coupled with a strong desire to love this girl and to have her love me back. I stared at her intently as she passed, trying to unsuccessfully place her face. I decided to just come right out and ask her.

"Nurse Swan" I called pleasantly after her.

"Yes Lance Corporal Cullen, can I help you?" she replied.

It was only when she turned to face me that I noticed her eyes were swollen and red as if she had spent a good deal of time crying. What had happened? Had she been hurt? I could feel the panic building up in my chest. Had someone hurt her? Had I hurt her? The possibility that my behaviour was behind her sadness gripped at my stomach twisting it into knots. She stood in front of me so obviously in need of comfort; it bothered me deeply to see her like this. I felt a strong desire to scoop her up in my arms and protect her, making sure no one could ever hurt her again.

I had only just met this girl and I had been quite horrible to her so I was more than confused as to why I should be feeling like this. Perhaps my head injury had had more effect on me than I had first thought, maybe I was starting to lose my marbles and slipping into the realms of insanity. The most rational explanation was that I was indeed going mad and I would only make a fool of myself if I asked her if we had ever met. All this confusion was giving me a headache and making me very frustrated.

"No. Actually I don't think you can Nurse Swan. Carry on with whatever it was you were about to do" I replied, my frustrations made my tone more blunt than I had intended. Alice and Nurse Webber then appeared reminding Nurse Swan she had some where to be. I watched Nurse Swan as she climbed the staircase until she was out of view and then began making my way back to my room.

I had been in my room for around half hour when there was a knock on the door and Alice entered. She was wearing a calf length dark green pleated skirt and a very flattering black long sleeved blouse. She looked quite the picture of loveliness. I had grown very fond of Alice, not in a romantic way but in a sisterly fashion. I had been bought up as an only child and had often wondered what having siblings would have been like.

Alice suggested we went for a stroll around the gardens before resting by the lake for a while.

"That would be wonderful Alice" I smiled as I replied and we set off.

As we made our way through the gardens Alice spoke of growing up in Birmingham and the contrasts between city life and the rural surroundings of Shrewsbury. I learnt that Alice too was an only child and that she was also an orphan, bought up by her grandma in Edgbaston. She spoke of how her parents had died when she was a little girl and how she worried about her memories fading.

"I remember very little of them" she smiled sadly.

I could sympathise with the idea of disappearing memories. I spoke of growing up in Enfield. I told her I was the only son of Carlisle and Esme Cullen.

"My father was a well off business man who was very proud to have his son join the army and fight for his country. My mother on the other hand was more apprehensive about the idea fearing I would get hurt or killed as so many of my friends had been. She sobbed for days when I told her my decision was final and she could not change my mind. We were a close family and I miss their company dearly. It is hard for me to be so far away from them, but they assured me they will visit soon" I smiled at the thought of their visit.

Alice stopped and sat down on a wooden bench under the shade of an enormous oak tree. I manoeuvred myself to the end of the bench.

"If I had listened to my mother then I would not be in this mess. I would be able to walk and bask in the freedom of living an independent life, free of hospitals, bandages and wheelchairs." My tone was sombre as I slapped the side of my chair and sighed. "But if my circumstances had been different I would have never met you dear Alice. I know we have only known each other for a short while but you have become a wonderful friend to me, I look upon you as the sister I never had" I looked her deep in the eyes as I spoke to assure her of my sincerity.

"Edward that is very kind of you, you should know that I am very fond of you too. I do not believe for one second that you are the wicked man you sometimes portray yourself as. In fact I think you are a very kind-hearted and generous gentleman driven mad by frustration." She said softly.

"Perhaps you are right Alice, but I am unsure if I can be the man I was before this happened" I said while pointing at my legs. "Take my behaviour this morning towards Nurse Swan, she did not deserve such a telling off but I could not help it. The anger and the stupidity I feel because of my accident rules and torments me Alice, and it makes me a sad and very lonely man" my voice was barely a whisper.

Alice reached out and took my hand in hers to comfort me.

"Edward, what happened to you? I wish to understand your pain and anguish, please tell me" she pleaded.

"I have never told anyone about my accident, and I don't want people to know about it as it causes me a lot of shame. If I am to tell you, you must promise to tell no one, not Nurse Swan or Nurse Webber, no one."

"I promise Edward" she said truthfully.

I began to tell her about the night in Whitechapel before I went off to fight and about the girl I had met. How I could not shake the image of this woman from my mind, how the thought of her made fighting more tolerable. I paused before continuing, I found it dreadfully difficult to speak of my accident. Alice squeezed my hand and gave me an encouraging smile and I continued.

"I was in the middle of combat, when I saw her step out into the line of fire. My mind was not functioning properly all I could think about was saving my girl. I ran into no-man's land risking my life to reach her. When I finally got close to her it was obvious to me that she was not the girl from Whitechapel and there was no possible way it ever could have been. I pushed her out of the way as a mortar exploded next to us. The blast pushed me on top of her, allowing her to escape uninjured and leaving me in hospital." I explained

"Can you now see why I am so bitter and hateful? I did this to myself, I have no one to blame except myself and my damned stupidity. I risked my life and the lives of the men who rescued me for a girl who I spent one evening with and I will never see again." My voice broke as I spoke; I was fighting a losing battle against my emotions. "The worst of it is that I think I loved this girl, but my knock to the head means I cannot even remember her face" the tears began rolling down my cheeks.

Alice moved from the bench and held me tightly.

"Oh Edward, don't cry." She spoke softly "You have nothing to feel stupid about, what you did was brave and valiant, you saved an innocent girls life!"

I took a few moments to compose myself before apologising for crying explaining it was not a very masculine thing to do. Alice smiled and squeezed my hand once more.

"Does the girl from Whitechapel have a name Edward?"

"Yes she does but it does not matter as I know I shall never find her." I sighed and bowed my head "Knowing that I will never see her again is driving me mad Alice, I do not wish to spend the rest of my life alone, but it is her that I want, no one else will even come close to her. My heart belongs to her and losing her has left me broken"

I looked at Alice to see her wiping away tears of her own.

"I wish I could take away your pain Edward, I really do!" she sniffed "Perhaps after you have been discharged you could return to Whitechapel to find her?"

We sat in silence for a moment before I spoke again.

"Alice, you have already told me you are unattached but I was wondering if there has ever been anyone special in your life?"

Alice hesitated before drawing in a deep breath.

"Yes there had been, but like the girl you love I will never see him again" she sounded heartbroken as she spoke. Her distress was obvious as she continued with her story. She told me how she had grown up with a boy named Demetri, he had moved next door to her from Italy when they were both 3. She described how they had been the best of friends and totally inseparable before becoming sweethearts when they were 16. She went on to tell me how when Demetri was 18 his health began to deteriorate. He suffered from many chronic chest infections making him weaker and weaker until he was confined to his bed. Alice nursed him for many months until in May 1938, shortly before her 19th birthday he contracted pneumonia and died in her arms. I held her tight as she violently sobbed, shaking my chair, my hand rubbing comforting circles on her back. After a while she spoke with her head still on my chest.

"I really miss him Edward, my heart aches with every beat" she spoke quietly "It was because of him that I became a nurse, so I could save people."

"That is a very noble thing to do and I'm sure he would be so very proud of you. I had no idea you were troubled by this you are always so cheerful and happy"

Alice sat up taking her head from my chest and wiped her eyes.

"Demetri would have wanted me to be happy; he would be devastated to see me so upset. I promised him I would carry on without him and do my best to be happy and enjoy myself. It has been two years now" She snivelled and sighed before continuing in a braver manner forcing cheeriness into her voice "So I do my best for him and it helps that no one here knows about him. One day maybe I will be able to move on, but I doubt it as he was my soul mate."

We sat under the oak tree for a while in silence, we held hands for comfort. The sun gradually began to set and the sky darkened. We made the decision so make our way back to the hospital.

"I'm so sorry we haven't had more fun today Edward, I did not intend for the afternoon to be a sad one. Having said that though it is nice to be able to share my feelings with someone and I'm grateful that you listened."

"As am I Alice, as am I. We will enjoy ourselves more next time, I promise"

Alice was about to get some help to transfer me on to my bed, when I stopped her.

"Do you think we could try it without extra help? My legs feel much stronger I think I could stand for a short time"

Alice looked concerned she obviously had reservations about my idea. I flashed her my best smile and a chuckle escaped her mouth.

"I suppose so, but only if you're sure" she replied.

I nodded, for I was very sure. It would be one step closer to regaining the independence that I craved so much. Alice positioned me alongside the bed, I put my one arm flat on the bed while Alice linked her arm with my other one holding it tightly. She slowly began helping me stand, I was a little wobbly but I was stood up on my own two feet. I could feel the smile spreading across my face despite the discomfort I was feeling as my legs protested about weight bearing.

"Are you ok Edward?" she asked

"I'm more than ok, look at me I'm standing" I replied

"I'm going to move the wheelchair from behind you now and then we are going to take a step backwards so you can sit on your bed"

The whole manoeuvre went swimmingly and I could not contain my happiness, I was feeling utterly euphoric. Alice stood at the side of my bed smiling at me.

"You look awfully smug Lance Corporal Cullen and quite rightly too, I'm very proud of you!" she exclaimed. "I must retire to my room now, I have some studying to do and I'm working first thing in the morning again. We can practice this again tomorrow if you would like."

"I would love to Alice" I replied.

She said goodnight before placing a soft kiss on my forehead and thanking me for my compassion today. Once on my own I thought over the events of the afternoon feeling acute sorrow for Alice. It had felt surprisingly positive to share my troubles with her, yet at the same time it had caused my desperate yearning for Bella to come to the forefront of my mind again. I reached for my diary and read the passage that I had committed to memory, once more in hope that I would remember something else about Bella. After a while I gave up feeling totally defeated. I picked up another one of the Poirot books Alice had bought and began reading. Alice had left the French doors open for me to enjoy the breeze and I was disrupted by the sounds of a car pulling up and I could hear two ladies laughing. Car doors slammed and I could just make out the sounds of two happy but slightly drunk voices, it was Nurse Webber and Nurse Swan. The fact that had been out enjoying themselves, while Nurse Brandon was suffering angered me slightly. What sort of friends were they to leave her in her time of need? I reminded myself that they knew nothing of Alice's pain and that they weren't to be blamed.

The feeling of having met Nurse Swan before once more returned, I thought back to when she was so distressed earlier today and my stomach churned. I sincerely hoped that it was not me that had caused her to shed tears and made her pretty face look so glum. I felt disgusted at the thought of her being in the company of a man who was supplying her with alcohol. If she were mine I would not treat her that way, I would treat her as a queen, showering her in love and affection, supplying her with tender kisses not alcohol. I reminded myself that I was being irrational and that I had no right to control Nurse Swan's affairs, after all my heart belonged to Bella. I thought about Bella once more and I began feeling a deep resentment towards Nurse Swan for having this effect on me for making me betray _my Bella_.

**AWWWW poor Alice, poor Edward **

**Let me know what you think guys**

**Magenta xx**


	13. Chapter 13

_**As always Twilight and its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer not me, but the day will come when I own Edward!!!**_

_**Thanks for all your lovely reviews, without them I would have given up long ago! **_

_**Loads of love and thanks to my beta acacia6583 and to Niki.**_

_**I have updated earlier to help Miss Cobban on her road to recovery! **_

**Bella**

I lay in bed finding it dreadfully difficult to fall asleep as I began to replay the events of the afternoon in my head. I was delighted that my parents approved of Jasper and that they got on so well. They also seemed fond of Ben, which would no doubt please Angela. But it was not these thoughts preventing me from nodding off; it was the thoughts of Jasper. As I lay in the dark I was unable to stop the grin spreading across my face as I thought of us both next to the summer house. I was well aware of the fact that our conduct was not deemed proper behaviour and we would have been in vast amounts of trouble if we were caught, but that just made it all the more exciting. The thought of Jaspers kisses and his warm hand on my bare skin sent shudders through my body. I drifted off to sleep imagining what could have been if Angela hadn't called out for me.

The following morning I walked downstairs with Angela and Alice as usual, still feeling overjoyed and not able to stop myself smiling. My obvious happiness was causing quite a stir; I had already received the "you will most definitely tell me what has happened" look from Angela and Alice. I merrily greeted the night nurse and received a queer look and a friendly comment about being too bright and cheerful this early in the morning. Nurse Hale appeared to be back to her usual self and was leaning against the wall staring nonchalantly through the door way. She did not even take the time to greet us as we stood next to her in the nurse's station, let alone notice my high spirits. After a brief discussion about today's duties we set about our jobs. Alice and Nurse Hale were working as a team on bathing duty and Angela and I would be helping the soldiers who, due to differing circumstances were unable to bathe. After making sure that I felt comfortable to deal with Edward this morning, Angela headed to Pilot Davies's room. I was most certain that nothing could ruin my Jasper induced high, not even my former feelings for Edward.

I was humming a tune as I skipped up to Edward's door. I knocked and waited for him to invite me in. When I entered I found him laid in bed with his wireless on and reading a book.

"Good Morning Lance Corporal" I chirped as I practically danced round his bed to draw back the curtains. "How are you feeling this morning?"

He ran his fingers through his tousled copper hair before exhaling sharply and looking at me strangely.

"I am feeling good thank you, but it appears I am not feeling as good as you Nurse Swan." He said with a chuckle "Have you received some good news?" he questioned

"That is for me to know and you to find out" I said playfully, secretly relishing in the fact that Edward appeared in high spirits.

"Hmmm, I wonder if Nurse Brandon will fill me in when I see her next?" he smiled a lopsided smile as he looked at me.

I walked from the window to Edward's Wardrobe and began riffling through his clothes, showing him outfits for the day, he nodded his head when I pulled out the black trousers and navy blue shirt.

"Nurse Brandon will do nothing of the sort Lance Corporal. She knows nothing of the reasons behind my happiness, and if you are planning to interrogate her then I had best keep it that way" I teased.

His face was a picture of handsomeness, just like the image of him my mind had cherished in the past. His green eyes were shining brightly and he was smiling, I could not help but stare at him he was utterly dazzling. So dazzling that I managed to completely lose my balance while walking the short distance from the wardrobe to his bed, I tripped, falling forwards towards him. I landed on top of the clothes I had been carrying, the top half of my body slumped across his chest and braced myself for his telling off and onslaught of insults. The little voice inside my head was already scolding me for my clumsiness, everything had been going so smoothly between us, I was enjoying the banter and Edward appeared to feel the same. But now I have gone and ruined it. Edward began to vibrate roughly underneath me, I began to panic and feel dreadfully frightened. I slowly picked myself up to realise that my fear had been misplaced, Edward was laughing. He was laughing so hard he barely made a sound but tears were streaming down his face as his body continued to vibrate. It was a lovely sight to see but I was most confused, I really had expected a damn good telling off for my carelessness, I stared at him for a moment with a puzzled look on my face.

"Nurse Swan are you ok? You look a trifle confused" he managed to say in between laughing fits.

"Well that would be because I am confused. Are you going to... what I mean to say is why are you not shouting at me?" I said timidly

"Nurse Swan that was one of the most amusing things I have seen in quite some time" he said still chuckling

"So you are not mad at me?" I questioned.

He stopped laughing instantly and his face became serious he sighed before beginning to speak

"I'm not a complete ogre; I do have a sense of humour! But I can forgive you for thinking that I am" he spoke quietly with an obvious air of sadness to his voice.

"I know perfectly well that you are not an ogre Lance Corporal" I replied confidently thinking back to the evening in Whitechapel. As rude as Edward had been yesterday, I did not like to see him sad.

"You seem very sure of yourself. Maybe I will reprimand you? Perhaps I should even go as far as to discipline you for your clumsiness?" he cocked his eyebrow as he spoke.

His reply was mischievous and I let out a giggle of embarrassment as I felt my cheeks blush red. It was an enormous relief to know I had not angered him. I was delighted that the friendly conversation continued as I helped Edward to get ready for the day. I explained to Edward that I would fetch another nurse to assist him into his chair when he grabbed a hold of my wrist to stop me, I gasped, he quickly let go.

"I'm sorry that was inappropriate, I didn't hurt you did I?" he asked apologetically.

I shook my head and smiled.

"No, you just took me by surprise that's all"

"Last night, I managed to stand with just the help of Nurse Brandon. If it is ok with you I would like to try that again"

I nodded and positioned myself next to him. As I linked my arm with his, I tried desperately to ignore the feeling of his breath on my neck and the warmth of his body against mine. I tried to focus on helping him stand instead of how lovely he smelt. Thankfully Edward spoke breaking my chain of thought.

"You see Nurse Swan, I am stood up and I'm a damned sight more stable than last time I did this!" he exclaimed. He removed his hand from the mattress taking hold of the arm of the wheelchair, before taking a small step toward the chair and gracefully sitting down.

I took a step backwards in amazement before I spoke.

"Bravo Lance Corporal, Bravo!" I clapped my hands "That is quite an achievement; if I'm honest I am shocked at your progress. I was not expecting you to be able to do that for a few weeks yet."

"Thank you" he said as I knelt down in front of his chair.

"I have some duties I need to attend to this morning, however I am free after lunch. How would you feel about doing some standing exercises?" I asked "Of course I would be here to help you with them"

"I would like that a lot Nurse Swan" his eyes lit up as he spoke. He was about to continue when there was a knock on the door, without waiting for an answer Nurse Hale stormed in sporting a very sour look on her face.

"Nurse Swan, You must come now! You have a Visitor" she stared impatiently at me tapping her one foot.

"Nurse Hale! I am shocked at your abruptness, you should never just burst into a room like you have just done!" I said very sternly "And whoever this visitor is they will have to wait until I have finished helping Lance Corporal Cullen"

"I'm sorry Nurse Swan, but Lance Corporal Cullen will have to wait, you _need_ to come and see the visitor now!" her tone was harsh and impatient.

I was getting frightfully annoyed with Nurse Hale now and I was fighting to keep my temper under control, out of the corner of my eye I could see Edward looking concerned.

"Look, unless it is King George, Winston Churchill or the Pope, I'm certain they will not mind waiting for five minutes!" I yelled. I could hear Edward sniggering next to me. I looked up at him as Nurse Hale began to speak once more.

"It is your Fiancé, Nurse Swan. He is frightfully upset about something and causing a scene in the entrance hall" as she spoke Edward's face dropped "He is refusing to leave until he has spoken with you!"

The news was more than a little alarming; I placed my hand on Edward's arm and calmly made my apologies then assured I would be back after lunch before calmly walking out of the room. Before heading down to Jasper I calmly but sternly told off Nurse Hale for her rudeness in front of a man who has an obvious objection to the nursing staff. She did not take too kindly to this and gave me a look of absolute contempt before proceeding to storm off down the corridor. I did not have time to deal with Nurse Hale's lack of professionalism at the moment, my priority was Jasper. If he truly was causing a scene then I was most glad the matron was away for two days, as it would be my job on the line.

I could hear Jasper shouting before I was even close to the entrance hall. When I entered I stood back for a moment allowing myself to take in the situation that was unfolding around me. I saw Angela desperately trying to calm down a very distressed Jasper, Alice was stood on the sidelines looking apprehensive. Jasper appeared dreadfully tormented, his usually neat hair was a mess and his eyes were wild. He obviously had not caught sight of me in the doorway as he shouted

"I NEED TO SEE ISABELLA! AND I NEED TO SEE HER NOW!" tears were in his eyes.

"Jasper! What on earth is the matter?" I asked as I took a step into the hall. Angela moved out of Jasper's path as he came striding towards me. He pulled me into a strong embrace, Jasper's intensity and desperation worried me.

"Jasper, I think we need to talk in private" I reassuringly stroked his hair as I spoke "perhaps you could let go of me for a few moments while I try to arrange something" he reluctantly released his grip on my waist before sitting on the bottom step of the staircase with his head held in his hands.

"Angela, something is dreadfully wrong with Jasper, this is most unlike him." I whispered with obvious worry and concern "Please could you run the shift for me for an hour or so?"

Angela nodded.

"Your kindness is greatly appreciated. A word of warning before I go, please tread carefully around Nurse Hale. I was frightfully rude to her as I did not understand the severity of the situation and I am yet to apologise."

With that Angela disappeared back to the ward. I was a little nervous about approaching Jasper, I had never seen him like this and I was unsure of how to deal with him. I slowly moved closer to him and knelt down in front of him.

"Jasper, sweetheart. Stand up and follow me we will go somewhere we can talk privately." I spoke gently to him and took his hand as he slowly stood up. As I led him up the stairs to my room I thought back to how different things were the last time I sneaked him in, and my heart sank.

Jasper was silent as he perched on the end of my bed, staring heavy-heartedly at the floor. I could no longer contain my feeling of unease and panic. Knelt between Jasper's legs and took a deep breath before speaking.

"Jasper, please tell me what is troubling you"

He gazed at me for a moment before speaking.

"I'm leaving Bella" he sighed.

A sudden wave of nausea washed over me and I could hear my heart break into pieces. Why would he do this? Had he made a mistake in proposing to me? I began to hyperventilate as the panic took hold of me.

"You're leaving me" I choked out. Jasper silently nodded "No Jasper you can't!" I barely whispered

Jasper did not reply. He dipped his head to look at the floor once more.

"Have I done something wrong? Have you met someone else?" I was experiencing even greater difficulty controlling the rate at which I was breathing and I felt faint as the tears streamed down my face. "Deep down I always knew I was not good enough for you, I have never done anything to deserve your affections"

Jasper quickly lifted up his head and pulled me into an embrace. I tried to free myself asking him not to make this anymore difficult than it already was. Although it was not what I wanted I suggested he leave, the solitude would give me the time I needed to grieve.

"Bella!" he exclaimed "Stop being so absurd. You have done nothing wrong nor have I met someone else, if anything you are too good for me."

"Then why are you leaving me?" I interrupted my confusion was obvious.

"Bella, given the choice I would never leave you, I love you dearly and fully intend to make you my wife. My regiment is leaving. I have to go to and fight the war." his voice was full of remorse.

"So you don't want to call off our engagement?" Jasper shook his head and forced a smile "Well that changes things, I was frightfully worried that you no longer loved me and it is a relief to hear that you still feel the same.... However you are still leaving."

"We leave in two days, but tonight is the only free time I have as tomorrow we travel to Dover" he looked so sad and tired.

"Jasper, I cannot pretend I am happy at the idea of you going to fight, but it is something I will have to deal with." I forced myself to sound jolly for his sake, inside I felt like I was dying. "I believe that you are a good soldier Private Whitlock and that you will do your best to stay safe for me. We can write to each other all the time, can we not? And you will not be gone forever my love. We can get through this I know we can" I was unsure as to whether I was reassuring Jasper or myself.

"Miss Swan you never fail to amaze me, you have taken this news a good deal better than I have" he sounded utterly defeated.

I forced a smile in reply.

"I am needed downstairs for a few hours now. Will you please wait in here for me to return?" I asked "The matron is away for a few days so there is no risk of you being disturbed"

"If that is what you wish, then that is what I will do, my love"

I kissed Jasper goodbye and made my way towards the door, before I opened it I looked behind me to see Jasper looking at the floor wiping a tear from his eye. The sight crushed me. I left the room and quietly closed the door behind me. I had no recollection of how I arrived back in the entrance hall. I had been too preoccupied fighting back the tears that threatened to escape once more, I was aware that if I let this happen the tears would never stop falling. I was busy trying to find my professional frame of mind when Nurse Hale appeared. She glared at me with a look of pure disdain before launched into verbal attack on me over chastising her in Edward's room.

"Nurse Hale, frankly I am no mood to deal with your childish temper tantrum. I am in charge of this shift and I deemed your conduct inappropriate and abrupt. You behaved most unprofessionally in the presence of a patient, who already regards the hospital staff in a negative manner." I bellowed at her "You deserved every word I said to you, regardless of the situation that was unfolding elsewhere." with that I turned on my heels and swiftly walked away not even waiting for her reaction.

I stormed off to the supply room to retrieve a standing frame for Edward and managed to get my emotions in some sort of order before knocking on Edward's door. I knocked three times but received no answer, I proceeded to gently push the door ajar and peek inside of the room. It was empty and Edward was nowhere to be seen so I placed the wooden frame next to his bed. I could hear footsteps approaching me from behind and braced myself for another onslaught from Nurse Hale and I was more than confident that she would not like what I had to say to her. I swiftly turned to see Angela, the relief I felt was short lived as I knew she would ask me about Jasper. I would normally be understanding of her concern and tell her all that was troubling me, but this time I could not. Ben was in the same desperate predicament as Jasper only he had not spoken to Angela yet. I felt it most definitely his job to tell her, I did not want to be the one responsible for breaking her heart. I brushed off her concern for Jasper and myself and promptly asked if the shift was running smoothly and the location of Lance Corporal Cullen. She informed me that she and Alice were in the process of attending to Pilot Davis, Nurse Hale was cleaning the floors in the most foul of moods and all the patients were resting on their beds. With the exception Lance Corporal Cullen, who was presently in the lounge declining all assistance from the nurse's and being very impolite about it too.

I thanked Angela before she headed back to Pilot Davis and made my way to the lounge. I smoothly opened the lounge door and closed it silently behind me, so as not to give Edward the excuse to scold me. He had not heard me enter and was sat in his wheelchair at the piano with his back to me. Edward raked his hand through his hair before beginning to play. It was a piece full of sorrow, yet the music was so beautiful I could feel every note he was playing as if they were surrounding me. When the tune had finished he paused briefly before he started to play another song of lament. My heartache was overwhelming and I slowly slid down the wall and I pulled my knees tightly to my chest and sobbed.

I was so busy weeping and thinking about Jasper leaving that I had failed to notice that the music had ceased until I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see the very concerned face of Edward. The fact he looked so handsome only made me cry more, how could I be admiring another man when I should be thinking of my fiancé?

"Nurse Swan, what on earth has upset you so?" he asked softly.

I could not find my ability to speak, instead I just wept some more.

"Please, tell me. I would like to help you if I can" he gently tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear as he spoke.

"I am truly grateful for you concern Lance Corporal, but honestly it is nothing, I'm being frightfully silly" I sniffed

"Nonsense, this is much more than silliness. My offer of help was a sincere one Nurse Swan. If you wish to tell me your troubles I shall share them with no one, nonetheless I will fully understand if you decide not to."

I didn't want to tell him anything but I could not stop the words tumbling from my mouth.

"My fiancé is also a soldier in the army and he has just received his orders to go abroad and fight" I choked "What if he is injured? What if like so many soldiers, he never comes back? How will I go on?"

Edward held my chin in his hand and tenderly stroked my cheek with his thumb as he replied

"My dear girl, are you always such a pessimist? He is a well trained soldier, is he not?"

I nodded.

"And he loves you, yes?"

I nodded again and he loosed go of my chin.

"Then why on earth would he do anything in battle to risk losing you or his life? I can assure you he will do his utmost to stay safe so he can return to you, to hold you in his arms once more and tell you he loves you" he spoke softly and his words were full of compassion.

I forced a smile as I wiped my eyes.

"You sound very confident in your assumptions Lance Corporal" I quietly stated

"That is because I am speaking from experience Nurse Swan. Believe it or not there was a girl who was special to me once, a girl who I have only recently realised I was in love with. Leaving her behind tore me apart" his voice was edged with a deep sadness. "Just the thought of her made fighting bearable; I fired every bullet in the knowledge that it was to keep her safe I even risked my own life to save hers"

He paused pensively before continuing.

"The old saying _Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori _is one of the most heinous lies ever told. It is utterly abominable"

"What happened to the girl you loved?" I asked. The thought of Edward loving someone other than me pained me despite the fact I had no right to feel that way. Oh I really did not deserve Jasper and I truly was going to spend eternity suffering torment in hell.

"In all honesty Nurse Swan, I do not know." He looked utterly forlorn as he spoke.

We sat in silence for a short while as I composed myself. When I felt a little better I stood up and thanked Edward for his kindness and asked him if he was ready to attempt some standing exercises. He was eager to get started so we hurried to his room.

I placed the wooden frame in front of him and described how to use it and reassured him at no point would I leave his side.

"Lance Corporal this is going to take a lot of effort and will cause your legs some discomfort. You should not expect to become proficient at this instantly, it will take time and practice"

Edward placed his hands on top of the frame, which was similar to an elderly person's walking frame only sturdier. I counted to three and Edward pulled himself up into a standing position. His legs were a little unstable but he was doing very well indeed, managing to stay standing for at least a minute.

"Bravo Bravo!" I praised as he sat down. Edward's smile was beaming. "Are you ready to try again?"

He nodded and slowly stood again, he continued to practice for a good 15minutes when there was a knock at the bedroom door.

"Come in" he called while standing.

I turned to see Alice looking flustered in the doorway; I smiled at her before she began to speak.

"Oh Bella, I've been looking everywhere...." there was a loud thud followed by a vast amount of cursing. I turned to see Edward slumped on the floor.

"Are you ok Lance Corporal?" I quickly asked.

"Does it look like I am ok? Nurse Swan, I have fallen upon the cold hard floor and as yet you have made no effort to rectify this situation" the anger in his voice was obvious.

Alice and I helped him up off the floor and supported him to his bed.

"Have you hurt yourself in any way?" I asked once he was laid down on his bed.

"I am somewhat amazed by your stupidity! Do you not think I would have informed you if I had hurt myself?" he yelled.

"Lance Corporal Cullen, do I have to remind you yet again that I am not here to be spoken to like that? I would also like to take the opportunity to inform you your mood swings are not only irritating, they are also giving me whiplash" I spat at him before swiftly leaving the room.

I would make time to apologise to Alice later for walking out on her and leaving her with Edward. Although he was most likely being charming towards her as always, I thought bitterly to myself.

The remainder of the shift passed quickly, Alice accepted my apology insisting I had nothing to apologise for, Angela completed all the paperwork while Nurse Hale stayed out of my way. Angela hurried passed Alice and me to her room feeling terribly excited about spending time with Ben this evening. I forced a smile in her direction knowing full well her heart was about to be shattered, thankfully she did not notice that my smile was not genuine. Alice informed me she would spend a little time with Lance Corporal Cullen before returning to her room to study, before she left me she was careful to make sure I knew her door was open if I wished to talk.

"Thank you Alice you are a dear friend, but perhaps we could talk tomorrow?" I asked as I walked towards my door. "Oh Alice please can you check on Angela tonight, I think she maybe in need of a friend when she returns"

Alice nodded as she entered her room.

I entered my room to see Jasper pacing back and forth like a caged animal holding his arms tightly behind his back. Before I had found the time to close the door properly he had pounced on me, pulling me into a tight embrace.

"I have missed you" he whispered in my ear.

It was emotional evening to say the least, we spoke of being separated and both shed tears, we spoke of being reunited and I shed more tears. All the upset of the day had left us both exhausted we lay on the bed together in each other's arms before drifting off to sleep.

I woke a few hours later and carefully removed myself from Jasper's arms; I walked over to my dresser and took out the photo I had been meaning to give to him. I retrieved a pen and wrote on the back of the print

"**My Dearest Jasper,**

**Never forget that I love you,**

**Forever yours**

**Bella"**

I shed a silent tear before placing it in the breast pocket of his jacket and getting back into bed with him.

I spent a long time memorising every detail of Jasper's face as he slept, running my fingers through his hair and across his soft lips before falling asleep once more.

Jasper woke me early next morning; the sun had barely risen when he told me he had to leave. I tried so hard to stay brave for him but I could not stop the tears from falling as we said our goodbyes. We held each other for what felt like a lifetime but it was not enough, when Jasper let go of me and walked towards the door, it felt like someone had torn my heart out of my chest.

"I love you Isabella Swan, and I will be back for you shortly" he said as he left my room.

As soon as he shut the door a loud sob erupted from my chest and I fell apart.

**So Jasper has gone, Edward is being nice to Nurse Swan and Nurse Hale is in trouble**

_**Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori **_**means i****t** **is sweet and right to die for your country, the quote was made famous by WW1 poet Wilfred Owen in the poem of the same name.**

**As for Edward playing the piano, he will tell you what he is playing in the next chapter and I'll give you links!**

**Let me know what you think, first one to review gets a night with Edward!!!.**

**Magenta xxx**


	14. Chapter 14

_**Thanks for all your lovely reviews, without them I would have given up long ago! **_

_**Loads of love and thanks to my beta acacia6583 and to Niki.**_

_**I do not own twilight but I do own a twilight Edward doll and a new moon Edward doll!!**_

_**Lets see what Lance Corporal Cullen has got to say for himself**_

Edward 

It was the first night since my accident that I dreamt of Bella, speaking to Alice had bought all my repressed feelings to the forefront of my mind once again. The dream was a peculiar one as I was very aware that I was enjoying Bella's company but I never saw her face, she was always looking away from me even all I saw was her beautiful long dark hair. We appeared to be enjoying a party yet, and as we danced I held her so close to me that her face was pressed against my chest out of my view. The dream felt so real I could smell her, feel her warmth, her heart beat through her chest and hear her sweet-sounding voice so clearly. As I spun Bella on the dance floor the background slowly changed, we were no longer in a dance hall. Instead I was alone in the hospital gardens, I began frantically searching for Bella, screaming her name but it was futile she did not respond and I did not find her. I sat on a bench and held my head in my hands and felt a warm hand tenderly rubbing my back. I looked up to see Nurse Swan smiling sweetly at me, she looked absolutely ravishing and bewitching. So bewitching in fact I could not avert my gaze from her cheerful smile as she placed her hands on my cheeks and softly asked

"**Please allow yourself to love me as I love you****"**

A feeling of panic enveloped me as I spoke to her, telling her my heart belonged to Bella and that I must find her. She spoke not one word to me after that, we sat in silence staring at each other neither one of us looked away for an instant.

I awoke to the sounds of the morning birds, singing jubilantly outside my window. I felt a trifle odd after my dream; I was struggling to make sense of my feelings about Bella and Nurse Swan. Talking with Alice yesterday had made it more than obvious to me that I was in love with Bella. In the past the notion of love at first sight had always been a frightfully silly one to me, but after spending just one evening with Bella I could no longer deny its existence. Yet despite the certainty of my feelings towards her I could not help but feel some form of attraction to Nurse Swan. Confusing as it was I decided to push my thoughts to one side, reasoning that I hardly knew Nurse Swan so my attraction was purely a shallow and fickle infatuation based solely on her appearance. I could not afford for feelings of resentment to build up against this innocent woman for distracting my attention and affection from Bella, I already had enough issues to deal with.

I put on the wireless and began thinking about the progress I had made last night and allowing my mind to start thinking about my impending mobility and freedom. I was very proud of my new found ability and was eager to get in some practice today. My daydreaming was interrupted by a knock on the door followed by the entry of Nurse Swan.

"Good Morning Lance Corporal, how are you feeling this morning?" she practically sang the words.

I was not expecting her to be so joyous in light of my outbursts yesterday. Her happiness made me feel a little perplexed but I found it impossible to ignore and found myself smiling and sharing her happy feelings.

"I am feeling good thank you, but it appears I am not feeling as good as you Nurse Swan. Have you received some good news?" I chuckled as I spoke to her.

"That is for me to know and you to find out" she teased. I had to admit to myself that she looked radiant this morning and I was quickly growing very fond of her whimsical mood.

We continued with the playful talk as she allowed me to choose an outfit from my wardrobe. I told her of my intentions to question Nurse Brandon on the origins of her high spirits this afternoon and her response was once more playful.

"Nurse Brandon will do nothing of the sort Lance Corporal. She knows nothing of the reasons behind my happiness, and if you are planning to interrogate her then I had best keep it that way"

I could not help but smile at her while at the same time realising I had not taken my eyes off her since she first arrived. Nurse Swan returned my smile and began to walk towards me, she lost her balance and fell landing with a bump across my chest. She lay unmoving for a short while, try as I might I could not hold back my laughter. I'm sure if I had not been laughing so hard I would have relished in the fact she was so close to me. She stood up biting her bottom lip looking most puzzled at me, her confused expression only making me laugh more. I managed to stop laughing long enough to ask her if she was ok before continuing tittering. She replied by asking me if I was going to shout at her.

"Nurse Swan that was one of the most amusing things I have seen in quite some time" I chuckled out

"So you are not mad at me?" her voice shook as she spoke and she looked terrified. The smile instantly disappeared from my face. The happiness I had been feeling was abruptly replaced with guilt as I thought back to yesterday, I had treated her so appallingly that she was frightened of me. The notion of this upset me deeply, the feeling reaching right down to the very core of me.

"I'm not a complete ogre; I do have a sense of humour! But I can forgive you for thinking that I am" I sighed as I spoke truthfully.

"I know perfectly well that you are not an ogre Lance Corporal" she smiled as she spoke, the look of terror being replaced once again with light-heartedness.

"You seem very sure of yourself. Maybe I will reprimand you? Perhaps I should even go as far as to discipline you for your clumsiness?" I jested while still in disbelief that I had actually threatened to discipline the girl.

The banter continued as I got myself ready for the day. Nurse Swan was willing to let me try standing with the help of only one nurse, as Alice had last night. She appeared to be most proud of me even going as far as to offer to help me with some exercises after lunch. She was knelt down in front of me when there was a knock at the door and Nurse Hale burst into the room. She rudely informed Nurse Swan that she had a visitor that needed her immediate attention, Nurse Swan told her the visitor would have to wait and she would be there shortly. Nurse Hale did not take too kindly to this and once again told her that she was needed immediately. I could see Nurse Swan was fighting very hard not to lose her temper with the unruly nurse, however I was not prepared for her reply.

"Look, unless it is King George, Winston Churchill or the Pope, I'm certain they will not mind waiting for five minutes!" she yelled. At first I was taken aback by her ferocity however this feeling did not last long and I began to snigger at her comical reply. I watched as her top lip twitched as she fought back the urge to smile.

When Nurse Hale replied that Nurse Swan's fiancé was the urgent visitor my mood instantly sank. I believe she spoke to me before she left as I recall feeling her hand on my arm, but I was too lost in my feelings of devastation. The revelation hit me hard and left me feeling like I had received a sharp kick to the gut. How dare she not tell me she was promised to someone else? He must have been the irresponsible bastard from last night who had gotten her drunk. My irrational side was struggling with a multitude of feelings; jealousy, rage, anger, betrayal and frustration were but a few. While the more rational half of my personality was busy explaining to me that I had no reason to feel the way I did after all I had not told her about Bella and she was a nurse that I hardly knew. I had no hold over her and she had no reason to tell me anything of her personal life especially after I had been so cruel to her yesterday. Surely I would not feel so down-hearted if my feelings for Nurse Swan were nothing but a fickle infatuation as I had concluded earlier? I began to ponder the thought that perhaps I was in love with her, was it possible to love two women at once? After half an hour my questions were still unanswered and I began to make my way down to the lounge.

On my journey I bumped into a very flustered looking Alice.

"Good morning Nurse Brandon" I said mournfully "Is everything ok?"

"Good morning Lance Corporal, just a small problem with Nurse Swan's fiancé but I think she has it in hand now. Any how I was just about to ask you the same thing, you look desperately troubled"

"I'm a little unsettled today, but it is nothing I cannot work through. Will I be seeing you later?" I asked.

"Only if you want to Lance Corporal, I do not wish to become a pest or for you to tire of my company."

"I don't think it is possible to tire of your company, especially when you're the only friend I have" I jested

"Well in that case I will be at your door around 4 o clock" she replied before dancing off down the corridor.

When I arrived at the lounge I found it empty and silent. I could feel myself being drawn to the piano, I had not played for sometime but the piano had always soothed me in the past. I made my way over to it and lifted the wooden lid to expose the keys, I sat for a brief moment before I began playing one of my favourite pieces. The sombre sounds of Moonlight Sonata filled the room perfectly reflecting my melancholy as I thought of Nurse Swan. I felt this song was more than befitting as Beethoven had written it for Countess Giulietta Guicciardi, a girl who it was inappropriate for him to love and who did not return his feelings. As I finished the piece I took a moment to contemplate how wrong of me it was to have feelings for Nurse Swan and it saddened me to think my feelings were unrequited. I let out a depressed sigh and I began to play Comptine d'un autre ete : L'apres midi.

When I had finished playing I was surprised to see a nurse sobbing and sat huddled up on the floor. I knew instantly it was Nurse Swan. I approached her slowly so as not to startle her, I leant over and placed my hand on her shoulder. I asked her to tell me what had upset her but she just wept some more. The sight of her weeping and distressed tortured me all my anger towards her was quickly forgotten, I fought the urge to scoop her up in my arms and hold her and kiss her pain away. I asked her once more whilst tucking her hair behind her ear, it was such an intimate gesture that was highly inappropriate of me but I could not help it. Eventually she answered me,

"My fiancé is also a soldier in the army and he has just received his orders to go abroad and fight. What if he is injured? What if like so many soldiers, he never comes back? How will I go on?" the words tumbled quickly from her mouth.

My heart-ached for her, I was all too familiar with the anguish of leaving someone you loved behind, but this was no time to think about Bella. I took her chin in my hand and my thumb stroked her cheek, I was aware that this contact was against my better judgments but I could not help but touch her, her skin was so appealing, so soft and warm.

"My dear girl, are you always such a pessimist? He is a well trained soldier, is he not?" I asked tenderly. She was still too upset to answer but nodded her head in agreement.

"And he loves you, yes?" she nodded again and I reluctantly removed my hand from her face.

"Then why on earth would he do anything in battle to risk losing you or his life? I can assure you he will do his utmost to stay safe so he can return to you, to hold you in his arms once more and tell you he loves you"

While I did my best to comfort Nurse Swan I kept thinking that perhaps it was best for him to go and to be killed for his country, leaving Nurse Swan free to one day fall in love with me. The thought was atrocious, bordering on diabolical I felt thoroughly ashamed of myself for even entertaining the idea, but it was how I felt and it was a fact impossible to ignore.

"You sound very confident in your assumptions Lance Corporal" she spoke quietly

"That is because I am speaking from experience Nurse Swan. Believe it or not there was a girl who was special to me once, a girl who I have only recently realised I was in love with. Leaving her behind tore me apart" my voice trembled as I spoke. I was unsure as to why I was sharing such personal details with her, I desperately wanted to stop but try as I might the words just kept coming.

"Just the thought of her made fighting bearable; I fired every bullet in the knowledge that it was to keep her safe I even risked my own life to save hers. The old saying _Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori _is one of the most heinous lies ever told. It is utterly abominable" I sighed thinking of what could have been between me and my Bella.

I was a little miffed with myself that I had almost exposed the very workings of my soul to Nurse Swan, but I felt compelled to tell her everything. The very presence of her broke down every wall I had ever built up leaving me defenceless. I wanted her to see me for who I really was, not the broken abusive man with a terrible temper that circumstances had forced me to become, but the loving and compassionate man I was and still am deep down. She asked what had happened to the girl; I replied truthfully that I didn't not know.

We sat in silence for a short while, she was deep in thought whilst staring out of the window. My gazed was fixed on her beautiful face, I watched her intently as the sparkle in her eyes returned despite the look of devastation still on her face. It suddenly dawned on me that if she had asked me for it, I would have given her my soul there and then, just to see her smile once more. The notion caused part of my heart to break for betraying my Bella.

Nurse Swan broke the silence by thanking me for my compassion and asked if I would like to go to my room and practice standing. I eagerly agreed as I could think of nothing I would like more than to spend more time in her company, the task of teaching myself to stand once more was an added bonus. I used the frame to stand several times, each attempt my balance lasting a little longer. My legs caused me a little discomfort as they protested about bearing my weight, in all honesty I would have taken the pain of having them broken once more if it meant I was able to see Nurse Swan so full of joy and bursting with pride at my accomplishments.

There was a knock at the door, I was eager to stand up and flaunt the progress I had made to whoever was on the other side of the door. Once standing I held my balance and invited the visitor in.

"Oh Bella, I've been looking everywhere...."

I instantly recognised the worried voice as Alice's. I realised that she was addressing Nurse Swan as Bella before the shock caused my legs to shake and buckle and I fell to the ground sharply. As I lay on the floor for what felt like a lifetime I began seething from the revelation. What a cruel and bittersweet blow fate had dealt me. Was it not enough for Nurse Swan to be unknowingly superseding my affections for _my Bella _without sharing the same name?Perhaps fate was telling me to disregard my love for the old Bella as I had found a new one? There was not time for me to contemplate this matter any further as I had become acutely aware of the pain in my legs bought about by my fall.

"Are you ok Lance Corporal?" the concern in Nurse Swan's voice was most apparent. However the pain in my damned legs and my anger at her unconscious efforts to replace _my Bella_ caused me to snap at her.

"Does it look like I am ok? Nurse Swan, I have fallen upon the cold hard floor and as yet you have made no effort to rectify this situation" I all but growled at her. I caught sight of her frightened expression as she and Alice helped me up and it troubled me greatly.

"Have you hurt yourself in any way?" she asked her voice trembling presumably with fear of what I would proceed to do next.

I wanted to answer her question a pleasant manner and watch her radiant smile return, but the dreadful pain in my legs prevented me from doing so.

"I am somewhat amazed by your stupidity! Do you not think I would have informed you if I had hurt myself?" I snapped at her, lying convincingly.

It pleased me to see her frightened demeanour hastily retreat to make way for her more confident and feisty manner.

"Lance Corporal Cullen, do I have to remind you yet again that I am not here to be spoken to like that? I would also like to take the opportunity to inform you your mood swings are not only irritating, they are also giving me whiplash" she spat out most unpleasantly before turning on her heel and storming from the room.

On her way out she attempted to slam the door behind her, without looking she reached behind her and grabbed for the door handle twice. She missed both times only adding to her mounting levels of frustration; her face blushed an angry shade of crimson as she turned around. A growl of pure exasperation escaped her lips as she took a firm hold on the door handle and managed to bang the door shut behind her.

Alice and I swiftly looked from the door to each other, each of us simultaneously bursting into laughter at Nurse Swan's annoyance and chagrin.

"Oh Edward, we shouldn't laugh at her when she is so undoubtedly worked up about something" she chuckled.

"Well, maybe you should listen to your advice as you don't seem to be putting an end to your laughter either." I managed to choke out in-between the bouts of laughter.

Alice and I eventually stopped laughing and she perched on the end of my bed.

"On a more serious note, you were in the wrong to be so terribly rude to Nurse Swan." She chastised "She is a very caring and most loyal young woman, she has more compassion and patience than anyone I know. You could do a great deal worse than becoming friends with her Edward"

"I'm sorry Alice, my legs were causing me a great deal of pain and I lashed out." I spoke sincerely "Besides which she frightfully pretty when she is angry don't you think?"

Alice let out a shocked gasp and covered her open mouth with her hand while her eyes opened wide with excitement.

"You have a fondness for Nurse Swan?" she questioned with a large smile across her face.

"NO! I most certainly do not Alice. I have already told you that my heart belongs to someone else" I lied, both to Alice and to myself and felt dreadfully guilty about it.

"It is not me you should be apologising to Lance Corporal, you have been exceedingly pleasant to me since your arrival and I feel it is about time you tried to extend that decency to the other nurses" she gently scolded "But yes, you are right she is a very handsome girl." She paused briefly and seemed hesitant to continue "Edward, I fear I maybe speaking out of turn but I would like to know why you did not just admit you were in pain instead of shouting at Nurse Swan?"

"I am unsure of that fact myself, but I lean towards the thought that it is because of the immense shame and frustration I feel over the circumstances of my injuries"

"I can understand you frustrations but I can in no way comprehend the idea of your shame. Saving someone's life is a very brave and valiant thing to do, never forget that Edward." She spoke seriously "Now you will have to excuse me for a while as I need to go and tell Nurse Swan of your fondness" she said gleefully.

"Alice you would not dare!" I warned

"Watch me" she teased while poking out her tongue in my direction. I threw my pillow at her and gave her a look of pseudo-displeasure.

"Your quite fun when your flustered Edward, I will not speak a word to Nurse Swan so you can put a halt to your fretting." She chuckled while throwing the pillow back at me "I will be back in a few hours when my shift is over" she smiled as she left.

As promised Alice returned as few hours later, she had changed out of her uniform and was wearing a sophisticated and elegant looking black dress accompanied by a hair clip decorated by large red flower. We wandered around the ground for a while and I listened to Alice explain that she could no longer procrastinate where her studying was concerned and how unhappy the idea of spending her evening researching made her. After a short time in the garden we retired to my room both feeling the effects of the evening's chilly breeze, after all it was nearly October and winter was fast approaching. We sat together talking and listening to some quiet music on the wireless.

"Alice?" I asked, she looked in my direction "Please do not jump to any conclusions when I ask this, I can assure you my only motivation is that of inquisition, you seem very close to Nurse Swan have you known her for a long time?"

"No, it does sometimes feel as if I have known her my entire life yet in reality it has only been a few weeks. She transferred here from London just short of a week after I came from Birmingham. I adore Nurse Swan she has become a very dear friend to me. I often forget that she is a year younger than me, as she is so mature and compassionate for her age." she spoke most fondly of her friend

"From London? I thought she lived locally"

"Her childhood was spent just down the road from here, she moved to London for her nursing. It was in London that she met her fiancé. Frightfully strange story actually, as she first met him in London yet he had grown up just a few miles away from her in a little village. Fate moves in mysterious ways I suppose."

"Ah yes the fiancé, what is he like?" I continued to question

"Well Edward this is strictly confidential, between you and I only" she leant in towards me and began to whisper "I have only met him once, which was this morning, but nonetheless Private Jasper Whitlock is a man in possession of some dashingly good looks" she began to giggle like a school girl before continuing "But good looks aside, until he lost his temper earlier today, I thoroughly enjoyed being in his company. He is a most charming man."

She leant back in her chair as I raised my eyes brows and smirked at her.

"What?" she chuckled

"It seems to me as though somebody has affections for a man who is soon to be married to Nurse Swan, does it not?" the words stung slightly as I imagined Nurse Swan with her handsome new husband.

"I have no idea what you mean Edward" she said while giving me a cheeky smile.

"Do not worry I shall not tell a soul of your secret, with the exception of Nurse Swan of course. It is in her best interests to know that your intentions towards her man are improper." I jested.

"That will only happen if she speaks to you again Lance Corporal. I think you outburst earlier may have hurt her feelings, she seemed awfully down earlier"

"I shall apologise for my terrible outburst when I next see her. But I do not think I am the only reason she is a little upset, in fact I hope I am not speaking out of turn when I say that she will be in desperate need of your friendship and affections over the course of the next few days."

Alice looked a little puzzled but did not question my statement further.

"Well yet again Edward I have most enjoyed the pleasure of your company today but my studying is beckoning me to go upstairs." She stood up from her chair as she spoke "It is my day off tomorrow and I plan to take a stroll in to Shrewsbury with Nurse Swan and Nurse Webber, if there is anything you need me to get for you do not hesitate to ask."

"Thank you Alice that is most kind of you to offer. I am unable to think of anything at this exact moment in time but I will let you know if I think of anything"

"I shall pop in to see you before I leave then. Should I ask Nurse Swan to pop in too? So you can apologise and perhaps build some bridges?" she inquired

"Yes I think that would be for the best" I gave her a smile before she bent down and kissed my cheek. "Goodnight Alice"

"Goodnight" she replied as she began walking to the door "Oh, before I forget this arrived for you this morning" she handed me small brown envelope before smiling sweetly and leaving my room.

I immediately recognised the handwriting to be that of my mother's. I opened the envelope to see a find a folded piece of white paper,

**To my dearest son,**

**I hope this note finds you as well as you can be,**

**This is just a little note to explain that your father has had to cancel a series of meetings.**

**This has left us with a few days of unoccupied time, so your father**

**and I will be promptly travelling to Shrewsbury to visit you.**

**We will be arriving early on the morning of 25****th**** September, **

**I sincerely hope that you don't mind the impromptu notice as we are both more than eager to see you.**

**All my love and best wishes**

**Mother **

**xxxx**

I was overjoyed at the positive news as it had been such a long time since I had seen my family and spent time in their company. It took me a few moments and a second reading of the short note to realise that the 25th was in fact tomorrow, damned postal service getting slowed due to this bally war!

Last time they had visited me was in Southampton, I had been totally bound to my bed. I had been furtively hoping that they would not visit for at least another week, so I could practice my standing more and perhaps even take a few steps on my own. However I assured myself they would be more than pleased to see me getting around in my wheelchair and ecstatic when I gave them a demonstration of my standing skills. I planned to be up early, to dress smart in my uniform and meet them at the front door to the hospital. I was secretly thrilled at the thought of their faces when they saw me up and about. Perhaps if Alice was agreeable she would meet them and spend some time in their company, I was more than sure they would find her most adorable.

I half-heartedly read a little more of my Poirot book, too animated to properly take in the words I was reading I put the book down and turned on the wireless. I was bought some dinner around 7ish; it was a wonderful beef stew with over half a loaf of bread served with it. I asked the nurse who came to collect my tray if she would sit with me for a while allowing me to practice my standing skills once more. I was abruptly told she was far too busy to sit with me this evening, causing me to shout out at her in a most foul temper. It was her job to help me, was it not? I quickly realised how lucky I was that Nurse Swan and Nurse Brandon would always spare me some time and a feeling of appreciation washed over me. I assured myself I would make the time to thank them both accordingly for the care they gave me.

Feeling most annoyed I got myself in to my wheelchair successfully and felt quite smug about it too. I moved over to the standing frame took hold of it and bought it closer to the bed, positioning it so as that if I was to fall I would more than likely fall upon the bed. I was ultimately determined to practice this evening with or without the assistance of a nurse and so I began.

I practiced for at least an hour and managed to support my weight for at least 5 minutes on a few occasions. I was positively glowing with pride as a used my wheelchair to retrieve my pyjamas and ready myself for bed totally unaided.

The exercises I had been performing were trivial to the common man or woman, but I had been off my feet for quite some time and I found them to be utterly exhausting. I lay on the bed still feeling most pleased with myself as I fell asleep.

**Esme and Carlisle are on their way, Alice is fond of Jasper, Edward doesnt seem to know whether he is Nastyward or Niceward and has very nearly worked out that she is his Bella, it's all happening at Bicton!**

**I think you guys will like Esme and Carlisle!**

**Edward was playing moonlight sonata by Beethoven on the piano to start with, it really is a beautiful song here is the link....**

www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=vQVeaIHWWck

**and he plays comptine d'un autre ete l'apres midi by Yann Tiersen which is also beautiful. However it was only written a few years ago so I have used my artistic license so that Edward can play it. Here's the link....**

www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=VFLF-gh4C2M

**Let me know what you think!**

**Magenta xx**


	15. Chapter 15

_**Thanks for all your lovely reviews, I try my best to reply to everyone of them.**_

_**As usual I am sorry to say that I do not own Edward or twilight.**_

_**Loads of love and thanks for the constant hard work and support of my beta acacia6583 and Niki.**_

_**I was thrilled this week to be featured on FanFic Friday on Twigasmic Chicks blog, thanks so much girls!**_

_**If you want to check it out here is the link twigasmicchicks(dot)blogspot(dot)com**_

Bella 

I lay on the bed holding my pillow closely to my chest and sobbed, my heart broken as I drifted in and out of consciousness. The only time I stopped weeping was when I was asleep but then my worries for Jasper would wake me and I would begin to weep once more. The vicious circle of emotion and panic I was caught up in was interrupted by a knock on my door. I sat up and looked towards the door catching a glimpse of Jasper's photo in its frame, causing my strength to wane and yet more cries of pain to burst forward from my chest.

"Bella?" Alice's worried voice called through the door "Bella are you ok? You haven't forgotten about our shopping trip have you?"

Despite my inherent melancholy I could not help but smile a little, Alice absolutely adored shopping and somehow always managed to have an abundance of money to spend. I slowly made my way to the door, my legs unstable from the exhaustion of crying. Alice looked at my nightdress asking why I was not yet dressed, then moved her gaze to my face. She gasped and pulled me into a tight embrace before asking me what on earth had happened while walking me over to the bed.

It took me an eternity to explain to her what had happened yesterday and last night as my emotions caused me great difficulty speaking but she held me tight and spent some time assuring me it would be ok. I only wish I could have shared her optimistic outlook. I stood up from the bed and retrieved a dress from my wardrobe.

"Bella, what are you doing?" Alice asked her voice laced with concern.

"I can't very well go into town in my nightdress Alice" I sniffed Alice's company lifting my spirits somewhat.

"Isabella Swan! In light of recent events and emotional upheavals I do not think it is all that wise that we embark upon a shopping trip" she gently scolded.

"I cannot bear the idea of moping in my room all day and what kind of friend would I be if I let you down at the last minute?"

"Are you sure you will be ok?" she asked trying her hardest to contain her excitement.

"In all honesty I am sure, I have been looking forward to this trip for a week now even managing to save a few pennies to spend." I forced a smile "As I said I cannot not endure the thought of being alone all day and I cannot continue to grieve as though someone has died" as I spoke the words my subconscious reminded me that no one had died _**yet.**_

Alice beamed and appeared more than pleased at my decision to accompany her, but she eyed the dress I was holding with suspicion.

"Bella are you going to wear that polka dot dress again? You do realise you only wore it last week don't you?" the disbelief in her voice was clear

"Yes I am, I'm sorry if I am about to commit to an enormous fashion faux pas, but my other summery dresses are in the wash and the only other dresses I own are simply too warm for September" I giggled as I spoke, then felt instantly guilty for enjoying myself in the wake of Jasper's departure.

"Well, we shall buy you a new dress today, maybe even two" she was obviously elated at the thought of dressing me up like a doll.

"Ummm Alice, I don't mean to shatter you illusions but I don't think the money I have saved will stretch to one dress let alone two" I spoke quietly worried that my words would upset her.

"You have not shattered any of my illusions as I am planning on buying you the dresses"

"No Alice you cannot. You work mighty hard for your money you must spend it on yourself!" I exclaimed

Alice sighed and bowed her head before replying to my refusal

"I was left a sum of money by someone who wanted me to be happy Bella" her voice full of sorrow as she spoke "Spending a small portion of it on you would make me happy. Surely you cannot turn down someone's dying wish can you?"

I was too taken aback by what she had just said to answer. Who had Alice lost? I was aware she was bought up by her Nan, who although very old was very much alive. I smiled and nodded. I had become acutely aware shortly after meeting Alice that she was most stubborn and she would always get her way, often going to great lengths to achieve it.

I was dressed and just applying the finishing touches to my hair when an excited Alice stood and spoke.

"You look wonderful Bella, jolly pretty indeed! Now let us go and collect Angela and be on our way. We can get some breakfast while we are in town"

I let out a huge gasp and held my hands to my mouth, Alice looked horrified at my expression. I had done it again, once more I had been so wrapped up in my own affairs that I had forgotten all about Angela. My selfishness shocked and appalled me, how could I claim to be her friend when I hadn't thought about her once this morning?

"Angela... Ben! Oh good Lord how could I be so stupid" I grabbed my handbag and ran out of my door Alice following in my wake. I frantically hammered against Angela's door calling her name.

The door opened and I launched myself at Angela holding her tightly muttering apologies. I loosed go of her to be completely astounded she was dressed beautifully with no signs of recent crying in fact she was wearing a smile. The briefly contemplated the notion that Ben had not told her he was leaving but I knew he would not be so cold-hearted and cruel.

"I'm so sorry, I did not realise you two were so eager to leave this morning" Angela's voice sounded jolly "However I am almost ready to leave, give me five minutes" as she spoke she invited us into the room.

"Bella are you ok? You look a little puzzled" she asked.

"Ben?" was the only word I could muster.

She looked a little sad as she began to speak.

"Yes, Ben has gone too. I cannot pretend that I am happy about his departure if anything I am most sad and I spent the majority of yesterday evening crying. But he will be back as soon as the war is over" her voice edged with sorrow

I was still too shocked to speak, I had honestly expected to find Angela in a worst state than I found myself in, but here she was so brave and so optimistic. Had she not entertained the ideas of death, injury and the horrors of war like I had? Angela seemed to pick up on my state of shock and took my hand.

"Bella, it is most unlike you to be thinking with your heart instead of your head" she said gently as she wiped away a stray tear from my cheek "The war cannot possibly continue for much longer, can it now?" It was more a statement than a question.

"I hope you are right Angela I really do, I feel lost without Jasper" I sniffed

"As I do without Ben." She sighed "However I have no other choice than to accept this turn of events and take solace in the fact that I know Ben will write to me whenever he can and he will do his best to keep Jasper and himself safe. I am certain that you think I am heartless but I can assure you I am anything but. I have to remain brave as I am more than aware that if I begin to cry again I will never stop"

She held me close to her for a moment before moving me out to arms length and smiling at me. As Angela began to style her hair, I sat on the bed and stared out of the window, my spirits feeling a little higher. I was lost in a daydream when I became aware that Alice was whispering in Angela's ear, I turned to see them both smiling and Angela looking at me with her one eyebrow raised.

"I'm sorry, have I missed something" I asked

"Quite the opposite actually, when were you going to tell me Jasper spent the night with you in your room?" Angela smiled as she spoke. I looked at Alice who was stood next to her giggling.

"It was not like that you two, it was perfectly innocent." I said in defence of my actions.

"So it was unlike the other evening in your parent's garden then?" Angela was putting on her best parenting voice while fighting back a smile.

"What? How did you know about that?" I could not contain the smile that appeared as I reminisced about that night, while still feeling confusion at how she knew; I had not spoken a word about it to anyone.

"Well well Bella, I have my sources and they informed me that events got a little heated down by the summer house in your parent's garden"

"Isabella Swan, I am most shocked!" Alice mocked.

"Who told you? How did you know? Did you see us?" I panicked as my cheeks flushed crimson.

"Calm down, I saw nothing but Jasper told Ben who in turn told me. Then I may or may not have told Alice. But no one else knows"

"Oh how embarrassing!" I moaned as I threw myself backwards on to the bed, my hands covering my face feeling utterly mortified.

"You naughty, naughty girl" Alice tutted whilst shaking her head.

I giggled whilst throwing the pillow in her general direction and told her that had it been her in the situation, I was sure she would have behaved in the same manner.

Shortly after this we began making our way down the stairs, once at the bottom Alice said she had something to do before we left and she disappeared down the corridor leaving Angela and I to sit outside on the steps leading to the front door, basking in the early morning sun. A little sigh escaped my lips as I thought about the fact that soon the warm sun would be gone and winter would be upon us.

"Job done" Alice sang as she reappeared "Umm Bella I do not want to upset you, but I promised I would ask"

I didn't not like her creeping tone one bit, I stood up and flattened out my skirt before replying

"I do not like the sound of this, but carry on"

"Lance Corporal Cullen would like to see you before we leave"

"Oh Would he now?" I crossed my arms across my chest instantly assuming a defensive posture "What could I have possibly done now that so urgently warrants another chiding?" I asked sarcastically.

"Don't be so quick to pass judgement, deep down he is a lovely and kind man. Anyway I think he wishes to apologise for yesterday"

"Well I must say that he obviously keeps his niceness buried very deep, as I don't see it very often. If you will excuse me I will be back shortly" I stomped off back into the building, making my way down the corridor to his room. I stopped for a moment outside his door allowing time to compose myself, I was not about to give this disagreeable man the upper hand by making him aware of how much he bothered me.

I knocked and he invited me in. He was sat upon his bed, dressed smartly in his uniform whilst eating toast staring intently out of the window. Edward was a handsome man at the best of times but he looked most special in a uniform, the sight of him sent my pulse racing.

"Good morning Lance Corporal" I forced a smile even though he still had not looked my way "Nurse Brandon said you would like to see me?"

He continued to sit without saying a word, it appeared this was going to be a waste of my time and the notion angered me.

"Please tell Lance Corporal, what have you called me here to criticise this morning?"

"Nurse Swan, contrary to your opinion I have not asked for the pleasure of your company for reasons of criticism, quite the opposite in fact." He had still not averted his gaze from the window "I wish to apologise for my behaviour yesterday" he turned to look at me and appeared to be having the most peculiar reaction. He looked as though he had had the most dreadful of shocks, if I hadn't have known better I would have assumed he had seen a ghost. The colour instantly drained from his face, his eyes were wide, perhaps with fright but I was unsure, he dropped the glass of juice that he had been holding causing it to smash on the floor and he appeared to be holding his breath.

"Lance Corporal are you ok?" I asked genuinely concerned. I received no reply. "Edward, what's the matter" I asked frantically as I gently shook his shoulders. He rubbed his eyes and seemed to come round from his funny turn. "I'm sorry Lance Corporal, I didn't mean to address you by your first name I know you feel it is disrespectful but you had me most concerned for a moment there"

"I'm sorry for worrying you Nurse Swan, I am ok now though." He said with a confused expression on his face. I reached out for his hand to check his pulse and he flinched I explained that I just wanted to check his heart-rate and he held out his arm willingly.

"Your pulse is a little quick Lance Corporal, but nothing to worry about. Do you have any other peculiar symptoms? Has anything startled you at all?" the worry in my voice was frightfully apparent, but it was eased somewhat when I saw that Edward was smiling at me. The smile made me wish for _my Edward_, but I had come to the conclusion that _he_ was a figment of my imagination or perhaps he only made an appearance after a few beers, either way he was in the past and I should not allow myself to dwell upon it.

"It is more than inappropriate for me to be saying this so forgive me, but would you believe me if I said I was startled by your beauty? This is the first time I have had the pleasure of seeing you when you are off duty, and what a pleasure it is" he nervously ran his hand through his untidy hair and sounded very genuine as he spoke and I felt myself blush.

"Lance Corporal, I do believe you have gone slightly mad!" I said while reaching out to feel his forehead for signs of a temperature. "Did you bump your head yesterday when you fell?"

"Thank you for your concern Nurse Swan it is more than I deserve after the way I have been treating you recently, but this is your day off you should not be spending it fussing over me." My favourite smile put in another appearance and as usual it did not fail to dazzle me.

"I am dreadfully ashamed of my behaviour yesterday, more ashamed than you will ever realise. I can be a terrible excuse for a man sometimes, I shall not bore you with the reasons why, but I wish for you to accept my deepest apologies." His eyes were full of sorrow when he spoke, he looked so gentle and innocent. I resisted the urge to hold him as he continued to talk and instead I sat on the bed next to him.

"If I could take back the last few days and erase them, I assure you I would" he looked up at me through his long eye lashes and sighed "You have my word that I would if I could" he appeared to be on the verge of tears as he took hold of my hand and squeezed it gently. His touch was so gentle and warm, I revelled in the sensation until his fingers brushed against my engagement ring, forcing me to think of Jasper. I exhaled deeply before beginning to speak.

"I would be lying if I said that you had not upset me with your outrageous rudeness and your mood swings, however it has not all been bad" I paused for a moment to think about what to say next "Yesterday morning was fun, was it not? And you conducted yourself wonderfully yesterday afternoon when I was upset. You were a great comfort to me yesterday afternoon Lance Corporal, but then you turn your temper and your ungraciousness on me for reasons I do not understand"

"Maybe one day I will explain my reasons" he sighed deeply "But for now would you give me your forgiveness in return for my promise that it will never happen again?" he pleaded.

I took a moment before I nodded my head and said that he was forgiven. I looked at his face and I knew in that moment I would forgive him for the most horrendous wrongdoings if there was a chance for _my Edward _to return. As I stood up to leave his room he spoke once more.

"Thank you Nurse Swan, you have my word that I shall never hurt you again and your forgiveness has made me a very happy man"

I smiled at him and took a few steps towards the door before he spoke again.

"And Nurse Swan, I meant what I said you really do look beautiful"

I blushed once more as I thanked him and left his room. As I stood outside his door my heart was thumping in my chest, my breathing heightened, perhaps I had been too quick in assuming that _my Edward _was imaginary. Lance Corporal Cullen had just been most charming and nice to me, not to mention the fact he was so exceptionally handsome and utterly dazzling. Oh my poor Jasper, my fiancé, I should be thinking of him not some silly school girl infatuation. I righted myself and proceeded to go and find Alice and Angela. They were waiting where I had left them and after explaining that Lance Corporal Cullen did indeed wish to apologise we set off into town together.

Shrewsbury was a picturesque town full of black and white buildings dating from Tudor times, Victorian town houses and quaint little shops. The streets were cobbled with grey stones and the streets decorated with beautiful flowers and plants. The River Severn ran quietly through the heart of the town. I was taught at school that Shrewsbury was a place full of history, from the ornate Abbey to the grand sandstone castle that had be the scene of vicious fighting in the civil war.

Our first stop was Cole & Wilde's cafe, it was a popularly regarded as the best place in Shrewsbury for breakfasts. It was a jolly pretty place both inside and out. The outside was decorated with red and yellow flowers in window boxes and hanging baskets, while the inside had fresh flowers on each of the ten tables and the walls were adorned with pictures and paintings of local scenery. The three of us sat at a window seat, people watching and chatting while waiting for our breakfast to arrive. Alice very much hurried us through breakfast as she was very eager to shop, I was most surprised she had not burnt herself when she quickly drank a very hot cup of tea while Angela and I were both still sipping at our own. As soon as I had put my cup down on its saucer Alice was stood up ready to go hopping from one foot to the other in excitement I could not do anything to help the laughter that escaped me.

Once outside I noticed a distinct absence of men on the streets and it dawned on me they were all fighting the war. I thought of poor Jasper and my stomach twisted in knots as my thoughts of him were replaced with thoughts of Edward, I promptly promised myself that I would not think of either of them until the shopping trip was over. This was a girls day out and I was determined it was to stay that way. Alice positively dragged us around all the shops in Shrewsbury, we tried on an absolute abundance of dresses, skirts, blouses and shoes. I tried on a marvellous red dress in one of the shops we visited but I was unable to afford it so I placed it back on the rack, promising myself to be less frivolous with my money in the future. Alice handed me a plain brown dress and a navy blue dress decorated with a pattern of little flowers and instructed me to try them on, while she was busy making Angela try on coats. Alice told me the navy blue one was most flattering on me, but again my money would not stretch that far so I settled for a new black handbag and a pair of shoes to match. Angela was prepared for the winter with her new grey coat courtesy of her mother and father and Alice had bags of new clothes and a huge grin on her face. Surprisingly there were a few items of clothing and a few pairs of shoes left on the shelf when Alice exited the shop, Angela and I laughed at Alice struggling to carry all her bags before offering to help carry the lighter ones.

We began the walk home after a dreadfully exhausting day; Alice stopped us and popped into a florists. She returned carrying two large bouquets of flowers, so large in fact she could hardly see past them to walk.

"Alice, are you planning on opening your own florists?" I questioned

"No! Don't be silly, these are not mine Lance Corporal Cullen asked me to buy some for him. I think his mother is visiting today so I am assuming they are for her, although I cannot be certain"

"Does someone have feelings for the handsome yet grumpy Lance Corporal Alice?" Angela jested.

"I'm sure somebody somewhere has feelings for him Angela, but I can assure you it is not I. I will admit I am most fond of him but only in a brotherly fashion" she spoke with a serious tone. I knew I had no right to feel relieved to hear Alice had no romantic feelings for Edward, but I felt it all the same. I filled with dread as I wondered if he thought of Alice in a romantic way but pushed the notion to the back of my mind reminding myself that I belonged to Jasper.

We returned to the hospital where Alice left us to take the flowers to Edward, while Angela and I made our way upstairs. Angela informed me that she was going for a lie down for a short while as she was feeling frightfully weary from the day spent shopping.

I had been in my room for around 20 minutes when Alice knocked at the door and handed me a bag. I opened it feeling a little confused but was soon able to see a small portion of red material and a small piece of navy blue flowery material. As I pulled out the two dresses I had liked earlier but not been able to afford I remembered Alice's earlier promise to buy me some clothes when we were out. I was about to tell Alice that although I was extremely grateful I was unable to accept her generosity when she spoke

"Shhh, I don't wish to hear it Bella I bought them as a gift for you and I will be most offended if you do not accept them"

I smiled and thanked her before giving her a gentle cuddle and hanging them both in the wardrobe.

"This was not the only reason I have disturbed you"

I raised my eyebrows and told her to continue

"Lance Corporal Cullen asked if you could pop down and see him post haste, he says it is of up most importance" she smiled as she spoke.

"I will go down to him shortly"

Alice walked over to my table and picked up the picture of Jasper.

"He is a very handsome man Bella, you are very lucky" she sighed before grinning and wishing me luck with Edward.

I was a little apprehensive as I made my way down stairs to Edward's room, I knocked gently and awaited his invite. Once inside I noticed the presence of two extra chairs and I eyed them suspiciously, before noticing Edward in his wheelchair in front of the open French doors.

"Good afternoon Nurse Swan" he smiled and spoke pleasantly "The chairs were for my mother and father; they are visiting for a few days. You just missed them"

"Good afternoon to you too, Nurse Brandon said you wished to see me again Lance Corporal"

"She was correct, and I am happy you have come so promptly. I thought you would make me wait in revenge for my past indiscretions"

"You thought wrong, after our earlier conversation I am giving you the benefit of the doubt Lance Corporal and I have forgotten about your childish tantrums" I spoke playfully

"I am a man of my word and I will do my best to keep my promise to you, I am doing well so far am I not?"

"That you are Lance Corporal, in fact your exuberant mood is giving my whiplash some much needed time to heal itself" I jested and received my favourite crooked smile in return.

"I hope I am not too forth coming in saying that I think I am about to help you make a large amount progress with your healing process"

"Really? Now I am intrigued. How do you intend to do that? For you have not told me that you are in possession of any medical skills" I chuckled

"There are plenty of things I have not told you about myself Nurse Swan" he cocked his one eyebrow as he spoke "If you would be so kind as to take a seat and close your eyes, I would be very grateful"

I did as he instructed although I felt it a great shame to close my eyes as it prevented me from seeing his cheeky smile. I could hear a rustling noise and the sounds of the wheelchair getting closer to me. I was instructed to keep my eyes closed until Edward had finished speaking.

"Now I am aware you have set eyes on this particular _therapy _once before but I am certain you were not aware it was intended for you. Once again Nurse Swan I am truly sorry for my recent behaviour, although you have assured me I am forgiven I was rather hoping this gesture meant we could be friends?" his tone was genuine and sincere. "You may open your eyes now"

As my eyes opened Edward presented me with one of the huge bouquets of flowers Alice had bought earlier. I looked at him then at the flowers he had placed across my lap and then I glanced at him once more.

"For me?" I choked out full of emotion. The flowers were beautiful; there were at least two dozen roses of all different colours.

"Yes they are for you. They form a part of my apology and they are partly to say thank you for the kindness you have shown me since I came here" he smiled

"Lance Corporal it is my job to be kind and compassionate, I do get paid you know!" I chuckled

"Nonsense, your kindness has been above and beyond the call of duty it has just taken me a while to realise it. Despite my behaviour you were most considerate and soaked my bandages when you changed them, every other nurse has taken great pleasure in ripping them off and causing me pain, but not you. You took the time to help me with the standing frame and gave me encouragement, I am led to believe you also secured my use of this wheelchair and above all, unlike so many nurses you have never refused to care for me" his voice was full of appreciation as he spoke. "I really am very grateful Nurse Swan"

"And I am most grateful for these beautiful flowers. How did you know roses were my favourite?"

"Nurse Brandon told me this morning, so I instructed her to buy the biggest bunch she could find"

We sat and chatted until dinner I arrived, I explained I would leave him to eat in peace even though he insisted it wasn't necessary.

"What sort of a friend would I be if I stood up my dinner dates Lance Corporal?"

"Dinner _dates_?" he asked

"Yes _dates_, I promised Nurse Webber and Nurse Brandon that I would accompany them to dinner. I shall be back in the morning though to change your dressings and help you with you exercises if that would please you?"

"It would be very pleasing indeed Nurse Swan" he smiled

"Well, thank you once again for these lovely flowers I am touched by your generosity" I stood up and placed a gentle kiss of thanks on his cheek before leaving and heading up to my room. I knew deep down it was wrong to kiss him as it bought all the memories of the party in Whitechapel flooding back to the forefront of my mind. Jasper hadn't even stepped foot on foreign soil yet and I was full of feelings for another man. I cradled the flowers as I walked up the stairs chastising myself for having such improper thoughts and reminding myself of the promise I made many months ago to never think of Edward Cullen again.

**PHEW!! So there you have it in Alice's own words, she is not interested in Edward in a romantic way so panic over!!**

**NIceward well and truly put in an appearance in this chapter, but was about his little "moment" what do you guys think all that was about??**

**Send me lots of lovely reviews and I will once again release Lance Corporal Cullen from the cupboard to come and explain things to you!**

**Magenta xx**


	16. Chapter 16

_**Thanks again for all your lovely reviews, reading them makes me smile!**_

_**As usual I am sorry to say that I do not own Edward or twilight.**_

_**I'm updating early as a favour to my beta acacia6583, as it's her birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL!!!! Without all her hard work this story would still just be an idea in my warped little mind!!! As a birthday present to her I think you should all go check out Brand New Eyes and Consumed By Fire.**_

_**Also thanx to Niki, who desperately needs to get her computer fixed!!!**_

_**So let's hear what Edward has got to say for himself....**_

Edward 

I awoke the next morning feeling refreshed and eagerly anticipating the arrival of my parents. I turned on the wireless to hear the terrible news that the Blitz was still in full force, I thought myself awfully lucky to no longer be in Whitechapel as it had been virtually obliterated by the constant bombing. For a few moments I allowed myself to fill with dread at the thought of Bella's safety or lack thereof, but I pushed the feelings to one side reasoning that it would certainly not be a good thing for my parents to see me so anxious.

A nurse entered my room without having the decency to knock carrying a large bowl of warm water and offered to help me ready myself for the day. Despite her lack of common courtesy I managed to hold back my tongue and its strong urge to reprimand her, asking her to leave the bowl on the table and informing her I would dress myself. She looked a little perturbed but she did not argue, instead she left the room quietly. I used the water to wash and shave before agilely moving myself into my wheelchair and making my way to the wardrobe and retrieving my uniform. It felt as if a decade had passed since I last wore it, however in reality it had only been a few days. As much as my decision to sign up pained and tormented my mother she would be most pleased to see me looking smart and I smiled at the thought. I dressed my top half whilst sat in my chair and then swiftly transferred myself back on the bed to dress my bottom half. I was just doing up my belt when there was a knock at the door, I invited the guest in.

"Good morning" beamed Alice.

"Good morning Alice, it is frightfully early for you to be so cheery. Have you received some good news? Ahh no, I remember you are undertaking a shopping trip" I said quickly in answer to my own question.

"Yes I am! Its dreadfully exciting as it will be the first time Nurse Webber and Nurse Swan have accompanied me" she replied her excitement more than obvious "Actually speaking of Nurse Swan, are you still planning to apologise this morning?"

"I am a man of my word Alice, I intend to apologise before you wear the poor girl out with shopping"

"Jolly good! Have you thought of anything you would like me to pick up for you while I am out?"

"Yes, I think there is actually. My parents are visiting today and my mother is quite partial to flowers. I was rather hoping you could get me a large bouquet of flowers for her, if you would be so kind?" I asked

"I would be happy to help" she smiled "Any particular flower? Nurse Swan always says the way to a woman's heart is the gift of roses"

"Does she now?"

"Why yes, roses are her favourite!"

"In that case my dear girl, could you fetch me a mixed bouquet of flowers and the biggest bouquet of roses you can find?"

Alice nodded

"You will find my wallet in the top drawer over there; take as much as you need. I wish to spare no expense"

"As you wish Edward" she spoke while gracefully moving towards the drawer and retrieving my wallet "Would you like me to collect your breakfast for you before fetching Nurse Swan?"

"That would be most kind Alice, thank you"

She returned a few moments later carrying a tray of toast and jam with a cup of tea and a glass of apple juice. She placed it on the table for me and helped me to get into a comfortable position to eat.

"I shall leave you now in view of asking Nurse Swan to pay you a visit. But never fear I shall be back to see you later and to give you the flowers." She smiled and made her way to the door.

"I shall look forward to your return" I chuckled while spreading jam on to a slice of toast.

She turned to face me with a serious expression

"Just one more thing Edward" she paused and fiddled with her fingers. With my mouth full to the brim with toast I raised my eyebrows indicating for her to continue "Please be nice to her, she has received some bad news regarding her fiancé"

The word fiancé once again made an appearance and once again made me feel as if a dozen daggers had been simultaneously plunged it to my heart. "I can assure you I will be most pleasant" I said as I forced a smile and she shut the door behind her as she left.

I began to feel a little bit panicked and unsure of what to say to Nurse Swan when she arrived. I knew she deserved an apology but I was most unsure of what to actually say. I did not wish to say too little so as she thought the apology forced and unreal however I did not wish to say too much and perhaps give away the depth of my feelings and my inner turmoil. All too soon she knocked at my door causing me to jump a little. My heart was beating briskly as I invited her in, I still felt unready for this so I decided it would be best to fix my gaze on the garden, while I composed myself.

"Good morning Lance Corporal, Nurse Brandon said you would like to see me" Even the sound of her voice sent shivers down my spine, while at the same time my stomach twisted at the fact I was betraying my incomplete memory of Bella.

"Please tell Lance Corporal, what have you called me here to criticise this morning?" her voice was stern as she questioned me, she truly believed I was a monstrous excuse for a man. The fact I only had myself to blame made my feelings of guilt worsen. I took a sip of juice in a vain attempt to steady my nerves.

"Nurse Swan, contrary to your opinion I have not asked for the pleasure of your company for reasons of criticism, quite the opposite in fact." I spoke quickly trying to remain as calm as possible "I wish to apologise for my behaviour yesterday" I was aware she would think that I was being unduly rude by avoiding looking at her, so I turned to face her ready to continue with my offering of remorse.

Stood in front of me looking more beautiful than my mind could ever have given justice to was _my Bella,_ she was wearing the same flattering red and white polka dot dress that I had left her wearing so many months ago. It suddenly dawned on me that I was suffering from a hallucination, I was acutely aware that Nurse Swan was the only Bella in the room; _my Bella _was hundreds of miles away. Nonetheless I was only able to see the girl from London that I had fallen in love with before I left to fight the war. I was overjoyed at the realisation that I could remember her face yet more than I little concerned that I was suffering from some form of madness. I closed my eyes tightly in hope that when I opened them I would be part of reality once more. I quickly opened them to be confronted with the same wondrous image of Bella that was present when I had closed them.

Like a lightning bolt had hit me, in a flash I became aware I had been most stupid and Nurse Swan was _my Bella._ The shock of the revelation causing me to drop the glass of juice I had been holding so tightly, I was so lost in thought it barely registered that the glass was undoubtedly shattered into a thousand tiny pieces on the floor. I was aware that Bella was speaking to me and her voice was laced with concern, but my mind was too busy replaying the events of the night in Whitechapel. I was more than certain the two women were one and the same. For a brief moment I was utterly elated at the thought of finding my love again, all my turmoil, all the guilt I had been feeling for betraying my Bella and my growing resentment towards Nurse Swan had all been rendered obsolete. But then like a sharp slap across the face my subconscious promptly reminded me that I had been most horrible to her, I had berated her on several occasions even going as far as to bring her personal life into disrepute. Oh dear lord what had I done?

I became aware that I was moving violently back and forth, I rubbed my eyes to see that is was in fact Bella who had been shaking me

"Edward, what's the matter" she was frantic, her concern for me apparent. I blinked returning to normality. ""I'm sorry Lance Corporal, I didn't mean to address you by your first name I know you feel it is disrespectful but you had me most concerned for a moment there"

Instead of scolding her for her use of my christian name, I wished for her to say it again. I wished to hold my girl in a passionate embrace and tell her how happy I was to have found her once more and how full of sorrow I had been living my life without her. My recent conduct and the issue of her being engaged to another man prevented me from acting upon my wishes. I assured her that I was feeling much better but she still insisted on checking my pulse. Her kindness and compassion filled me with joy as she anxiously asked if I had been experiencing any other symptoms or had received a shock. I smiled at her wishing to tell her everything, but instead telling her a half truth

"It is more than inappropriate for me to be saying this so forgive me, but would you believe me if I said I was startled by your beauty? This is the first time I have had the pleasure of seeing you when you are off duty, and what a pleasure it is"

Lance Corporal, I do believe you have gone slightly mad! Did you bump your head yesterday when you fell?" she reached forward to assess whether I was suffering from a fever; her touch against my bare skin was truly wonderful, the smell of her perfume just as intoxicating as I had remembered. If she had accused me of being infirm of mind a few moments ago I would have hastily agreed with her but my mind was presently clear, clearer than it had been since my accident.

I smiled as I told her that she should not be fussing over me and she should instead be out enjoying her day. She smiled at me but she said nothing in return.

"I am dreadfully ashamed of my behaviour yesterday, more ashamed than you will ever realise. I can be a terrible excuse for a man sometimes, I shall not bore you with the reasons why, but I wish for you to accept my deepest apologies." I found it difficult to express the true depths of my regret for treating her so badly but I would give it a jolly good attempt. In an unfaltering world she would accept my apologies and offer me her forgiveness before we confessed our feelings and embraced, however my recent bad behaviour coupled with the fact she was engaged to another man meant this would never happen, the notion left me feeling quite bleak and desolate.

"If I could take back the last few days and erase them, I assure you I would" I looked up at her and sighed before continuing "You have my word that I would if I could" I said seriously, so desperately wanting to hold her, to feel her warmth against me, to savour her mouth watering smell. I was more than aware that these actions would have done me no favours. So instead I settled for taking hold of her delicate hand and squeezing gently before my finger tips began tracing the contours of her hand, I felt an instantaneous flicker of rage and jealousy as my fingers touch her engagement ring. If it had not been for this damned war the ring decorating her hand could have been mine.

"I would be lying if I said that you had not upset me with your outrageous rudeness and your mood swings, however it has not all been bad" she paused before graciously continuing "Yesterday morning was fun, was it not? And you conducted yourself wonderfully yesterday afternoon when I was upset." She bit her bottom lip before continuing "You were a great comfort to me yesterday afternoon Lance Corporal, but then you turn your temper and your ungraciousness on me for reasons I do not understand"

I felt my chest fill with pride at the fact I had been able to comfort her and the fact that she did not believe our time spent together had all been bad.

"Maybe one day I will explain my reasons, but for now would you give me your forgiveness in return for my promise that it will never happen again?" I was truthful in my words as I made a promise to her and I knew that one day I would fully explain my reasoning to her.

She nodded her head and told me I was forgiven, as she made her way to my door I thanked her and told her once more that she was beautiful, and revelled in the sight of her cheeks flushing crimson. As she closed the door I began to rejoice not only had my memory come back to me so had my girl. I was lost in day dreams about Bella when I realised I did not have much time until my family would be arriving. I quickly got into my wheelchair and examined my appearance in the mirror; with the exception of my conceited grin I looked very handsome and dapper. I left my room and set off down the corridor. I was making progress all the time with my wheelchair but I was still a damn sight slower than if I was able to walk, the journey to the entrance hall taking me 15 minutes at least. I arrived just in time to see my mother and father walking hand in hand down the gravel path towards the hospital.

My mother was as usual, dressed impeccably, in a dark green skirt with a jacket to match, her bronze hair perfectly styled and shimmering in the September sun. I could hear her laughing in the distance, while just about making out the sounds of my father's voice. My father looked very smart in his black suit as he ran his hand through his white blond hair. They were chatting animatedly as they approached the entrance to the hospital.

"Mother, Father" I called happily as they came within hearing range.

"Edward dear, is that you?" my mother questioned. I laughed and confirmed that it was me, at which point Mother dashed towards me, leaving my father in her wake and tightly embraced me.

"Oh Edward, I did not expect you to meet us at the door!" she exclaimed joyously and kissed both my cheeks "I thought you would still be in that damned bed!"

"I have been making a lot of progress this last week Mother, in fact I hope to show off my efforts a little later on" I beamed proudly.

"Oh that is wonderful news; I have been so worried about you. Although now I can see my concern has been for nothing as you look exceedingly well my dear"

My father had now caught up and was greeting me as he made his way up the steps towards my mother and I.

"Edward, dear boy, it is so good to see you" he spoke fondly as he slapped me on the back "You are looking awfully well"

We engaged in idle chit chat before I suggested they come and make themselves comfortable in my room. The journey back down the corridor took me a great deal less time than before, as I was so delighted at the prospect of having their company for the day that I almost sprinted the distance to my room. A nurse had noticed my visitors and had bought two chairs to my room and had gone to fetch a tray of tea.

Once our thirsts had been quenched I wasted no time in showing off my standing skills. My mother was so happy with my progress she cried tears of joy, while my father jested that I was nothing but a show off. We spent some time discussing Father's business affairs and Mother's involvement with the Women's Institute. They informed me that Enfield had so far been lucky where the bombing raids were concerned and had not yet sustained any damage; they accredited most of the luck to the blackouts. We had been engrossed in conversation for a good few hours when there was a gentle knock on the door.

Alice acted upon my invitation and entered the room carrying the two bouquets of flowers I had asked her to fetch.

"Alice this is my mother Esme and my farther Carlisle. Mother and father it is my pleasure to introduce you to Nurse Alice Brandon, she has become a close friend of mine"

Alice carefully placed the flowers on the bed before making her way over to the three of us and greeting my family with a handshake and a friendly smile.

"Do you have a few moments to spare with us Alice?" I asked, she nodded and sat daintily on the end of my bed.

She told us about the days shopping trip and a few local points of interest for my parents to see before they travelled back to London. She listened intently as my mother told her all about London and the places to visit and the best places to shop. My father spoke to her about her choice of career and commended her for the kindness she had extended to me.

"Mr and Mrs Cullen it has truly been a pleasure to make your acquaintance. You should both be very proud of your son, he is quite the gentleman. Unfortunately I really must dash now, I have studying to do. I do hope to see you again soon"

"Alice my dear girl the pleasure has been ours" my mother smiled kindly at her "We are not yet sure how long we will be visiting for, but it shall be at least a week. So no doubt we will meet again"

My father began to sing "We'll meet again" by Vera Lynn, rather badly causing us all to giggle and Mother to playfully slap his back.

Alice exchanged a kiss goodbye with both my mother and father and informed them that she would look forward to seeing them again. Before she left the room I casually asked her if she was to see Nurse Swan upstairs to ask her to call down and see me as a matter of urgency. She nodded in agreement before gently closing the door behind her.

"What a pleasant young girl." My father spoke in a serious tone "You appear to have done well in befriending her"

"I cannot disagree with you there Father, she is a lovely lady and is most caring and helpful."

My mother stood up and kissed the top of my head before speaking

"I'm afraid the time has come for us to leave you for today, but do not worry for we shall be back tomorrow. That is if it would not inconvenience you son?"

"I would love to have the pleasure of your company again, I would enjoy it every day if it were an option Mother" I wheeled myself to the bed as I spoke, picking up the bunch of flowers Alice had so kindly purchased for my mother "Before you go, I had Alice get these for you as I am unable to get into town. I hope you will agree that they are beautiful flowers and that she has impeccable taste"

"Oh darling these are wonderful, but you needn't have" she said while cradling the flowers as if they were a baby. "You have always been most thoughtful."

"Now come on Esme, we will have to get these into a vase before they start to wilt. We shall be back tomorrow son and perhaps if the weather is still agreeable you could show us around the grounds?" my father said while gently ushering her towards the door, he patted me on the back before leaving.

It pleased me that they liked Alice and thought she was a good choice of friend and I hoped they would spend a little more time together in the duration of their visit. I wondered if Bella would have the chance to be introduced to them and what my parents would think of the girl who had so successfully captured my heart.

There was a knock at the door, I had only been at the hospital a short time yet I could easily recognise the knock of Bella. I quickly yet carefully put the remaining bunch of flowers out of sight under the bed, before making my way to the French doors and inviting her in. She entered whilst still wearing that lovely polka dot dress, she cast her gaze on the chairs and appeared a little puzzled before looking at me. I greeted her and informed her that the chairs had been for my mother and father she smiled and greeted me. I thanked her for arriving promptly and not making me wait as I had expected her to do. She appeared in high spirits even jesting that my exuberant mood was giving her whiplash time to heal. She continued to joke when I suggested to her that I had something to help her healing process.

"Really? Now I am intrigued. How do you intend to do that? For you have not told me that you are in possession of any medical skills" she laughed as she spoke. I loved to hear her laugh.

"There are plenty of things I have not told you about myself Nurse Swan. If you would be so kind as to take a seat and close your eyes, I would be very grateful"

She did as I had instructed and took a seat where my father had just been seated. I moved to the bed and retrieved the bouquet of roses.

"Now I am aware you have set eyes on this particular _therapy _once before but I am certain you were not aware it was intended for you. Once again Nurse Swan I am truly sorry for my recent behaviour, although you have assured me I am forgiven I was rather hoping this gesture meant we could be friends? You may open your eyes now"

She looked at me with shock and awe as I held up the flowers before placing them across her legs, her gaze quickly fluctuated between me and the flowers and back again. She looked utterly adorable as her eyes filled with tears of joy and she chewed her lip. She asked if they were for her with a disbelieving tone, I nodded and explained that they were part of my apology and for the kindness she had showed me. She looked away from the flowers to speak to me

"Lance Corporal it is my job to be kind and compassionate, I do get paid you know!" she let out a little giggle as she spoke. I was not about to enter a debate with her regarding the reasoning behind her benevolence so I quickly replied

"Nonsense! Your kindness has been above and beyond the call of duty it has just taken me a while to realise it. Despite my behaviour you were most considerate and soaked my bandages when you changed them, every other nurse has taken great pleasure in ripping them off and causing me pain, but not you. You took the time to help me with the standing frame and gave me encouragement, I am led to believe you also secured my use of this wheelchair and above all unlike so many nurses you have never refused to care for me...I really am very grateful Nurse Swan"

She gave me a bashful smile telling me she was grateful for the flowers, before asking me how I knew that roses were her favourite. I in turn replied that Alice had told me. We sat chatting and jesting comfortably for a good while, for my own peace of mind I managed to surreptitiously ascertain that she had spent time working in Whitechapel last year, cementing the fact that she was my Bella. All too soon she announced the time had come for her to leave as she did not wish to stand up Nurse Webber and Nurse Brandon, with whom she would be dining tonight. She was very loyal which I found to be a most admirable trait. I took her up on her offer to help me with some exercises tomorrow, secretly rejoicing at the idea of spending more time with her.

"Well, thank you once again for these lovely flowers I am touched by your generosity" she stood up before placing a gentle kiss on my cheek and leaving my room. The kiss had taken me aback somewhat, reminding me once again of when we first met. My heart rate increased dramatically and my breathing sped up to match it as I grinned inanely, if I had had the chance to see my reflection in a mirror it would not have surprised me if I had been blushing. I felt a little astounded that one peck on the cheek from a girl could cause me to have such a reaction. Nonetheless I was proud of my restraint as I had successfully resisted the overpowering urge to pull her to me and never release her.

The rest of the evening passed slowly, I listened to a good deal of jazz on the radio before finishing my book and picking up the final Agatha Christie book Alice had so kindly secured for me. I got a few chapters in to "Murder on the Orient Express" before noticing that it was rather dark outside. I changed out of my uniform, brushing it down before hanging it on the wardrobe ready to wear tomorrow, and got into bed.

I could not help but think of Bella and I began fingering through my journal searching for the passage I had committed to memory. I pondered the idea of formulating a plan to woo Nurse Swan but my conscience cut short my ideas reminding me she was engaged to another. It would be most unfair to both Bella and her fiancé for me to attempt any form of courtship. That ship had already sailed so I reasoned I would have to make do with her friendship and my dreams of what could have been.

I began counting down the hours and the minutes until we would meet again.

**So Edward has found his Bella!!**

**Carlisle and Esme are visiting for a while, what will they think of Bella when they meet her???**

**Edward is going back in the cupboard now, to let Bella have her say.**

**Let me know what you think**

**Magenta xxx**


	17. Chapter 17

_**Thanks again for all your lovely reviews, reading them makes me smile!**_

_**As usual I am sorry to say that I do not own Edward or twilight.**_

_**Loads of love to my beta, acacia6583, who is totally wonderful and to Niki for all her help.**_

_**Sorry I have not updated sooner ive been busy making t-shirts for my hOOrs!**_

_**Niki's computer has broken so she hasn't been able to check my grammar on this chap so bear with me!!**_

Bella 

Once at the top of the stairs I made my way to my room and put the flowers in a vase on the windowsill. I stood back and admired their beauty for a moment, happy and content in the thought that Edward had returned to me. I entertained myself with the thought that the flowers were almost as beautiful as him. My feeling of contentment was abruptly bought to an end when my eyes skimmed over the picture of Jasper. I was instantly overwhelmed with the feeling of guilt and compunction. I ran from my room and down the corridor. I hastily knocked on Angela's door. I quickly pushed open the door to find her sat at her dressing table reading a medical text book and I was thankful of the fact she was alone.

"Bella? Is everything alright you look a little troubled" she looked concerned as she stood up and slowly walked towards me.

"I'm not sure that it is actually" my voice wavered as I spoke.

"Are you still fretting about Jasper?"

"In a manner of speaking yes, but that is not the whole story." Angela looked mighty confused about what I had said "Oh Angela I have become a wicked and depraved person. On the journey from London to Shrewsbury I appear to have lost my morals and all of my ability to be a decent person"

"It is not healthy that you should regard yourself in this manner. I have told you before you are one of the most decent and sweetest people I know and you are most definitely not wicked and depraved"

I sat on the edge of her bed and felt too ashamed to speak, if Angela knew how I felt I strongly doubted she would use the words decent and sweet to describe me.

"Bella, you need to tell me what is wrong?" she spoke compassionately.

"I think that I maybe in love with two different men" I spat out quickly before I could change my mind about confiding my secrets in her "I thought I was happy with Jasper and I love him dearly, but now Edward has come back to me." the rate at which I was speaking was getting faster and faster as I could start to feel myself panic. My heart was pounding in my chest as I confessed to my crimes "The past few days he has been a terrible man to me, but today he was _my Edward _once more, the man I should have never let go. But poor Jasper I cannot break his heart without breaking mine and Edward doesn't even know who I am!" I could feel myself becoming more and more frenzied and frantic the more I spoke.

"Shh... Bella" Angela knelt in front of me and gently took hold of my wrist, pulling my hand from my hair which I had been unconsciously tugging at "Bella you need to calm down.... you need to breathe" she gently rubbed circles into the palm of my hand to calm me. The action had the desired effect and was indeed quite soothing, after a few moments my breathing returned to normal and my pulse became less rapid but emotionally I was still in turmoil. "Are you sure that you feel so strongly about Lance Corporal Cullen, after all he has only been here a few days?"

"Yes" I said responded immediately "I think so, but maybe not" I threw my hands down onto the bed in defeat "I'm just so utterly confused"

"Dear me, you have been a frightful mess since that ghastly man arrived at this hospital. Have your feelings towards Jasper altered in any way? Why do you doubt your love for him?"

"Angela, you have hardly spoken two words to Edward you cannot just assume he is ghastly!" I spat fiercely at her, she said nothing but looked awfully taken aback. "I'm sorry that was wrong of me it's just that he is an exceedingly troubled man and he is trying his hardest to work through his problems. I can assure you if you took the time to speak with him for a while, that it would become apparent to you that he is just a frightened and lonely man affected by the war"

"I'm sure he has his troubles, I can only begin to imagine the horrors of war but it is no reason to be beastly and unbelievably cantankerous! However you and Alice both seem to have seen a side to him that I have not. Perhaps it is time for me to revaluate my opinion of him and to give you and Alice the benefit of the doubt?"

"I would be dreadfully grateful if you were to try and sympathise with him and perhaps get to know him a little" I said while unsuccessfully trying to crack a smile. "You have my promise that he is a genuine man deep down" an image of Angela stood happily as my bridesmaid while a married Edward flashed through my mind before I chastised myself yet again for thinking like this

"Now what about Jasper?"

"I love Jasper so much Angela, so much that it hurts. But my feeling for Jasper lack the intensity of the way I feel about Edward. I can see my whole life with Jasper, the wedding, the farmhouse, our children and I would be happy I am sure of it, but I feel as if I have used Jasper as my safety net. A man to fall back on when Edward left me in Whitechapel, surely it is dreadfully unfair for him to be second best?"

"I cannot deny that Lance Corporal Cullen is a very attractive man and I can fully sympathise with your physical attraction to him but are you willing to give up Jasper for Edward?"

"I honestly do not know, I cannot bear to even entertain the idea of breaking poor Jasper's heart, he is so innocent and I know he loves me greatly." my voice began to tremble and shake "It would tear me apart to do that to him. If I was to destroy Jasper I have to face the distinct possibility that Edward does not feel the same way about me, and I have done so for nothing. After all it is most obvious that he does not remember me from Whitechapel" I could feel the panic building up inside of me once more threatening to burst out of me at any moment "But then irrespective of the prospect that Edward has no feelings for me, I am still using Jasper as my safety net and it makes me feel so terribly guilty to be...."

"Bella.... Bella .... Breathe, you're getting yourself frightfully worked up" she pulled me into an embrace "Try to calm yourself now" she tenderly rubbed my back as she held me. When my breathing returned to normal she released me and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear and smiled with concern.

"Oh Isabella, you have gotten yourself into a mess. You appear to be very confused by your feelings, I think you should take a few days to think about this, and under no circumstances are you to make any rash decisions OK? I am a firm believer that true love will prevail in the end"

I silently nodded.

"I wish for you to know, you are my dearest friend and I would be lost without you" her voice was sincere "I do not think any less of you for this confusion and more importantly I will stand by you in whatever choice you make. It is a natural part of life to be confused at times"

"Thank you, you truly mean the world to me Angela"

"Now enough of this silliness, you have 10 minutes to compose yourself before we meet Alice for dinner. She is a very observant person so unless you want twenty questions I suggest you try your hardest to appear jolly. In fact if I was you I would skip dinner altogether" she sniggered.

A little sooner than expected a jolly Alice appeared at the door and we walked down to the canteen. We sat down at our usual table with our evening meal in front of us. As Alice and Angela tucked into their food I used my fork to push the food around the plate feeling a little too worked up to actually eat it. I looked to my left to see Nurse Hale sat on her own at a table looking terribly lonesome, out of the twenty or so tables in the canteen she was the only person sat alone.

"Bella, is something troubling you?" Alice asked "it's just you have been staring over there into the distance for quite a while now"

"Nurse Hale looks so lonely and full of sorrow" I sighed "Despite her attitude towards me I cannot help but feel sorry for her"

"Your compassion appears to know no bounds" Alice smiled at me as she spoke "But she is not worthy of your affections, so do not trouble yourself Bella. Like I said before she is reserved and terribly unsociable"

"Alice Brandon I am surprised at your animosity. It is a most unflattering personality trait"

"I do believe it was you who said she was arrogant and pretentious, was it not?" Alice scoffed while loading her fork with more meat and potato pie.

"Maybe I have judged her too quickly. It is always best to give someone a second chance, is it not Angela?" I said referring to our earlier conversation regarding Edward.

"Sometimes it is the decent thing to do, yes" replied Angela. Taking her reply into account I began to stand and make my way over to Nurse Hale.

"Bella, get back here! What on earth are you doing?" the panic in Alice's voice was apparent. I looked behind me to see her eyes wide and her eyebrows raised as she shook her head vigorously while beckoning me to come back with her hands. I flashed a stubborn smile in her direction and continued the short distance to Nurse Hale's table.

"Good evening Nurse Hale." She looked up from her plate of food "I was wondering.... well I.... I would like to apologise for being rude to you the other day. I stand by what I said however I realise I was unduly harsh on you" she looked a trifle confused for a moment and she placed her knife and fork neatly on her tray before gesturing for me to take a seat.

"Thank you Nurse Swan. That is very decent of you however I feel your criticism of my practice was warranted. I have taken your words on board and I assure you there will be no repeat performance of the other day" she smiled apprehensively.

"Umm just one more thing Nurse Hale, please do not be offended when I say you look awfully lonely"

"I cannot deny that fact" her voice was sombre

"Well I was wondering if you would care to come and eat with Nurse Webber and Nurse Brandon and myself?"

"Really?" she looked more than a little surprised, I nodded.

"Thank you that would be lovely"

She picked up her things and moved them to our table. She was very sheepish and bashful to begin with but we were all very careful to include her in our conversations and her confidence grew. She told us that she was transferred her from Coventry shortly before the Germans began bombing the city and that her parents lived far enough outside the city to remain relatively safe from the bombing raids.

I was apparently incorrect in my assumptions about Nurse Hale, once I had spent a little time with her she appeared a nice girl and very genuine and straight forward. I must confess that I almost fell backwards off my chair in surprise and amazement when I heard her laugh at something Alice had said. In all the time I had known her I had not once seen her laugh. We spoke together about our day shopping in Shrewsbury and how jolly it had been, Nurse Hale informed us that in the few months she had been stationed here she had never left the hospital grounds. The fact concerned me a little and when I enquired as to why she told me that she liked to keep abreast of her studies before continuing on to say that she had no one to go out with. I felt genuinely remorseful at her loneliness and made a silent promise to try to be a friend to her. It was getting a little late so I stood up and made my excuses, leaving Angela Alice and Rose giggling and chatting at the table.

I made my way to my room and to my absolute surprise, despite my confusion and turmoil I fell asleep quickly.

It was soon morning and time to go downstairs for my shift. Alice and Angela were waiting for me in the corridor and I was pleasantly surprised that we had company in the form of a very jolly looking Nurse Hale, or Rose as she preferred to be addressed. We journeyed to the ward together briefly working out a shift plan. My first task of the morning was to change Lance Corporal Cullen's dressings, understandably after last time I was feeling a little apprehensive about the procedure. As I collected everything that I would need for the task I reminded myself of Edward's promise to be pleasant and felt a lot better about the situation. Once outside his door my heart began race and butterflies began to flutter in my stomach, while the feeling of guilt swirled around my head. Oh poor Jasper how could I be doing this to him? I tried my very best to remain impassive pushing all these notions and feelings aside. But like the terrible person I have become I only pushed the thoughts of Jasper away, leaving my mind free to think and my body free to feel about Edward.

I knocked and the familiar voice of Edward invited me in.

"Ah Nurse Swan, how nice it is to see you this fine morning" his voice was full of joy and he was positively beaming as he lay on his bed.

"Good Morning Lance Corporal. It is most pleasurable to find you in high spirits despite the fact you are aware I am here to change your dressings."

"I cannot deny that it is a task I regard with total repugnance, but I have not forgotten my promise to be a friend to you" he smiled as moved the table closer to his bed and carefully placed the bowl of water I had been holding on top of it "and I rather believe that your company will make the process more than bearable" his smile utterly dazzled me and I became very grateful I had put down the water for it was a sure fact that if I had not I would have dropped it causing it to be all over the floor. I looked away for a short second to subtly catch my breath.

I began to gently soak his bandages and delicately remove them as he questioned me about my life. I told him that I had grown up just down the road and that I was of American descent. But it seemed this was not enough for him he pressed me for the smallest detail about my parents, my house, my garden even to go ask far to ask the colour scheme in my bedroom. Although I thought his thirst for knowledge was a little peculiar I found myself more than happy to oblige him as it appeared to take his mind completely away from the discomfort in his legs. If I'm honest it also appeared to make him rather happy and as silly as it may be I was rather fond of the idea of pleasing him.

"Well Lance Corporal, your legs are making wonderful progress and are nearly completely healed." I said with a friendly smile "I am just going to apply dressings today as I no longer feel there is a need for the bandages. You are making excellent recovery time and I hope you'll agree that this is wonderful news"

"That is marvellous news dear girl, you have made me very happy"

"I boast of no special healing powers, it is you that has healed yourself" I chuckled.

"I suppose that is true, I would like it to be put on record I am a remarkable man in possession of strong healing powers" he jested with his hands on his hips and his best serious face on display. I burst in to laughter at the scene that was before me, causing Edward to laugh too.

"Lance Corporal, your company is most enjoyable when you are in high spirits" I managed to choke out between giggles "I would even go as far as to say that you are almost likeable"

"Like I said Nurse Swan I am a most remarkable man and on your recommendation I shall add almost likeable to my list of good points"

I calmed myself and began to apply dressings to the wounds that were in need of covering when Edward spoke again but this time in a serious tone.

"Would I be wrong in assuming that you are growing fond of my company?"

"No, I find your company very appealing when you are being nice" I answered honestly

"Well in that case, would it offend you if I was to consider you a friend?" he bit his lip and looked awfully shy as he spoke.

"Not at all Lance Corporal, I would be honoured to be described in such a manner. I believe that if you are able to restrain yourself from reverting back your previous ways that we could become very good friends. If that is what you want, of course?"

"I would be delighted if that was to happen" his voice was sincere "If we are to be friends would you mind addressing me as Edward?"

"Only if you were to address me as Bella" I chuckled

I finished dressing his legs as we chatted, this time he was asking me about my favourite colour, whether I had owned any pets, what my hobbies were and how long I had been a Nurse. I felt most rude constantly speaking about myself and tried to ask Edward a few questions of my own, but he replied that there would be plenty of time for me to ask him questions later on and that he was enjoying getting to know me.

I gave Edward some privacy to wash and dress and I took the soiled dressings to be disposed of. I was busy laughing at Edward saying that he was a remarkable man when I quite literally bumped into Rose. After I had apologised for my clumsiness Rose thanked me for the invitation to dine with us last night and informed me that she had had a very nice time.

"I am just sorry I did not ask you sooner Rose, I feel dreadful for neglecting you over the last few weeks. I hope that we will be spending a little more time together as a foursome" I said genuinely

Rose replied that she thought it was a tremendous idea and told me how fond of Alice and Angela she had become before dashing off to attend to a patient. I returned to Edward to find him fully dressed and yet again looking devilishly handsome in his uniform, the sight took my breath away.

"Bella, my parents will be visiting shortly. It would be a great honour if you would let me introduce you to them"

"I very much doubt that they would wish to meet me, after all I am only a nurse" I blushed as I spoke

"On the contrary, I think they are rather excited at the prospect of meeting you. I hope you don't mind but I took the liberty of telling them all about you yesterday, minus our past indiscretions"

"I am very flattered Edward, but I must dash as unfortunately you are not the only patient that needs my assistance. However I truly look forward to popping in a little later."

"I shall eagerly await your arrival" he flashed me a smile as I left the room.

Around an hour later Rose came to find me and informed me that Lance Corporal Cullen was requesting my company if I was not otherwise engaged. I was frightfully nervous as I made my way to his room. I found him sat with a beautiful copper haired woman and a most handsome and smartly dressed blond man, It suddenly became glaringly obvious as to wear he got his handsomeness from. He politely introduced me to Carlisle and Esme and we greeted each other with handshakes and polite kisses. I stayed and conversed with them for a little over twenty minutes and told them how proud I was of Edward's excellent rate of recovery and all the progress he had made. All the time I was speaking with them I was acutely aware of Edward's every move and his constant warm smile coupled with the fact his eyes rarely strayed from me.

"I am ever so sorry but I must get back to work now, I hope that you do not think me bad mannered. If it would please you Lance Corporal I will come back later, perhaps a little after lunch and we can work on some exercises"

"That would please me a lot" Edward replied the smile still present on his face.

I reported to the nurse's station shortly after leaving Edward's room, to find Alice looking a little pale and flustered in fact she was bordering on distressed. She was sat at the desk fingering a telegram completely unaware that I had entered the room. I cleared my throat to make her aware of my presence, startling her a little before asking if everything was ok.

"Oh hello Bella" all her usual chirpiness had drained from her voice leaving it flat and monotonous "I have just received this telegram telling me my Nan is in ill health in a Birmingham hospital."

"Well you must go to the hospital to be at her side" my voice was intentionally edged with panic.

"But what about here? I have shifts to do and tasks to complete. Surely I cannot just go swanning off for a few days?" she asked her tone still lifeless.

"Alice, if you are needed elsewhere then it is certainly not _swanning off_. I am ordering you to take as much time as you need to be with your grandmother, but to keep me informed as to when you are planning on coming back" I placed my hand on her shoulder and she looked up at me "Angela, Rose and I will manage I'm sure and I will inform the matron as soon as I can"

"Thank you Bella, this is most kind of you"

"I will sort you out a taxi, to take you to the train station this afternoon." I stated "That should give you the few hours you need to pack" I jested with her knowing fore well that she had the tendency to pack twelve suitcases of clothes for one weekend away, Alice smiled at me and embraced me before swiftly leaving the ward.

Before I knew it the shift was over. An anxious Alice had left about 2.30pm and I had waved her off before explaining the situation to Angela and Rose, who were more than confident that the three of us would manage. Once upstairs in my room it suddenly dawned on me with all the commotion I had completely forgotten Edward and my promise to help him. I was rather enjoying Edward's recent company, perhaps a little too much, and I fervently hoped that he would not be angry with me. I hurried to get out of my uniform and put on the one of new dresses that Alice had bought me. Grabbing a cardigan I dashed from my room and all but running down the stairs. Once running down the last flight of stairs I decided to put on my cardigan. I was a little over half way down the stairs with one arm in the sleeve of the cardigan, when in true Isabella Swan style I lost my balance and stumbled and fell. My knees landed on the cold hard floor with a thump yet I was very surprised to find the rest of my landing to be quite soft, surrounded by a pleasant and familiar smell. I looked up to see my worst nightmares confirmed, I had all but landed on Edward's lap, who was no doubt only at the bottom of the stairs to give me a telling off for breaking my promise. I felt myself turn a deep shade of crimson as I stood up and rubbed my sore knees.

"I am so sorry Edward." my panic prevented me from looking at him as I spoke instead I continued to rub my knees "I did not mean to forget you this afternoon and I most certainly did not mean to end up lay across your lap. It was just that Nurse Brandon had received some news and I had to sort some things out for her, then I had to inform the other nurses of the situation. I went upstairs then remembered you which is why I was running down the stairs. Please don't be mad at me I am awfully..."

"Bella, calm down I am not mad at you. I fully understand you have been busy, Nurse Brandon popped in earlier to explain things to me. More importantly how are you feeling after your tumble? Have you hurt yourself in any way?"

"I have hurt my knees a little but I shall live" I was secretly elated by the fact he was concerned and not angry with me. "I think my soft landing has effectively cushioned me from most of the damage"

"I am most glad you are ok, as it means I can laugh at your clumsiness without feeling too guilty" he began to chuckle while I watched him running his hand through his hair "I shall also be adding effective cushion to my list of good points"

"This is no laughing matter Edward" I smirked and playfully slapped him across the shoulder "I could have been seriously injured and it would have been all you fault"

"Erm my fault? How so?" he asked still chuckling with one eye brow cocked.

"Well, it is quite simple really. If it had not been for you _demanding_ that I help you with your exercises then I would not have been in such a hurry and I would not have fallen down the stairs"

"Hmmm, I fail to see your logic on this one Isabella. Perhaps I should have remembered the old saying, a malicious enemy being better than a clumsy friend, and shouted at you" he chuckled.

"Oh really, well if you do decide to shout at me you should know that I am not afraid to shout back"

"I am very aware of that fact dear girl and I have been since we were first introduced" he said playfully "Shall we go to my room and practice these exercises?"

"I think that is a most sensible idea, but we shall have to walk quite slowly as my knees are frightfully sore"

"I think I can fix that problem Nurse Swan" he gave me a sly grin and before I knew it his arms were wrapped tightly around my waist and pulling me on to his lap. I squealed in surprise as he laughed and began to speak "I think you will find travelling to my room in this manner will be most beneficial to your knees. Now hold on tight"

I was sat sideways across his lap with my legs dangling down the side of his chair, my arms wrapped tightly around his neck as we began to move. I screamed and shouted his name as he began to spin his chair in circles

"EDWARD! EDWARD! Stop it, I'm getting dizzy" I beat my one hand on his muscular chest as I shouted. He listened to me and put an end to the tomfoolery and we began making our way down to his room. As we travelled his face was the picture of happiness, he seemed unable to stop grinning and his smile was most infectious.

"Nurse Swan?" a voice called from the nurse's station as we passed. Nurse Malcolm stepped out from the room with her eyes brows raised and her hands firmly placed on her hips, she was a very robust woman and a little frightening to say the least "Having fun are we?" her question was rhetorical I quickly shot out of Edward's chair and straightened myself up instantly missing the warmth of his body. I looked at the floor feeling more than a trifle embarrassed. "You have some post" she said while handing me a brown envelope.

I thanked her as I looked at the letter instantly recognising the handwriting as Jasper's and telling myself I would read it later when I was alone.

I turned my back to continue my journey when she spoke again, "One more thing Nurse Swan, please remember this is a hospital ward not a playground, if you wish to be silly do it in the gardens"

From the corner of my eye I could see Edward trying his hardest not to laugh as I apologised for my silliness and promised to be a little more reserved in future. We finished the rest of the journey in silence. It was instantly broken the minute Edward's door was closed as we simultaneously burst into fits of giggles and began mocking the nurse. After we had composed ourselves somewhat Edward began to use his frame to stand and hold his weight. I asked him about his life before the army but he would not answer me, instead he replied that he had not finished questioning me yet. I laughed and told him he should have grown tiresome of hearing about me by now but he insisted he wasn't. He asked me my favourite colour, he wished to know everything about my school life and my friendships with Angela and Alice and all about my life in London.

"London was fun, but I am glad to be back in the countryside away from the bombing raids. Like I said yesterday I was stationed in a hospital in Whitechapel, it was much busier than here and I hardly had any free time. But when I did have some time to myself Angela and I would attend the local dances, it was there that I met a very special man" my inner self began scolding me for letting that last comment slip out. I wished so much to be able to tell him we had met before but I could not find the confidence to do it. If I am to tell the truth I was also still a little upset that he had forgotten all about me when he had meant so much to me.

"Ah, your fiancé. Nurse Brandon has told me a little about him. She seems very fond of him"

"Yes I do believe even though she has met him only once in the most unfavourable circumstances she has a soft spot for him"

"Well, if he has captured you heart and secured your affections then it is obvious why she would feel that way" his voice seemed full of sorrow as he spoke

"Edward are you ok?" I asked as he stood once more.

"Talking about your fiancé is causing me to feel a little nostalgic about a girl I once knew"

"Do you wish to talk about it? After all you were a great comfort to me the other day and I am more than happy to listen" I placed my hand over his as he gripped tightly to the standing frame.

"Thank you for your concern but now is not the time or the place for me to start reminiscing, all you need to know is that I should have made this girl mine, I should have never have let her go to stray into the arms of another man"

"Oh Edward" I sighed "I do wish you would start being a little more open about yourself. After all I have just described virtually every detail in my life to you. You cannot expect to move on from your problems if you do not talk about them. You can talk to me as a nurse or as a friend and I assure you I will keep it to myself"

"Maybe if you were to come and see me tomorrow, I would feel more comfortable in talking about myself" the tension is his voice was obvious.

"Right well that is sorted then Lance Corporal, I shall come and see you tomorrow after my shift has finished. Perhaps we could have dinner together in the garden as I learn all about you" I smiled "But for now let us concentrate on you exercises. You are doing far better than expected with the standing frame would you feel comfortable trying to stand without the frame?"

He nodded so I moved the frame away. I removed my heals making myself a little more stable and stretched out my arms offering him my hands. He looked up at me with a confused expression; I explained that he should take my hands to help him stand. He reached out for my hands and took each one gently in his, my heart beat began racing at his warm touch. If I am honest I liked the feeling of my hand being inside his a little too much. He stood up quite gracefully distracting me from my thoughts, I praised him before telling him to let go of my right hand but continue to hold my left. He looked a little anxious but I reassured him it would be ok, he bit his bottom lip as he stood with only my one hand for support. Of his own accord he slowly let go of my other hand and smiled proudly as his face lit up at the fact he was standing totally unaided.

"Bravo Edward bravo! I am exceptionally proud of you" I exclaimed as he took hold of my hands again so he could sit down

He was like a small excitable child as he asked if we could do it again and I found this fact adorable. We practiced for a further half hour before sitting down and chatting I announced that I was dreadfully hungry and that I needed to study. His face sank at my words

"Do not worry I shall be back in the morning to help you once more. And try your hardest not to forget that we have a dinner date tomorrow evening"

"Thank you Bella, I am really looking forward to it. You are most kind to give me the level of care that you do"

"You deserve every moment of it. Good evening Edward"

"Sleep well" he said as I left the room.

As I smiled at the fun I had had with Edward this afternoon, Jasper's letter began burning in my pocket causing the feeling of guilt to flare up in my stomach. Suddenly I was no longer hungry, I decided to retire to my room and read the letter.

**What's in Jasper's letter? Is it good or bad?**

**Let me know what you think of the chapter and I'll let Edward out of the cupboard again **

**Magenta xx**


	18. Chapter 18

_**So many comments about Jazz, I really wanna be able to answer all your concerns and tell you what's gonna happen but it would spoil it so I wont!**_

_**Loads of love to my beta, acacia6583, who is totally wonderful and to Niki for all her help.**_

_**As with the last chapter bare with me, Niki still hasn't got her computer fixed!**_

_**Thanks so much to all of you that review I love hearing what you think, and to all those that read and don't review, please leave me just one review pretty please. I like to know what you all think!**_

_**I'm letting Edward out of the cupboard now.**_

Edward 

For the first night in a long time I slept soundly dreaming of Nurse Swan without the feeling of inherent guilt for Bella. Over the last few days the feeling had become a substantial part of my existence. Existence may seem an odd choice of word, but from the moment of my accident until yesterday when I found Bella again, my life had been nothing more than an existence. I had no desires or wants, other than her. I had no hopes or dreams, besides being with Bella and she was gone. I just existed for the sake of existing. Alice had bought a little hope back into my life and she was my one ray of sunshine on an otherwise cloudy day. However the joy she had given me was nothing compared to the sheer delight of finding my girl again. Alice was still my ray of sunshine and I would be eternally grateful to her, but the clouds in my sky had dispersed leaving it clear for me to see Bella, my own personal sun. She was a beautiful sight and I revelled in the warmth and the light that she provided and just like the sun her light gave me life. She had become my sole reason for living.

My dreams had been most pleasant and I felt it a terrible shame to wake up and leave them behind, but my sun would be here in the flesh soon enough. There it was, the familiar knock on my door. The loud knocking on an otherwise silent morning did not startle me it was almost if I had been aware she was outside my door, like I could feel her presence.

"Ah Nurse Swan, how nice it is to see you this fine morning" I had never been so pleased to see someone's face in my entire life and my joy was apparent as I spoke.

"Good Morning Lance Corporal. It is most pleasurable to find you in high spirits despite the fact you are aware I am here to change your dressings."

I had been so terribly busy anticipating having her company that I had forgotten about the impending pain I was about to suffer. The pain did not seem to be as much of a dread as it had been on past occasions, I would willingly endure the pain causing by walking over hot coals or sleeping on a bed of nails for her.

"I cannot deny that it is a task I regard with total repugnance, but I have not forgotten my promise to be a friend to you and I rather believe that your company will make the process more than bearable"

She smiled and her cheeks reddened a little before she started to soak my bandages and gently unwinding them. I asked her one simple question regarding where she had spent her childhood before developing an insatiable thirst for more knowledge. As she continued to conscientiously work on my legs I began pressing her for the tiniest of details, the urge to know everything about her was uncontrollable. I seemed unable to learn enough about her. It was if I was suddenly suffering from an addiction and I could do nothing to satiate it, nothing but her answers could placate and soothe my burning desire. I even went as far as to ask her the most ludicrous and nonsensical questions such as her what her favourite pudding was, apparently it was warm apple crumble with clotted cream and I also discovered she was more than a little partial to roast potatoes.

She informed me my legs were well on their way to being fully healed and that she would just apply a few dressings as I was no longer in need of the bandages. The news was wonderful and we jested about my possession of healing powers.

"Lance Corporal, your company is most enjoyable when you are in high spirits. I would even go as far as to say that you are almost likeable" she stifled her giggles just long enough to speak. The light and warmth she radiated was much stronger when she was happy and sight of her smiling and laughing warmed my heart

"Like I said Nurse Swan I am a most remarkable man and on your recommendation I shall add almost likeable to my list of good points" I spoke whilst raising my eyebrows.

As she began dressing my shrapnel wounds I asked her if she was growing fond of my company, I was pleased to hear that she enjoyed my companionship when I was behaving myself.

"Well in that case, would it offend you if I was to consider you a friend?" I was awfully bashful about asking this question but I thought it best to get it out in the open and find out my standing with her.

"Not at all Lance Corporal, I would be honoured to be described in such a manner. I believe that if you are able to restrain yourself from reverting back your previous ways that we could become very good friends. If that is what you want, of course?" to say I was delighted by this answer would have been a gross understatement. We decided that if we were to be friends it would be best to address each other as Bella and Edward as opposed to our formal titles.

My desire to know everything about her returned and I quenched it by asking more absurd questions. The poor girl was most likely to feel as if she was in custody of the Spanish Inquisition, but she did not seem perturbed by my constant questioning, perhaps a little embarrassed maybe, but definitely not perturbed. I managed to ascertain that she was not a fan of football nor had she ever owned a goldfish.

"You shall have your turn to learn about me Miss Swan but at the moment it is my turn to question you and I must confess I am enjoying it immensely" I said in response to her asking a few questions about my life. She smiled and let out a pretend huff of disappointment but did not argue. She left the room to allow me to wash and dress before returning to finish clearing away her equipment. I was utterly elated when she agreed to come back later so I could introduce her to my parents.

Shortly after Bella left my room I began making my way towards the entrance hall to greet my parents. On the short journey I passed Nurse Hale, she was behaving most oddly, smiling in fact. She had not spoken one word to me after I had offended her on my first day at Bicton but this morning happily greeted me and wished me a pleasant day with my visitors. I was a little shocked by her happy demeanour and I briefly considered the idea that she had a more favourable identical twin who had kindly offered to work her shift for her. I quickly dismissed the idea after realising that although she was very fond of herself and more than a little pretentious she was nowhere near spiteful enough to be an evil twin. My thoughts caused me to unintentionally chuckle out loud as I wished her a nice day in return.

I didn't have to wait long before I saw the familiar figures I had been waiting for walking towards me. My mother greeted me by embracing me tightly and kissing my forehead, my father opted for the more traditional handshake. We made our way down to my room where Alice kindly bought everyone a cup of tea before swiftly returning to work.

"Edward we have bought you a small gift" my mother said as she handed me a brown paper bag. I peeked inside to find a bottle of brandy and a bottle of Laphroaig single malt whiskey, or heaven in liquid form as my father always described it

"We know how much you like an evening tipple lad and I'm pretty sure you don't get out to the pub as much as you would like" my father smiled fondly as he spoke and I thanked them both.

Once they had quenched their thirsts with tea Father suggested we take a walk around the grounds and enjoy the last of the summer sun.

"That is a top-notch idea Father and I am more than happy to accompany you both. However I'm afraid you will have to push me as I am yet to perfect my off road skills"

My father obliged and we set off round the gardens. We chatted idly about trivial issues as we walked, before discussing the more serious issue of the war. My father became a little upset when he told me off the death of Garrett. Father and Garrett had never been the closest of friends but they had done business together several times and he had visited our house for dinner one more than one occasion. Last week Father had learnt that he had been killed in a bombing raid just a few feet from the safety of an air raid shelter in South London. No one spoke for a few moments either taking in what had been said or offering silent condolences for the man, perhaps even both. The silence was broken when we stopped at a bench near the entrance to the hospital.

"So Edward you seem to have found yourself a much needed confidant in young Alice. Would you be so kind as to tell me a little about her?" Mother asked as her and father seated themselves on the faded wooden bench.

I watched as Father took Mother's hand and held it tightly, after thirty years together they were still very much in love. I was happy for them yet felt somewhat envious of their closeness, they were lovers, the best of friends and they knew everything about each other. They had everything I craved for in a relationship, yet I could only fantasise about it and stand back and watch as my soul mate married another man. I began to tell them briefly of Alice's life in Birmingham with her Nan, not wishing to betray her trust I mentioned nothing of Demetri. I went on to tell them how she had a kind-hearted and lively personality before Mother asked about whether she would have the chance to meet the other nurse I had mentioned.

"You mean Nurse Swan" it was typical of my mother not to remember names "If we were to retire to my room I could inquire as to whether she is busy or not, if you would like?"

"I would like that very much darling" she sounded eager as she spoke.

As we made our way into my room Nurse Hale was removing our dirty tea cups, I asked her if she could find Nurse Swan and let her know I was requesting her company for a few moments if she was not otherwise engaged. Nurse Hale pleasantly agreed and promptly left the room in search of Bella.

It was not long before I heard her familiar knock at my door and Bella entered. At first she seemed a little apprehensive, I watched the almost invisible changes she made to her posture as she started to relax. She soon appeared perfectly content to be in the company of my family and chatted easily with both my mother and father. All too soon she announced that she had to get back to the ward, but offered to come back later and help me with my exercises. The offer pleased me greatly and I wasted no time in accepting it.

"Edward!" my father stated as soon as Bella had left the room, I looked at him as he continued to speak "You sly old dog, you like her don't you?" I stared incredulously at my father but said nothing as he smiled knowingly at me "Do not try to deny it son I have witnessed firsthand the way you look at her"

"I think she likes you too Edward" my mother's tone was one of unadulterated delight "She looks at you in the same manner, in fact she could hardly take her eyes off you my dear"

"Nurse Swan and I are friends nothing more" both of my parents raised their eyebrows in disbelief of my statement "I'll have you know that she is engaged, and before you ask Mother, no it is not me who she is engaged to"

"Oh, that is a shame you would make such a lovely couple" my mother said remorsefully

"Well she _is_ engaged, so you shall have to get used to the idea that we will never be a couple" my voice was unintentionally laced with sorrow

"You are such a defeatist. She is _engaged_ Edward, not married"

"Mother!" I scolded as my father was busy sniggering at my mother's audacity "That is a ghastly thing to say!"

"I am just speaking the truth, am I not Carlisle?"

"There is only room for one in the hole you have just dug Esme, so please do not try to drag me into it as well" my father replied still sniggering

"Until she takes her vows there is still a chance for you two to be happy together" my mother said, ignoring my father's previous comment.

I looked to the right of my mother directly at my father who had started to mime the actions of digging a hole with a spade and throwing the dirt over his shoulder. I began to laugh which in turn caused Mother to also look to her right, she smiled ever so sweetly before picking up her handbag, pulling back her arm and swiftly clouting my father in the chest with it.

"Carlisle! How many times I have I told you that decent parenting is about teamwork? You are supposed to support everything I say. Our son may have turned 24 in recent months but we still have to work together." She jested.

"I will start to lend my support to your ideas and views when you begin to offer you support to mine dear" he said playfully.

"Well as your views make little to no sense at the best of times I won't hold my breath darling" she flashed him a mischievous smile then announced that it was time for them to leave before she could find something more substantial to batter my father with.

I waved them off as they left through the French doors. No sooner than I had pulled the doors to, there was a hurried knock at my bedroom door. A very anxious looking Alice made her way into my room and sat on my bed, her normal happy expression was nowhere to be seen and her eyes lacked their spark.

"Hello Alice dear. What on God's earth is the matter? I have never before seen you without a smile, the sight is a trifle distressing"

I quickly realised I had lied, once before I had seen her without her smile it was when she was speaking of Demetri's passing, the notion made me worry.

"I am going away for a few days Edward, my grandmother has been taken ill and I need to be at her side. I thought it only courteous to come and tell you"

"You should not be wasting precious time with me, I'm sure Nurse Swan would have informed me later when she comes to help me with my exercises" I had wheeled myself closer to her and as a means of offering comfort I placed my hand on hers "I sincerely hope it is nothing too serious with your grandmother"

"I have just gotten off the phone to the hospital; the nurses there think she is suffering from a water infection. But it is causing her to be most confused and unlike her normal self. She is asking for my company almost constantly." Her usual cheeriness was absent from her voice.

"I'm sure you are worrying too much and she will be fine. However you need to put your mind at ease so you should go and start readying yourself for the journey" I gentle squeezed her hand before she stood up and began making her way to my door.

"Thank you Edward, yet again you have proved yourself a good friend" her voice sounded a little more normal and a little sparkle had returned to her eyes "One more thing before I go, Nurse Swan is dreadfully busy sorting out the mess I am causing with my absence please to not be harsh one her if she is late getting to you"

"You have my word Alice"

"I will see you soon" she said as she opened the door to leave.

"Goodbye. Please don't be away too long as I shall miss your company dearly" I truly meant every word that passed my lips.

"I will do my best" she forced a smile as she left my room.

A short while after Alice had left my room I watched through the glass of the French doors as she departed in a taxi. I decided now would be the perfect time to begin making my way down to the entrance hall to discover whether Bella would be helping me this afternoon.

I was just approaching the bottom of the staircase when I heard the most peculiar sound. I abruptly stopped and listened, it was a similar sound to that of a herd of baby elephants running down the stairs. If I am honest that is a most unfair comparison as I have never been in the immediate vicinity of one elephant yet alone a herd of them and I had certainly never heard them stomping down the stairs. Needless to say the noise was an awful racket. I was about to move backwards in case of the unlikely event that a piece of furniture was rolling down the stairs of its own accord, when Bella rounded the corner on to the bottom flight of stairs. She appeared to be in an almighty hurry, she had managed to successfully put one arm into the sleeve of the black cardigan she was carrying but appeared to be having great difficulty getting her other arm in. Her struggle threw her off balance and she stumbled and fell. She began bouncing her way down the last seven or so steps on her bottom before landing face first in to my lap.

I stifled my initial urge to laugh at the hilarious scene I had just witnessed as Bella was yet to move. She lay silent and motionless on my legs for a few moments before she looked up at me with her eyes wide open and sporting an expression of utter shock. She blushed a violent shade of crimson before standing up and rubbing her knees.

"I am so sorry Edward. I did not mean to forget you this afternoon and I most certainly did not mean to end up lay across your lap. It was just that Nurse Brandon had received some news and I had to sort some things out for her, then I had to inform the other nurses of the situation. I went upstairs then remembered you which is why I was running down the stairs. Please don't be mad at me I am awfully..." she was speaking terribly quickly and I decided it was for the best to interrupt her before she fainted from lack of oxygen.

"Bella, calm down I am not mad at you. I fully understand you have been busy, Nurse Brandon popped in earlier to explain things to me. More importantly how are you feeling after your tumble? Have you hurt yourself in any way?"

"I have hurt my knees a little but I shall live. I think my soft landing has effectively cushioned me from most of the damage" her voice was less flustered now but she was still a little crimson.

"I am most glad you are ok, as it means I can laugh at your clumsiness without feeling too guilty." I began to laugh as I continued to jest "I shall also be adding effective cushion to my list of good points"

I revelled in the playful banter as she explained how it was my fault she fell, try as I might I failed to see her logic on the matter and I suggested we made our way to my room. Bella hesitated a little before answering my suggestion.

"I think that is a most sensible idea, but we shall have to walk quite slowly as my knees are frightfully sore" she looked down at them as she spoke. To be honest I could fully understand her concern about walking, she had landed with a dreadful bump on the hard floor not to mention the bangs to her bottom as she came down the stairs. It would more than likely cause her to be somewhat embarrassed if I was to ask about her bottom so I resisted the temptation.

"I think I can fix that problem Nurse Swan" I gave her my best devilish grin as I simultaneously wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her on to my lap. She appeared to be enjoying herself as she squealed with shock "I think you will find travelling to my room in this manner will be most beneficial to your knees. Now hold on tight" I chuckled as I began to rapidly spin my wheelchair in tight circles.

I could fully understand Bella's shock at my actions as I was a little shocked by my boldness. Nonetheless I basked in the delight of having so close to me. She was sat sideways across my lap, her legs dangling over the side of the chair and her arms holding tightly around my neck. She had her head pressed against my shoulder allowing me to feel the wonderful sensation of her warm breath against my throat.

"EDWARD! EDWARD!" she shouted, my name had never sounded so good "Stop it, I'm getting dizzy" she began pounding her fist against my chest to attract my attention. I stopped spinning and began to travel in a more sensible manner towards my room. As she lifted her head away from my shoulder and looked at me, l automatically paused for a second to return her gaze. She was smiling and appeared happier than I had ever seen her, she was truly beautiful. We travelled at a reasonable pace along the corridor, yet despite the modest pace she did not release her arms from around my neck and I savoured the feeling of having them there.

A rather intimidating nurse stepped out of the nurse's room calling for Bella's attention. She leapt from my chair and straightened herself up, I instantly craved her touch again as I felt like a piece of me had been removed. The nurse, I believed to be Nurse Malcolm handed Bella a letter which she briefly looked at before putting it unceremoniously in her pocket. Bella turned to walk away when the nurse spoke once more, her voice full of authority as she scolded Bella.

"One more thing Nurse Swan, please remember this is a hospital ward not a playground, if you wish to be silly do it in the gardens"

It was taking every ounce of strength I possessed not to laugh at the nurse who was addressing us as if we were primary school children. I wished for Bella to reply with a witty remark but instead she did the more sensible thing and apologised, presumably to avoid any further trouble. We both remained composed until my bedroom door was shut behind us, immediately the stifled laughter was released. Bella did her best Nurse Malcolm impression causing me to laugh to the point where I developed a cramp in my side. We took a short while to regain our composure before beginning my exercises.

Once I was standing Bella asked me why I chose to sign up for the army,

"Miss Swan, I do believe you are forgetting our earlier conversation. I will take this chance to remind you that I have not finished my interrogation yet" I continued on asking her questions about her school life and her friendships with Nurse Weber and Nurse Brandon. I was not surprised to hear that she had known Nurse Webber since her school days as on the odd few occasions I had seen them together they had appeared very close. I then quizzed her on the time she had spent in London.

"London was fun, but I am glad to be back in the countryside away from the bombing raids. Like I said yesterday I was stationed in a hospital in Whitechapel, it was much busier than here and I hardly had any free time. But when I did have some time to myself Angela and I would attend the local dances, it was there that I met a very special man"

How I yearned for that special man to be me but I knew that she was referring to her fiancé

"Ah, your fiancé. Nurse Brandon has told me a little about him. She seems very fond of him"

"Yes I do believe even though she has met him only once in the most unfavourable circumstances she has a soft spot for him"

"Well, if he has captured you heart and secured your affections then it is obvious why she would feel that way" I tried my best to hide my melancholy as I spoke, judging from Bella's next question I had obviously not been successful.

"Edward are you ok?"

"Talking about your fiancé is causing me to feel a little nostalgic about a girl I once knew" I spoke quietly while trying to hold my balance.

"Do you wish to talk about it? After all you were a great comfort to me the other day and I am more than happy to listen" she offered as she placed her hand on mine.

I wished I could tell her how I felt and ask her if she remembered me. I wished I could tell her about the circumstances of my accident, how I had not slept one night since meeting her without thinking of her. Most of all I wished to tell her I loved and adored her, how I wished to hold her and kiss her, but the issue of her having a fiancé prevented me from acting upon my desires.

"Thank you for your concern but now is not the time or the place for me to start reminiscing, all you need to know is that I should have made this girl mine, I should have never have let her go to stray into the arms of another man" it was the most appropriate reply I could muster.

She seemed dejected by my reply and almost begged me to open up. I felt very touched by her concern and suggested that perhaps tomorrow would be a better day for me to explain myself to her and she decided that she would spend her afternoon off with me. I rejoiced in the fact that I would have tonight and tomorrow morning to think about what I would say to her.

We went on to try a new type of exercise which involved holding her hands for support instead of the frame. I managed it quite well and she appeared proud of me and praised my accomplishment, I yearned to tell her that holding her hands was the best praise I could ask for. She asked me to let go of her one hand causing me to be unbalanced for a fraction of a second. Once I regained my balance I let go of her other hand and I was standing totally unaided. I felt myself swell to bursting point with overwhelming pride and delight. I stood for a minute or so before talking Bella's outstretched hands again sitting down.

"Bravo Edward bravo! I am exceptionally proud of you" she cheered as I sat down. We continued to practice this for a good while before Bella told me it was time for her to leave and promised we could practice again tomorrow. She reminded me of our dinner date tomorrow evening before I thanked her and wished her goodnight. Under normal circumstances I would be overjoyed by her use of the word dinner date but all I could think of was how I would answer her questions and the notion left me feeling apprehensive.

I pushed the thought to the back of my mind assuring myself I would address the issue in the morning. I quickly readied myself for bed longing for my dinner to arrive so I could go to sleep. I had never before been so eager to rush to my bed and fall asleep but closing my eyes and dreaming was the only place I could have Bella at my side.

I was woken in the morning by an unfamiliar banging sound, it took me a few moments to realise the noise was someone knocking at my door. I yelled out for whom ever it was to enter, I was most surprised to see Nurse Webber. I was not really familiar with Nurse Webber as I had spent very little time in her company.

"Good morning Lance Corporal. How are you this morning?" she chirped

"A little tired but other than that I am well, and you?" I asked

"I am very well thank you" she said as she peeked through my curtains at the gardens "It is a shame I cannot say the same about the weather, it is very wet and miserable out there today."

My first thoughts were that there would be no picnic with Bella today, perhaps we would find something indoors to do? Nurse Webber spoke disturbing my reverie

"Nurse Swan has asked me to help you to get ready this morning as she is otherwise occupied. I hope that is ok with you?"

I nodded and smiled.

"Has there been any word from Nurse Brandon yet? I'm sure you are aware of our friendship and it is needless to say I am a little worried about her"

"We have heard nothing as yet. Nurse Swan is busy trying to get a hold of her on the phone as we speak, but you know what they say no news is good news"

"Very true, very true" I replied as she stood at the foot of my bed smiling at me intently. Her expression confused me somewhat. "Nurse Brandon do I have something silly on my face? It's just you are looking at me very strangely" I chucked

"You have no idea who I am do you?" she said pleasantly

"I'm afraid you have thoroughly confused me. You are Nurse Webber are you not?"

"That I am. But we have briefly met once before, a long time before you came here."

"When?" I asked my feeling of confusion getting stronger. I was beginning to wonder if something had happened to Nurse Webber causing her to become slightly mad.

"Ahh that would be telling Lance Corporal. You have a think about it while I go and fetch you some water for you to wash and shave" she teased.

I thought frightfully hard to recall her face, so hard that I gave myself a headache before giving up and awaiting her return.

"I give up! Please tell me the answer" I said as she walked through my door. She placed the bowl of water on the table next to my bed before asking if it was ok to perch on the edge of my bed, I nodded in reply to her question.

"Almost one year ago you were stationed in Whitechapel were you not?" she asked cautiously.

"Yes I was. What of it?"

"Did you ever attend any dances while you were there?"

"Yes I attended a few, I take it I made your acquaintance at one of these afore mentioned dances? I feel dreadful that I cannot place your face"

"It is nothing to feel dreadful about; it is totally understandable to have forgotten me after all we only met for the briefest of moments." She smiled at me before standing up and continuing "However as you spent most of the evening chatting with Nurse Swan and you seemed quite smitten with her I did not think you would have forgotten her so easily." My mouth hung open with shock "She has certainly never forgotten you Lance Corporal" she said as she left the room.

**So......**

**Please let me know what you think**

**Magenta xx**


	19. Chapter 19

_**My beta, acacia6583 totally rocks! Niki is wonderful but is still lacking a computer!**_

_**I do not own twilight or any of its characters *sad face***_

_**Thank you to those who reviewed, sorry I haven't got back to any off you but FF isn't letting me reply for some reason. It's also not sending me updates!**_

_**I'm updating a little earlier than planned as I'll be on holiday for a week starting tomorrow, and I'm taking Edward with me!**_

_**So yeah, naughty Angela at the end of the last chapter!**_

_**I'll hand over to Bella now who is going to read Jasper's letter especially for Black Hale.**_

Bella 

I had been sat at my desk in my nightdress staring out of the window into the dark evening for at least an hour. I had been most busy trying to determine the nature of my feelings for Edward and Jasper as Angela had suggested, while spinning Jasper's letter round and round in my hands. For reasons I was unable to fathom I was afraid to open his letter, perhaps it was because I was worried about its contents, perchance it was because of my ever strengthening feelings towards Edward or maybe I wished to forget Jasper altogether. Either way my inner voice began to scold me, _Isabella Swan, it is just a letter, just a little piece of paper, for heaven's sake open the damned thing._ I listened to my own advice and with a sigh slowly tore the envelope open revealing a folded piece of white paper.

_**Bella, my love,**_

_**I hope this letter finds you in good health.**_

_**I realise this is more than a little cliché however I shall write it anyway....**_

_**As I write this I am in Shrewsbury but by the time you read this I will be gone, **_

_**more than likely fighting upon foreign soil.**_

_**It was with great regret that I have left your side and it has since caused me an immeasurable amount of pain and unimaginable torment.**_

_**It has truly been the hardest thing I have ever had to do.**_

_**I wish for you to know that despite the fact we are sleeping under different skies you are still the only star I see you will always be on my mind.**_

_**I promise you that you will be my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night.**_

_**I shall be back soon my darling to make you my wife, but for now**_

_**I will make do with writing to you at every opportunity to let you know how much I love and miss you.**_

_**Forever yours,**_

_**Jasper.**_

_**Xxx**_

I held my head in my hands and silently wept. He loved me so much, if I was to tell him of the turmoil I was experiencing it would surely break his heart. Being the kind hearted gentleman he is though he would show no anger towards me or the man I had affections for. He would be understanding and supportive and he would wait as long as it took for me to decide. He would apply no pressure for me to choose him or hurry me for a decision. He would not raise his voice or lose his temper with me even if I decided not to choose him. My recent feelings had earned me a stern chiding, I surely deserved to hear a piece of Jasper's minddid I not? Alas, I knew I would not get the treatment I deserved from Jasper, because he was a kind, gentle and good man. This fact just made the ghastly situation even more impossibly difficult. I folded the piece of paper before putting it back in its envelope, as I did so I gave myself a rather nasty paper cut along the side of my index finger. I looked at the dark coloured blood seeping from the small gash before wiping it clean on a piece of tissue. I was surprised at how sore it actually was, but then again it was a fraction of the pain and punishment that I deserved in light of my recent actions.

I had made my choice months ago and I had since agreed to marry Jasper and I would be happy with him. He would be a wonderful husband and good father and he would look after his family. As for Edward, he would be leaving the hospital and no doubt heading back to London as soon as his legs had healed and he could walk. I would never see him again and I was already well practiced at the art of pushing away all thoughts of him. The thought of him leaving me again caused me to feel a dreadfully painful crack in my heart. Until the day he left we would remain as friends but nothing more, for I had chosen Jasper.

I got into my bed and repeated the last line of my thoughts over and over until I fell asleep.

xxxxxx

Once Angela, Rose and I had received a handover from the night nurse we organised a jolly efficient shift plan before taking a few minutes to enjoy an early morning drink. It was decided that the very jubilant and smiley Rose would be on bathing duty while Angela would see to Edward and the other patients who were unable to get their wounds wet. The patients always seemed in higher spirits when Rose had helped them to bath. I would like to have been able to put this down to the quality of her work, however although her work was of the highest standard it was her flirtatious nature and her apparent doctorate in fluttering her eyelashes that put a smile on their faces. In the past I had found this fact frightfully annoying and bordering on inappropriate, but now that I had got to know Rose a little better and regarded her in a more favourable manner I thought it quite amusing. She had most of the patients on the ward wrapped around her little finger and they would often go out of their way to please her, which made her job much easier and pleasurable. I was also pleased with myself for making the effort to befriend her when she appeared so lonely, as she seemed so much happier and amicable now that we were all friends. I thought to myself that at least I had one redeeming quality.

As much as it pained me to spend time away from him, I was furtively delighted that Angela would be dealing with Edward this morning. It would give her the much needed time with him to see that in fact Edward was not a monster. I began to hope that she would see why I had such strong feelings for him and that she would notice how his smile lit up a room, what a glorious shade of bronze his hair was and how funny and charming his was. _ISABELLLA SWAN! _My inner self roared. _Do you remember nothing of last night, you chose Jasper! You have made your bed now you must lie in it._ My inner voice was right as usual, I chose Jasper in Whitechapel and again last night. Perhaps the time away from Edward would give me time to evaluate the normal boundaries of a friendship so I could behave accordingly when we spent time together later in the day.

I decided to make my way to see the matron and explain Alice's situation before I would attempt to call the hospital where she was visiting to see how they both were and if I could ascertain any further details on when she would be returning.

I made my way slowly up the stairs, contemplating my friendship with Edward and it boundaries. For a brief second I entertained the idea of asking Angela to deal with him from now on, enabling me to avoid all contact with him. I knew straight away I could not do this; I would effectively be torturing myself. I concluded that I was a big girl, a woman in fact and that with a little practice I could keep my emotions in check.

Before I knew it I was stood outside of the matron's office. Once she had invited me into the room and I had taken my usual seat opposite her at the grand wooden desk.

"Hello Nurse Swan, how can I be of use to you today?" she said warmly

"I have come to tell you of a situation that has unfolded on the ward Matron" I said after I had cleared my throat.

"Does the situation concern Lance Corporal Cullen? If he is a problem to you and the other nurses I can always request that he be removed and sent to another hospital"

"No it does not concern the Lance Corporal." I spoke hurriedly, distraught at the thought of him being moved on "He was more than a little cantankerous when he first arrived but now he has adjusted to his surroundings and the way of life here he is most charming and entertaining. This particular situation is regarding Nurse Brandon"

"I am impressed that you have managed to tame the notorious Lance Corporal. Many have tried and failed but right from the beginning I have had every faith in your abilities."

"Erm, thank you." I blushed as I spoke "Although you should be aware that Nurse Brandon has played the biggest part in his behaviour change"

"Ah yes Nurse Brandon. Now do tell me of this situation"

I explained about Alice having to go away for a few days to be with her grandmother and informed the matron that Angela, Rose and I were comfortably managing the shifts without her.

"That is fine Nurse Swan, I am a great believer that family matters should always come before your job. Do you have any idea when she will be coming back?"

"At the present moment, no. But I don't imagine her to be gone longer than a couple of days, I was intending to try and contact her at the hospital as soon as we had finished here"

"That is a jolly good idea, it is always best to know where you stand in these matters." She said as she took her glass and readied herself to take a sip of the water "I am glad you came to see me this morning as I needed to tell you that for the next month or two I shall be residing at Shelton hospital. It is only a few miles down the road and I'm sure you are aware it has only recently opened. They are in great need of my help to get procedures running smoothly, so I shall be spending a good deal of time there. I will be here a few hours a day as and when needed, but you shall not see much of me. I trust you and the other nurses implicitly to continue your high standard of work while I am gone."

"I trust you will be contactable if needed? Although I do not foresee needing to contact you for any reason"

"Yes, I shall leave details with you all. If that is all Nurse Swan then you have my permission to get back to your ward"

"Thank you Ma'am" I said as I stood from my chair and made my way towards the door.

I telephoned the hospital where Alice's grandmother had been admitted after being taken ill and had a brief discussion with Alice. She seemed jolly and in high spirits, most of all she seemed relieved that her grandmother was on the mend. All being well her grandmother would be discharged from the hospital the following evening, once at home Alice intended to stay the night with her before returning to Bicton. I quickly located Angela and Rose and informed them of the good news, both were more than happy to hear of Alice's impending return. It was quickly decided that after our shift had finished Angela would call upon her parent's and retrieve a few bottles of homemade wine and the three of us would celebrate the good news. After all there was a war on meaning celebrations had become few and far between so Alice's return and her grandmothers good health seemed a good excuse as any. Rose excused herself from the conversation taking place in the nurse's station to attend to a patient; I instantly leapt upon the opportunity to see how Angela had found Edward this morning.

"I'm sorry I have not been on the floor much this morning. Did all go well with Lance Corporal Cullen?" I did my best to sound nonchalant as I spoke Edward's name.

"Yes, I rather think it did actually" she replied as a deliberately smug smile spread across her face, her reply causing me to become confused. I took a moment before I spoke.

"Would you care to elaborate Angela?" I raised my eyebrows as I asked the question, still feeling a trifle confused

"Well, where would you like me to start? He is still firmly in possession of his dashing good looks and he somehow manages to become even more handsome when wearing his uniform. However, he was very much a different man from the last occasion that I spent time with him."

"Different? How so?" I was trying desperately hard to sound apathetic, but as I had never been good at acting I doubted very much my efforts were working.

"For a start he was... he was... well he was nice, which came as a small shock. He was in high spirits and in good humour and most of all very charming"

"Did I not tell you, Angela Louise Webber, that if you spent a little time with him you would change your mind? Did I not tell you he was charismatic and bewitching maybe even more than a little tempting?" my eyebrows were raised once more as I smiled and spoke arrogantly.

"Yes you did, with the exception of the last bit. I appear to be unable to recall any memory of you telling me he was bewitching and tempting." She let out a little giggle before continuing "I am truly sorry for doubting your judgement and more than a little embarrassed to say that I can see why you feel such strong affections to him, he is frightfully captivating."

"One doesn't like to blow one's own trumpet but, I told you so" I put on my best upper class voice then smiled at stuck out my tongue at her, causing her to erupt into a fit of laughter.

xxxxx

The rest of the shift passed smoothly and it was soon time to leave the ward. Angela and Rose rushed off up the stairs to get changed before they left to visit Angela's parents. Rose had seemed overjoyed at the prospect of leaving the hospital and accompanying Angela yet a little blue that I had refused the opportunity to join them as I had other plans. They departed after we had made arrangements to meet again at 8 o clock in Angela's room. From my bedroom window I watched them positively run from the hospital obviously spurred on by the prospect of a jolly good time when they returned. Part of me wished I could have joined them, I do so enjoy the company of Mr and Mrs Webber. Over the years they had become like a second family to me and I missed them as I missed my own mother and father, but unfortunately I had other business to attend to this afternoon.

It quickly dawned on me that I had gone an entire morning without seeing Edward. I wished more than anything that I could say that it had been easy however my heart ached with a strange yearning for his company. I donned my new red frock that Alice had so kindly given me as a gift and styled my hair before finishing off my appearance with a fashionable hair band that was decorated with a large black flower. I stood by my door wishing that it was Jasper, my fiancé, not Edward who I had spent my day missing so dearly. I reminded myself that Edward and I were just friends yet again, before leaving my room and heading down the stairs. Friends can miss each other's company can they not?

As I reached the bottom of the stairs I noticed that the front door was slightly ajar, through the gap I could see the heavens had opened and it was pouring with rain outside. This effectively put an end to my plans of spending time in the gardens with Edward and I began to search through my mind for another activity we could partake in. On the way down the corridor I noticed that the lounge was totally deserted and decided that I would ask Edward if he would like to spend some time there, perhaps if I was lucky he would play the piano for me. I happily greeted a few nurses before I reached Edward's room. I was able to hear the muffled sounds of raised voices; Edward was obviously annoyed with someone. I debated whether to turn around and leave but before I knew it I was frightfully startled by three loud knocks at the door. I looked down only to find that it was my hand that was responsible for the knocks. I quickly realised that my undeniable desire to see him had compelled my subconscious to act without my consent forcing me to knock upon the door. With my mouth wide with shock I contemplated the idea of fleeing to safety, perhaps to higher ground where I could not be subjected to flood of angry words that an unhappy Edward could berate me with for interrupting. But it was too late the door was slowly opened by the very handsome Carlisle Cullen.

He greeted me with a sincere smile. As I peered into the room I could see Edward and Esme Cullen in the middle of a heated discussion obviously unaware that the door hand been opened. I was able to overhear Edward angrily telling his mother that he was shocked by her blatant audacity and her lack of respect for the sanctity of marriage before Esme replied through gritted teeth

"She is engaged Edward, not married" she emphasised each word as she spoke.

I averted my gazed away from the rowing couple to Mr Cullen, who looked at me apologetically before clearing his throat and announcing my presence. All eyes immediately focused on me and I felt dreadfully rude for intruding on such a personal moment. I was more than a little perplexed at what I should say and how I should be conducting myself when tensions between the two family members were so obviously running high.

"Umm... Good afternoon Lance Corporal" I looked at Edward as I spoke, his eyes dark with anger and his face was stern "Mr and Mrs Cullen" I curtsied as I greeted them. I instantly regretted my actions as my inner voice reminded me they were Edward's parents not royalty and I felt my cheeks flush crimson. My eyes caught sight of Edward, all the anger had drained from his face and his eyes were once again their usual shade of vibrant green as he stifled a grin at my ridiculous display. "I appear to have arrived at a most unfavourable time, I shall call back later"

"There is no need Nurse Swan, my parents are well aware of my plans for this afternoon and were just leaving" despite my best efforts I was unable to decipher the tone in which he spoke

"Please do not feel you have to leave on my account Mr and Mrs Cullen. I would not be at all put out if it was more convenient for me to call back later" I tried to rid myself of the concerned expression I was wearing and smiled at them.

"Please call me Carlisle and I'm sure my wife would prefer it if you addressed her as Esme, would you not darling?"

Esme had been staring intently at Edward as Carlisle had been speaking but looked at me and smiled warmly and nodded, before her gaze returned to Edward.

"In all honesty Nurse Swan we were just about to leave" he continued and looked at Edward and Esme who were speaking in angry whispered before he smiled and whispered to me. "It is definitely for the best we leave now, before things get any worse and a brawl erupts. Esme is not usually one for making a scene but she is adamant that she is right on this occasion. When she is angry she has a penchant for destruction and I would hate for you to have to redecorate and purchase new furniture"

I was unsure whether his last comment was to be taken seriously or whether it had been made in jest, Esme certainly did not look the destructive kind. Nonetheless I smiled at him and giggled a little.

"They both appear to be in possession of ferocious tempers" I whispered my observation as mother and son continued their debate.

"Ahh I take it you have met Edward's fiery side then dear girl" he smirked

"Yes, on more than one occasion" I spoke truthfully "But it was nothing I could not handle, besides which we have overcome that problem and are thankfully on good terms now"

"I am very impressed, he can be very difficult at times and he needs a strong woman like yourself to keep him in line" Carlisle winked at me before he as good as bundled an unwilling Esme through the door, leaving Edward and myself alone. His comment about Edward needing me had left me feeling a little baffled, but I reasoned with myself that it was more than likely innocent enough.

I sat down in the chair opposite Edward that his mother had been sat on a few moments ago. Edward had his head in his hands and appeared to be shaking with anger. The deafening silence that had been building around us was shattered when he released a stream of shocking curse words.

"God Almighty!" I exclaimed in utter disbelief at some of the profanities that had escaped his lips.

He slowly raised his head as my favourite smile crept across his face.

"That is jolly nice of you Bella, however my friends usually just address me as Edward"

Try as I might I could not contain the laughter that escaped my chest, and I was relieved to see that the previous tension in Edward's face was gone and he was laughing with me.

"Edward, despite your wit I hardly think this is the time to be laughing." I wiped the smile from my face and replaced it with a look of concern "You appear to have been involved in some kind of quarrel with your mother and it has evidently left you both upset. I am sorry if I have caused you further anger and upset by arriving when I did"

"I am angry with her and the situation yes, but you Bella, no. Your presence never fails to lift my spirits and the beauty of your face allows me to forget the troubles of the outside world." He gently ran the back of his hand across my cheek bone never shifting his gaze from my eyes.

My heart began to beat so violently that I worried that it was about to burst through my rib cage. Had he just said he thought I was beautiful? I did my best to control my breathing as I concluded that Edward was just being flippant and his comments lacked the depth that I had assigned to them.

"Do you wish to talk about it?"

"I could talk about your beauty and adorableness all day if you would let me" he continued to gaze into my eyes as he spoke, my embarrassment caused me to look away.

"Edward! I was talking about your mother." I playfully slapped his leg before continuing "Do not attempt to distract me with flattery"

"I assure you I was not trying to distract you with my honesty and as for my mother she will return tomorrow and she will apologise. But for now Miss Swan what are we to do this afternoon?"

"Well, as the weather has decided to be so inclement I thought you may like to spend some time in the lounge? I could go to the games room and retrieve a deck of cards and a draughts board if you would like?"

"That sounds most favourable location for you to begin interrogating me" he chuckled

"I am glad you have not forgotten that fact and I am very much looking forward to learning more about you."

Edward asked if I was ready to depart for the lounge now and I nodded.

I was happy to find the lounge still deserted and as promised I collected a deck of cards and the draughts board. I was delighted on my return to the lounge to see Edward sat at the piano.

"You never told me you could play the piano Edward. Until the other day I had no idea you were so talented"

"As I have mentioned before there are a lot of things you do not know about me"

"I am going to try my hardest to rectify that fact today." My tone was playful "I would very much like to hear some music before I begin my questioning. There is no doubt in my mind that the music you played the other day was beautiful but perhaps you could play something more cheerful today?"

Edward began playing a song he informed me was Chopin's Minute Waltz. From where I was seated I could see the concentration on Edward's face as he played, he looked very serious but at ease and most handsome. It was a very jolly song but a very short one.

"Edward you are very skilled at bringing about pleasure with your fingers, I enjoyed that immensely"

Edward looked as if he was about to choke with laughter and in an instant I realised what I had said. I blushed and gasped as I covered my open mouth with my hand. I then cussed Edward for having a dirty mind filled with improper thoughts and he began to play again informing me through his giggles that the song was Arabesque Number 1 by Debussy. It was an astonishingly beautiful song and I gave into my compulsion to get up and dance.

Edward continued to play as I held tightly to my imaginary dancing partner and we swirled around the room. All was going well and I was moving with unusual grace and dignity until the song finished and he began to play something much faster. I did my best to keep up with the pace of the music but as usual I failed miserably tripping over the feet of my imaginary dance partner. I fell forward releasing my grip on my partner, only resisting the urge to give him a good push because I was busy trying to right myself and prevent a tumble to the floor. Thankfully my tumble was prevented and I was standing upright once more, I decided to snub my invisible dance partner instead choosing to dance on my own.

Until the sounds of the piano came to an abrupt halt I was unaware Edward had witnessed my clumsiness in action yet again. I turned to see him chuckling.

"Oh Bella you look frightfully silly and your dance partner seems awfully put out that you have rejected him after your little trip"

Oh dear lord, he had witnessed my whole performance, I wished fervently for the ground to open up and swallow me whole. I realised this wish was futile and would remain un-granted so I decided to grin and bear my embarrassment.

"If my dance partner had been a better dancer and had not caused me to stumble then I would never have shunned him"

"Oh I see, it was _his_ fault was it? So you can dance?"

"Yes it was most definitely his inadequate dancing skills that are to blame and yes I can dance... Well in a fashion. Anyway it is my day to be asking the questions not yours! So can you dance?" I asked swiftly turning the tables

"Yes a little" he grinned

"Well maybe when you are a little more stable on your feet you could demonstrate your skills to me?" I could feel my breathing heighten as I thought of the two of us dancing and him holding me close,

"I would like that very much"

Edward moved away from the piano and went on to suggest a game of draughts, I moved a little table closer to him and we set up the board. We shared a few games of draughts and to my delight I won every time, before we decided to play some card games. I questioned him as we played and I learnt a lot about him, amongst many other things he told me he had fought in France and Belgium and that Belgium had been where he sustained his injuries.

"You have been very reluctant to talk about your injuries so far Lance Corporal, you appear to clam up whenever the situation is mentioned. I can understand your anguish but as it is my day to question you I would like to know what happened...please"

He was hesitant to speak of the events leading to his accident, but eventually he sighed and put down another few cards in our game of cheat and began.

He told a very moving story about how he had once met a girl and fallen in love with her and believed that she had fallen for him too. He appeared truly upset as he described leaving her and travelling to France. I wiped away a tear as he told me his injuries were caused when he saved a girl from the battle field who looked just like the one he loved. Further tears rolled down my cheeks as he described how he had lost the memory of her face until very recently. Once his memory had returned he learnt she was engaged to another man.

"Oh Edward, I am so sorry I had no idea any of this had happened" I wiped away my tears before continuing "She is a lucky lady to have secured your affections"

"She has no idea how lucky or how wonderful she is"

"Is this why you were often so grumpy and mean, because your accident caused you to be bitter?"

"You are most observant Bella, deep down I knew that the girl could not have been her after all I was hundreds of miles from her. I only have my own stupidity to blame for my current predicament"

"Have you seen this girl since your accident? Have you told her how you feel?"

"I have seen her yes, but I have not told her my feelings. I do not think I would be able to survive her rejection"

"Oh Edward, you must tell her." it pained me to push him into the arms of another woman but I wished for him to be happy "If she loved you and she knew how you felt, she would surely choose you. The man she has promised herself to is surely her second choice because you had left" I knew that feeling all too well.

"Miss Swan you sound just like my mother"

"But it is true, you do not see yourself clearly. You have so much to offer, you are kind and caring and I'm sure you can be romantic. Not to mention the fact you have half the nursing staff swooning over your good looks"

"Really?" he chuckled "Are you one of these swooning nurses?"

"Maybe" I could feel myself blushing with embarrassment "You are very charming and you are in possession of devilishly handsome good looks that seem to dazzle the female staff"

"Do I dazzle you?"

I hesitated before I answered truthfully, deciding that honesty was the best policy.

"Yes, sometimes" I looked at him as I spoke and he appeared please by my answer.

We continued with our game of cards until it was time for me to retrieve dinner from the canteen. I asked more questions as we tucked into our cottage pie. He asked me about how Alice and her grandmother were doing and I told him that she would be back tomorrow evening; he seemed very pleased about this. After we had finished eating I glanced at the clock above the lounge door it read 7.45, almost time to meet Angela and Rose.

"Edward I have really enjoyed our time together this afternoon, but I'm afraid I will have to leave now. I have made arrangements to have drinks with Nurse Webber and Nurse Hale this evening to celebrate Alice's return tomorrow."

"Drinks?" he questioned with his eyebrows raised.

"Yes hopefully Nurse Webber has managed to secure us a few bottles of fruit wine" he looked at me with a look of mock-disapproval "A girl can have a drink and let her hair down sometimes Lance Corporal"

I walked with him to his room, before thanking him for sharing everything with me today and once again told him how sorry I was that he had lost his girl. Before leaving I offered to help him with some exercises, informing him that I had the day off tomorrow and was at a loss of things to do as Angela and Rose had to attend a training session.

"If your head is not causing you problems due to the wine you will be drinking, then I would be delighted to have your company"

"Good night Edward, sweet dreams"

"Night Bella"

And with that I reluctantly left him and began making my way to Angela's room.

**So Bella is going upstairs to get drunk, naughty girl!**

**What was Edward arguing with his mother about?**

**Please leave me lots of lovely reviews**

**Back soon**

**Magenta xx**


	20. Chapter 20

_**OK me and Edward are back from our holiday and are ready to update.**_

_**Thank you all for your lovely reviews especially my new reader Katy, I love reading them all! **_

_**I have been experiencing some issues with the site that now appear to be fixed so I can start replying to your reviews again!**_

_**Niki has come back to me (although she hasn't looked at this chapter so I'm sorry if there are mistakes!)**_

_**As always I do not own twilight. Thanx to my wonderful Beta **__**acacia6583, you rock girly!**_

_**Come on out of the cupboard Edward...**_

Edward 

It took a few moments for it to dawn on me that Bella had known who I was all along yet had said nothing to me or had done nothing about it. I watched in utter disbelief as Nurse Webber left my room. How dare she come out with something like that and then leave without telling me the full story or letting me ask a few questions. I was a little annoyed by her actions; in fact if I am to be honest I was downright angry. In my rage I began shouting for her to return and finish her revelation. I was in half a mind to go out into the corridor in my pyjamas and retrieve her by force.

"Nurse Webber! It is in your best interests to come back here and finish what you have started... Nurse Webber get back here now before I really lose my temper." I shouted at the door for a few minutes until I was red in the face and my throat was hoarse. When I had finished my outburst, she popped her cheery face around the door and smiled sweetly before speaking

"You called Lance Corporal? Do you require my assistance?"

I quickly decided it was in my best interests to appear somewhat calmer than I actually was and not be as harsh with her as I wished, reasoning that she would never tell me what I wanted to know if I was horrible.

"Nurse Webber. Yes, I called but I do not need your assistance. Please come back her and finish what you bally well started." I spoke quietly but my tone was stern.

"Whatever do you mean?" he smile grew even wider as she teased.

"If you know what is best, you shall not play games of ignorance with me. I am in no mood for this. Now will you please come here and finish what you were telling me" my temper was seeping through

"Lance Corporal, I am rather taken aback by your tone. I am far too busy to be dealing with patients like you" she continued to tease me

"NURSE WEBBER!"

"Ok Ok, for heaven's sake I was only teasing you. Get yourself ready for the day and I shall be back"

"Thank you" I said sincerely

"It is my pleasure Lance Corporal"

I had gotten myself dressed and was sat in my wheelchair when there was a knock at the door, as promised she had returned.

"Please accept my apologies for teasing you Lance Corporal I did not realise that had touched on such a sore point, it was very cruel of me. As a means of apology please feel free to question me." she seemed genuine in her apology

"Thank you Nurse Webber. I trust we can talk in the strictest confidence?"

"Oh yes, Bella would never forgive me if she knew I had spoken to you, so I can hardly go and tell her what you have said today can I?" her voice sounded remorseful as if she was regretting ever mentioning it to me.

"Isabella has never forgotten me?" I asked urgently

"No she most definitely has not Lance Corporal. She recognised you the first time she saw you and promptly came and told me of your presence. I however, took a while to place your face, but like I said we only met very briefly."

"Why has she never mentioned it to me?"

"When Bella left you at the party in Whitechapel, she was very much smitten with you. She was most upset at the thought that she would never see you again. I believe that for her own peace of mind she tried to forget you and pushed all thoughts of you to the back of her mind enabling her to proceed with her life. But Bella being the person that she is has never quite managed it" Nurse Webber gazed pensively out of the window for a short moment before continuing "When you first came here you were horrendously mean to her and your actions upset her deeply. She was also devastated by the fact that you had forgotten her"

"When I first saw her I had no idea who she was, but I can assure you I had never forgotten about Bella" my voice was edged with a deep sorrow as I spoke.

"Forgive me Lance Corporal, but what you have just said makes no sense at all"

I explained to Nurse Webber the circumstances surrounding my accident and how I had suffered some memory loss due to a nasty blow to my head and how I had only just realised that she was Bella.

"That is a very sweet yet sad story Lance Corporal, but I feel I must tell you Bella still believes that she meant nothing to you and that is why she has kept who she is a secret. The only person she has told is me, Nurse Brandon and Nurse Hale no nothing of your past encounter." Nurse Webber appeared both understanding and compassionate.

"I can assure you that my feelings for Bella were and still are far from nothing. I am not ashamed to admit that I love her and have done since the evening I met her" I felt as if I could cry at the thought that Bella could believe I thought so little of her.

"Of course you realise that she is engaged to Private Whitlock now, do you not?"

"Yes" was the only reply I could muster

"So what do you intend to do?"

"I intend to do nothing. I have missed my chance with her and she has found happiness with someone else. If I were to declare my feelings it would put her in a very awkward position and it would ruin the friendship that I have grown so fond of" I sighed "I shall do my best to be happy that she is happy and will settle for her friendship"

"That is most noble of you, you are a true gentleman. She... I must go now I am betraying my best friend by being here" she quickly stood as I looked up at her she appeared very troubled. I took hold of her wrist and practically begged her to finish what she was about to say, but she refused to relinquish the information she still held.

"I am truly sorry Lance Corporal, but I have already said too much and betrayed Bella's confidence" he voice wavered as she spoke and I could see her tears beginning to form in her eyes.

"I understand Nurse Webber and I truly appreciate the fact you have told me what you have"

With that she left the room. I was alone and surrounded by an overwhelming feeling of guilt and remorse for my previous actions towards Bella and for the fact I felt a smug satisfaction at the thought that Bella was once smitten with me. Never before in my life had I felt so much turmoil as I had since being a Bicton. I was busy contemplating what information Nurse Webber could be with holding when my parents appeared at the French doors.

My mother was waving like an excited lunatic while my father was busy looking ashamed to be seen with her. Mother opened the door and I heard Father talking

"Dear me woman, we were only here yesterday and the day before for that matter. Why on earth are you so excitable?"

"It will all become clear later darling" she said to my father "Hello again son, how are you today?"

"Fine thank you, and yourselves?"

I listened intently for what felt like an hour as my mother explained how she was feeling a little peculiar, perhaps as if she had a cold coming on and how she was receiving no sympathy from my father when she complained about how sore her throat was.

"Esme, darling, I have told you countless times that if you throat is sore you should refrain from speaking. As speaking will only exasperate the problem"

"Carlisle Cullen, you are nothing but a liar." She spoke with pseudo-annoyance "You have said no such thing to me; I believe your exact words were if your throat is sore dear, then it is best to shut up"

"Yes like I said if you throat is sore you should refrain from speaking" my father spoke whilst laughing.

"Ooh you are lucky I have not bought my handbag today Carlisle, because you would more than likely find the straps wrapped tightly around your throat" she then looked at me "It is no good laughing young man. Do you see what I have to put up with, I am forced to live with this day in day out"

I was laughing so hard I could not manage to speak. It was then that I realised how much I missed living at home and the company of my parents. I missed their constant silly bickering, for silliness was all it was they never got angry with each other. In all the years I had lived with them I had never once witnessed them having a real disagreement.

Nurse Hale knocked upon the door and announced that dinner was being served. I was a little taken aback by the speed in which the morning had passed, but I was delighted to hear it was cheese and potato pie. Nurse Hale was extraordinarily kind and also offered my parents a spot of lunch. They politely accepted her offer and Nurse Hale went to the canteen to collect the food.

After we had eaten Mother began acting dreadfully odd, as if she wished to say something but she couldn't. She kept looking at me and opening her mouth to speak but no sound came from her lips, just an excited smile.

"Mother are you feeling ok?"

"Why yes dear, apart from the ailments I described to you earlier I am feeling dandy" she looked at my father for a brief moment before turning back to me "Edward, I have a gift for you and you must accept it"

She reached in to the pocket of her smart brown jacket and retrieved a small red box, she held it tight for a moment then placed it in the palm of my left hand. With my right hand I carefully preceded to lift open the lid of the box to reveal a ring. It was silver in colour and mounted on the front was the biggest diamond I had ever set my eyes upon. I gazed at it for a good while in absolute awe of its beauty.

"It is shockingly beautiful, but I don't think it will fit my fingers or suit me for that matter" I could hear my father chuckling as I spoke.

"Edward Anthony Cullen sometimes you can be so daft" she smiled warmly at me, before she continued to speak with an obvious air of nervousness about her "It is platinum and set in it is a four carat diamond, it was Nana Masen's. Before she died she wished for you to have it"

"Nana Masen passed away eight years ago, why are you giving it to me now?

Mother's nervousness appeared to increase tenfold, leaving me certain I was not going to like what she was about to say.

"For eight years I have carried the ring in my bag, it has never left my side until today. Nana Masen left me with strict instructions to only give you this when you had met the right girl. I know you do not wish to hear this, but I truly believe you have met her"

"Oh for heaven's sake Mother do not start this again, we are friends and nothing more. How can you be so sure that we are right for each other when you have spent barely half hour in her company?" I spoke through gritted teeth as the anger began bubbling up inside of me.

"I am sorry Edward, but are you blind? Have you not seen the way she looks at you? It is more than obvious that she cares deeply for you, why else would she give you all her time?"

"I am not blind, I am able to see that she looks at me as a friend, I shouldn't need to remind you that she is engaged" despite my best efforts I was losing control of my temper as I spoke.

"I have not forgotten that fact darling; I have decided that it is a trivial matter and chosen to over look it"

"Trivial matter?" I had lost control of my temper now, my voice was raised and I was all but shouting. "How could you say such a thing? I'm sure if another woman had shown an interest in Father you would not be telling her the issue of marriage is a trivial one, would you?"

"No Edward, but that is different"

"I don't see how. I am absolutely shocked by your blatant audacity and downright lack of respect for the sanctity of marriage"

"She is engaged Edward, not married"

I heard my father clear his throat and looked over to see he was no longer sat in his chair, he was stood at the door with Bella. She looked wonderfully beautiful in her red dress, yet a little uncomfortable. I was clearly able to see her teeth biting down on her bottom lip with what I presumed to be worry. I had no idea how long she had been stood there listening but I took comfort in the fact that neither Mother nor I had mentioned her name. Hopefully she would not realise it was her that we were arguing about.

"Umm... Good afternoon Lance Corporal, Mr and Mrs Cullen" as she greeted my parents she curtseyed, try as I might I was unable to stop a small smile creeping across my lips. Bella could be so ridiculous on occasions, but I found it to be most endearing and her silliness only made my desire for her grow. "I appear to have arrived at a most unfavourable time, I shall call back later"

"There is no need Nurse Swan, my parents are well aware of my plans for this afternoon and were just leaving" my tone was abrupt and dark, maybe even bordering on unfriendly.

"Please do not feel you have to leave on my account Mr and Mrs Cullen. I would not be at all put out if it was more convenient for me to call back later" her voice was the absolute antithesis of mine, light, gentle and full of concern.

"Please call me Carlisle and I'm sure my wife would prefer it if you addressed her as Esme, would you not darling?"

My mother's gaze only moved from me for a moment while she smiled sweetly at my father and Bella.

As my father continued speaking to Bella my mother began to speak in hushed whispers

"We are going to leave in a moment, but it would be best for all concerned if you told her straight"

My eyes strayed to Bella before I replied.

"Mother, I am not going to tell her a thing. Unlike you I have moral values surrounding the issues of engagement and marriage"

"I have morals Edward and I reject the suggestion that I lack them. However, you are yet to deny that you have feelings for the girl. I strongly advise you to tell her, tell her before it's too late and she is married to another. You shall always regret it if you do not, can you face living a life full of what if's?"

"Your judgments are greatly impaired; she has no feelings for me other than ones of friendship. If she did then why would she agree to marry someone else? I am not going to sit here and declare my feelings to her to be rejected just because you have told me too. That is the end of the matter Mother. You can take this ring back until I have met the girl _I_ intend to give it to, not the girl _you_ think I should give it to."

My mother was about to reply when Father all but lifted her from the chair and hurriedly pushed her through the French doors. I honestly believe that I have never before been so infuriated with Mother, or anyone for that matter. I could feel myself shaking with pure unadulterated fury, every muscle in my body was tensed. I held my head in my hands and tried to compose myself for Bella's sake. It would do our friendship no favours if she saw me when I was so dreadfully worked up. I could do nothing to stop the stream of vulgarity that abruptly left my mouth, my body was all too eager to vent some of the anger. I was well aware it was language a lady such as Nurse Swan should not be exposed to. Nonetheless the ghastly words still flowed as my hands curled up into tight fists.

"God Almighty!" Bella spoke with such astound, much more than was actually warranted.

Her over dramatising was most comical and I could not resist grinning before I spoke

"That is jolly nice of you Bella, however my friends usually just address me as Edward"

At first I was sure she would not take kindly to my silliness in light of my terrible use of bad language. Nevertheless if she wished to give me the chiding I most probably deserved, I would grin and bear it as I didn't not wish to agitate our friendship with a disagreement. Bella began to roar with laughter and her reaction shocked me a little. I quickly became very grateful that I had been cheeky as there I sincerely doubted there was a sight more beautiful than that of Bella laughing. The scene before me caused my foul mood to dissolve completely and I was quickly filled with a warm sensation and feelings of joy.

"Edward, despite your wit I hardly think this is the time to be laughing. You appear to have been involved in some kind of quarrel with your mother and it has evidently left you both upset. I am sorry if I have caused you further anger and upset by arriving when I did"

It troubled me that she always appeared to think I would be angry with her, but I was acutely aware that I only had myself to blame for her negative assumptions.

"I am angry with her and the situation yes, but you Bella, no. Your presence never fails to lift my spirits and the beauty of your face allows me to forget the troubles of the outside world." I surrendered to my yearning to touch her and slowly ran the back of my hand over her warm cheek. If I am not mistaken the act caused her to take a sharp intake of breath, in fact I am certain of it. Perhaps my hands were cold and my touch shocked her or perhaps she thought my behaviour was inappropriate, either way she did not make any attempt to put a stop to it.

"Do you wish to talk about it?"

Her compassion evidently knew no bounds. I so dearly wished that I could confide in her, but if I did it would more than likely bring about an end to our friendship. The thought of no longer spending time in her company was like a lead weight pressing down on my chest threatening to crush me at any moment, so instead I opted for a light-hearted yet truthful answer.

"I could talk about your beauty and adorableness all day if you would let me"

We continued with the playful banter until Bella suggested we make our way to the lounge for a game of draughts and a few games of cards. She took the chance to remind me that it was her day to discover more about my life and informed me that before she started her quest for knowledge she would like me to play the piano.

I began with Chopin's Minute Waltz, a complex and fast moving piece but also one of my all time favourites. Yet again Bella made me chuckle with a very risqué comment about the amount of pleasure I could bring about with my fingers. Shortly after she had made the comment she realised the connotations of her words and looked suitably embarrassed. Her ability to speak without first engaging her brain was another of her endearing qualities. After she had told me that my mind was filled with improper thoughts I began to play Debussy's Arabesque Number 1.

Bella began to dance and swirl about the room with her arms held out as if they were around a dance partner. She moved with astonishing grace, until I began to play Mozart's Turkish March. I watched intently, never moving my gaze from her as she began to struggle to keep in time with the pace of the music and stumbled a little. She managed to right herself and avoided crashing to the ground and began dancing again. Only this time she seemed to have shunned her imaginary dance partner and instead pulled up the fabric of the bottom of her dress and began dancing with that.

My laughter stopped me from playing anymore music, and it was only when the piano halted that she noticed that I was laughing.

"Oh Bella you look frightfully silly and your dance partner seems awfully put out that you have rejected him after your little trip" I managed to spit out while laughing.

"If my dance partner had been a better dancer and had not caused me to stumble then I would never have shunned him" She appeared a little embarrassed as she spoke but she was being a good sport about it all.

We continued to jest about the inadequacies of her dance partner for a while before settling down for a game of draughts. I had been certain that I would beat her and win the games, but to my amazement she was most talented and won every game. She interrogated me on every subject she could think of, my favourite foods, my friends, my education and my family. I was happy to answer all of her questions as it appeared to bring her great joy.

It was over a game of cards that she began to question me on my life in the forces. I tried my best to hide from her the fact it was a disagreeable topic for me and that I was uncomfortable discussing it. But my acting was no match for Bella's skills of observation and despite my best judgments I told her the whole tale. The only thing I omitted was that she was the girl at the centre of the story.

"Oh Edward, I am so sorry I had no idea any of this had happened. She is a lucky lady to have secured your affections" Bella was obviously moved by my story as she was busy wiping away tears as she spoke.

"She has no idea how lucky or how wonderful she is" I spoke truthfully

"Is this why you were often so grumpy and mean, because your accident caused you to be bitter?" Once again her observational skills were on top form.

"You are most observant Bella, deep down I knew that the girl could not have been her after all I was hundreds of miles from her. I only have my own stupidity to blame for my current predicament"

"Have you seen this girl since your accident? Have you told her how you feel?"

Alas, I wished that I could tell her how I felt, I wished that she had not promised herself to another man, I wished I had never left and that she had waited for me. Most of all I wished that she loved me.

"I have seen her yes, but I have not told her my feelings. I do not think I would be able to survive her rejection" my voice was full of sorrow as I spoke.

"Oh Edward, you must tell her. If she loved you and she knew how you felt, she would surely choose you. The man she has promised herself to is surely her second choice because you had left" I was certain if she was aware that she was the girl in question she would not be saying such things to raise my hopes.

"Miss Swan you sound just like my mother" I sighed and pushed away the anger that the thought of my mother had bought back to the surface once more.

"But it is true, you do not see yourself clearly. You have so much to offer, you are kind and caring and I'm sure you can be romantic. Not to mention the fact you have half the nursing staff swooning over your good looks" I was delighted that she thought of me in this way but I a little shocked at the revelation about the nursing staff.

"Really?" I questioned "Are you one of these swooning nurses?"

"Maybe. You are very charming and you are in possession of devilishly handsome good looks that seem to dazzle the female staff" she began to blush and she became a little bashful as she spoke. My heart began to race at the notion that she thought of me as good looking.

"Do I dazzle you?" I could not resist the urge to ask this question. She paused for a moment, staring at me pensively before she answered

"Yes, sometimes"

I was overjoyed at her answer, my heart was racing and my stomach was filled with butterflies. I was aware Bella's feelings towards me lacked the strength and intensity of my feelings towards her, but her answer had given me an odd feeling of satisfaction. She may not love me but she thought I was handsome and dazzling and appeared to have a soft spot for me. I contemplated the idea that the smile this notion had caused me to display, was perhaps now one of my permanent features. I concluded that if that was the case it would not be a bad thing.

Bella continued to interview me over dinner and I continued to answer her as truthfully as I could, despite the embarrassment admitting I owned at least one teddy bear had caused. All too soon our time together came to an end as she announced she was leaving to share a few drinks with her lady friends. I was a trifle disappointed that the afternoon had gone so quickly but condoled myself with the fact that she would be back to see me tomorrow.

As soon as she had left and I was alone, the two sides of my conscience embarked upon World War Three with each other. The allied side put forth its argument that I was correct in not declaring my true feelings for Bella. Reminding me she had promised herself to Private Whitlock, even though the thought of his name evoked a feeling of pure rage within me. While the opposing side countered with the argument that she had a soft spot for me and thought of me as charming and handsome. The allied side then bought the idea of rejection to the table and successfully pointed out the fact that I would be unable to survive the fall out of her dismissal. Before bringing up the fact that a relationship based on friendship was preferable to no relationship at all. The opposing side retaliated by joining forces with my mother, of all people, and informing me that I would torture myself with a life of what if's and regrets. It then took the chance to remind me that I would not be at Bicton forever and if I did not declare myself soon I would never be offered the chance again. The opposition's closing argument was quite a strong one and relied upon the idea that it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

The constant turmoil was giving me a headache so I decided it was best to let the subject lie until the morning. I checked my watch only to see it was nearing eleven and I decided it was time for bed. I had just gotten into my pyjamas when I heard an almighty racket in the garden outside of my room followed by a loud thud on the French doors. I swiftly donned my dressing gown and wheeled myself over to the doors. I was quite shocked to see that the cause of the racket was a very tipsy Nurse Webber, she appeared to have tripped and stumbled into my doors while carrying a medium sized terracotta plant pot. The scene before me was rather hilarious; she lay on her back covered with black soil, clutching the pot to her chest whilst laughing like a hyena.

"Good evening Nurse Webber. It is a bit late for a social call is it not?" I chuckled

"Oh hello Lance Corporal, what on earth are you doing out here?" she appeared most confused at my sudden appearance. She quickly got herself up off the ground and saluted me with her free arm, the other arm still clutching the pot.

"Well Nurse Webber, I should be asking you the same thing"

"I have come out in search of a bowl" was all she managed to get out before she began hiccoughing "You see Nurse Swan has been somewhat over enthusiastic about drowning her sorrows with wine and is now in desperate need of a bowl"

"And have you found a bowl out here in the garden?" I playfully question as she continued to hiccough.

"Well you see..."hiccough "it has come to my attention that perhaps the garden is not the best place to come..." hiccough "when you are in search of a bowl"

"That is a very good observation. So will you be visiting the kitchens now?"

"Don't..." hiccough "be..." hiccough "so daft Lance Corporal. If I was to go inside I would be victim to a sharp telling off from the night nurse" hiccough "Besides which I have found this plant pot and now I have freed it from its contents it is pretty much a bowl, is it not?" she questioned happily.

"Why yes I suppose it is Nurse Webber"

"You see I am frightfully clever and inventive!" she spoke proudly.

"Yes you are. Now what did you say you needed the bowl for?"

"Nurse Swan, Nurse Hale and myself have be drinking wine" hiccough "But as I said before Nurse Swan has been a little too enthusiastic about drowning her sorrows and now feels dreadfully sick" hiccough "Hence the need for a bowl, you see"

"Is Nurse Swan ok? Where is she?" against my better judgements I was beginning to panic.

"Do not get your knickers in a twist Lance Corporal. She is perfectly fine she is with Nurse Hale somewhere over there" She pointed off into the distance "Rose decided it would be best for her to take a little walk and to get some fresh air"

Now I knew Bella was being looked after my feeling of unease subsided.

"What sorrows has Bella got that she needs to drown?" I began to think of terrible thoughts of receiving the news that her fiancé had been killed in action. These thoughts were only terrible as I was selfishly wishing that it had happened.

"Why you of course" Nurse Webber replied in a tone that implied I was stupid for not knowing this.

"Whatever do you mean Nurse Webber?"

"It is a terrible situation really, she is being torn apart by guilt and she believes she is a most terrible person..." hiccough "doomed to burn in the fires of hell for eternity..." hiccough "If you ask me she is being a little melodramatic about the last part" she chuckled

"Nurse Webber you are making little to no sense. I do not savour the idea of being the cause of anyone's torment, let alone Bella's. Could you please explain a little further?"

"She feels guilty because she is engaged to Jasper but it is you who she is in love with"

**OOOOOOOH Angela, naughty naughty! I hope you like drunk Angela I love her!**

**Ive finally been catching up on my fic reading and I have some recco's for you...**

**Magenta Madness by blackhale82 is awesome (fanfiction(DOT)net/s/5817819/1/Magenta_Madness)**

**A Soft Place To Fall by Hismysticmuse is a must read for all Alice and Jasper fans (fanfiction(DOT)net/s/5781813/1/A_Soft_Place_to_Fall)**

**The Blessing and the Curse by The Black Arrow is just WOW (fanfiction(DOT)net/s/5100876/1/The_Blessing_and_the_Curse)**

**A Dance For Two by ScottishRose1028. I'm ashamed to say I haven't started this one yet but i have heard great things and will get on it asap (fanfiction(DOT)net/s/5712267/1/Dance_for_Two)**

**And of course...**

**Consumed By Fire By my wonderful beta ****acacia6583 (fanfiction(DOT)net/s/5855125/1/Consumed_by_fire)**


	21. Chapter 21

_**As always I do not own twilight, Stephanie does!**_

_**As Katy enjoyed it so much the first time she gets another shout out for the lovely reviews she has left me, in fact thanks to everyone for their lovely reviews I love each and every one of them. For those of you and read and don't review, if I was to promise you a night with the Lance Corporal would you review then?**_

_**A special thanks to Lisa for her fan-girling (it may or may not be her birthday soon, so have a great day) and to Lolypop82 for her fantastic art work!**_

_**Once again thank you to my wonderful Beta **__**acacia6583 and to Niki, you guys rock.**_

_**Marcy please don't hate me! **_

Bella

Once I had arrived at Angela's room I was warmly greeted by Rose who handed me a large glass of gooseberry wine. She appeared a little red in the face and needless to say a little over excitable, it would come as no surprise to me if she had not already started drinking. Rose was gushing about how lovely Angela's parents were and how picturesque their cottage was. She wasted no time in telling me that she wished to have a tour of my house, as Angela had been busy telling her that it was very grand and similar to a manor house. I scoffed at the idea, I was well aware that it was bigger than Angela's house but it was hardly a mansion.

"Angela tells me you have the most wonderful of gardens and that if we were given the chance we could spend all day getting lost in them because they are so large" Rose said excitedly.

"I think Angela has been over exaggerating a little" I chuckled "My mother looks after the garden well and does her best to make sure it is pretty all year round, but I hardly think you could become lost out there. You are most welcome anytime Rose, my parents thoroughly enjoy having visitors"

"Oh that would be wonderful, but are you sure? They would not think it rude and imposing of me, would they?" she tucked her long blonde hair behind her ear as she spoke

"Not at all Rose. In fact my mother would revel in your company, but be warned she is more than capable of talking the leg off an iron pot" I jested before taking a sip of my wine. "This wine is delicious, I do hope you have more than just the one bottle Angela"

"I managed to pilfer four bottles in total, however including the one we are drinking now we have three left" Angela replied

"What happened to the fourth bottle?"

"We arrived back a bit earlier than we had intended so Rose opened a bottle and poured us a glass. She then continued to liberate the rest of the contents from the bottle for herself" Angela said playfully while looking at Rose.

"Guilty as charged" Rose chortled.

"I thought as much"

The evening was going swimmingly. We sat in a small circle, seated on cushions upon the floor. As there wereonly three of us the small circle should probably be more accurately described as a small triangle. The three of us were chatting idly and occasionally having a little sing song, but more importantly we were avoiding the fashion parades and beauty sessions that Alice would no doubt have had us partake in. I was pleased to learn a bit more about Rose and she appeared to enjoy getting to know Angela and myself better. I was most surprised to learn that Rose was single.

"How on God's earth can you be single Rose? You are the epitome of beautiful. I really am shocked," I said in amazement at her revelation.

"Thank you Bella that is very kind of you to say such a thing. Without meaning to sound arrogant, I am single by choice. In the past I have had a bad experience" Rose's voice became sombre, she gazed down at the floor and began fiddling nervously with her fingers. "You see, I was engaged once to a man I thought loved me" he voice broke a little as she spoke. She took a large gulp of wine, presumably to calm her nerves, before continuing, "His name was Royce and we were together for quite some time. Shortly before the relationship ended he proposed and I accepted. Things changed after that" she took another large swill of wine before forcing a sad smile "He became very possessive and downright nasty and controlling. I think it best for me not to go into too much detail but I spent two weeks in hospital recovering from his wicked hands"

"Oh Rose that is awful, we had no idea" Angela pulled Rose into an embrace and I felt it only right that I join in.

"Do not feel sorry for me girls, it is in my past now and I am a stronger person because of it" she pulled away and smiled genuinely "Besides we all have man troubles at some point"

"I'll drink to that" I finished my glass of wine and swiftly poured another.

"Is everything ok with you and Private Whitlock, Bella?" Rose's concern was nothing but genuine.

"Yes" I sighed, "Apart from the fact I no longer get to see him," I was not telling the exact truth but I was not strictly lying either.

"I feel for you Bella, I really do. You seem to be close friends with Lance Corporal Cullen, which is a good thing is it not?"

I began to panic a little, had Angela told her? Why would she do such a thing? No, Angela would surely not betray my confidence, I trusted her implicitly. Angela was out of Rose's line of sight, I looked towards her for reassurance and she shook her head. My panic subsided as I realised Rose was just being inquisitive.

"He is a most entertaining man and I cannot deny the fact that I treasure his friendship" still feeling a little on edge; I drank half of my glass of wine in one mouthful.

"And you have Alice, Rose and I to keep you company" Angela said obviously sensing my anxiousness, and kindly changing the subject a little.

"Thank you Angela" she was aware my gratitude had a double meaning. "You are all very special to me" I began starting to feel the effects of the wine. "Especially you Angela, for as long as I can remember you have always been there for me and I am most appreciative of it. And you Rose, you appear to be a very special person and I enjoy your company greatly"

"I would like to propose a toast if I may" Rose topped up the wine glasses as she spoke "To friends, old and new and to woes of the gentlemanly variety"

We all raised our glasses and joined in on the toast.

The talk of Jasper all be it brief, had bought the feeling of guilt flooding back to the forefront of my mind and I began drinking a lot more rapidly than I knew was wise.

I fleetingly stood up, instantly feeling dizzy and terribly nauseous, before falling flat on to the floor. I was acutely aware that the fall should have been painful and for a moment I was glad of the anaesthetic powers of alcohol, however this feeling was quickly replaced by one of sickness again. Without my permission the room suddenly began to spin, I begged it to stop but it was very disrespectful and ignored my wishes, instead spinning even faster. The constant movement of the room against my will caused me to become more than a little angry at its insolence. I closed my eyes tightly and hoped the feeling would pass.

I was vaguely aware of the sounds of Rose and Angela's voices around me, and the sensation of being moved. I tried to fight against the movement but quickly gave up deciding my energy was better spent on keeping the contents of my stomach in place. After a few moments I felt cold and a cool breeze flowed across my skin. I began to shiver before realising I was outside.

"Angela, would you be so kind as to fetch a bowl?" I heard Rose's voice before I opened my eyes and realised she was stood next to me. "I would hate for Bella to make a mess of the garden," she giggled.

"Where on earth am I going to find a bowl out here? Can we not just position her and hold her over some bushes? No one will check the bushes surely?"

Rose laughed before replying and helping me to sit down on a bench.

"That can be plan B if we cannot find a bowl, at the moment we are struggling to keep ourselves up right so I think it would prove a difficult task" she continued to giggle

"_We_? What is all this _we_ business? It is _I _who has to find a bowl, not we." Angela jested.

I was able to hold my head up just long enough to see a most unsteady Angela stumble off into the dark. Rose rubbed my back and offered me comfort as I sat on the cold wood of the bench, my head almost between my knees. I was startled by a loud thud and Angela's distant cry of pain; Rose stood up to go to Angela's rescue. I grabbed her by the wrist,

"Please don't go Rose, I feel dreadful. You can't leave me on my own; I will surely die if you do"

"But Angela could be hurt Bella"

"Trust me, I have known Angela all my life if she was seriously hurt we would know about it, the whole town would know about it. She has never been one for expressing her pain quietly"

We sat in silence for a while, before we heard the sounds of Angela approaching.

"I have managed to find this lovely terracotta bowl for you Bella" she placed a plant pot in front of me. Despite feeling awful I still managed a laugh at the sight of the _bowl._ "Isn't Lance Corporal Cullen I lovely man?"

That was the last thing I remembered before being woken up by a painfully bright light. Once I had re-gathered my bearings, I realised I was in my bed and the bright light was morning sunshine pouring in through my window. Glimpses of my actions from the previous night were flashing through my mind and I was most crestfallen about my conduct. I decided that curling up and dying from shame would be the best course of action for me to take. How could I have been so irresponsible, for I have always known it is not wise to drink copious amounts of alcohol? It was when I tried to curl up I realised that I was not alone in my bed, _Oh dear Lord girl, what have you done? Surely you were not drunk enough to invite a stranger into your bed? What will Edward, I mean Jasper have to say about this indiscretion? Where did you find him? _My inner voice was not in the least bit impressed by this discovery, or the fact it had mistakenly mentioned Edward. It continued to harass me with questions of who, what and how until I finally mustered the courage to turn my head and look at the stranger who was now stirring in my bed.

For a moment I was distracted from my thumping head as a glorious wave of relief instantly washed over my body. I realised the stranger was none other than Rose.

"Good morning Bella" she managed to say while yawning and looking remarkably refreshed. "Oh, I am sorry I hope you do not mind that we shared a bed. It just that I was very worried about you, it did not feel right to leave you on your own. So I took the liberty of staying with you" Judging by Rose's urgent explanation my face must have been a picture of confusion.

"I do not mind at all, in fact it is very kind of you. My head hurts" I groaned.

"I'm not surprised you were frightfully drunk last night," Rose said with a titter.

Rose fetched me a glass of water, which I hastily drank before explaining that she had to go and ready herself for the training course she was attending with Angela. A few moments after Rose had departed from my room a very delicate looking Angela arrived to check on me.

"Oh dear Angela, I mean no offence when I say this but you look about as well as I feel."

"I know. I look most awful. I have no real recollection of last night either. All I know is that my dress and cardigan from last night are covered in mud and have unceremoniously been thrown on my bedroom floor. I have had to spend a little over twenty minutes scrubbing the dirt from my hands and nails too"

I giggled a little at her bewilderment and was glad nothing of the sort had happened to me last night.

"It is not funny Bella, Rose has kindly informed me that I fell over in the shrubbery before emptying out a plant pot with nothing but my hands as a spade. I'm sincerely hoping that Rose is pulling my leg, but I suppose if that was to have happened it explains the scratches that are present on my arms and legs and the copious amounts of mud"

When Angela had left I decided it would be a good idea to have a long soak in the bath followed by a trek to the canteen to get a much needed cup of tea.

I made my way downstairs around ten o clock, my head was still thumping but my inherent nausea seemed to have dissipated. The constant droning noise of the canteen was too much for my head to bear so I decided to abandon my half drunk cup of tea and visit Edward as promised.

I gently knocked on the door and he invited me in almost immediately. He was sat in his wheelchair at the foot of his bed reading a book; he turned to look at me.

"Good morning Bella? How are you feeling today? If I am to be honest you look a little worse for wear" his smile as he spoke was almost enough to take the pain of my headache away, almost but not quite. He moved his chair so he could face me.

"Oh Edward" I said as I collapsed on his bed. I removed my shoes so I could curl up on my side. "I feel dreadful. It appears that in the night a woodpecker has burrowed into my brain and is trying his hardest to peck his way out"

"A woodpecker Miss Swan?" he scoffed "Are you sure that this has nothing to do with large amounts of wine?"

"What do you take me for? I had one glass that is all."

"One glass? After one glass of wine you had to be escorted to the garden for fresh air? Your limited tolerance disappoints me" he moved his chair alongside me so we were facing each other.

"However do you know I was in the garden? I am finding it hard enough to recall that part of the night myself" I said while making myself a little more comfortable on Edward's bed.

"A had a surprise visit from a drunken Nurse Webber. She fell, rather noisily into my door on her quest for a bowl" he pointed at the French doors.

"A bowl? Why would there be a bowl in the garden and why would she need one?"

"Yes a bowl, apparently you were feeling quite sick and she didn't want you to make a mess in the garden. Needless to say she was unable to complete her mission so settled upon a plant pot that she had emptied" he chuckled

"Ohhh, I am never drinking again," I groaned while reaching for Edward's pillow to rest my head on. "What were you reading Edward?"

"I was reading a book my parents bought for me. It is a collection of poems by John Masefield"

"Would you be so kind as to read it aloud for me?"

He cleared his throat and began

"_I have seen dawn and sunset on moors and windy hills,  
Coming in solemn beauty like slow old tunes of Spain: __**  
**__I have seen the lady April bringing in the daffodils,  
Bringing the springing grass and the soft warm April rain__**."**_

He paused, and I glanced up at him.

"Please do not stop Edward," I pleaded, "It is truly very beautiful"

"_I have heard the song of the blossoms and the old chant of the sea,  
and seen strange lands from under the arched white sails of ships_**"**

His voice was so warm and soft; the manner in which the words rolled from his tongue was irresistibly soothing. I felt myself smile at the beauty of his words as my eyes began to slowly close.

"_But the loveliest things of beauty God ever has showed to me  
are her voice, and her hair, and eyes, and the dear red curve of her lips."_

I awoke roughly four hours later with Edward's blankets draped over me. I was unsure if Edward had continued on with his poetry, but he was still positioned closely at my side with the book in his hands. The blankets were surrounding me in his delicious smell. Still not fully awake I took great pleasure in pulling the blankets closer to my face and inhaling deeply a few times before he turned to face me and spoke.

"Good afternoon" he chuckled, his green eyes sparkling with happiness.

"Goodness gracious me! Edward I am so sorry" Now fully alert, I rubbed my eyes and slowly sat up "That was frightfully rude of me"

"Bella you worry far too much. If you continue to fret as much as you do presently, you will ruin your beauty. And that would be a great pity."

I blushed at his comment before thanking him for the use of his blankets and apologising once more for being rotten company.

"That is most untrue, you have been marvellous company" he gave me a cheeky grin

"How so?" I asked more than a little confused at his last comment

"Not only are you a very pretty sight to behold when you are dreaming, you also talk in your sleep"

"Oh... erm... what did I say?" I was praying to God I had said nothing to embarrass myself.

"Nothing too bad, you mainly just mentioned names. You kept saying that you must tell Alice something, I was very intrigued but I never found out what it was." I was relieved to find out I had not said anything that I regretted.

Edward and I spent the afternoon chatting and listening to his wireless. I felt so at ease with Edward, as if I had always known him. If I were a believer in fate I would have concluded that it had bought us together again, and that it was my destiny to be close to him. But I am not so that point is a little irrelevant; nonetheless I was not afraid to say how I really felt or to be silly while in his company. In fact my embarrassing clumsiness was no longer something I dreaded as it was always rewarded by Edward's glorious smile and his intoxicating laugh. I often debated whether to fall over on purpose just so I could claim my reward.

Around half past five our time together came to a sudden end with the arrival of his parents at the French doors.

Esme was looking smart as always, in a grey skirt and jacket to match and Carlisle was still dashingly handsome. As they entered the room I noticed Esme was a little more subdued than normal. Presumably she was still suffering from the effects of the falling out yesterday, so I decided it was time for me to depart. I spent a few moments chatting with Mr and Mrs Cullen, before I gave Edward's shoulder a gentle squeeze and thanked him for his company and made my excuses to leave.

The next few weeks flew by without incidence as October gave way to November, which was then followed by a very cold start to December. Edward was making great progress on his legs and was now able to stand unaided with a good amount of ease, I had promised that this week I would remove his dressings altogether and that I would help him to take his first few steps. Due to the nature of the breaks in Edward's legs the process of weight bearing and beginning to walk was a long-winded one. If I am to be honest then I have perhaps dragged the process out a little longer than necessary, for purely selfish reasons. I was well aware that once he was healed he would leave Bicton and I did not want to face the prospect of a life without him. I had become dependent on his company, devoted to pleasing him in order to see the crooked smile I loved so much and perhaps a little addicted to his beautiful laugh and his loyal friendship.

Alice was back at work and was her usually jolly self; in fact sometimes she was a little too cheerful. I am unsure as to why but I felt that she was hiding something from me or knew something I did not. I did my best to not let it get to me; fore I have always known that Alice is a strange creature. Angela was longing for Ben's company as she missed him dearly. Rose and I had become close friends in recent weeks; actually Rose had become quiet close to Alice and Angela too. The four of us had spent a lot of time together recently, both in work and out. Only last Sunday we had visited my parent's house and been presented with a beautiful Sunday roast. It came as no surprise that my father was instantly taken with Rose and they had spent the afternoon talking, after all, as my mother pointed out she was an attractive blonde and had once been young too. Matron was hardly ever present at Bicton as she was still busy with the other hospital, so the atmosphere was less formal and more relaxing.

Over the last few weeks my only two troubles were keeping warm and Jasper. We had been writing to each other frequently but in each one of Jasper's letters he became more and more despondent and depressed. Some of his letters were so badly censored it was hardly worth reading them. I was well aware that only locations and negative things were censored, it was the government's way of keeping the soldiers safe and the moral at home high. His usually neat writing had become untidy and the only thing he seemed to write with conviction was that he loved me.

I had surreptitiously managed to ascertain that Ben's letters were nothing like Jasper's. Ben was aching to see Angela again and eager to return to her but he was in no way as forlorn and gloomy as Jasper appeared to be. It worried me greatly; I had spoken briefly to Edward about it. He seemed reluctant to speak about it, presumably because it bought back his own horrors and when I had confided in Rose she had tightly embraced me but had no real idea of what to say other than perhaps he was having a bad day. The one thing that Edward did tell me was that war was a terrible thing full of unimaginable horrors and that it could make or break a man. I did not want Jasper to be broken; part of my heart broke at just the thought of it. I wanted to be able to hold him and comfort him; I needed to reassure him that everything was ok. But alas I could not instead I sat in my room feeling utterly useless, completely unable to do anything but stare at his letters.

It had been a few days since I received correspondence from Jasper, which was most unusual as I often received two or three letters that he had written on the same day. It was around 4 o clock and I was busy chatting to Edward in his room when Alice burst in. Her smile was beaming from ear to ear and she quickly waved at Edward, he chuckled in return.

"Excuse me Edward," she said before proceeding to drag me by force from the room.

"Alice Brandon what is the meaning of this? What on earth could be so important and by the looks of it so exciting" I asked

"It's Rose she has a visitor. I know she said that after Royce she was no longer interested in finding happiness with a man, but you should see them together Bella, they are quite a stunning couple. Come quickly" she said as she excitedly began dragging me along the corridor towards the front doors.

"Quick look" she said as she peeked through the gap in-between the front doors. When I did not move she grabbed a hold of my uniform and pulled me to the doors forcing me to look. Alice had not taken into account my clumsiness and I banged into the heavy wooden doors making rather a lot of noise as I did so. "Thank goodness you are a nurse Bella and not a spy" she looked me up and down as she spoke.

I laughed at her comment and brushed myself down before peaking through the doors.

Rose was stood next to a burly man in a blue RAF uniform and she was behaving most peculiarly. Normally when Rose was in the presence of a man, who was not a patient she was very rigid and jumpy. Although we did not know the story in its entirety we all blamed this on whatever it was that Royce had done to her. However here she was talking with this man and she appeared totally at ease, even going as far as smiling and laughing.

"This is most strange Alice," I stated

"I know that's why I was compelled to fetch you, so you could see it with your own eyes" Alice was obviously delighted with this turn of events.

No sooner than Alice had finished speaking, the couple began moving towards the hospital entrance.

"Quick, back to the ward and look busy, and for heaven's sake Bella be careful about it. The last thing you want is for Rose and that man to find you on the floor with your skirt above your head." She sniggered while gracefully running down the corridor.

I ran swiftly but less elegantly down the corridor after her, only stopping when we reached the nurse's station. Alice promptly passed me a folder and told me to look as if I was reading it and she did the same. I heard someone clearing his or her throat and only then did my gaze leave Alice. Angela was sat in the corner of the room writing notes in a book.

"You two girls are up to mischief. Would you care to share the details?"

"We will Angela, but just not now." Angela looked at little disheartened by Alice's reply "I promise I will tell you as soon as Rose's visitor has left the building."

Just as she had finished speaking there was a knock on the door, it slowly opened a little revealing a glowing Rosalie. It was actually incredibly pleasing to see her so happy.

"Nurse Swan, you have a visitor" with that she opened the door to reveal the man from the garden.

"Hello, I am Nurse Swan. How can I help you?" I was rather nervous as I spoke, as the visitor was not only much taller than me, he also appeared to be made of pure muscle. In all honesty he was the most muscular man I had ever laid eyes upon, he looked as if he should be able to lift an ambulance with one hand and little effort. I felt slightly less afraid when I looked up to his face. He had a cheeky face similar to one that you would expect to find on a naughty schoolboy, which made him a lot less threatening. Like a true gentleman he removed his blue cap holding it in front of his chest and revealing his slightly curly dark hair.

"Ma'am." He said as he bowed forward slightly "I was rather hoping we could talk some where a little more private than here, is there perhaps somewhere we could be alone?"

"I'm afraid all our rooms are occupied with patients at the moment, we could go to the canteen if you'd like, but there may be other nurses there" I was a little concerned that he wished for us to be alone. I briefly contemplated the idea that he was the bearer of bad news before scolding myself a little for being so melodramatic

"Well it is still sunny outside; would you care to sit in the garden with me? You will probably need to bring a jacket of sorts as it is a little chilly to say the least" his tone was pleasant but a little foreboding.

I nodded before quickly removing my woolly cardigan from its peg in the nurse's station and proceeded to follow him outside. We sat down on a wooden bench that acted as a memorial for a patient who had passed away some time ago. He had not spoken a word on our journey to the bench and now we were seated he looked at me sadly before glancing at the floor and then once more his gaze returned to me.

"Are you Isabella Swan?" he asked rubbing his hand over his short brown hair.

I nodded.

"Then you know my brother well," he stated. His comment confused me, we had so many patients here his brother could be one of many men, how was I supposed to know which soldier he was referring to?

"Do I?" My confusion became apparent as I spoke.

"I am Pilot Emmett Whitlock, brother of Jasper, who I believe you are engaged to"

"Oh Emmett I am so pleased to meet you. Jasper has spoken about you often, only good things of course." I was overjoyed that Emmett was finally here, I had been asking Jasper to introduce us for a while but the opportunity had never arisen. "I do hope you will..."

"Miss Swan" he interrupted "Have you heard from Jasper recently" he sighed

"Why yes. He writes often, but recently I have become a little concerned about him. His mood seems unnaturally down, I'm sure you are well aware he is normally of a happy disposition. Perhaps you could write to him and cheer him up a little, I'm sure he would love to hear from you and.." I stopped myself midsentence as I became aware in the excitement caused by meeting my future brother-in-law I had began to babble. To my embarrassment I also noticed that I had placed my hand on his arm, which was most inappropriate. In the same moment I noticed Emmett's expression as he swung his cap in between his legs whilst looking at the ground, it was one of grief.

Suddenly I began to feel a wave of panic "I have not received word from Jasper in the last few days, is everything ok?" Emmett said nothing, his stare still fixed on the ground in front of his feet. "How did you know I was his fiancé? Emmett speak to me, tell me what has happened," I was all but begging as I spoke.

"I am so sorry Isabella"

"Tell me!" I demanded with my voice raised "and tell me now!"

"I received a telegram four days ago, Jasper is missing in action. I have used my connections to speak directly to his commanding officer, who has told me to prepare for the worst."

I stared at him with utter disbelief; my eyes were wide with anger. Jasper had always told me that Emmett was a joker but this was most definitely not in the least bit amusing.

"No! I do not believe you, Jasper has sent you here to play tricks on me" my voice was wavering as I spoke.

"I'm afraid I have not seen Jasper for around six months now and I the last time I received any correspondence from him was around four weeks ago. I can assure you I tell the truth, hopefully this will help you see that unfortunately I am sincere" he handed me a brown envelope with his name and presumably his address written on the front of it.

"What is this?" I asked timidly

"I received it yesterday from Jasper's friend, Private Cheney. He had found it and amongst some other of Jasper's possessions and returned it to me. I came here as soon as I could, but I am sorry it was not sooner"

I opened the envelope with great difficulty as my hands were shaking with the fear of what I was about to find. Inside was the photo I had slipped into Jasper's pocket the night before he left me and a brief note addressed to me that had yet to be posted. I quickly read the note and instantly wished I hadn't, pushing right to the very bottom of my pocket. I glanced once more at the photo and my heart shattered, I burst into deep sobs of agony,

"NO!" I screamed, "This is not happening. You are a liar Emmett Whitlock a cruel and wicked liar!"

I began to pound my fists on his firm muscular chest as I continued to scream at him.

"I'm so sorry Nurse Swan, I truly am! I thought it better that you hear it from me than a telegram"

I am unsure why but I stood up, perhaps so I could shout at him further or maybe so I could hit him harder. The only thing I am sure of is that the emotion had made my legs so weak that I collapsed onto the floor immediately. I curled up and hugged my knees as I lay there. I was weeping so much I was barely aware of my surroundings or the fact the ground was wet and cold. I lay there trembling with emotion as Emmett tried to lift me from the ground.

"Get off me" I screamed, "Just leave me alone"

"What on earth have you done to Nurse Swan?" I heard a familiar voice over the sounds of my sobs and wails "I suggest you do as she says and leave her alone, or so help me God I will not be held responsible for my actions. You call yourself a man? You must be an absolute bastard to have reduced a woman to this; I hope you are proud of yourself. NOW LEAVE!" I had never heard Edward be as intimidating as when he growled the words now leave.

"Bella, Bella darling. What has happened?" He leaned down and placed his warm hand on my cheek "Bella please tell me" he pleaded.

I tried to respond but the only sounds that left my lips were sobs.

"Bella, please come here. Let me get you off this cold floor and into the warm"

I managed to find the strength to sit up and look at Edward; he motioned for me to come nearer to him. I could not move I just stared blankly at him through my tears. He moved his wheelchair closer to me, if I had not been so devastated I would have been surprised by his strength as he placed his hands gently around my waist and lifted me on to his lap. He held me tightly for a moment his one hand placed firmly on my back, the other stroking my hair.

"Oh Edward" were the only words I could find the strength to muster, as he began to move his chair towards his room.

He lifted me and placed me on his bed and began to cover me with his blankets, being without his warm touch caused me to panic once more

"Edward, please don't leave me here on my own. I need you to hold me" I looked across to him "Please Edward, I need you"

He hesitated for a moment before standing and getting on the bed next to me. He was sat with his back against the headboard with his legs out in front of him. I positioned myself close to him with my head resting on his chest and began to violently weep once more. Edward continued to hold me and stroke my hair, which had now come loose from all its pins. Occasionally he would give me a squeeze and then bend his head down to meet mine and kiss my hair. All the emotion had left me utterly exhausted and I cried myself to sleep, feeling secure in Edward's arms.

**I'm going to get some alone time with angry-protective-ward in my cupboard!**

**Let me know what you think!**

**See you next week**

**Magenta xx**


	22. Chapter 22

_**Once again thank you to my wonderful Beta **__**acacia6583 and to Niki, you guys rock! Niki also deserves a special congrats!**_

_**I wish I owned twilight but I don't, however Lance Corporal Cullen is all mine!**_

_**Poor Jasper missing in action in the cold winter! Yay for Emmett he has arrived!**_

_**Aidan PaulMomma, your art works rocks!**_

_**Thank you to everyone for your reviews, I love them so much I'm updating early for you guys! **_

Edward 

"You are drunk and appear to be speaking nonsense Nurse Webber" I was doing my best to be outwardly nonchalant about what she had just divulged. While on the inside I was dancing with glee at the thought that this could be true.

"I most certainly am not drunk..." hiccough "Well... perhaps a little, but I'll have you know I am not most definitely not speaking nonsense" She hiccoughed again and swayed slightly as she spoke.

"I hope that you will forgive the fact that on this occasion I have decided to disagree with you." I could not help chuckling at the very serious face she was attempting to wear. "But I would like it to be noted that I am disagreeing with you most pleasantly"

"It is noted Lance Corporal." She smiled and nodded sharply "While we are taking notes, I would like to be recorded that..." hiccough "Although I am a little squiffy I am speaking very much the truth." She staggered closer and leaned down so her face was level with my ear "Isabella Swan is very much in love with you and always has been" she whispered and then stood back.

I looked at Nurse Webber offering no reply because I was busy trying to decipher whether it was the drink talking or she really was telling the truth.

"She can try and deny her feelings all she likes" With her one arm she was making grand gestures as she spoke, while the other still clutched the pot. "But you, Edward, are the one she loves not Jasper." she looked thoughtfully into the dark night for a moment. "Safety net! That is how she described him, as her safety net when she thought you were lost forever"

"I am still sticking with my original conclusion, that the wine has caused you to be stark raving mad, temporarily of course"

"Well if you are going to bring my integrity into disrepute Lance Corporal then I am going to make my retreat and take this bowl to Bella" she wobbled a little and bounced off the wall as she spoke causing me to laugh once more.

"I think you are quite successfully tarnishing your integrity all by yourself Nurse Webber. However it has been a pleasure speaking with you" I spoke sincerely

"The pleasure is all mine" she smiled and saluted aggressively before skipping off into the darkness.

I chuckled to myself until I got myself into bed. Despite my best efforts I was unable to overlook what Nurse Webber had said. Her words replayed over and over again inside my head, causing part of me to be thoroughly elated at the possibility that Bella loved me and that my love was requited. However I was more than aware that this was no more than wishful thinking on my behalf. Nurse Webber was incredibly tipsy and her words were not to be trusted.

Besides which Bella would surely not have promised herself to another man if she had feelings for somebody else, she was a decent girl and a person of highs morals and those actions would have been most improper. I objectively studied both sides of my inner conflict and the argument was quickly settled. Nurse Webber was not aware of the meaning of her words and due to her alcohol consumption she was not to be believed. Yet somehow the notion of being the source of Bella's hurt was a painful one, one that caused me to ache to the very depths of my soul.

What a wonderful world it would be if Bella did love me, I fell asleep contemplating this idea.

I awoke bright and early after pleasant dreams of romantic walks along a beach, beautiful candle lit dinners and passionate kisses. I was sad to wake up as I had a feeling that after last night's antics I would not be hearing from Bella today, as she would be nursing a very sore head. If I could have just slept for a few hours longer I would have been able to spend more precious time with her, even if it was in the territory of Queen Mab.

After I had washed, dressed and eaten I decided to read a book of poetry that my parents had bought for me. I had been reading for quite some time when a familiar knock on my door surprised me. Almost immediately a very dishevelled looking Nurse Swan stumbled into my room.

""Good morning Bella?" if I was to say I was merely pleasantly shocked to see her it would be a gross understatement, I was elated "How are you feeling today? If I am to be honest you look a little worse for wear" if I was to be absolutely honest she still looked beautifully captivating but a little tired.

"Oh Edward, I feel dreadful. It appears that in the night a woodpecker has burrowed into my brain and is trying his hardest to peck his way out" she collapsed onto my bed.

If I were a decent friend to her, I would have been feeling empathy and compassion for her pain, however I was unable to think of anything but lying on the bed next to her and holding her.

I shook myself from these thoughts in order to formulate my reply.

"A woodpecker Miss Swan? Are you sure that this has nothing to do with large amounts of wine?"

"What do you take me for? I had one glass that is all." I adored the fact that even when feeling rotten Bella liked to jest.

"One glass? After one glass of wine you had to be escorted to the garden for fresh air? Your limited tolerance disappoints me" I said playfully as the thoughts of being on the bed with her returned. I allowed myself to give way to these urges slightly and moved myself alongside her.

It was then that it came to my attention that she had removed her shoes, exposing her naked feet. Even her feet were gloriously pretty, so small and dainty, perfect in fact.

She appeared rather baffled by the fact I knew she was in the garden, so I explained to her some brief details of my midnight encounter with Nurse Webber.

"Ohhh" she groaned "I am never drinking again." She reached for my pillow and delicately rested her head upon it as she spoke. "What were you reading Edward?"

"I was reading a book my parents bought for me. It is a collection of poems by John Masefield"

"Would you be so kind as to read it aloud for me?"

Reading aloud was not one of my strong points but I found it impossible to deny Bella of anything. If she was to desire something, anything at all, I felt compelled to provide her with it. I cleared my throat before beginning to read "Beauty" by John Masefield

"_I __have seen dawn and sunset on moors and windy hills, __  
__Coming in solemn beauty like slow old tunes of Spain: __**  
**__I have seen the lady April bringing in the daffodils, __  
__Bringing the springing grass and the soft warm April rain__**."**_

I paused for a moment to reflect upon the poem's words. I had read this poem many times in the past but never before had the words held such powerful meaning. I was rather taken aback with just how apt this poem was and my ability to relate to its content.

"Please do not stop Edward. It is truly very beautiful" she looked up at me through her long lashes and I was unable to decline her plea.

"_I have heard the song of the blossoms and the old chant of the sea,  
And seen strange lands from under the arched white sails of ships But the loveliest things of beauty God ever has showed to me  
Are her voice, and her hair, and eyes, and the dear red curve of her lips."_

As I read the last line I looked down at Bella. I looked at her hair, her eyes and her wonderfully shaped lips, and I could not argue with Masefield's words. I felt thankful, that although she was not mine at least I had been given the great privilege of her friendship. As she laid upon my bed she looked so peaceful and delicate, it was then that I realised she had drifted off to sleep.

She was lay on her side in the foetal position and all I could hear was her gentle breathing as I watched her chest rise and fall. To anyone else it would have been the quietest of noises, hardly noticeable, but to me it was deafening. I found great delight in watching her sleep, her face was a picture of peacefulness and a truly breathtaking sight. A sight that came second only to her smile. I fought hard against my yearning to reach out and touch her but eventually my will power yielded and my hand moved closer to her.

I gently placed my hand in hers, and in her sleep she took hold of it squeezing it gently. I was contented by this for a good while, until yet again I noticed the shine of that damned engagement ring. My jealousy was not an endearing personality trait, nor was I proud of it, but the green eyed monster raged within me. I became aware that Bella's hand was now cold and she was shivering slightly. I somehow succeeded in pushing away my misguided thoughts of removing the ring and destroying it, instead I concentrated my efforts in wrapping her in the blankets to keep her warm.

"Don't leave me, please don't leave me Edward" she muttered as she stirred slightly. I hadn't the faintest idea what Bella was dreaming of but I was not enjoying that fact that it was upsetting her. I tried my best to offer her some reassurance.

"Shhh, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere" I began to stroke her hair to comfort her and more to the point because I could not resist my yearning to do it any longer.

"I don't want you to go again, I would not survive this time." Although asleep Bella appeared to be getting quite panicked, her breathing sped up slightly and she wore a look of anguish on her face.

"Calm down Bella, everything is ok" I ran the back of my hand down her cheek and she began to relax once more "I promise I'm not going to leave you, not unless you want me to"

"Thank you" she murmured.

She slept soundly for a while as I continued to play with her beautiful long hair, it was so smooth and soft, as if it was made of the finest silk. It was when I stopped that she began to stir once more.

"Jasper, I'm sorry... so sorry... I did not mean..." there was the prominent crease of a frown across her forehead and she appeared upset as if she was in the throes of a nightmare "But Ben..."

"It's ok Bella, everything is fine" I spoke softly

"I need to tell Alice, I need to tell her now... she will know what is best." She spoke urgently "Alice needs to know, she will help me"

"Alice will be back soon you can tell her then, but for now you need to sleep" She settled, leaving me pondering what was so important that she needed to tell Alice.

I sat watching the gentle rise and fall of her chest for hours and the way she would occasionally smile in her sleep. All the time my hand was in contact with her skin or hair, it was if she held some form of magnetic pull and keeping my distance from her was just too difficult. I had never felt such contentment as I did watching Bella sleep.

She began to stir slightly, I reluctantly removed my hand from hers and quickly picked up my book. As Bella pulled the blankets to her face I assumed a position that suggested I had been reading all along. From the corner of my eye I saw her eyes open and a look of disorientation flash across her face.

"Good afternoon" I smiled

"Goodness gracious me! Edward I am so sorry. That was frightfully rude of me" she sat up right as she spoke.

"Bella you worry far too much. If you continue to fret as much as you do presently, you will ruin your beauty. And that would be a great pity." I spoke nothing but the truth, causing her to blush.

When she had finished blushing and ceased her unnecessary apologies, I informed her that she talked in her sleep. She appeared more than relieved that she had not said anything to embarrass herself. Bella moved herself to the edge of my bed and turned on the wireless, her legs swinging in time to the music. We sat and chatted about the little things in life and I was most pleased our friendship was such an easy and relaxed affair.

I became very disgruntled by a knock at my French doors, only two people ever entered my room that way, Alice and my parents. Alice was still in Birmingham so that left my parents as the other option, my mother had obviously returned for round two of the argument.

"Hello Father, Mother" I greeted them. Bella stood and greeted them too, only she was rather more pleasant to my mother than I had been.

She spent a short time talking to them before squeezing my shoulder and telling me it was time for her to leave.

My parents visit was fairy uneventful; my mother apologised for upsetting me but refused to admit she was in the wrong to say what she had. I accepted her apology of sorts and flashed her a smile as I tried my best to forget what she had said.

"Unfortunately Edward I have some sad news" my father began

"Please tell Father"

"I have to depart for London first thing in the morning. I have business to be getting on with. But it is not all bad as I shall be taking your mother with me" he jested.

"Thank you Father" I chuckled.

"Carlisle!" she scolded "Don't be so wretched! Would you care to remind me again why it was that I married you?"

"For my money and my good looks?"

"That sounds about right, it definitely was not for your kindness and compassion" my mother looked from my father and towards my bed. "Dear me, what has happened here? Did they not make your bed this morning?"

"Something like that Mother" I was definitely not about to disclose that Bella had been sleeping in it.

"More to the point dear boy, why have you not done it?" she said as she began to neaten the bed sheets and plump the pillow. Not content with just making the bed she began to tidy the room too.

Time moved on swiftly and soon it was time to bid farewell to my parents. Before they left they gave me their word that they would return before Christmas. My mother showered me in kisses and shed a few tears before my father hurried her through the door. I am not ashamed to admit that despite the disagreement I was sad to see my mother leave. I would miss her company dearly as well as my father's company and his sense of humour.

No sooner as they had left there was another knock on the door, it became apparent that I was not going to get any time to myself today.

"Enter" I called as I turned towards the door "Words cannot express how good it is to see you!"

"Well, I am looking pretty dapper" Alice said as she gave me a twirl in her blue dress "Edward, I have missed you. How are you?" she leant over and kissed both my cheeks as she spoke.

"I have missed you too Alice. If you want my honest answer then I have been better, but more to the point how is your grandmother? I was glad to hear from Nurse Swan that she was on the mend"

"My grandmother is doing well now thank you, she is back at home and coping well" she was beaming with happiness as she spoke. "Now my main concern is you. Edward you said you have been better and you look frightfully troubled. Would you care to talk about it?"

I sighed.

"It's ok, I fully understand if you do not wish to tell me and I shall take no offence"

"It is not that I don't wish to talk about it, the fact of the matter is I have no idea where to start."

"The best place to start is at the beginning, I am in no rush so feel free to take your time." Her voice was full of compassion as she spoke "Do you mind if I make myself comfortable and take a seat?"

I gestured for her to sit as I retrieved the whiskey bottle from the cupboard.

"Would you like a drink Alice?"

"Just a small one please. Now stop procrastinating and start talking. As you are aware I divulge nothing of our conversations to anyone else, this can be strictly confidential if you would like it to be"

"I would be most appreciative of your confidentiality and discretion" I poured the whiskey as I spoke, a small measure for Alice and a larger one for myself. Alice took her glass and sipped at its contents slowly where as I gulped down the golden liquid and swiftly poured myself another. "Do you remember when I told you of the girl I met in London?"

"Of course"

"My problem is concerning her" I sighed "I'm sorry Alice it is very difficult for me to speak about this" she leant forward and placed her hand gently upon my knee.

"Take your time, I'll be here for as long as you want or need me to be. You have my sincerest of promises that I shall not judge you or make assumptions"

"Thank you" I forced a sad smile before continuing. "As you are most probably aware I love this girl deeply and I always have and now I have remembered her and she has come back to me..."

"Edward that is wonderful news" she interrupted full of excitement

"It would be delightful news if it weren't for the fact she was engaged to some other man" my voice was tainted with a deep sorrow. "My feelings for her are stronger than ever but there is nothing I can do" this was the first time I had admitted it to anyone other than myself and I was choked by the intense emotions I was experiencing. I held my head in my hands and felt utterly helpless.

"Have you told her how you feel?" she was crouching down by my side with her hand on mine as she questioned me.

"I cannot bring myself to do it. I believe her rejection would leave my heart and soul crushed and I would be unable to recover. It would be the end of me"

"How do you know she would reject you? Why would it not be the fiancé that she rejected? After all relationships come to an end all the time"

"She doesn't even recall me, or so I thought until Nur... until someone told me she did remember who I was. She has mentioned nothing of our previous encounter which leads me to conclude that her feelings were never as strong as I had first assumed. I am part of her past, a past that she so obviously wants to forget, not her future"

"Who told you? Edward there is something that you are not telling me, what is it?" she moved from my side and sat once more in the chair, eyeing me with suspicion.

I gulped back the second whiskey and poured another. I was not entirely sure I was ready to confide in Alice but if I did not speak to someone soon my inner turbulence would surely drive me insane.

"The girl I am so very fond of is Nurse Swan" I spat it out quickly so I was not able to change my mind.

Alice sat there in shock, her mouth wide open. She lost her grip on her glass causing it to tumble to the floor, luckily it did not shatter "Isabella Swan?" she questioned

"Yes"

"Dark hair, brown eyes, full lips and is a nurse here?" she asked still in disbelief "Engaged to Private "_I'm so devilishly handsome_" Whitlock?"

"Yes, the very same" I lowered my gaze to the floor and readied myself for the chastising that she was more than likely about to bestow upon me.

"How marvellous..." she rubbed her hands together and appeared utterly elated at my revelation. I was more than a little shocked and puzzled by her positive reaction, how could she possibly think this situation was marvellous? "And so romantic too. You fall in love and are unfortunately separated, only to meet again when she is engaged to another. Now you must fight for her and win her back."

"This is not some Bette Davis and George Brent film Alice, this is real."

"I'm sorry Edward; I just think that you two would be so happy together"

"Please do not start sounding like my mother" I groaned.

"Your mother knows too?" she asked incredulously "Edward I think you need to explain everything from the very beginning"

I did as she requested starting from the very first time I encountered Nurse Swan at Bicton. I explained my turmoil at betraying _my Bella_ with my feelings for Nurse Swan and my guilt when I first realised who she was and at how quarrelsome and unfriendly I had been. I told her of my grief when I had learnt she was engaged and my horrendous wishes that harm would come to him when he left her to fight. I went on to disclose the nature of my argument with Mother and how an unreliable source had informed me of Bella's possible feelings towards me.

"That is a lot to take in; it is no wonder that you have had better days. Are you sure you do not wish to declare your feelings to her?"

"I am sure, she is engaged after all. As I have said the rejection will kill me and it would definitely put an end to our friendship."

We continued to discuss the matter until quite late. Alice had been nothing but supportive and I felt greatly relieved that I had confided in her. Before she retired for the evening Alice kissed me on both cheeks and whispered into my ear.

"I truly believe she could do no better than you. I shall fight your corner, even if you do not wish me to" she stood up and continued "It is late you have had a bit to drink, you should stop fretting and get some sleep. If it is meant to be then fate will bring you together. Goodnight Edward"

"Goodnight, and thank you for this evening, I'm glad you are back" I smiled and she left.

The following weeks moved all too quickly and were soon behind me. December was proving to be a very cold month. My parents wrote to me often and were planning another visit; I was hoping they would spend Christmas with me as I didn't relish the thought of being on my own. Of course I still had Bella and Alice for companionship but no doubt they would be otherwise occupied with family commitments. I was delighted when Alice told me that she had Christmas day off and that she would make some time to celebrate the festive season with me.

I was making good progress with my legs, both the doctor and Nurse Swan had informed me that it was going to be slow progress due to the nasty breaks I had suffered. Nonetheless I could now stand with relative ease and hold my weight for pretty much as long as I liked. I was looking forward to tomorrow as Nurse Swan was going to remove the dressings on my legs completely and she was planning to help me start taking my first few steps.

Due to my personal progress and my friendships with Bella and Alice my morale had improved tenfold, I was usually cheerful and my happy demeanour appeared to have pretty much returned. Today had started well like most days but I soon began my descent on a downward spiral.

After lunch I was enjoying spending a small amount of time in the company of Bella when Alice urgently stormed through my door. She said nothing for a moment but her enormous smile caused me to chuckle a little. She walked straight to Bella and took a firm hold of her wrist.

"Excuse me Edward" she said politely before beginning to remove Bella from the room by force. To an onlooker I'm certain the scene would have appeared most strange, but I was well aware that Alice was frightfully strange by nature. So I shook my head and chuckled once again and before going about my business.

I had decided it was about time that I organised my belongings and now was as good of time as any. I had begun the laborious task of sorting through my clothes when I noticed a small lump in the breast pocket of a blue shirt. With a bit of work to undo the small button the lump emerged as a small red box. I assumed this box contained my long lost set of silver cufflinks but closer inspection proved me wrong. It was none other than Nana Masen's ring and a little note from my mother.

My dearest Edward,

please do not be angry with me, I mean well.

I am certain you will need this soon.

Make her yours, you deserve the happiness she will bring.

Mother

Xxx

My blood instantly began to boil, I let out a growl and I screwed up my mother's note and threw it against the wall. How dare she continue to interfere, I am no longer a little boy and I am more than capable of making my own decisions. I picked up a pen and began to write her an angry worded letter to let her know just how enraged I was by her actions. After the first few lines I realised it was a rather futile task and abandoned it. The piece of paper was screwed up into a tight ball lying by my mother's note next to the French doors. I regained a little of my composure and made my way to the doors to retrieve the papers and put them in the bin. I was about to pick them up when I noticed Nurse Swan wrapped in a navy blue cardigan sitting on a bench with an unfamiliar fellow. The stranger was wearing a smart blue RAF uniform; he was very sturdy looking and powerfully built. Bella appeared very pleased to see him and was chatting animatedly. I was overcome with a powerful sensation of melancholy when I realised this must be her fiancé, yet slightly confused as to why Alice had referred to him has Private Whitlock when I could just about make out the pilot's insignia above his breast pocket. Alice must have become confused as this chap was most definitely a pilot.

I watched them converse through a green haze of jealousy that was covering my eyes, I clenched my fists tightly and repressed the urge to scream as she placed her hand on his muscular arm and smiled at him. I was about to put an end to my self inflicted torture and move myself from the doors when Bella began to become quite irate. Her fiancé did nothing to calm her, his gaze was fixed on the floor in front of him. Without looking at her he handed her what appeared to be an envelope, Bella quickly examined its contents before letting it fall to the floor. She screamed at him and began pounding her fists on his chest, even from this distance I could tell she was crying. He fiancé continued to do nothing, he did not try to stop her or calm her. I stared in utter disbelief at his total lack of compassion as I began to open my doors, I was not about to let him get away with treating someone as special as her in the vile manner. Did he not know how unbelievably lucky he was to have her? I began making my way over as I watched Bella stand and swiftly collapse on to the floor. I could clearly hear her sobs and screams as he tried to lift her from the floor.

I was already seething with anger left over from finding the ring and now my anger had intensified and was directed towards Bella's fiancé.

"What on earth have you done to Nurse Swan?" I growled as I got close enough for him to hear me. I got closer still and my eyes narrowed as I shook with fury and I began to roar "I suggest you do as she says and leave her alone, or so help me God I will not be held responsible for my actions. You call yourself a man? You must be an absolute bastard to have reduced a woman to this. I hope you are proud of yourself. NOW LEAVE!"

The pilot had yet to move an inch, I continued to stare at him menacingly, my instinct to protect Bella was in full swing. I was more than aware that in my present condition that if he wished for fight I stood no chance of winning. However win or lose Bella was worth fighting for.

I averted my gaze momentarily to attend to Bella. She was curled up on the floor violently shaking with each sob and tears were streaming down her face. The sight caused a caustic burning in my chest as my heart ripped open and bled for her pain.

"Bella, Bella darling. What has happened? Bella please tell me" I ran my hand along her cheek as I spoke; her skin was cold to the touch. She did not respond to me instead she continued to sob hysterically.

I took the time to give yet another intimidating stare to her fiancé before he wisely took my advice and left us, walking back toward the hospital.

"Bella, please come here. Let me get you off this cold floor and into the warm"

She slowly sat up and stared at me blankly unable to move as she continued to weep. I moved myself closer to her and scooped her into my lap. I cradled her for a moment before stroking her hair. She muttered my name before we began the journey to my room.

Once inside I placed her shivering body on my bed and began to cover her with the blankets. She looked up at me as I did so.

"Edward, please don't leave me here on my own. I need you to hold me. Please Edward, I need you" her weeping stopped as she pleaded

I hesitated for a moment debating what would happen if her fiancé found us together. I quickly pushed the thought to one side deciding that if that were the case I would deal with the consequences then, but for now she needed me.

I climbed upon the bed and rested my back against the head board as a still shivering Bella cuddled up beside me. She rested her head against my chest and burst into tears once more; I could do nothing but hold her tight. Occasionally I would give her a gentle squeeze and more often than needed I would lower my head and kiss her beautiful smelling hair. We lay together for what felt like an eternity, in reality it was about an hour and a half. From time to time I would stroke her cheek with my thumb and her crying would ease a little. If I knew what had happened outside perhaps I could have offered her some words of comfort but now was not the time to be pressing her for details, I was certain she would tell me when she was ready. Eventually Bella cried herself to sleep.

There was an urgent knock on my door and three nurses impatiently made their way into my room.

"Shhhh, she is asleep please don't wake her" I whispered in the direction of Alice, Nurse Webber and Nurse Hale, who all looked frightfully concerned.

Alice made her way towards the bed and perched next to Bella and began to stroke her hair "Poor Bella" she muttered.

"It is about time one of you showed up" I spat out in a hushed tone. Alice took her eyes away from Bella and flashed me a warning glance. "I'm sorry, that was unreasonable of me"

Nurse Hale was first to speak.

"I'm sorry I have been with Pilot Whitlock while Nurse Webber and Nurse Brandon have been taking care of the shift unaware of the events until now. I would have got here sooner but Pilot Whitlock was very unsettled by Bella's reaction. He informed me that she was with you and I knew she was in safe hands"

"So you put that wicked and abominable man before the needs of your friend?" I questioned rather harshly

"Not at all, like I said I knew she was in safe hands" she snapped at me "Pilot Whitlock is neither wicked nor abominable"

"Well that is not how he appeared to me; after all he responsible for reducing Bella into a sobbing heap on the floor. The only time she has ceased weeping is to fall asleep from sheer exhaustion"

"Edward, she would have had the same reaction to who ever had told her" Alice whispered while still gazing at Bella.

"Who ever told her what? Would someone care to tell me exactly what has occurred?" I quietly asked.

"Pilot Whitlock is Bella's fiancé's brother. Instead of letting Bella receive a telegram he bravely came today to tell her that Private Jasper Whitlock is missing in action and presumed dead" Angela quietly sobbed out whilst dabbing tears away from her eyes with a handkerchief.

"Oh well, that changes things. Perhaps I was wrong about the chap, I would not envy being in his position. I'm sorry"

We sat in silence for a while all deep in contemplation before Nurse Hale and Nurse Webber stood up and announced that they would escort Bella to her room for the evening. I declined their offer and informed them Bella would be fine here for as long as she wanted to be. Nurse Hale instantly flashed me a nasty look, it was a fight Nurse Hale would surely lose as I was not about to surrender and hand over Bella. Nurse Hale became quite obnoxious and demanded that I let her take Bella.

"Rose, Bella is comfortable here for now. If she wakes and is in need of us she is aware of where we are. Let's allow her some rest now" Alice whispered calmly, defending my decision.

"But what about the matron? This is most unprofessional of Bella, he could cost her her job!"

"Let's not be silly about this Rose, you know as well as I the matron is not here this week" Alice spoke sternly

Nurse Hale reluctantly agreed but looked very sour about the fact she had failed to win her battle. Nurse Webber and Nurse Hale made their way towards the door to leave.

Alice leant over to give Bella a gentle kiss goodnight on the forehead.

"Remember, I will fight your corner Edward" she whispered in to my ear as she leant over. She gave my arm a gentle squeeze and smiled at me before leaving my room.

**SQUEEEEE Edward has told Alice! **

**I don't know about you guys but I'm getting the impression that Alice likes Private "**_**I'm so devilishly handsome**_**" Whitlock**.

**Let me know what you think and have a lovely weekend**

**Magenta xx**


	23. Chapter 23

_**I wish I owned twilight but I don't, however Lance Corporal Cullen is all mine! **_

_**Saera and Niki are the best writing team ever and I owe them loads for helping me!**_

_**Thank you to everyone who reviewed I love reading them! I have had a load of new people put my story on alert so I look forward to reading their reviews too. **_

_**So everyone likes Alice which is a good thing!**_

_**Ok now it's time to find out what Jasper's letter said and maybe someone is going to kiss someone? I'm not telling you will have to read and find out...**_

Bella 

I awoke early in the morning, far earlier than was normal for me. It was still dark and the birds had not yet begun singing their tuneful songs. After a night of what appeared to be the most terrible of nightmares I felt utterly drained. I was only when it came to my attention that I was surrounded by the delicious smell of Edward and that my head was resting upon his muscular chest that the familiar feeling of grief squeezed at my chest. I quickly realised that it had not been a dream and it was reality, my heart beginning to ache once more. It was wrong of me to do so but I pushed the feelings of grief aside for a moment to fully appreciate that I was by Edward's side, in his bed.

From the cramped confines of the single bed I gazed up at him and watched him sleeping. His arm was wrapped tightly around my waist holding me close to his body. I watched as his chest steadily and almost silently rose and fell in an almost hypnotic rhythm. He looked so relaxed and peaceful, his face resembling that of an innocent young boy without a care in the world. I allowed myself to ponder how different things would have been if I had chosen Edward and he had chosen me. I could have been Mrs Isabella Cullen. Our children would have been beautiful just like their father and we could have lived happily ever after content in each other's arms. More importantly I could tell him just how much I loved him.

_Isabella Swan, Jasper has not even been gone five minutes, possibly not even cold in the ground and you are thinking about confessing your love to someone else? How could you be so heartless? _My inner voice began to scold me and quite rightly too.

I was more than aware that my inner voice was right, I was a terribly selfish person and I deserved the tongue lashing it had given me. I pulled myself away from Edward and sat up, holding my knees tightly to my chest for comfort. I tried my very hardest to offer myself some reassurance, reasoning that I would never tell Edward my feelings. _I_ was well aware that I had felt this way since our first encounter, nonetheless I would not betray Jasper or his memory by letting Edward know how I felt.

Oh poor Jasper, he did not deserve any of this and I was certainly not worthy of his love and affection. He could have done so much better than choosing me, he could have found his soul mate. Now he was gone, more than likely dead, I choked a little at the thought.

I attempted to find some comfort in the notion that Jasper knew nothing of my conflicted feelings; he would have died believing he was loved. He would have been correct in his belief because I could not deny the fact that I loved him dearly, only recently had it become apparent that the depth of my feelings were just not enough. Edward returning had proved that to me, without him I would have been living a lie. Maybe this awful situation was for the best, at least I did not have to break Jasper's heart.

How could I be thinking like this? Had I just thought that it was perhaps a good thing that Jasper was gone? What has happened to me to make me such a frightfully horrible person?

My mind began replaying all the wonderful times I had spent with Jasper, all the fun we had had together, all the laughter that we had shared and I could almost hear my heart tear in two. I could not deny Jasper had a part of my heart and soul. If Edward had not existed Jasper and I would have been happy, we would have stood a chance.

The familiar squeezing of my chest returned, limiting my ability to draw breath. I began to sob at the thought of never hearing his voice again, never touching his mousey blond hair, I would never again see he his smile or hear his laughter. I already missed him terribly. I was wrong, so dreadfully wrong, a broken heart was better than death. With time his heart would have mended, eventually he would have recovered, but there was certainly no recovery from death, death was final.

I had not one ounce of control over the whimpering and wailing coming forth from my lips as I began to break down.

A pair of strong arms took hold of my and gently pulled me against a warm body. Edward held me tight as I called Jasper's name.

"He cannot be dead Edward, he can't" I sobbed "I want him to come back to me, he promised me! He promised to come back"

"Oh Bella, I am so sorry" he whispered with his cheek resting on my head.

"I was going to keep my word and marry him, it is only right that he keep his word... he was so young"

"Shh darling. As hard as it is you should try and take a little comfort in the fact he is missing. You do not know for certain that he is dead, he could come back to you" Edward rocked me gently back and forth as he spoke.

"Do not fill me full of false hopes Edward, it is most unfair" I snivelled putting a stop to my tears "I know he is gone, his letters have stopped. When he did write his letters grew more and more depressed, he was so very troubled by it all, you see" I recalled the note Emmett had given me yesterday and it began to burn violently in my pocket. Yesterday I had been most confused by Jasper's note but today it appeared clearer. I began to feel sick as the pieces of the puzzle began to slot in place and the situation began to make sense.

"There could be a rational explanation for that, there is a war on and post is misplaced often in the chaos" I was very thankful for Edward's reassurance, but in my heart a clear picture of what had happened to my fiancé was steadily forming.

"No Edward the only rational explanation is that he is dead" I stifled back the tears and I pulled myself away from his hold and hurriedly removed the letter and began to read.

"_**My dearest Bella,**_

_**My life away from you is nothing but agony,**_

_**All my hope of returning to you is slowly ebbing.**_

_**We launch an attack tomorrow and I fear that this will be the last time **_

_**you hear from me.**_

_**I never wanted to break your heart,**_

_**I never intended to break my promises by not returning to you.**_

_**However, the decisions have been removed from my hands**_

_**I have no choice to follow orders"**_

"Bella this proves nothing, I have written letters along the same lines when I was involved with combat it..."

"Please let me finish" my voice was timid and barely audible as I interrupted.

"_**Remember that whatever happens that I love you and**_

_**nothing will ever change that.**_

_**Forever yours,**_

_**Jasper."**_

"Like I said Bella, I have written letters not dissimilar to this one myself. Do not read too much into it, war is a terrible thing. Service men see things worse than you could ever imagine, in fact every sense a man possesses is horribly abused by..."

"Dam and Blast it Edward! Don't you dare lecture me on the horrors of war" I snapped "I could not do the job I do without developing a good understanding of the atrocities men inflict upon each other. Now let me finish Lance Corporal" I all but yelled the last part.

"I'm sorry" Edward gaze was directed at the floor as he spoke. I instantly felt dreadful for my unnecessary outburst, after all Edward had been nothing but kind and had only been trying to help me.

"I am aware you have a valid point and if Jasper's letter had ended there I would not be so frightfully worried. However after he has signed his name his has written what appears to be a poem"

"_**I knew a simple soldier boy  
Who grinned at life in empty joy,  
Slept soundly through the lonesome dark,  
And whistled early with the lark.**_

_**In winter trenches, cowed and glum  
With crumps and lice and lack of rum"**_

My voice wavered and then broke and the tears flowed freely from my eyes as I read the last line.

"_**He put a bullet through his brain.  
No one spoke of him again"**_

"Do you now see why I am so certain that my Jasper has gone?" I said between sobs. "This is surely nothing more than his final sad goodbyes... he has gotten himself killed Edward, surely you can see that now" I began to hug my knees once more, attempting to find some form of comfort from the action.

"Oh Bella. Jasper's hand may have scrawled this poem in ink but these are the words of a well known poet, not his own." Edward placed his hand upon my knee as he spoke, his voice was full of comfort and compassion. "Why on earth would you think he would do such a thing?" I offered no reply to his question "Bella, you are a marvellous girl, you are so bright, kind, funny and caring not to mention beautiful" he delicately placed his hand underneath my chin and tilted my face to look at his "If you were mine I would travel through hell and high water to get back to you, the thought of never seeing you again would destroy my soul. I risked my own life and the lives of my men to rescue the girl I loved. Surely you can see he would not have taken his own life" his voice was nothing but sincere, I desperately wished for his words to be true and that I was his girl.

"Beautiful?" I scoffed through my tears, still clinging to my legs "I am anything but beautiful Edward. My hair is a frightful mess, my eyes are red from crying and I am still in this ghastly uniform. But thank you" I sniffed and forced a smile.

Edward opened his arms gesturing for me to move towards him and I wasted no time in accepting his offer of comfort and I snuggled up next to him.

I must have dozed off for a while as I was startled awake by a knock on the door. Alice, Angela and Rose entered each wearing a sombre looking expression. I made my way off Edward's bed and unsteadily ran towards Angela embracing her, crying silently into her shoulder. Rose joined the embrace and planted a soft kiss on the top of my head. Alice had made her way over to Edward and they were busy conversing in whispers.

"Bella would you like to go upstairs? I'm sure Rose and Angela would not mind getting all of us something to eat and drink while I make you comfortable?" Alice's voice was filled with kindness and empathy.

I could not find the energy to reply so I merely nodded. Rose and Angela released me and began their journey to the canteen. The emotional exertion had left me a little weak and I began to wobble without their support, nonetheless I successfully made my way towards Edward's bed and sat down next to him.

"I shall give you a minute, I shall be right outside the door Bella" Alice smiled and left.

"Edward, I want to say thank you for your kindness. You were there for me when I needed you and I greatly appreciate it" I took a hold of his hand and squeezed it gently "You are a very special person and I think the world of you" I let go of his hand and placed my arms around his neck and embraced him tightly, my cheek pressing up against his. I moved my head slightly and placed a long kiss on his cheek. With great effort I managed to prise myself from him and whispered another thank you in his ear.

He gently wiped a stray tear from my eye with his thumb, before smiling sadly and reminding me Alice was waiting for my company.

Alice and I walked slowly and silently down the corridor hand in hand. As we passed the nurse's station I was startled by the sound of a man coughing. I jumped a little causing Alice to reassure me it was Pilot Whitlock.

"He has been dreadfully worried about you Bella" she said as we approached the end of the corridor "Your reaction upset him deeply, for a long while he refused to leave the hospital without seeing you first. Rose promised him the chance to speak to you at some point today"

"He must think of me as horrible and violent fool, after all I spent a good deal of time hitting him" my voice was flat, I had no emotion left at all.

"Not at all Bella, he was so worried about you he arrived here at six this morning"

I could muster no reply.

"If it is acceptable with you I thought after we had had breakfast, I would invite Pilot Whitlock to come and speak with you"

I nodded my head

"That is if I can tear him from Rose's side, I think romance maybe in the air" she chuckled. I wished I had the strength to smile at Alice's comment as I was happy for Rose, but try as I might no smile appeared on my face.

Once upstairs Alice took me to the bathroom where she had placed some clean clothes for me and run me a hot bath. She helped me to undress and I offered no resistance when she helped me into the water. She insisted that I spent at least half an hour relaxing. Immersed in the warm water I sat hugging my knees tightly as Alice washed my hair for me. I was grateful of the fact she never left my side, her constant chatting was the only thing stopping me from slipping under the water never to surface again.

She helped me to dress before escorting me to my room. Angela and Rose were already sat at the desk with breakfast for us all laid out in front of them. The sight of the eggs and toast made me feel dreadfully sick. So I declined my food, instead sitting in silence staring from my window occasionally sipping at a glass of juice. My three friends also sat in silence, either not knowing what to say to me or having given up when I offered them no reply. However silent they were I desperately needed their company, just knowing they were there was a great comfort to me. Angela explained that she had taken the liberty of speaking to the matron and arranging me some time off, before she began clearing away the breakfast things. She carefully kissed my forehead before telling me she would be back later. Rose left with her, leaving me once again alone with Alice. She moved herself to sit next to me on the bed and put her arm around my back and placed her head on my shoulder.

"I'm going to fetch Pilot Whitlock now so you can speak with him. I shall be right outside the door if you require me for anything, anything at all" her voice was quiet and full of concern.

I did nothing, I didn't speak or move I just continued to hold my knees and stare out of the window.

"Bella, I put the picture of Jasper in the drawer next to you bed, just in case you did not wish to see it just yet"

After Alice had left I took the photograph from my drawer and held it close to me.

I was barely conscious of the world around me when Emmett took a seat in front of me. I gazed in his direction as he spoke but I saw nothing. I was vaguely aware of him speaking about how I was fortunate to have been blessed with friends as good as the nurses and the Lance Corporal. I offered no response as I could not find the strength within me, all my available energy was being used to stop me from falling apart at the seams.

I had no concept of how long I was in his company for. As he stood up to leave I managed to find enough energy to speak.

"I am sorry for causing you worry. After all, you have lost your brother I should not be causing you concern" I did not recognise my own voice as I spoke. It was drained of all life and emotion and hoarse from crying.

"Do not be so preposterous Isabella, anything my brother loved I will hold dear to me." he sat next to me and held me, swamping me with his enormous arms "I will return to see you as often as is possible, but for the mean time please let your friends take care of you"

We sat in silence and looked at the photograph together for a long while before he gave me a gentle squeeze and departed.

The next few days passed me by in a daze. If I was not crying it was only due to the fact I was too exhausted to cry. Alice, Angela and Rose visited me when ever was possible. Alice often bringing me a note or a bunch of flowers from Edward and an explanation how much he missed my company and hoped I was coping adequately. Rose and Angela were keeping me a breast of the events unfolding downstairs. I rarely took notice of anything they said, not because it was of no interest to me but because I was just so utterly lost in my own hurt. Alice did her best to encourage me to leave my room and spend time elsewhere; often reminding me that Edward was concerned for me and wished to see me. Every time I thought of him I was betraying Jasper's memory, so for now I thought it best to avoid his company. I had also received a letter from Emmett. It contained neither bad nor good news, he was simply informing me that he had received no more correspondence with regards to Jasper's whereabouts and that he was planning a visit to see me shortly.

Presently my mother is just about to leave after spending the afternoon and early evening at my bedside. Angela had called for her assistance again as she was worried for my physical and mental health. Apparently lack of speech and appetite amongst other things was not a reasonable way for me to deal with my grief. Before she departed she held me tightly to her chest and asked me if I would like to come home for a while. I shook my head in response to her offer, although I was downright useless at the present time I would soon have to go back to my duties. My mother's hug could not have ended soon enough for me as I had been the victim of far too many an embrace in recent days. I realise victim is a curious term to describe peoples affections however with the exception of Alice no one had the decency to ask if I wished for their touch, they simply bestowed it upon me.

I had not been particularly talkative today with my mother, but I had spoken and I felt somewhat brighter. Perhaps it was my mother's talk of Christmas, I was rather taken aback to hear it was only a little over a week away. I had eaten a little dinner at my mother's request and was more than shocked that I had actually enjoyed the homemade soup she had bought with her. I had left Edward's room five days ago and since then I had spent no more than a scarce moment alone. Now my mother had left I was very much alone, the girls were too busy downstairs to visit tonight. The loneliness began to slowly envelope and suffocate me. On the spur of the moment I decided to rid myself of my nightdress and put on a frock to take a stroll around the gardens.

It was past six o clock and it was black as pitch outside, the windy was icy cold. Under normal circumstances I was not fond of cold weather much preferring the summer months, but tonight it was different. I took a deep breath and the cool crisp air alleviated the constant ache crying had left in my lungs, the icy breeze was invigorating against my skin. For the first time since Emmett had visited me with the news of Jasper I felt alive and alert, the December night clearing my mind. I walked for around half an hour staying reasonably close to the hospital as I have never been inclined to walk too far in the dark. My mind was so occupied by the notion that I felt almost as if I was myself again that I failed to notice the voice calling from the darkness behind me.

"Bella!" it shouted now and I turned to see Edward sat around ten feet behind me in his outside doorway calling me.

I took a tentative step towards him unsure of whether I was strong enough to with stand the wave of guilt that would surely wash over me for spending time in his company.

"Isabella, I have been so worried about you. Alice has assured me you were as well as could be, but I needed to see for myself" his voice was soft and full of concern yet somehow edged with delight. I felt a slight twinge of guilt as I took a few more little steps towards him but it was nothing I felt I could not deal with.

"What on earth are you doing out here in the cold and the dark Bella? For heaven's sake girl come on inside in the warm" his gentle scolding was well meant and his eyes were wide with what appeared to be worry. I had been taking baby steps towards him while he was speaking leaving a gap of a few feet between us. As I got closer he held out his arms for me, as tired of embraces as I was I failed to resist the pull that emanated from his body and I ran the last few paces to him launching myself into his arms.

"Bella, darling you are frightfully cold, where is your coat? Come on inside" he attempted to move his chair backwards presumably to invite me in. His chair moved nowhere as my arms would not release their grip around his neck, he gently took hold of my waist and sat me on his lap once more. If I am to be honest with myself it was one of my favourite places to spend my time. Since the other morning when I had left him I had tried my hardest not to think of Edward, pushing all thoughts of him aside but now I was with him once again I wanted to be nowhere else.

"You appear pleased to see me Bella" he chuckled a little while putting both his arms around me

"Up until this moment I have not realised how much I had missed you" I spoke nothing but the truth

After I had reluctantly removed myself from him and sat down on his bed I thanked him for the flowers he had sent up to me and for his concern. We conversed for a while about my current situation and Edward seemed dreadfully concerned that I had lost weight and that I was not my normal self. It appeared Alice had kept him well informed of my situation as he was aware my mother had been to visit me and the fact that for the best part of a week I had barely eaten, moved or uttered a word.

"I cannot deny those things Edward because they are all true" I sighed "but this evening I have started to pull myself together a little. As silly as it sounds other than a few words to my mother and to Jas.." I hesitated, not ready to speak his name aloud just yet "Pilot Whitlock, this is the most I have spoken since I had left you"

"If I am to be honest Bella, the accounts I have been receiving from Alice have not been positive ones. She has been terribly concerned for you" he looked directly into my eyes as he spoke.

"I know. She has also been a great help and comfort to me"

"She has not been the only one that has been worried" his gaze was directed at the floor now and he appeared a little unsure of himself "Why did you not pay me a visit or reply to my notes? I have often contemplated the long and painful journey up the stairs to knock upon your door." he sighed and ran his fingers through his bronze hair as he spoke "I have been beside myself with worry for you and have felt utterly useless down here"

"I'm so sorry" I choked out as I burst into tears once more "First Pilot Whitlock then Alice, Angela and Rose, and now you. I have honestly not meant to cause all this worry and anguish, it was not my intention at all. I certainly do not..."

"Bella, we are your friends! We are meant to care and worry about you, and to look after you if you would let us"

"Thank you" I sniffed wiping the tears away from my cheeks.

"I was just about to pour a whiskey when I noticed you wandering outside. Would you care to join me for one or two?"

I eagerly nodded as he made his way over to his cupboard, chuckling as he went.

"Erm... Edward what is so amusing?" my confusion more than a little apparent.

"It was not so long ago that you were lay on my bed informing me that not even a single drop of alcohol was going to pass your lips again Miss Swan" he smile was more intoxicating and warming than alcohol ever could be.

I could not suppress my smile as I replied

"Desperate times call for desperate measures, so make mine a double"

Edward burst into laughter and the sound was music to my ears

"It is nice to have your company again" he smiled as I took the large whiskey he was holding out for me.

I watched as Edward carefully sipped at the drink and savoured the taste of the amber coloured liquid before I chose to gulp it down in its entirety. In doing so I lacked all the grace and dignity Edward was conducting himself with. The fiery taste burnt as it slid quickly down my throat causing me to gasp and shake my head quickly from side to side. The drink had taken my breath from me and I was left unable to speak momentarily. With my right hand I handed the glass back to him while pointing at the bottle of whiskey with my left.

"Well, well girl you certainly can drink!" he chuckled "Am I to assume you wish for another glass?"

"Yes please" I caught my breath just long enough to speak. He poured another glass similar in size to the first one and I repeated the same action, quickly sinking the drink in one mouthful. The burning pain was not as bad as the first time and I managed to politely ask for another. Although I had only consumed two drinks, I had declined my food recently so I was already beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol. It had a pleasant numbing effect allowing me to forget my troubles.

"Are you sure you want another one? Your facial expressions appear to show that you are not impressed by the taste. I have some sweet sherry if you prefer?"

"Sherry sounds pleasant, thank you"

"I will pour you a glass of sherry if you promise me one thing" he said as he reached into the cupboard to retrieve the bottle "Please do not drink this one so swiftly, you shall end up frightfully ill if you continue at this pace"

"I promise" I spoke sincerely "It is just alcohol appears to numb my pain"

"In one respect you are correct alcohol will numb the pain, but it does nothing but push it aside. We all need to deal with our problems Isabella, pushing them to one side does more harm than good in the end"

"Just for tonight, just one night I would like to push it all aside and enjoy your company without the constant ache I have been forced to endure" I played with my fingers not wanting to meet his gaze "Edward, tonight I would like to be normal. I would like us both to be oblivious to recent events, I would like us to have fun with no thought of upsetting issues. I am aware I have no right to ask but please could you do that for me" I was very nearly begging as I looked up at him through my eye lashes.

"If that is what you want then I shall do my best to comply" he smiled softly "But I will still insist on you keeping your promise. I do not wish to acquire a reputation for enabling young ladies, such as yourself, to become intoxicated"

"I shall keep my word if you promise me that you will treat me no differently than a week ago and you do not mention Jas.." I choked a little as the feeling of guilt resurfaced and tugged at my stomach "...him" I hesitated as I finished my sentence.

Edward held out his hand and we shook upon the deal.

The evening passed at a steady pace and I basked in the delight of feeling myself once more. We played a few games of cards whilst continuing to drink together. The laughter flowed freely between us and I was truly happy. It was nearing ten when Edward reached into his wardrobe and produced a photo album. He placed it on the table between us and asked if I would like to take a look at the photographs inside. I excitedly agreed moving my chair closer to his. Our chairs were now touching as we examined the pages of the album, each time he turned the page his arm would brush my arm. I was delighted to see a few adorable photographs of him as a small boy but most were of a more recent dashingly handsome Edward. A particular photograph caught my eye and I leaned in to examine it closer. Edward appeared to be stood proudly next to another soldier outside a familiar dance hall in Whitechapel, I was feeling the effects of the alcohol and was quite tipsy so I decided it best to ask just to make sure.

"Was this taken in Whitechapel Edward?"

He leaned in to take a closer look, our faces were nearly touching as we stared at the picture. So close that I could feel his warm breath and smell his delicious scent which was now laced with faint traces of whiskey and sherry.

"Yes it is. It was taken just before a dance I attended shortly before journeying to France"

I was almost certain this was taken the evening I first met Lance Corporal Cullen, my memories of that wonderful evening began to flood back to me and incapacitate my brain leaving me staring at the picture. Without thinking I allowed my mouth to speak

"Such a handsome man" the words spilled freely from my mouth as I ran my finger over his face in the picture.

"You think?" he questioned quietly

Feeling a little embarrassed I turned towards his face to reply

"Yes" I all but whispered, his face so close to mine that a whisper was all that was warranted.

He moved a fraction of an inch closer to me, our lips now almost touching as he whispered a breathless thank you.

I felt his warm soft lips press against mine as he kissed me, his tongue grazed along my bottom lip sending shivers down my spine as his hand cupped my face. Our tongues began exploring each other's mouths as I savoured his delectable taste, my hand started to move upwards settling in his hair. Suddenly the slow and delicate pace of our kiss became more passionate and urgent our mouths moving much quicker, my fingers tugging on his hair, his hand pressing my face closer to his. My heart beat raced as Edward's breathing got faster and heavier, our tongues still dancing together. I gave in to my body's urges and without breaking my contact with him I forcefully pushed my chair from underneath me and sat myself down upon his lap. His hands were now firmly around my waist as my hands raked passionately through his hair, I stifled a moan as he gently sucked on my bottom lip. My breathing went wild as his kisses trailed down my neck, across the length of my collar bone then began to travel up the other side of my throat. He stopped briefly at my ear to whisper my name before his lips returned to mine.

I was experiencing pure unadulterated heaven, despite my body's aching desires my subconscious decided to give me a sharp slap around the face and reminded me of Jasper. I felt as if someone had winded me, I pulled away from Edward's grip.

"How dare you take advantage of me like that Lance Corporal" I screamed at the top of my lungs "I have only just lost my Jasper and you get me drunk so you can have your wicked way with me." I slapped him hard across his cheek the sound so loud it echoed around his room "I thought more of you than that, I thought you were my friend. How very wrong I was, I have learnt the hard way that you are an uncaring and devious bastard" I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes but I refused to release them.

Edward stared at me looking positively shocked while holding his cheek in his hand. He had just opened his mouth to reply when the door burst open.

"Is everything ok?" Alice asked. I pushed passed her and ran sobbing from Edward's room. I was vaguely aware she was following me as I ran to my room and threw myself on my bed.

"Bella, what has upset you?" she asked as she perched next to my shaking body.

"Everything has gone wrong Alice, everything." I sniffed regaining some of my composure.

"I do not wish to speak out of turn Bella but the whole ward heard you scream at Edward that he had taken advantage of you. Would you care to explain your accusation further?" her voice was soft

"I was taking a stroll in the gardens when Edward called me into his room. He said he was worried about me..."

"Yes that is true, he has been frightfully concerned for your well being. Twice now I have had to stop him from climbing the stairs to see you"

"...He got me drunk and kissed me Alice, he took advantage of me, I thought he cared for me"

"Oh Bella" she opened her arms to me and I accepted her embrace "Bella you are dreadfully upset and you are in a very difficult emotional place so please do not be angry with me when I say this. Edward does not seem to be the type of man that would take advantage especially when he appears to care for you so much. I have to ask this..." she hesitated a little before continuing "Did you kiss him back?"

I nodded.

"It would be wrong of me to deny it, I kissed him back." I wiped the tears from my face "It would be a lie if I said I had not reciprocated but I have been given a large quantity of sherry, without the drink there is no way I would have done it. Poor Jasper would be turning in his grave if he could see me now"

Alice said nothing she just held me and offered me comfort. Alice was a true friend she never passed judgment on me and she was always there to offer me advice and comfort when I needed it, I was truly grateful for her, more grateful than she could ever realise. After a while she suggested I change back into my nightdress and get some rest. Even though I had spent the majority of the week in my bed I reluctantly agreed. I sat on the floor as she unpinned and brushed my hair for me.

"Bella please believe me when I say I know what you are going through loosing Jasper and I will always be here for you" he voice was sombre and I turned to see her eyes filling with tears.

"Is there something you are not telling me? It is obviously upsetting you Alice, please feel free to share your troubles."

"Now is not the time to be discussing my life. If you are feeling a little more positive tomorrow we shall discuss it then" I could tell by her expression it was the end of the matter and she would discuss it no further tonight.

"It was nice to see you out of your room today" she said as she removed the final pin

"If I am to be honest it was nice to be out, these four walls are beginning to stifle me. I was thoroughly enjoying myself until..." I decided it best not to finish my sentence

"I know you don't want to hear this right now Bella, but I think Edward cares for you more than you realise. I believe his fondness surpasses the boundaries of a normal friendship."

If what Alice was saying was true then surely he would remember me from Whitechapel? I sighed at the thought.

"I know, you have just lost Jasper, I realise that Bella." not knowing anything of the past Edward and I shared she misinterpreted my sigh "But I truly believe that that man would wait a life time for you to be ready"

No sooner than she had finished speaking there was a loud pounding on my door. I could hear Rosalie's voice uttering cross words before an all too familiar voice called my name through the door.

"BELLA"

**YAY they kissed!**

**But who is at the door? Edward? Jasper? Emmett?**

**I have written the next chapter so I know what happens and I think you are all going to love it! However Lance Corporal Cullen has asked me not to post it until you all review!**

**Magenta xx **


	24. Chapter 24

_**I wish I owned twilight but I don't, but hands off Lance Corporal Cullen! He is all mine!**_

_**Thanks to everyone who takes the time to review, I love reading your thoughts, but I wish more of you would send me a review!**_

_**I'm updating earlier than planned as Katy has sweetened me up with photos!**_

_**So yeah, they kissed, and yeah Bella is being a total cow! But she is so confused so try not to be too hard on her!**_

_**Do you want to know who was at Bella's door? **_

Edward 

Alice's kind words of friendship and loyalty replayed in my head as I stared down at the delicate form of Bella lying close to me on my bed. Although asleep Bella looked anything but relaxed, her eye lids and nose red from crying, her cheeks still damp from the tears that had fallen and her expression one of sadness and grief. As I ran my fingers through her chocolaty brown hair she stirred slightly and moved her arm across my chest. My heart skipped a beat as she quietly muttered my name. Under different circumstances the position I found myself in now would have been something to rejoice about, a cause for jubilation and merriment. However seeing Bella so upset caused me nothing but agonising pain. Each time she had let out a sob my heart tore a little, each time a tear rolled down her cheek I fought hard to hold back my own, her grief inflicting upon me a greater amount of pain than my injuries could ever have done. Still sporting my stiff khaki uniform, I attempted to move from the bed and change into something more comfortable. As I slid across the bed Bella's grip tightened like a vice across my chest,

"Don't" she murmured in her sleep, her breathing becoming slightly erratic as her panic levels began to steadily increase. He body was tense and rigid as she continued to speak "I don't want to be alone"

I abandoned my plans to change, instead concluding that the best course of action was to be holding her tightly and placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head to try and calm her obvious anxiety.

"I'm not going anywhere darling, I'm here" I reassured. Her body began to relax once more and her breathing returned to a steady pace.

My breast pocket began to smoulder, threatening to combust as I remembered the little red box it housed. I took out the box and opened it, staring at the sparkling diamond. All the anger directed at my mother for leaving the ring had dissipated instead a morose wave of sadness and regret washed over me. As I maintained my loitering gaze I considered what would have been if I had not left Whitechapel and how different things could have been. Trying to push aside my notions I snapped the box shut, the loud noise causing Bella to move slightly. The engagement ring on her finger caught my eye and I fought the urge to remove it and position my one in its place.

"I love you" she whispered

My heart raced at the thought that these words were addressed to me and not her fiancé, knowing fore well that my notions were ridiculous and not to mention inappropriate. Those words were meant for her man, the man she had loved and lost.

I gave a loud sigh of defeat as I replaced the red box back into my pocket, I gave Bella a gentle squeeze before resting my head on hers and reluctantly trying to fall asleep. Although I was tired my body would not surrender to my need for rest, not wanting to waste a moment of having her so close to me, knowing it would be the only time it would happen. Eventually I could hold out no longer, my eyelids became impossibly heavy and the inevitable happened.

I was awoken the next morning to the sounds of heartfelt sobbing cutting through the silence of my slumber. I slowly opened my eyes to find the sky still dark but more importantly I found the source of the sorrowful noise. It was Bella, after spending the entire night lying next to me she was now in an upright position, clutching her legs close to her chest and weeping. Once more the tears followed freely from her deep brown eyes down her cheeks in minute salty rivers. Without uttering a word I pulled her close to me, when she called Jasper's name it was like a rusty bayonet to my chest, stabbing my heart repeatedly. I am well aware that feeling like this was dreadfully rotten. I should have been thinking about the poor grieving girl next to me not myself, nonetheless I had never tried to deny the fact that I am essentially a selfish creature. Years of experience allowed me to expertly mask my truly inappropriate feelings and I offered her nothing but reassurance and comfort. I held her tightly and gently rocked her back and forth to soothe her as she spoke of her promise to marry him and his promise to return to her.

She gently scolded my optimism when I skirted around the issue that she did not know for certain he was gone. She spoke of his letters growing more depressed as time went on until they eventually came to a halt and she received no more.

"There could be a rational explanation for that, there is a war on and post is misplaced often in the chaos" I spoke gently offering her some hope once again.

"No Edward the only rational explanation is that he is dead" her voice was a little stronger now and she managed to hold back her tears. I reluctantly loosened my grip as she started to struggle away from my hold. She retrieved a piece of folded paper from the pocket of her uniform and hastily yet with great care unfolded it. She took a deep breath and chewed on her bottom lip then began to read out loud. It was a letter, the last letter sent by her husband to be. I will freely admit it was a sombre letter filled with despair but I also had to admit that war did unusual things to even the strongest of men's emotions.

"Bella this proves nothing, I have written letters along the same lines when I was involved with combat it..."

"Please let me finish" she interrupted me just as I had interrupted her. She continued to read her voice becoming more and more timid and her distress more obvious.

Her bravery held out until she finished reading the letter.

"Like I said Bella, I have written letters not dissimilar to this one myself. Do not read too much into it, war is a terrible thing. Service men see things worse than you could ever imagine, in fact every sense a man possesses is horribly abused by..."

"Dam and Blast it Edward! Don't you dare lecture me on the horrors of war. I could not do the job I do without developing a good understanding of the atrocities men inflict upon each other. Now let me finish Lance Corporal" she shouted. Her anger was most apparent and all of it was directed at me.

I apologised feeling instantly guilty for causing her further upset. My guilt prevented me from looking at her face, afraid of seeing the distress I had caused so instead I gazed at the floor.

"I am aware you have a valid point and if Jasper's letter had ended there I would not be so frightfully worried. However after he has signed his name his has written what appears to be a poem" her voice was still stern but somewhat less angry. She began to read again only this time it was not Jasper's words she was reading, it was those of the Great War poet Siegfried Sassoon. It was a terribly sad poem I believe to be called Suicide in the trenches, written about a young boy so horrified with the war he chose to end his own life. As she read the last lines her bravery faltered, unable to hold up any longer she began to fall apart.

"Do you now see why I am so certain that my Jasper has gone? This is surely nothing more than his final sad goodbyes... he has gotten himself killed Edward, surely you can see that now" he held her knees ever so tightly as she sobbed out her words.

Bella had mistaken these words as a suicide note from Private Whitlock. It was understandable why she had formed this conclusion as it was not uncommon for this type of event to happen. The battlefields were horrendous places with very few means of escape; suicide was slightly more honourable than being shot for desertion. I gently informed her that they were not Jasper's own words but that of a poet. I spared her the details of who had wrote it as now was not the time to bore her with my undeniable love of verse.

"Why on earth would you think he would do such a thing?" I asked. I placed my hand under her chin pulling up her face so she was looking at me "Bella, you are a marvellous girl, you are so bright, kind, funny and caring not to mention beautiful. If you were mine I would travel through hell and high water to get back to you, the thought of never seeing you again would destroy my soul. I risked my own life and the lives of my men to rescue the girl I loved. Surely you can see he would not have taken his own life" it killed me to say these things, to reassure her that her fiancé would return. After all had I not wished in the recent past that this would happen, that her fiancé would be killed so she could be free to be with me?

"Beautiful?" she scoffed through her upset and a small glimmer of her usual self returned. "I am anything but beautiful Edward. My hair is a frightful mess, my eyes are red from crying and I am still in this ghastly uniform. But thank you" Her eyes were bright her cheeks blushed a slight shade of pink and she wore a small smile, albeit forced.

She made her way into my open arms once more and she drifted off to sleep again. I was unable to sleep, my mind concluding that it was far more productive to watch the beautiful creature sleeping by my side.

Around an hour later Bella was startled awake by a loud and urgent knock at my door followed by the appearance of three nurses. She ran towards Nurse Webber and held her, Nurse Hale joined the embrace giving her a kiss, Alice however made her way over to me.

"How has she been Edward?" her hushed tone was filled with nothing but concern. Her concern was also mirrored in her eyes and the sombre expression she wore.

"She has slept a little, but mostly she has been beside herself. The only time her crying has ceased is when she has cried herself to sleep"

"She tries her best to be strong but in reality she is such a delicate little thing" she let out a long heartfelt sigh.

"Alice, she will need her friends and her family. She is under the impression that her fiancé has taken his own life. Despite offering her all the reassurance I can I am sad to say that from the letter she read out to me that I would not be at all surprised if that was the case"

Alice smiled joylessly before suggesting to Bella that she go up stairs while the remaining two nurses retrieved some breakfast, she nodded in reply before making her way to my bed. Alice excused herself for a moment informing Bella she would be outside my room.

"Edward, I want to say thank you for your kindness. You were there for me when I needed you and I greatly appreciate it. You are a very special person and I think the world of you" she embraced me tightly her damp tear stained cheek pressing up against mine. She turned and gave me a gentle kiss on my cheek "Thank you so much Edward" she whispered into my ear.

I used my thumb to wipe away a tear from the beautiful face that was now in front of me. I gently reminded her Alice was waiting for her outside. I could think of no better reply as it would have been most improper of me to tell her I loved her. Instead I whispered the three words to the back of my door as she closed it behind her.

I spent the rest of my day in a state of persistent worry for Bella and hoping she could find some solace and comfort in the company of her companions. Around nine in the evening a very troubled and anxious looking Alice paid me a visit.

"Oh Edward, I am at my wits end. I do not know what to do with her. She has hardly uttered a word since her departure from your room this morning. You appear to be the only one she is willing to speak with. She is refusing to eat and hardly drinking." She paced up and down the length of my room like a caged tiger as she spoke "For hours now she has sat on the end of her bed clutching a photograph to her chest. She doesn't move or even register her surroundings; her gaze is blank as she stares solidly at nothing in particular out of her window. I have never seen anything like it before, she is oblivious to everything, I swear a bomb could be dropped next to her and she would not even so much as flinch"

Alice and I expressed our concerns over a few glasses of brandy, and deliberated on the best course of action to embark on late into the night. After Alice had left me it came as no shock to me that I was experiencing trouble sleeping; my mind was focussed on Bella.

Five days had passed since I had seen Nurse Swan, five days of perpetual darkness without my sun. Alice would stop by at least twice a day to let me know how she was, each visit her concern for Bella grew. Each time I heard Alice's distinct knock at my door my hopes grew that Bella had perhaps made some form of progress, no matter how small but each time bought nothing but disappointment and more worry. Alice described her as being catatonic; she was still declining to eat and speak and only moving if she was forced to. I was informed that she still chose to spend her time looking out of her window, crying, her tears only stopping when she slept. Nurse Webber had become so frightfully concerned she had journeyed to the home of Mr and Mrs Swan in hope that they could be of some assistance, however her efforts had been in vain. I wrote countless notes to Bella telling her of how much I wished to see her and how I hoped she was ok I even sent up some flowers to her room. Yet to my absolute dismay I received no reply.

The cold darkness and constant worry inflicted on me by my lack of sunshine led me once more to become rude and obnoxious with the Nursing staff. There were only two floors separating Bella and I, yet down here I felt so far away and so dreadfully useless. The frustration threatened to break me. My temper and mood swings were yet again getting the best of me. My foul temper even led me into have a meeting of cross words with Alice. Twice now I had attempted to climb the stairs and seek out Bella and try and bring her around from her state virtual unconsciousness and twice Alice had put an end to my well meant excursions. The first time she stopped me I offered little to no resistance reasoning that the long journey would cause my legs nothing but pain and set me back in my progress, the second time I was not so accepting of her interference. My temper raged as I berated her and told her that any amount of pain was bearable for Bella, reminding her that protecting Bella was how I received my injuries in the first place. Never before had I seen Alice so furious, for someone so small and slight she was more than a little ferocious and quite frankly rather scary. It was a side to my friend I sincerely hoped and prayed I would never have the displeasure of encountering again. Once Alice had ushered me away from the stairs and I was back in my room I apologised for my unreasonable outburst. Alice was quick to forgive me, understanding of my feelings and my need to see the girl I loved so deeply. Likewise I accepted her apology, conscious of the strain she was under seeing her friend so grief stricken and our tiff was soon forgotten about.

The continual anguish for Bella was likewise taking its toll on Alice too. Over recent days I had watched her usual excitable and playful demeanour ebb and fade away. All her humour and her joyful banter had dwindled to nothingness; the Alice I knew was slowly dissolving into the ether. She constantly appeared tired and drained, her glowing smile and bright eyes were nowhere to be seen. I could not blame her for these uncharacteristic changes, after all my feelings were similarly aligned with hers. Yet I did not have the added anguish of seeing the state of Bella, nonetheless I would have gladly taken on the extra worry. Alice was no longer immaculately presented, although she still appeared strikingly fashionable and smart to the untrained eye, I noticed that she would often forget to carry a bag matching her outfit or to wear jewellery. It was these subtle changes that caused me the most worry. I had not been fortunate enough to see Nurse Webber nor had I seen Nurse Hale. The fact I had not seen Nurse Hale was a rather favourable one. After she had so determinedly tried to remove Bella from my arms and my bed I did not think I was quite ready to hold my tongue while in her presence.

Five days without the warmth and light of my beloved girl was deeply affecting me. I began to stare through my French doors into the darkness of the cold December night. I watched the silhouettes of the branches belonging to the now bald trees dancing in the wind and I examined the bright stars sparkling in the dark sky. Looking further into the distance I could see the swaying movement of torches presumably held in the hands of nurses escorting yet another patient onto the wards of the hospital. A slight movement in the gardens closer to my room caught my attention; my eyes darted to a female form wandering aimlessly in the cold night. It swiftly came to my attention that Bella's absence was having more a more profound effect on me than I first concluded as now I was experiencing visions of her strolling around the gardens wearing nothing but a light dress surely meant for summer. She looked beautiful, her pale skin glowing in the moon light as a few thick strands of her hair that had escaped the confines of their pins moved freely in the winter breeze.

I rubbed my eyes and to my surprise the vision of Bella was still present only now her back was to me. I moved to the door and with a mix of emotions desperately called out her name. I was experiencing great joy at the thought of Bella's company but my worry for her health, being out in the cold with nothing for warmth, was outweighing the joy.

I called out again and she turned around to face me.

"Isabella, I have been so worried about you. Alice has assured me you were as well as could be, but I needed to see for myself. What on earth are you doing out here in the cold and the dark Bella? For heaven's sake girl come on inside in the warm"

She began to slowly walk towards me while wearing a peculiar expression of confusion, I held out my arms to her. In response to my gesture her expression swiftly changed to one of desperation and she ran the remaining distance between us and dived into my arms. I embraced her tightly, it felt undeniably good for her to be in my arms again. If it had not been for the fact that she was so terribly cold I would have never attempted to move from her hold, but she needed to move to somewhere that could offer her warmth.

"Bella, darling you are frightfully cold, where is your coat? Come on inside" I attempted to move my chair but she would not relinquish her hold around my neck, her actions pleased me greatly. I took hold of her waist and lifted her upon my lap and made the short journey into the warmth of my room. Her tight grip on me was yet to loosen,

"You appear pleased to see me Bella" for the first time in nearly a week I chuckled a little

"Up until this moment I have not realised how much I had missed you" her voice was strong and firm.

Much to my dismay she released her grip and moved from my lap on to my bed. I had refused to let the nurses change the sheets of my bed as they still retained Bella's delicious smell. If I am to be honest wrapping myself up tightly in my sheets had provided me a little comfort at night, although I could not be with her I could more easily imagine her close by.

I examined Bella as she sat on my bed, despite looking frail and mournful Bella had not lost her beauty, her spark had definitely dwindled a little but her beauty was still breathtaking.

We conversed a little about recently passed days and Bella expressed even more upset over the notion that she had caused unnecessary distress to her friends. I dismissed her claims as nonsense reminding her that we were meant to worry on her behalf. I offered her a drink and she readily accepted causing me to once again chuckle.

"Erm... Edward what is so amusing?" her voice still a little quite from her recent weeping.

"It was not so long ago that you were lay on my bed informing me that not even a single drop of alcohol was going to pass your lips again Miss Swan"

She smiled at my reasoning, the sight of her actually cracking a genuine smile warmed my heart.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures, so make mine a double" she jested causing me to burst into a fit of laughter. I had forgotten how wonderful it felt to laugh until that very moment. My sun had returned to me, she was not as bright as before but she was definitely here and I intended to bask in her warmth once more. "It is nice to have your company again" I said whilst handed her a large whiskey.

I was most definitely not prepared for the speed in which Bella drank her whiskey and by the looks of her face she was not prepared for the harshness of its taste. Nonetheless she did not decline a second helping, drinking it as swiftly as the first. I decided it was best to offer her a sherry next as it was nowhere near the strength of whiskey. I handed over the sherry with her promise that despite its numbing properties she would drink it at a more reasonable pace.

Bella tore at my heart strings as she all but begged for us to forget about recent events and that for one night she be treated as a normal person, someone who was not grieving and not surrounded by eggshells.

"If that is what you want then I shall do my best to comply. But I will still insist on you keeping your promise. I do not wish to acquire a reputation for enabling young ladies, such as yourself, to become intoxicated" I smiled warmly at her.

The drink was poured at a reasonable pace although it was rather obvious we were both feeling the effects of the alcohol. Laughter bounced around my room as we played a few games of gin rummy and cheat. I revelled in the fact that my sun was temporarily carefree and burning brightly at my side. We began to flick through a photograph album together, Nurse Swan moved her chair so it was touching mine enabling both of us to get a good view of the albums contents.

"Was this taken in Whitechapel Edward?" she asked pointing out a photograph.

I leaned in to examine the picture more closely, my face nearly touching Bella's. Indeed it was Whitechapel, it was a picture of Private Black and myself taken only a few hours before I had met her.

"Yes it is. It was taken just before a dance I attended shortly before journeying to France" I silently begged her to acknowledge that she remembered me as Nurse Webber had said. Appearing lost in thought she said nothing for a while just silently rubbed the end of her finger across the photograph of my face.

"Such a handsome man" she said dreamily

"You think?" my voice was a whisper as I asked the question.

She turned her face to look at me. Her cheeks flushed a vivid shade of red as she chewed on her lip deliberating an answer to give.

"Yes" was all she whispered.

Against my better judgments I moved my face a fraction of an inch closer to hers, I was able to taste the deliciousness of her warm breath as I thanked her for her compliment.

I could not resist the urge any longer nor did I think Bella wanted me to and I placed my lips softly on hers. She offered no resistance at all as she kissed me back, I could feel her breathing hitch as I swept my tongue across her bottom lip. My tongue swirled in her mouth savouring the most delectable taste I have ever had the pleasure to experience. Bella began to rake her hand through my hair causing me to experience unprecedented amounts of bliss, abruptly the pace of our kiss changed. No longer was it soft and gentle, now it was fast and desperate. Bella tugged on my hair as she stood forcefully kicked the chair from underneath her, my breathing had turned to panting as she settled herself sideways across my lap. She gave a slight moan as I gently took her bottom lip into my mouth. It was a wondrously satisfying and arousing noise, I am certain that had I been standing the noise would have given my knees good cause to buckle. My mouth trailed from hers and traced the outline of her collar bone, in my slightly drunken haze I decided now would be the best time to inform her of my feelings. To tell her I had not forgotten her for long and how dreadfully sorry I was to have left her, to tell her that she was the girl I tried to save on the battlefield and to more crucially to let her know that I loved her. A small part of my inner self was screaming at me not to go through with it, warning me that the whiskey had bestowed false confidence upon me, reminding me that she had just lost her fiancé. Nonetheless my mind was made up, now was as good as time as any.

"Isabella" I breathlessly whispered in her ear, inciting another seductive noise to spill from her mouth. Her lips found mine before I could continue, I made I promise to myself that as soon as her lips left mine I would confide in her. Suddenly Bella's body seized and became dreadfully stiff, she pulled away from me with a look of downright horror on her face. Before I chance had to catch my breath let alone the chance to ask her if she was alright she began to yell, louder than I would have thought possible for a girl of her size.

"How dare you take advantage of me like that Lance Corporal. I have only just lost my Jasper and you get me drunk so you can have your wicked way with me" she swiftly and powerfully slapped me across the face, my hand instinctively rising to cover my smarting cheek. "I thought more of you than that; I thought you were my friend. How very wrong I was! I have learnt the hard way that you are an uncaring and devious bastard"

My attention was momentarily averted from Bella as my door swung open revealing Alice. She spoke but I heard no words, my head to busy reeling from Bella's accusation. Maybe the freely flowing alcohol had caused me to act a little unsuitably but I was most definitely not the sort of man to take advantage of a woman especially one I cared so deeply about. It worked to Bella's advantage that she ran from my room because if she had stayed I would have subjected her to a torrent of abuse. After all she had kissed me back, was she not the one who pushed her chair from underneath her and positioned herself on top of me? I had taken advantage of no one and despite my love for Bella she needed to be told that, that kind of accusation can ruin a man's reputation.

I looked up to speak to Alice and quickly realised that she had followed Bella and exited the room. I hurried down the corridor in the direction of the stair case. I passed a worried looking Nurse Webber unsteadily holding a tray of equipment and was pleased she did nothing to halt my mission. No one would stop me ascending the stairs tonight.

My journey up the stairs was a laboriously painful one but my rage spurred me on. I sat on each step and used my ruined legs to push me up to the next one suffering intense discomfort each time I repeated the task. Although she had done nothing to stop me Nurse Webber had seemingly informed Nurse Hale of my whereabouts. I was nearing the top of the second set of stairs aware that Bella's room was somewhere along the long corridor to my right when Nurse Hale appeared.

"Lance Corporal" she yelled "What on earth do you think you are doing?"

"Quite frankly Nurse Hale it has nothing to do with you" I spat at her pronouncing her name as if it was the crudest of profanities "However since you have asked so kindly, I am here to share a few choice words with Nurse Swan"

"I do not think it is wise that you are anywhere near my friend tonight, in fact I do not think it wise that a vile man like you are near her for the foreseeable future" she hissed as I pushed myself up the last step finally reaching the corridor. She had most definitely not taken kindly to my obvious sarcasm.

I chose to ignore her comment instead concentrating on pushing myself backwards down the corridor on my right in a similar manner to the one I had used to climb the stairs.

"Did you not hear what I said Lance Corporal" she bellowed.

"Oh I heard you Nurse Hale. I have merely chosen not to listen to the words of a shallow and pretentious woman like you!" I glared at her with sheer contempt.

She gasped at my rudeness.

"I have had the misfortune to meet men like you before. The whole corridor heard Nurse Swan scream and from the look of your cheek you have received a little of what you deserve. You are nothing but a sexual predator! Using alcohol to pray on vulnerable young girls such as Nurse Swan" she violently waved her arms around in the air as she spoke.

"Oh I am most sorry, I forgot you were in there with us." I raised my eyebrows as the words left my mouth "Nurse Hale, self appointed judge, jury and executioner. You know nothing of what occurred in my room" my temper was in full swing now "It is most clear to me and more than likely obviously clear to everyone else that the only reason you have experienced sexual predators before is because you so willingly flaunt yourself at anyone who sets eyes upon you! Are you familiar with the old saying of you reap what you sow?"

My words had hit their target and Nurse Hale was visibly wounded, tears forming in her eyes, she turned to her right and stood protectively in front of a dark oak door. Making a woman cry was nothing to be proud of in fact it is abhorrent behaviour but on this occasion Nurse Hale deserved every word, secretly I was impressed with my ability to hold back a lot of the things I wished to say to her.

"I heard everything I needed to through your door Lance Corporal and I will do everything in my power to stop you getting to my friend" upset causing her voice to waver as she spoke.

Unknowingly she had let me know which door was the entrance to Bella's room. I reached beside her legs and banged upon the heavy wooden door.

"Nurse Hale, Lance Corporal. I am begging you to continue this argument no further" Nurse Webber had appeared in the corridor behind us. "Regardless of this evenings events Nurse Swan is so emotionally frail that I fear she will be unable to bear the further anguish caused by her friends fighting"

Nurse Webber had a valid point but despite this my ill temper advised me to ignore her plea.

"BELLA" I yelled. I received no answer. "Out of my way Nurse Hale, is there no one downstairs to flirt with?" I asked maliciously. Nurse Hale reluctantly stepped away from Bella's room as I continued to pound on the door. I pushed aside the acute agony my legs were now inflicting upon me, the pain was inconsequential when compared to my fury.

"Isabella Swan, I will not be leaving this corridor until you have used the little common decency you posses to speak with me. I suggest you open this door right now!"

It was Alice who eventually opened the door revealing a timid looking Bella sat on her bed.

"It has become apparent that you have less decency than I thought Nurse Swan, could you not even open the door yourself?"

"Edward Cullen!" Alice scolded.

"Alice with all due respect this has nothing to do with you. I think Nurse Hale may require your comforting skills out in the corridor. Failing that if you wish to be of assistance you could retrieve me the strongest of pain killers for my legs" my voice was sharp but I spoke as pleasantly as I could manage.

Alice looked a little disheartened as she left the room, sparing a last glance at a nervous looking Nurse Swan. I shuffled into Bella's room and despite being on the floor I managed to slam the door shut behind me. The noise it caused was nothing short of impressive, shaking the door frame and the wall surrounding it.

I glared at Nurse Swan as she sat on her bed, looking anywhere but my direction. I said nothing as I pushed my way along the floor and with great difficulty heaved myself into the chair adjacent to her bed.

"What is it you wish to speak with me about Lance Corporal" she asked timidly whilst still avoiding looking at me.

"I am surprised at the amount of ignorance you have shown to be able to ask that question young lady!" I pinched the bridge of my nose before continuing. I was trying my very hardest to keep the volume of my voice under control "I am here to speak with you regarding the most unfair accusation you made downstairs"

"I spoke nothing but the truth downstairs" she spat at me with a new found confidence.

"Do you have any idea as to what you are saying Nurse Swan, any idea at all? From where I am sitting you are speaking nothing but puerile nonsense" the volume of my voice was increasing yet again.

"I have an excellent idea of what I am saying thank you very much Lance Corporal. If you having trouble understanding me then I would be delighted to give you a simpler explanation" she turned to look directly at me as she spoke.

"The appertaining rage I have for you at this present moment in time is mind blowing Isabella" I had fully lost control of my emotions allowing my temper to roam freely. "But please enlighten me, explain your deranged ideas to me" I bellowed whilst throwing my one arm up into the air.

"You Edward Cullen are a bastard!" she had stood up now, the index finger of her right hand pointing at me just inches away from my face. I was close enough to see that it was shaking violently, presumably with rage "You were well aware of my recent situation and how badly I have been dealing with the death of my fiancé. You lure me to your room and supply me with alcohol. When you're certain that I am sufficiently under the influence of said alcohol, you kiss me! You kiss me against my will. Lucky for me I have full use of my legs and am able to use them to make an escape. If you were not bound to your chair I dread to think of the events that would have unfolded."

I said nothing as she began pacing the room, frequently running her hand through her free flowing hair.

"How could you Edward? I thought you were my friend, I thought you genuinely cared for me, I trusted you implicitly" her voice was quiet now wavering with emotion.

"That is preposterous, your words are nothing but poison!" I had to forcibly remove my hand from my face reasoning if I was to pinch the top of my nose any harder it would break. "You kissed me back. How have I taken advantage if you kissed me back?"

"I cannot deny that but had it not been for frightfully large amounts of alcohol you plied me with you would have received a slap a lot sooner! I am not stupid Lance Corporal, I am more than aware that you deviously used alcohol to impair my ability to think" she shouted at me, her voice full of contempt.

I slammed my hands down on the arms of the chair that I was seated upon.

"RUBBISH!" I shouted not caring if I was to wake the entire hospital and neighbouring villages "How could you be so simpleminded? Do you have any idea have I feel about you Isabella?"

"I thought I did, I thought you enjoyed my company, I thought you thought highly of me and valued our friendship. However it has become apparent that my assumptions were rather wrong!" she seethed without drawing breath, continuing to pace the length of her room "I thought that you..."

"I love you Isabella Swan" I yelled my voice full of anger. It was not the way I had envisioned telling her that I loved her but I had not foreseen her making such damning accusations about me either.

She stopped dead and stared incredulously at me. Try as I might I was unable to read the expression she wore.

"Lies, all lies!" she screamed, the impressive bellowing she had used downstairs putting in another appearance "You barely know me, you have spent a few months in a hospital where I work and think you love me? How superficial of you. I see your feelings for the girl you risked your life for have disappeared rather briskly"

"Your stupidity astounds me Nurse Swan" I yelled as once again I began to pinch the brow of my nose, I ran my hand through my hair and took a deep breath before I looked up at her. "I have loved you from the moment I met you in Whitechapel, you were the girl I was trying to save from a military bombardment, you were the girl I was so devastated to discover was engaged to another man. It was all you. Do you think I would endure the agony of climbing two flights of stairs to speak to you if my feelings were superficial? " although a lot quieter my voice was still laced with anger.

She held her hands to her face, covering her mouth and nose as she gasped. She collapsed backwards into a sitting position on her bed, her eyes wide with shock.

"Until I had met you I scoffed at the idea of love at first sight believing it to be nothing but a highly romanticised notion made popular by writers and poets. However since making your acquaintance last year I have become unable to deny its actuality." My voice was now quiet and brooding as I spoke to her. "You have bought nothing but joy and light into my otherwise miserable existence since I arrived here, you have irrevocably changed me making me a better man."

She moved along the bed so she was closer to me and placed her hand on my knee. I swiftly pushed it away from me before continuing to speak

"However love at first sight has done me no favours. Tonight you have shown your true colours, you are nothing more than a nasty and vicious liar." I spat violently at her "I do not care for your malicious accusations and lies and I am going to try my very best to no longer care for you"

I sat back and watched her crumple to the floor with the weight of my words.

"Oh Edward, I..."

"I do not wish to hear from you Nurse Swan, you can consider our friendship over." I said heartlessly my voice full of hatred for the girl slumped upon the floor.

Alice arrived in the room unannounced; in her right hand was a small pot containing pain killers for my legs.

"Edward I have your pain killers but I see I have arrived at a dreadfully inconvenient time, I shall come back later" she spared a worrying look at Bella on the floor before her gaze returned to me.

"Alice you are a sight for sore eyes. There will be no need for you to return later, I am ready to leave now"

**As always let me know what you think! No reviews = No more story LOL!**

**If by miracle my reviews hit 300 on this chapter then the 300th reviewer will get a special mention in the story xxx **

**Magenta xx**


	25. Chapter 25

_**Thanks to everyone who takes the time to read and review, I love reading your thoughts. **_

_**It has been bought to my attention that the overlapping of the POV's maybe isn't a good thing. I think it is sort of necessary so readers can hear how both characters are feeling and what they are thinking, but I could be wrong!**_

_**Thanks as always to my lovely beta, and if aren't reading consumed by fire then you should be!**_

_**So we have a new character in this chapter, I can't wait to read what you all think of him! **_

_**Edward is back in my cupboard so let's hear what Bella has to say for herself!**_

Bella 

Alice glanced at me, seeing the crumpled mess on the floor that I had become then looked incredulously at Edward with a look of utter confusion on her face.

"Edward?" she asked

"Will you just assist me to leave without asking questions please Alice?" he snapped

Alice hesitated looking at me once more. She pressed her lips tightly together obviously torn between comforting me and assisting Edward. Her gaze never left me as she called for Angela, clearly deciding the best plan of action was to remove Edward from the situation I had created. If asked I would not admit to it but part of me was pleased with her decision, Edward's angry disposition had left me feeling more than a little frightened. In my entire life I do not think I had encountered some with a temper such as the one that Edward was exhibiting now.

Angela wearily entered the room looking straight at me, her eyes wide with alarm. Rose entered too, walking apprehensively in Angela's wake. Rose averted her attention from the floor and looked at me, her eyes were red suggesting that she had been weeping. I selfishly did not stop to ponder why Rose would have shed tears choosing instead to wallow in my own self pity. She quickly made her way towards me and knelt down at my side and began to cradle me, pulling me tightly to her chest.

"Nurse Webber, would you be so kind as to help me assist the Lance Corporal to his room please" Alice's voice broke the uncomfortable silence but it did nothing to ease the rising levels of tension.

Angela silently nodded in agreement, her eyes reluctantly moved from mine as she helped to lift Edward from his seat.

"Edward... please" I screamed as Alice and Angela carried him to the door. He did not acknowledge my call or even attempt to look back at me, it was then that I began to wail. Edward had moments before confessed his _apparent_ love for me yet now he wasn't prepared to recognise my existence, the blow he had dealt was a crushing one. Rose's hold on me tightened as she felt my body tense. I was truly bored with the task of crying; after all it seemed to be all I had done recently. I took a deep breath and concentrated my efforts on holding back my tears. All the traces of the alcohol had evaporated from my body by this point, leaving me more sober than I had ever been.

How could he love me? He had never mentioned making my acquaintance before hand, on occasions he had been monstrously rude to me, up until this very evening his intentions towards me seemed nothing more than friendship. He didn't love me, I thought in answer to my own unspoken question. He could not possibly completely disregard the feelings of someone he loved and show so much anger towards them.

The whole unpleasant exchange of cross words began to replay in my head as I sat in absolute silence with Rose. My head spun as I contemplated the notion that he remembered me from over a year ago, that I was the girl that he had been devastated to leave behind and so bravely tried to save from certain death. I remembered back to our afternoon in the lounge together when he had described in emotional detail how it felt to lose the memory of her face, only for it to return to him later and how crushing it was to learn she was engaged. Only now did I learn that her face belonged to me. Guilt twisted my stomach into tight knots when I realised that I had spoken to him on more than one occasion about Jasper, unknowingly and cruelly flaunting my engagement directly in front of him.

Swiftly it dawned on me just how much Edward must have cared about me. Whenever I had mentioned Jasper he had been nothing but supportive of my relationship, he had never uttered a word against Jasper or my plans to become his wife. Edward's compassion seemingly knew no bounds, I was unsure that if the tables were turned I would be able to act as nobly as Edward had conducted himself. He had been nothing but a perfect gentleman. For the first time in my life I experienced an epiphany, just as if a light had been turned on things seemed dreadfully clearer now.

He really and truly did love me, why else would he offer me comfort when I needed it? Why else would he smile at me the way he did? If he did not love me why would he have spent an entire night holding me as I wept and five days worrying about me while I was gone? Why would he put himself through the intense pain of climbing the stairs? Edward loved me as I loved him.

Like a sharp kick to the gut it became apparent what I had just done to him. I had lied. I had accused him of something terrible because I could not face the guilt of my own actions; I was as much to blame as he was for the kiss. I had lied and carried on the most ridiculous of façades knowing for well that I was in the wrong. I had possibly broken his heart.

Why was I unable to admit it? Why did I scream hateful words at the man I loved?

I was afraid. I was so frightfully afraid of the intensity of my own feelings towards him, scared of admitting that I was betraying Jaspers memory and frightened that people would judge me as heartless and uncaring towards my all too recently disappeared fiancé. It became apparent that I would need to apologise and I would need to do it promptly before too much damage had been inflicted and our friendship was beyond repair.

"Bella please do not shed one more tear or spare one more thought for that ogre of a man. He is most undeserving of your attention and affections" Rose's soft voice broke through the quietness of my room.

My accusations were already tarnishing his name, Rose knew nothing of what went on in his room yet here she was calling him an ogre. What right did she have after all she had barely spoken to Edward in the weeks and months he had been calling Bicton his home.

"How dare you Rose" I escaped her embrace and stood up "What gives you the right to say such things?"

"I have every right to say these things. Look at what he has reduced you to, you are an emotional wreck" although angry her voice was full of concern for me. "Would you be defending him if Alice had not walked in and disturbed him in his tracks?"

"What are you insinuating Rose?" I was well aware of what she was implying but I needed to hear the words come from her lips. She stood up as she formulated her answer.

"He is a sexual fiend; he has spent his stay here reeling you in, he has been grooming you for his own twisted pleasure. If Alice had not disturbed you both I am more than certain he would have imposed himself upon you" the volume and pitch of her voice were steadily rising. She hesitated for the briefest of moments, her eyes wide with conviction "He is an attempted rapist and he deserves punishment"

Instantly my hand shot up making hard contact with her right cheek. Her cheek instantly began to redden as it filled with blood, leaving a clear imprint of my hand for everyone to see.

"How dare you! You know nothing about Edward or the friendship we share" I spat before fleeing my room.

Before tonight I had never raised my hand to anybody, with the exception of Emmett and that was not out of anger but sheer emotional distress. Now I had slapped two people in one night, two people that I care deeply for. What had I become?

I ran swiftly down the stairs desperate to see Edward. In my rush I stumbled a few times but managed to regain my balance before actually hitting the floor. I reached the bottom of the stairs in no time at all and embarked upon my way across the entrance hall. It was late meaning the chandelier that usually provided light for the hall was turned off. Leaving the hall dimly lit by the moonlight intruding through the windows and the light radiating from the corridors above the stairs, both casting eerie shadows into the empty space. My mind was elsewhere, preoccupied with watching the placement of my feet while travelling at speed leading me to neglect seeing Angela until I ran straight into her.

"Where is he?" I hurriedly asked not prepared to waste time on apologies, I would apologise later when I had rectified the mess I had caused.

"Shh, it is late. Surely you do not wish to anger the night nurse?" she whispered "He is in his room with Alice. I was making my way up to you after making feeble excuses to the night nurse as to why Lance Corporal Cullen was out of his room so late and why he was being lifted in to his wheelchair at the bottom of the stairs. What happened in your room Bella? Are you ok? I'm rather worried about you"

"I have done something horrifying and I need to put things right. I need to see Edward"

"I will do nothing to stop you, but I will advise you not to walk through the ward. I don't think Nurse Harris would take too kindly to it. Perhaps you should take a _quiet_ route through the garden."

I muttered a thank you to her before turning and heading for the entryway. I was just about to push open the heavy wooden door when Angela spoke.

"Promise me you will come and see me later, when you have finished down here?" she pleaded her eyes full of compassion.

I nodded before heading out into the cold night for a second time this evening. In my rush to reach Edward's room I barely even noticed the cold of the dark night. I could see the warm golden light pouring from his doors in to the garden. I stood in the shadows out of sight for a moment and silently watched the scene before me unfold.

Edward was sat in an arm chair, possibly the one I had been seated in earlier this evening. The chair had been moved and positioned at the side of his bed. In front of him was his table, in his hand a pen that he was using to furiously scribble down something on a piece of paper. I was unable to see his face as he concentrated on his writing. On the bed next to him sat a very worried looking Alice, she was clutching what appeared to be a small black book to her chest. She placed the book in the apron pocket of her uniform before gently leaning towards Edward. She began to shake her head as she removed the piece of paper from him, casting it aside on to the bed. Edward ran his hand through his bronzed hair then slowly lifted his head to look at Alice. Even from a distance I could see he was crying, the sight broke my heart causing me a tremendous amount of pain. I was well aware I was more than deserving of this excruciating torture as I was the one who had single-handedly caused Edward's upset. Concealed in the darkness I watched as Alice moved the table and embraced him. She moved her hand in rhythmic circular motions on his back to pacify him. I could clearly see his body vibrate violently with each sob that left his chest.

I began a slow and tentative journey to his door, unsure of what I was going to say to him. I experienced even more uncertainty surrounding the issue of whether he would even allow me to enter his room. Reasoning I had nothing to lose I gently tapped the glass of the door. Edward did not move his head, continuing to cry into Alice's chest. Alice however looked at me with affection and smiled sadly. She held up the finger of the hand that had been rubbing Edward's back as an indication that I should wait a moment. I watched her mouth move as she began to speak to Edward; I took a step sideways away from the door and leant my back against the cold stone wall.

A few painfully long moments had passed when I heard the door creak quietly and slowly open, a solemn looking Alice walked out into the dark night.

She held me tightly for a while, when the embrace had ended she quietly began to speak.

"Edward told me what occurred both in his room and yours. He confided in me that you are the girl he lost. Are you ok?"

"I need to speak to him Alice, I so desperately need to put this right" I choked out.

"I know" she reassured stroking my arm as she spoke "He has agreed to speak with you, he just needs a few moments"

"How is he?" I asked urgently.

"Honestly?"

I nodded.

"He is terrible, after his anger eventually subsided he became most upset." she sighed "He is broken Bella, it is the saddest thing I have ever set eyes on. He loves you so very much"

My lips began to quiver.

"This is all my fault, why am I so damned senseless?" I tilted my head backwards banging it on the wall, I bit my lip trying my hardest to prevent my pent up emotion from escaping. Whilst all the time folding my arms across my chest, hoping somehow that this action would stop my body from falling apart at the seams and unravelling on the chilly floor beneath me.

"Bella, do you love him?"

"Yes" I whispered my voice barely audible

"Then you can put this right, I have every faith in you. Remember that he is so very fragile Bella; please do not raise your voice at him or use angry words of disparagement. I will be awaiting you return in Angela's room" she kissed my forehead before gracefully and silently making her way into the darkness.

I inhaled deeply in some form of futile preparation for what was about to happen. I knocked on the glass of the door once more. Edward said nothing so I took the liberty of inviting myself in. He was sat stiffly in the arm chair apparently bracing himself for more of my stern words, not to mention my lies.

"Hello Edward" I said timidly. With my head hung low I made my way to his bed "Would you mind awfully if I took I seat?"

His eyes refused to meet mine as swept out his arm that I took as a gesture to take a seat. As I sat I took in his sorry appearance, his hair was a dreadful mess where I presumed he had been raking his hand through it. His beautiful green eyes were red and swollen from crying and despite his efforts to disguise it I could still see the tear stained tracks present on his face.

"What is it that you want Nurse Swan" his voice was icy cold.

"I'm here to apologise Edward"

There was a long awkward silence building between us; I stared at him as his eyes were firmly fixed on the floor.

"You do not seem to be making a very good attempt at it" he said spitefully, his temper flaring once again.

"Please Edward; I am not here to argue. I'm so terribly sorry, more regretful that you could ever imagine. I was wrong, frightfully wrong to accuse you of taking advantage of me. I must take responsibility for my actions, I am equally to blame. Please forgive me I acted foolishly. I care for you deeply and I cannot bare the prospect of a life without you"

Still having yet to look at me he turned his head in the opposite direction from me, leaving me feeling that it would no doubt be more productive to be speaking to a brick wall. Nonetheless I continued with my apology.

"I should never have said the things that I did, if I could take them back I most definitely would. I have argued terribly with Rose to defend your reputation and I fear she will never speak to me again." The pace of my speech began to dramatically increase as panic began to set in "The fact that I have upset you is twisting up my insides with guilt; I had no idea that you felt as you do. I'm trying my very hardest to put this right, I'm begging for your forgiveness Edward. I will get down on my knees if that is what you would like, I cannot lose you. Please believe me when I say it frightens me too much to even contemplate the idea of not having you near me." I paused to take a deep breath

"Edward please look at me" I pleaded.

He slowly turned his head, tears running freely down his cheeks

"Why? So you can see me cry and revel in the sight of it" he choked out between sobs

"No!" I exclaimed "I have been so very wrong tonight Edward but I would not and cannot revel in the sight of your tears, it breaks my heart to see you like this" I leaned forward fully intent on embracing him.

"Do not touch me Nurse Swan" he spat while holding out his hands defensively "I confessed everything to you tonight, I laid my heart and soul out for you to see and you scoffed at my declaration. Do you have any idea how much that hurts? I have spent over a year of my life waiting for you, I have said nothing up until now respecting your engagement despite the fact it killed me to learn you were with another and you accuse me of taking advantage of you. I cannot expect you to feel the same way about me but what I do expect is some form common decency"

"I'm so sorry Edward, tell me what I can do to make this right" I failed at my attempt to appear composed and tears began to fall from my eyes. "I should have told you I knew who you were. I should have told you that try as I might not a day went passed that I did not think of you. I put my heart and soul into a relationship with Jasper just to help me forget about you. It worked while I was with him but as soon as I was alone my mind drifted to thoughts of you. Jasper proposed to me the day before I met you again, I was so blissfully happy." I sniffed back the tears "The morning I had introduced myself to you and you showed no hint of recognition as to who I was, I was so dreadfully hurt. I spent my day crying on Nurse Webber's shoulder. Seeing you so relaxed and happy with Nurse Brandon made me sick to the core with uncontrollable jealousy. I was so full of joy when we started to build a friendship, so glad to have you at my side, so very proud of the progress you were making. I defended you when others bought your character into disrepute. My jealousy was once again unleashed when you spoke of the girl you loved and wanted to be with, but I reasoned that as long as you were happy then I could be happy for you. You were my rock when Emmett came to see me going above and beyond the call of duty to protect and comfort me. You cannot take this away from me now Edward, you cannot leave me alone. Please forget about tonight, please"

"Why have you accused me of taking advantage of you? Answer me that" he said still crying.

My whole body ached to comfort him to hold him as he had held me when I learnt of Jasper's probable demise, but he would not let me touch him.

"I was confused, so utterly confused. My feelings have been eating away at me for so many weeks now. I wanted to somehow protect the memory of my Jasper. In my mind kissing you was the ultimate in betrayals, but I was wrong to accuse you of that, I can see that now. I will try my upmost to make sure everyone in this hospital, in this town even, knows that I have lied and that I am sorry for it"

As I shifted my position on the bed I became aware of the piece of paper lying next to me. I picked it up and began to read the perfectly formed script of Edward's hand writing. I was horrified to learn that it was a letter to the hospital board requesting a transfer to another hospital nearer to London.

"Edward?" I questioned

He looked at me with a sorry expression on his face.

"It is my letter requesting I be moved to another hospital"

"But why do you want to move?"

"I am unable to stay here Nurse Swan, as I said upstairs I wish to forget the fact that I care for you and I cannot do that if I am to stay here"

"Please, Edward no!" I sank down to my knees before him "Please don't leave" I begged pathetically out of sheer desperation as he allowed me to take his hand in mine, squeezing it as hard as I could.

"What reason do I have to stay?" he asked his voice barely loud enough for me to hear.

I was acutely aware of what he wanted to hear and that if I said these words he would more than likely offer me his forgiveness and stay.

"I need you Edward" I sobbed as my chest began to tighten with the pain of losing him for good.

"Why do you need me?" he implored he sounded so very desperate

"Because I... I..." I knew I needed to tell Edward that I loved him and I knew more than anything that he desperately needed to hear me say it but I could not bring myself to say the words. Each time I opened my mouth nothing but a ghastly choking sound was made. Jasper had been gone less than a week it would be unbelievably inappropriate and frightfully disrespectful of his memory to speak those three words.

"Because you what? Why Bella? Why do you need me?" his voice was frantic as he spoke, tears were no longer falling and his eyes were held open wide awaiting my response. It had not gone unnoticed that in his sheer desperation for my affections, he had dropped the formalities and addressed me as Bella.

"Because... because you are my friend and I... care about you"

He pulled back his hands from mine, his voice sounded crushed as he politely asked me to leave informing he needed some alone time.

"Please forgive me" I sobbed as I got up to leave. I had my hand on the door handle ready to walk out into the gardens when he croakily called my name. I swiftly turned around to face him, his eyes were filled with tears his bottom lip quivered as he fought to stay in control. He said nothing as I made my way over to him, his eyes silently begging for me to speak three words. I could no longer fight the urge to hold him to offer him some comfort, even if it was not what he wanted. I looked directly at him through my watery vision before I bent down and wrapped my arms around his strong shoulders. He wasted no time in putting his arms around my waist and pulling me on to his lap. He rested his head against my shoulder and wept violently against my chest.

"I'm so sorry Edward" I whispered while planting a few soft kisses in his hair "So sorry"

We stayed like this for a while, holding each other tightly as he wept quietly neither one of us wanting to let go. It was Edward who broke the silence

"I love you Isabella Swan and will continue to do so until the end of my existence" he choked back a sob.

He was giving me one last chance to say the words he so desperately needed to hear, and again I let him down, I was nothing but a disappointment to him.

I held his face between my hands as I kissed his forehead gently

"I know Edward." I sighed "I'm sorry, I should not have stayed I should have left when you asked me to. It is dreadfully cruel of me to be here when I cannot say what you need to hear" I wiped a tear from his face and I made my way to the door.

"Why can you not say it?"

"Because I belong to Jasper" my voice was full of sorrow "I promised myself to him and there is still a chance that he may return" I mouthed the words I'm sorry once more before exiting into the cold night.

I was able to recall nothing of my journey up the stairs; nonetheless as I was stood outside Angela's room I reasoned that I must have climbed them. Wanting nothing more than to be alone in my room yet remembering my promise to my friends I knocked the door and invited myself in. Two pairs of eyes met mine.

"You wished to see me when I had finished with Edward?" my voice was feeble reflecting my exhaustion.

I sat cross-legged on the bed in-between Alice and Angela and explained the events of the evening in their entirety. I was immensely proud of myself for not letting my emotion get the best of me, managing to recount the whole story with no tears.

"He loves you?" Angela asked inquisitively.

"It would seem that way, yes" was the only reply I could muster.

Alice reached across and took my hand.

"Forgive me when I say this but there is absolutely no doubt about it, it is most obvious that he worships you Bella. He confided in me a while ago about the girl he loved and lost and more recently he informed me that girl was you. Even before this revelation I knew he loved you, his eyes would light up at the mention of your name. I could see it when he looked at you and by the way he spoke of you with such fondness. He has changed greatly over recent months. He was so very depressed when he first came here; you are the reason for his existence and I know that you..."

"You knew" I interrupted her "Why did you not tell me?"

"He is my friend and I had given him my word that I would not to mention it to anyone. You are my friend too Bella and I assumed that you would work it out for yourself eventually"

"Did you manage to leave on good terms with him?" Angela asked.

I shook my head.

"Why on earth not?"

"He wanted me to tell him that I loved him and I could not do it. Not because I do not feel that way but because I am Jasper's. I promised myself to him. If Jasper is to come back then I love him too much to break his heart, if he is dead then I owe his memory more than this"

"It pains me to say this, but Jasper has been missing for a while. I think it is safe to assume that the worst has happened" Angela's voice was very solemn and I nodded in agreement with her statement. "If it were Ben and I in this situation, I am more than certain that Ben would want me to be happy, no matter what it cost. I think Jasper would feel the same. I am not being heartless or cold, I loved Jasper as I do you Bella, and I will mourn for him as will you. I am speaking the truth"

It was dreadfully late I could not bear to speak of this any longer, I needed time alone to contemplate the situation. I stood up from the bed.

"Where is Rose? I need to apologise"

"Rose has retired to her room. Since you departed for downstairs she has realised that she was very much in the wrong to say what she did." Angela replied "I'm getting the distinct impression her overreaction is to do with her past life with Royce. I think although I cannot be sure that there is something she is neglecting to tell us"

"I shall speak with her in the morning then. Now I really must get some rest" my voice lacked the emotion that should have been present. It was not that I did not care for Rose and her terrible life with Royce, I had come to regard her as a good and supportive friend and felt terrible that she had suffered so much misery at the hands of a man. However at this time I needed to be selfish, I needed to attempt to place my life in some sort of order and I needed to do it alone

"I was also intending on retiring to my room" Alice said "If it is all the same to you Bella, I will walk the short distance with you"

I nodded in agreement.

We walked to my door way in silence, Alice turned to wish me a good night.

"He is going to leave Alice. All because I cannot bring myself to say what he needs to hear. Jasper has left me and now Edward is going to do the same." My voice wavered as I spoke.

"I will do my upmost to stop that from happening Bella. He is dreadfully upset and he is not fully aware of what he is saying. I have promised him that I will go to him in the morning, I fully intend to address this matter with him then" she smiled sadly "For now Edward wished for you to have this"

She reached into her apron pocket and handed me the black book I had seen her holding in Edward's room.

"What is it?"

"I could not say for certain as it was not intended for me so I have not looked at it, but I am imagining that it is a dairy or a journal of sorts"

"I cannot read his diary, these are his private thoughts"

"Bella, I promised I would give it to you and I have done just that. However what you chose to do with it is up to you. Goodnight Bella"

And with that she left me. I gently threw the book down upon the bed deciding it was best to first get into my bed clothes before even considering the possibility of reading it. Once ready for bed I picked up the black book again and ran my fingers across the cover tracing every crease in the leather. I was dreadfully unsure at whether I should read it or not, after all if it was a diary then the words it contained were private and not meant for prying eyes. After a good few moments inwardly debating with myself I concluded that Edward had given it to Alice for me to read. Surmising it was a good place to start, I positioned the spine of the book in the palm of my hand, intent on reading the page it opened upon. As I watched it fall open, I was once again confronted with the elegant and majestic script of Edward's hand. I quickly realised that it was his journal and instantly felt a spike of guilt, but my curiosity had won me over and I began to read.

There were sporadic entries dated July of last year describing his life in the army and details about his new friends. These entries held little interest to me and I began to wonder why Edward has wished for me to read it. I flicked through the book until found an entry dated November 1939, the fact I thought I had seen my name prompting me to stop and read.

Through the eyes of Edward I relived our first encounter, his joy was apparent and I could not help but smile as I read on.

"**My heart skipped a beat when she asked if she would see me around and then I could feel it start to heart ache as I told her I was leaving for France. I leant over and placed a kiss on her soft cheek, inhaling her scent once more. I fought the urge to scoop her into my arms and stop her leaving as she sadly smiled and got into the cab. That was the last I saw of Bella but it is most certainly not the last time I will think of her."**

I began to chew my bottom lip as I studied these last few lines, my stomach filling with a peculiar feeling not all that dissimilar from the feeling of butterflies.

After a few passages where he had described the dreams he was experiencing nothing more was written until his arrival at Bicton, even then the passages were few and far between. I read of his sheer anguish and frustration of not being able to remember his girl's face and how he was full of joy to have found true friendship with Alice.

I continued on as he detailed his conflicted feelings regarding a nurse, he never mentioned her name choosing to refer to her as nurse instead. He had strong feelings of fondness towards this nurse, but ultimately she made him angry and guilty for betraying his affections for his girl, who he could no longer deny that he was in love with. His brief sentences were filled with nothing but words of torture and anguish.

I gasped and covered my mouth as I read about the day he realised that his girl and the nurse were on and the same, they were both me. From that moment on the distress that had been so obvious in his writings had disappeared, his words becoming jolly and light. I cried tears of joy as I continued to read about his feelings for me, how he would close his eyes at night and hope to dream of me, how I was his first and last thought of the day, how I had become his sun providing his otherwise cold and dark life with warmth and light.

In some passages he detailed our time spent together in others how he missed me when we were apart. I was positively overwhelmed by emotion at reading his words. On one hand I felt nothing but elation because he loved me so very deeply, yet on the other hand tremendous sadness that we could not be together.

I turned the page to find today's date, 19th December neatly written at the top of the page followed by a message from him,

**Isabella,**

**As I look out upon the dark world I see many stars, but in my eyes there is no star that shines as brightly as you.**

**A hundred hearts would be too few,****  
****To carry all my love for you.**

**Edward**

His words were nothing short of beautiful, they filled me with a most intense feeling of warmth and a sense of unmitigated happiness. I read his note once more, pushing away all my feelings of woe and unease, before clutching the book firmly to my chest. Thoroughly fatigued I drifted off to sleep as his words swirled gently around my head.

I was distraught to learn that I had slept much longer than I had intended and I would have to rearrange my schedule for the day. I was unsure as to whether I should pay Edward a visit, I eagerly wanted to see him but whether he would want to see me was an entirely different matter. I debated the issue with myself whilst getting ready for the day, I pondered the idea that if I was to visit him first thing he would be under the impression that I had changed my mind from last night. It would be terrible of me to insinuate this so I chose to pay Rose a visit first.

I spoke with Rose for a little over half an hour, both making our apologies for the outrageous manner in which we had conducted ourselves.

"It's just that...well Royce was... there are thing I have not told you about my ex-fiancé and I acted instinctively to protect you Bella." Rose began to fidget and was seemingly uncomfortable discussing the matter.

"It's ok Rose, you don't have to tell me anything. I respect that it is a difficult subject for you" I smiled before running my fingers over the faint imprint of my hand that I had left on her cheek. I helped her to cover it with a little make-up before journeying downstairs.

I had decided that I would return to my duties again tomorrow morning as moping around my room had not been in the least bit beneficial for me. With only five days left until Christmas today was my only chance to purchase some presents for the people I cherished. I stood at the bottom of the stairs torn between which direction to travel in. Straight ahead of me was the front door and laid ahead of that was the path into Shrewsbury, to my left was the door that would lead me to Edward.

I chose to head left, still genuinely concerned for his welfare it seemed like the right thing to do. I was thankful that the corridor was empty and I could make my way undisturbed to his room.

I was pleasantly flabbergasted to be greeted by Carlisle, Edward has not mentioned his plans to visit. He pulled me into a warm embrace and wished me a Merry Christmas. It was only when he stood back from me I was able to take in his full appearance. The usually smart Carlisle was dressed in a red, rather plush Santa Claus suit. To no avail I tried to stifle a laugh as he replaced his white beard and began to shout "HO HO HO" while rubbing his stomach.

"You look Wonderful" I beamed at him

Esme, however did not seem as pleased to see me. She was seated directly in front of me looking stunning dressed as Mrs Claus. She wore a lavish red velvet sweetheart dress, the edges trimmed with white fur. Her hair was in plaits either side of her face and a little red Santa hat decorated her head.

"Happy Christmas Nurse Swan" her voice was gentle but her smile was forced.

I returned her greeting before taking in the appearance of Edward's room, or grotto as some would prefer to call it. As the wireless played Christmas song and carols I noticed substantial amounts of red and green tinsel now adorned the walls, multicoloured paper chains hung in bows from the ceiling. Upon the windowsill sat two fully decorated miniature Christmas trees and candy canes hung from the shelves of the bookcase underneath the window. An enormous wreath of holly hung from the French doors. The smell of fresh pine filled the room reminding me just how much I enjoyed the festive period. It was a wonderful sight reminding me of my visits to Santa with my mother and father when I was just a little girl, I smiled as I reminisced.

It suddenly became apparent that Edward was missing from the happy scene. I was then that I noticed him. Next to Esme buried underneath the largest display of presents I have ever laid eyes upon was Edward. Over the sheer amount of presents placed upon him only his eyes were visible as a chuckling Carlisle set about decorating Edward's hair with left over tinsel. Edward looked at me but said nothing. On the table next to him I noticed an empty bottle of sherry and four glasses. Four glasses yet only three people, perhaps Alice had only just left after sharing a sherry with them.

"Good morning Lance Corporal, how are..." I was interrupted by a large man carrying yet more presents struggling to make his way into the room through the French doors that Carlisle was kindling holding open.

The man was of monumental height if I had to guess I would say that he would easily tower above Emmett, and had beautiful tanned skin. He was wearing a very smart khaki army uniform and sporting short ebony hair.

"Nurse Swan, it gives me great pleasure to introduce you to Private Black. He is a good friend of Edward's and has been fortunately blessed with a little leave over Christmas." I was still struggling to take in Carlisle's comical appearance as he spoke to me. "Jacob this is the lovely Nurse Swan" my cheeks began to blush with embarrassment.

With a chuckle Private Black placed the presents he was carrying on top of the vast pile that Edward was underneath and held out his hand to me, while keeping his other hand hidden behind his back.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Private Black" I said has his large hand engulfed mine.

"Nonsense girl, the pleasure is all mine" he smiled, in possession of an award winning smile and a strong American accent. "Please, call me Jake" I was so lost in the depths of his glorious mahogany eyes and astoundingly good looks that I failed to hear the following words he said to me.

"Nurse Swan? Feel free to answer my question at any time" he jested.

Having only just met him I was desperate not to offend him with my apparent ignorance and in true Isabella Swan fashion without first engaging my brain I answered his unheard question.

"Is the answer 15?" I instantly cringed at my stupidity "I'm sorry Private, umm Jake. I seemed to have... well yes." I shook my head to clear my muddled thoughts "What was it that you wanted again?"

Jake and Carlisle began to laugh obviously a little merry from the sherry. Jake's laugh was such a deep and booming noise it completely drowned out the noise of Carlisle. In my periphery I could see that Esme had also begun to laugh. Edward did not appear to be laughing but from the delicate creases that had appeared at the corners of his eyes I guessed that he was smiling.

"I asked if you would be so kind as to share a Christmas kiss with me beneath the mistletoe"

"It would be my pleasure but I'm afraid I will have to turn you down as I see no mistletoe" I smiled, warmed by his friendliness.

Jake quickly pulled out the hand he had kept hidden back revealing a large bunch of mistletoe. Tall enough to reach the ceiling he hung the bunch above us. He planted a soft kiss on each of my cheeks then on my lips and wished me a Happy Christmas; I smiled and returned his well wishes.

I had turned towards Edward with the intention of asking him how he was feeling again when Jake interrupted me.

"Eddie, Eddie" he called "Turn up the wireless, Fats Waller is playing"

With great difficulty Edward did as he was instructed, the room was now filled with the raucous sounds of Jingle Bells by Fats Waller.

Jake stepped sideways so he was stood next to me once more.

"Do you like swing music Nurse Swan?" his sly smile causing me to suffer a little bewilderment.

"Yes, I consider it to be my favourite music genre"

Without warning Jake took a firm hold of my hand and began to swing me and spin me in circles as he moved to the music.

"You do realise it is polite to ask a lady to dance first do you not?" I called over the music

"Indeed it is" he jested as he span me around one more

"It is only fair that I warn you I am a terrible dancer"

"You are not doing too badly Miss Swan" he chuckled.

Carlisle held out his hand to Esme and she readily accepted it and they began to dance perfectly next to Jake and I. They were a sight to behold, moving gracefully and with expert elegance to the music. Despite my lack of dancing skills and distinct lack of coordination I was thoroughly enjoying myself. I laughed and squealed excitedly as I moved, that is until I saw Edward, sat alone. As the four of us laughed and danced Edward watched, his sad eyes barely even bothering to look over the mountain of presents he was sat underneath If the events of last night had not occurred the sight would have been a frightfully humorous one, but as it was all I felt was guilt which turned to relief as soon as the song had ended.

"Thank you Jake that was most pleasurable" Jake smiled and winked at my remark and I felt myself blush "I have come at inappropriate time so I shall make my exit now. I shall visit you later Lance Corporal, but if this is inconvenient with you I am returning to work in the morning so I shall no doubt see you then." I smiled but he did not respond. I turned to face his visitors "Jake it has been lovely to meet you. Mr and Mrs Cullen once again it has been a pleasure to see you. If I do not see you before I wish you all a very Merry Christmas"

"We are not leaving until late on Christmas Eve so I am certain we will meet again, and please it is Carlisle and Esme not Mr and Mrs" Carlisle said warmly as I left the room.

I began to make my way down the corridor with the sound of heeled shoes tapping on the floor behind me. I presumed the sound was one of the nurses making her way down the corridor. I turned when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Could I speak to you in private please Nurse Swan?" Esme asked her voice firm "It is with regards to my son"

**So what did you all think of Jake?**

**As usual let me know what you think and I'll consider letting Edward out of my cupboard again!**

**Magenta xx**


	26. Chapter 26

_**Thanks to everyone who takes the time to read and review, I love reading your thoughts.**_

_**Well done to Miss Sweetcheeks, who gave me my 300**__**th**__** review, as you already know you will be featured in chapter 30.**_

_**A special thanks to my awesome beta, she puts up will a hell of a lot of emails from me!**_

_**I own nothing of twilight except Lance Corporal Cullen and in Alice's words Private Devilishly Handsome Whitlock.**_

_**It's time to let Edward out of the cupboard to play. **_

Edward 

As I was unsteadily carried out of the room, Bella's shrill scream called my name, begging me to stay. It was incredibly hard to ignore her plea but I was inconceivably frightened the vast amounts of anger and the downright beastliness brewing inside of me. She was accusing me of crimes most heinous and I could not help myself but retaliate with harsh words, I needed some space. She had spurned my affections. I had expected that much, what I had not foreseen her shocking cruelty in rejecting my declaration of love. I was in dire need of a stiff drink.

The journey down the stairs was an uncomfortable and difficult one. Nurse Webber and Alice tried their very hardest not to cause me any discomfort but their efforts were wasted. My legs were already aching; the sheer torture from the strain of my previous journey up the stairs was made even more intolerable by Bella scoffing at my confession. Once in my wheelchair the journey became a lot smoother. I had been seated for no more than I few seconds when Nurse Harris, the formidable night nurse made an appearance.

"Ladies, what is the meaning of this?" she bellowed "I will await you in the nurse's station" she flounced back through the door that she had just come through.

"Angela, could you please speak to Nurse Harris. I care not for what you say to her but please do not allow her to know that the Lance Corporal has been upstairs"

Angela nodded before scampering off to the nurse's station. I reminded myself that I would need to thank Nurse Webber for her kindness. I spared no affection for Nurse Harris and her abrupt manner I was thankful that she had not addressed me this evening, as it would have led to another war of words and quite frankly one bout of conflict was enough for me this evening.

Once in my room Alice handed me the pain medication, I quickly swallowed them eagerly anticipating their effect. I made my way to the cupboard and retrieved two glasses and the bottle of Laphroaig. I removed the cork from the bottle before handing Alice an empty glass.

"Not for me tonight thank you Edward" it was the first thing she had said to me since we had departed from Bella's room.

"As you wish" anger still tainted my voice.

My temper was still in full effect causing my hand to shake at such a rate that I could not pour the whiskey. Alice kindly took the bottle from my hand and poured me a large drink. I sank it in one mouthful, unsteadily holding out the glass for another.

"Edward if it's all the same to you I would like to make you a little more comfortable before you drink yourself into oblivion" her voice was nothing but pleasant

"Suit yourself" I growled slamming the glass down on the table.

"Lance Corporal, I can respect and sympathise with your anger however your grief is not with me" she firmly scolded "I would appreciate it you would not treat me as if I am a pariah, after all I have chosen to be here with you instead of with Bella who is in obvious need of my support"

"Do not even mention her name" I bellowed "She is nothing but an offensive, horrid, lying appalling excuse for a human being" if I had not wanted another drink so badly I would have thrown the whiskey bottle at the wall.

"I have come to your room to offer you support leaving my friend up..."

"Friend" I scoffed "She appears to know nothing regarding the meaning of friendship"

"Edward I will not and do not have to tolerate this kind of behaviour. I will wish you a good night now"

"I'm sorry" I called as she made her way to the door. She turned to look at me, flashing me and angry scowl. "I'm just so angry with this whole situation" my voice was calmer now.

"Please let me help you out of your wheelchair. I am well aware that under normal circumstances you are capable of doing this without my assistance Edward. However tonight you have put your legs under great strain and I wish to help you"

As I drank the neat whiskey straight from the bottle Alice began moving an arm chair closer to the bed, doing her best to move it silently without drawing any unnecessary attention to my room. She helped me to sit in the chair and moved my table directly in front of me. She poured me another large whiskey, putting the bottle out of my reach and eventually removing her shoes and taking her own seat on the bed.

"I am here as a friend Edward to offer my support. I will not be spoken to like that again" her voice was stern and cold as she lashed at me with the tongue "I will also not let you drink yourself to death which is why I have removed the bottle from your grasp. Would you like to share with me what has occurred tonight?"

I nodded and I took a deep breath and concentrated very hard on controlling my temper. As usual Alice was right, I had no issue with her and it was dreadfully unfair of me to subject her to my foul mood.

I explained how I had kissed Bella, freely admitting I had instigated it and told her how Bella had kissed me back. I continued on with the story repeating the exchange of words as accurately as I could remember them. She was most considerate and listened intently without passing comment.

"I confessed my love for her Alice, I confessed it all and _she_, after all that she has said tonight, had the audacity to call me a liar" Alice tenderly placed her hand on mine as I began to lose the battle with my emotions. "I have laid out my soul in front of her and she has scoffed at it. Telling her is honestly one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and she has gone and made a mockery of my feelings" I choked as tears forced their way from my eyes. "Yet again I am crying in front of you Alice, I am sorry"

"It is nothing to be sorry for, we all have to cry at some point" she smiled sadly

"I have never imagined that pain could feel like this Alice, never. I feel as if she has torn my heart to shreds." I was sobbing uncontrollably now "The pain is unbearable, never before have I experienced anything of this intensity. I love her so much, so much it hurts. I cannot survive her rejection" Alice embraced me tightly and I rested my head against her shoulder and began to break down "How am I ever going to survive this"

Alice began to attempt to soothe me by cradling the back of my head, her efforts were in vain. At this point in time I debated whether even strong sedation would ease my anguish.

"Oh Edward, she is in a very difficult and dark place at the present time. Grief affects us all in different ways; you need to give her some time to consider what has been said"

I reluctantly freed myself from her friendly embrace and she sat back on the bed

"I cannot stay here, I cannot give her time" I reached across to the bookcase and retrieved a pen, a note pad and my journal.

"I don't understand, what do you mean?" Alice quizzed as I began scrawling a note in my journal "Please do not do anything rash Edward, you are in no frame of mind to be making decisions"

"I am only doing what needs to be done" I handed her my journal "You are my friend Alice and I ask of you one thing, please give this to Bella. I want her to have it"

"Edward, you are frightening me. What are you planning on doing" her voice was shaking with worry as I frantically wrote on my note pad.

"I intend on leaving, I am writing a letter asking for a transfer to a hospital closer to London, closer to my family, closer to people that care about me. I cannot bare to stay here a minute longer than I have to"

"But Edward, I care about you, I care about you a lot. Why else would I been here with you?"

I looked up from my letter to speak to her.

"You are the most kind, sweetest and loyal person I have ever met Alice. You have bought me nothing but happiness and joy and I truly treasure you." I smiled genuinely as I spoke nothing but the truth to her "Believe me when I say I would like nothing more for you to accompany me to my new home, I'm sure my father would not think twice about employing you as my private nurse"

I began to write again.

"Thank you for your words of kindness Edward. I am very flattered by your offer, but I cannot move any further away from my home. My grandmother is in Birmingham not London, what if she was to need me? What if I wish to visit Demetri? I would be so very far away from him and as silly as it may sound I'm not sure if I am ready to put that sort of distance between us"

"Then I will respect your decision to stay" I said solemnly

"But I will miss you terribly. I shall be dreadfully lonely without you" her voice was edged with sorrow now.

"I will miss you too Alice, but I shall write and when my legs are healed I shall visit you as often as I can"

"Edward, please do not do this" she beseeched.

"What else am I supposed to do Alice? Seeing her everyday knowing that she does not return my affections will destroy me, I need to go." my voice began to break as I spoke. "Oh Alice I don't know what I am supposed to do now, everything is such a frightful mess. The pain is crippling me, my sun has been extinguished" tears began to stream down my face once more.

Without a word Alice leant over and took my letter from me and moved my table. She perched on the arm of my chair and embraced me once more.

"I love her more than life its self, without her I see nothing but pointlessness" I sobbed violently as she held me close.

"It's ok, everything will be ok" she reassured but I could find no comfort in her words.

After a while Alice broke the silence,

"Edward, you have a visitor at your door" she said gently "Bella is here to see you. Do you wish for me to invite her in?"

"Things cannot take any more of a turn for the worse and I will have to speak with her eventually. Now seems as good a time as any I suppose" I shrugged

"Are you sure?"

I nodded wiping what remained of my salty tears from my face.

"I will speak with her briefly, allowing you some time to compose yourself. Then I shall retire upstairs, but I shall return in the morning hopeful that the whiskey bottle has not run dry" she placed the bottle on the floor next to me.

"Thank you Alice, thank you for everything. Thank you for being you" Through my misery I forced a smile for her.

"Oh Edward, you daft sod" Alice chuckled a little before planting a kiss on my forehead and venturing outside.

I could not bear to look at Bella as she sheepishly entered my room and began to apologise due to the pure fear that my recently subsided angry would rear its ugly head once more. I turned my head away as the choice I had made caused me a further complication. If I was not to allowing myself to be angry I could do nothing to prevent the tears from streaming freely down my face. Eventually she begged me to look at her and I turned to face her. Her face became a picture of grief as she saw me cry and I cruelly taunted her about the pleasure the sight was bringing her. Her expression worsened when I declined to let her touch me.

She poured her heart out to me as she told me how differently she wished she had conducted herself and that she should have told me she remembered me. Through my tears I asked her why she had been so nasty as to accuse me of imposing myself upon her only to receive the reply that she was confused. Confused? Not even in my darkest nightmares had I ever contemplated the fact that confusion could manifest its self as something so destructive and hateful. I was about to crudely inform Bella of my musings when I noticed she was holding my letter expressing my wishes for a transfer. She took hold of my hand begging me not to leave as she fell to her knees, her desperation more than a little apparent.

"What reason do I have to stay?" my voice was a hoarse whisper.

"I need you Edward" she choked out

"Why do you need me?"

She stuttered as she struggled to answer my simple question, a peculiar cacophony of sounds leaving her mouth in the place of her lost words.

"Because you what? Why Bella? Why do you need me?" I so desperately needed to hear her say that she loved me, that she wanted to be with me that my voice began to sound frantic

"Because... because you are my friend and I... care about you" it was not the answer I had fervently hoped she would give. I swiftly pulled back my hand from hers and lifelessly asked her to leave.

"Please forgive me" was all she said as she got up to leave. As she slowly made her way to the door the reality of the situation hit me. She did not love me nor did she want anything more than a friendship... the love of my life did not want me. I began to experience debilitating pains in my chest as it tightened to the point where I could hardly draw breath. I called for her one last time, silently pleading for her love and affections. She said nothing as she made her way to me and held me in her arms; her touch immediately putting an end to the dreadful ache in my chest. I pulled her on to my lap so I could return her embrace.

With my head against her shoulder I began to weep uncontrollably. I felt the warmth of her soft skin, the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, I inhaled her delicate scent and as she kissed the top of my head I felt her soft lips against my skin all for the last time.

"I love you Isabella Swan and will continue to do so until the end of my existence"

"I know Edward. I'm sorry, I should not have stayed I should have left when you asked me to. It is dreadfully cruel of me to be here when I cannot say what you need to hear" she began to make her way to the door again.

"Why can you not say it?"

"Because I belong to Jasper I promised myself to him and there is still a chance that he may return"

She left me, departing into the cold night. The pressing pain in my chest promptly returned as my body began to ache for her, I craved for her to be near me once more. Rocking back and forth I attempted to soothe my pain and find some form of comfort. The exercise was frightfully ineffective instead I turned my efforts elsewhere and I sought solace from the depths of the whiskey bottle.

Alice shook me awake in the morning. I was clutching the empty whiskey bottle close to me as she gave me a look of disapproval. I glanced at my watch to see that it was past eleven.

"Oh Edward, what did I say to you before I left?"

"You implied I should not drink all of the whiskey" I croaked feeling awfully groggy

"And what have you done?"

"I have drank all of the whiskey" I groaned

"Then I have no sympathy for you" she said as she playfully ruffled my hair. I let out an almighty grumble as my head was jostled from side to side "I'm sorry Edward, is your head sore?" she jested sarcastically.

"I had a bad night" I chuckled slightly at her light heartedness.

"Well your morning is about to get worse dear boy. It is time for you to have a bath"

"But Alice, I feel so awfully dreadful and you are not due to start work until this afternoon"

"That is true, but I promised you I would return to speak with you this morning and I cannot do that while you sit in front of me smelling as if you are a distillery"

She helped me to the bathroom and left me alone for a while. I had to admit I enjoyed a bath. While my legs were dressed and bandaged bathing had not been an option for me, however now I did not require the bandages I greatly looked forward to soaking myself in the hot soapy water. Bath time was over all too soon as Alice was desperate to speak with me and we returned to my room.

"Have you seen sense and reconsidered your foolish notion of transferring hospitals" she asked.

"It is with great regret that I say that it still appears to be my only option" I sighed

"Utter nonsense! You are running away from your problems Lance Corporal and it shall do you no good" she began hurriedly moving around my room collecting various items and holding them in her arms. Her tongue was protruding slightly from the one corner of her mouth as she concentrated on what she was doing.

"Alice, you are behaving rather oddly" I chuckled at the sight of her "Would you care to explain what you are doing?"

"I am removing all of your writing equipment so you are unable to write and request a transfer" she began rummaging through my wardrobe as she spoke "I am making it my duty to protect you from your own absurdness"

"You cannot stop me"

"Watch me" she stuck her tongue out at me in defiance. After a week without her it was a pleasant relief that the old, silly and childlike Alice had returned. I had missed her awfully. The sight was such a welcomed one that I almost forgot about my woes with Bella... _almost_.

"I have a voice and it is fully functioning. I can always ask the other nurses for a pen and some paper"

Carrying my belongings Alice dashed from my room explaining that she would return momentarily.

"Where have you been?" I asked when she merrily skipped back into my room sporting a mischievous grin.

"Well Edward, I have erected a large sign in the nurse's station for all to see. It reads, under no circumstances is Lance Corporal Cullen to come into possession of a pen or paper, failure to comply with this notice will result in the punishment of two weeks bed pan duty." She smiled proudly and placed her hands on her hips "No one wants bed pan duty Edward, no one"

"Alice Brandon, your tenacity astounds me" I smiled "You mark my words I shall have my revenge"

"Well Lance Corporal, to exact your revenge you will have to stay at Bicton will you not?" she smiled slyly

"Do you have any idea how exasperating you are?"

"Of course" she chirped making her way to my bed. "Well, since you have decided to stay I have soon news that may lift your spirits a little"

"Lift my spirits? I am doubtful of that but do continue"

"Would I be wrong in saying that you spare no fondness for Nurse Hale?"

"Not at all, she is a most unfavourable person" my reply caused her to grin from ear to ear.

"Then this will most definitely make you smile. Last night while I was helping you down the stairs Bella was being comforted by Nurse Hale. Nurse Hale decided to speak of you in a most derogatory way"

"That does not surprise me" I interrupted

"Bella was not amused by this and set about your defence. After a few choice words Bella slapped Nurse Hale around the face" Alice was now giggling "I know I am her friend and I should not be laughing at her expense but she is sporting quite a bruise this morning"

"Bravo" I snorted through my laughter.

Alice looked out of the window for a moment and smiled at something I was unable to see.

"Oh Edward, it is nice to see you laugh" she spoke genuinely "And I am glad you have decided to stay"

"Me?" I scoffed

"Yes you!" she flashed me a cheeky smile before looking out of the window once more "It is time for me to go now, but I shall say it again I will fight so very hard for you Edward"

Alice skipped from my room leaving me to ponder the cause of her sudden odd behaviour; I could see nothing out of sorts through the window. My questions were soon answered by the appearance of none other than Santa Claus at my French doors. I stared at the strange apparition with a great deal of perplexity. My confusion was ended when Santa pulled down his beard revealing the face of my father. My unexpected state of amazement grew further when my father stepped aside revealing my mother dressed as Mrs Claus and my good friend Jacob Black. I thanked the stars that Jake was dressed smartly in his uniform and not as some kind of elf or reindeer.

They had sent me no word of their impending arrival and I had not been expecting them. I greeted them all as happily as I was able to given my present circumstances. It was not that I was not happy to see them it was that my mind kept drifting to Bella causing me to feel nothing but melancholy.

"HO HO HO" my father bellowed as he walked through the door swinging a bottle of sherry to and fro in his hand as if it was a bell "Merry Christmas"

"A Merry Christmas to you too Father, but you do realise today is only the 21st don't you?"

"Yes son, but we are unable to stay for Christmas Day so we thought it only right to have Christmas earlier this year. We have bought you Jake as a Yuletide gift, I tried my best to gift wrap him but the rotten chap would not have any of it. He just kept tearing his way out of the paper every time I attempted it" he patted me on the back before taking a seat.

"Hello Mother, you are looking frightfully special"

"Why thank you" she beamed as she did a little twirl for my benefit "We thought we would surprise you with a little festive visit, your father is well and truly in the festive mood, that is his second bottle of sherry" she bent down to kiss my cheek before instructing my father to go back out side and retrieve some boxes. My father tutted but did as he was asked whilst muttering about only just having sat down.

"You are looking well Edward, much better than when I last saw you" Jake gave me a tight embrace and patted my back.

"It is jolly nice to see you too Jake, I'm glad you are alive and well. I have missed your company."

My mother then set Jake about retrieving boxes too.

"Do you have anything to inform me of Edward" my mother asked suspiciously making sure we were alone

"Other than the fact I found the ring you left, no" my reply was a cold one

"How is Nurse Swan?" she smiled sweetly

"She is fine as far as I am aware" I spat

"Edward Cullen, you tell me right this minute was has happened between you two" her voice was full of matriarchal authority

"Nothing has happened of any relevance to you Mother"

"I have only been here a few short moments and I can already see you are not your usual self. I can see it in your eyes, a sadness that was not present before. Something has happened and if you will not tell me then you leave me no choice but to ask Nurse Swan"

"Not that it is any of your business Mother but I kissed her and she rejected my advances. I told her I loved her but she does not return my affections"

"Oh Edward, I am sorry. When did this happen? Are you ok? Forgive me son that was a frightfully silly thing to ask it is obvious you are not ok"

Fortunately for me, before I was given a chance to answer my mother's questions Jake and my father returned each carrying a large box of Christmas decorations. My mother rummaged through the boxes and began barking decorating orders as my father began pouring the sherry. I was not in the correct frame of mind for festivities and even if I had of been I was unable to help because of my blasted legs so I sat back and sipped slowly at my sherry. I watched as the merriment unfolded, they hung tinsel and paper chains as the sherry flowed and they sang to the seasonal music on the wireless. Jake did as he was told when was asked to retrieve yet more boxes, he returned with an enormity of gift wrapped presents. He placed them on top of me and left again as my mother explained these were for her good little boy from Santa.

"Mother I am a grown man, I am aware Santa is a myth" I chuckled a little

Jake returned placing yet more presents upon my lap, I could barely see over the top of the mountain of gifts when he left the room yet again.

There was a knock at the door, my father quickly drank the rest of his sherry before going to greet the visitor. From the sound of the knock I was all too aware that it was Bella that stood on the other side, my stomach responded by churning with apprehension.

My father welcomed her with his now usual Ho Ho Ho, and she laughed at his amusing appearance telling him he looked wonderful. My temper flared as I pondered how she could be so jovial when only last night she broke my heart. Father sat in the seat next to me as Bella spoke to my mother and examined my freshly decorated room. My father decided that it would be tremendously funny that while I was rendered defenceless by the sheer volume of presents on top of me to begin to decorate my hair with left over baubles and tinsel. It did little to amuse me. Bella's eyes were wide with child like joy as her eyes darted around the entire room smiling at the vast display of decorations.

She looked at me and began to speak only to be interrupted by the arrival of Jake who was carrying yet more presents.

"Nurse Swan, it gives me great pleasure to introduce you to Private Black. He is a good friend of Edward's and has been fortunately blessed with a little leave over Christmas. Jacob this is the lovely Nurse Swan" My father seemed to like Bella and took great pleasure in introducing her.

Jake rushed to introduce himself to Bella, placing yet more presents on me. I was left unable to see anything but gift wrap. I listened to their conversation as my father kindly allowed me to regain my sight by removing some of the presents that were blinding me. I could not help crack a smile as Bella's adorable goofiness got the better of her when she was speaking with Jake.

My temper began to blaze and my jealously flared as he kissed her beneath the mistletoe. I was well aware my feelings were unnecessary the kiss was nothing but festive innocence but I could not help myself. With great difficulty and reluctance I did as Jake asked and turned up the volume of the wireless so he could dance with the girl I wished was mine. I could not bear to watch the happy scene.

After the song had ended Bella thanked Jake for a pleasurable dance. I inwardly cringed, crippled with jealousy as Jake smoothly winked at her causing her to blush.

"I have come at an inappropriate time so I shall make my exit now. I shall visit you later Lance Corporal, but if this is inconvenient with you I am returning to work in the morning so I shall no doubt see you then." She smiled at me but I made no attempt to reply.

Bella excused herself and left.

"If you would excuse me gentleman, I need to pay a visit to the bathroom" my mother stood and swiftly made her way out of the room. I was almost certain that she had no intention of using that bathroom or at least not until she had spoken to Nurse Swan.

My father stumbled into the seat furthest away from me holding the empty sherry bottle and stared at it longingly. Jake seated himself next to me.

"You are very fortunate to have been given time to yourself over the holidays Jake. How long have you been granted leave for?"

"Not long enough" he chuckled. Blessed with a mirthful disposition, the world could very well be crumbling to dust around Jake and he would still be happy. "I was granted just over two weeks, I am expected to report back to duty on New Year's Day"

"It is a wonderful surprise to have you here. Did Leah not wish to join you?"

"Leah and I are no more"

"Oh I had no idea. I am so sorry" I said genuinely

"There is no need for sorrow Eddie, I have been lucky to escape from her" he said with a chortle.

"How so?"

"Things have been uneasy between us for a while. I was granted a little leave around three months ago, although not entirely happy with my decision I thought it best to spend some time with her. I had been on foreign soil for the previous eight months so she would be expecting my company. When I called at her door I realised I was not the only thing she was expecting" he said with a wide smile.

"Pregnant?" I disbelievingly questioned

"Six months gone, in fact the baby should be due around now. I was not foolish enough to believe her lies when she insisted she had done no wrong and the baby was mine"

I was about to respond to his tale when I was disturbed by the unpleasantly loud din of snoring, my father had fallen asleep in his chair cradling the bottle of sherry as if it were an infant, his white beard hanging around his neck.

"Carlisle has certainly been very eager to celebrate the holidays, I am not at all surprised he has drifted off" Jake laughed.

I had been blessed with Jacob Black's friendship for a good few years now, when he had moved to Enfield when he was 14 he attended my school and we soon became inseparable. The conversation flowed easily between us and we conversed about the war effort and Jake's time abroad and his family as well as my progress for a good half hour before my mother returned to the room.

"Was there a queue for the bathroom?" I asked sarcastically.

My mother scowled before replying

"No there was not Edward. I bumped into Nurse Brandon and have been speaking with her. I have invited her to join the celebrations and she will be joining us momentarily" she looked over to where my father was sleeping "Oh Carlisle" she sighed before allowing a small giggle escape "I knew I should have kept him on a leash"

Alice danced through the door tunefully singing God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. She had changed her outfit from the one she had worn earlier. A beautiful white dress now adorned her slim figure her legs were covered by white stockings with matching white high heels and a star topped wand made from silver tinsel was held in her hand.

"Alice?" I asked

"Sorry I had to leave abruptly before; it was just that when I saw your family dressed for the occasion I needed some time to get my outfit together so I was able to join the party. I am the Christmas tree fairy although unfortunately I am missing the Christmas tree" she announced with a twirl

"You look stunning Alice, absolutely wonderful"

"Thank you" she beamed "Have I missed the party?" she asked while looking at my unconscious father.

"Of course not my dear the fun is just about to begin" my mother replied whilst armed with her little make-up bag and the most mischievous grin.

The four of us chatted animatedly while my father slept. Although the time had been filled with silliness and Christmas cheer melancholy thoughts of Nurse Swan still occupied a part of my mind preventing me from enjoying myself as much as I should be.

Eventually my father began to stir from his slumber.

"Hello and Merry Christmas Nurse Brandon" he smiled "I see you have taken great effort to join today's festivities and may I say you are looking rather spiffing?"

"Yes you may Mr Cullen, thank you. You are looking very pretty yourself too" she giggled at my father who looked at her as if she had gone quite mad. "I'm afraid I will have to take my leave now as my shift is about to begin. I do hope to see you all tomorrow" she chuckled some more as she left.

"Nurse Brandon is a most wonderful and pleasant girl yet she is rather strange" I was unable to look at my father as he spoke. Unlike my mother and Jake I did however manage to keep a straight face "However she seems to have struck upon one sensible idea, it seems like an appropriate time for us to depart too, does it not?"

My mother nodded, her lips pressed firmly together in an attempt to subdue her smile "Yes dear, I think you are right" she looked at the floor as she spoke.

After the four of us had exchanged our goodbyes and I was alone in my room I burst into fits of laughter. My mother had been most cruel to him whilst he had slept, nonetheless her cruelty was good-humoured. Despite giggling like a school girl she had very carefully applied a shocking shade of pink lipstick to my father's mouth before moving on to skilfully applying make-up to his eyes and blusher to his cheeks. When she had finished she stepped back. Taking a few moments she and Alice had admired her professional handiwork announcing that my father was a true sleeping beauty. The image of my unknowing father's heavily decorated face would be burnt into my mind forever and probably many minds of people simply passing by him.

Now alone my mind drifted to Bella and how I should cope with my feelings. After all now Alice had decided I was not allowed to transfer hospitals I would be seeing Bella most days. Knowing that I could not hold her or kiss her or even treat her the way I wished made the thought of seeing her was a painful one. I pondered the idea of requesting that she no longer helped with my treatment, but quickly dismissed it knowing for well that only Bella was trained for the job. I thought maybe I should be standoffish and cold towards her, but the thought of her sad face churned my stomach. The thought of being pleasant and friendly towards her as if nothing had occurred caused me great agitation, when all is said and done she had lied. My head was still aching from the previous night's whiskey and adding my confusion to the mix only made it worse. I decided a little fresh air would make it better, perhaps the cold breeze against my face would clear my mind making the correct path to take clearer to me. I had my reservations but it was worth an attempt.

I reached into the wardrobe for my black winter jacket, it fitted snugly over the navy blue jumper I was wearing. I completed my winter outfit with a black knitted scarf and a pair of dark brown leather gloves. I followed the paved garden path from outside of my door towards the front of the hospital. Despite only being just past four in the afternoon the sky was getting dark and the ground were fearfully quiet. I made my way passed the entrance and the path continued leading me to the other side of the hospital. Once my head felt a little clearer and my body began suffering from the cold I chose to begin my journey back towards my room. It was when I began the journey I was able to see the distinct shape of a couple walking arm in arm towards the hospital. As they neared my position I was certain that the female of the couple was Bella and the man who was carrying an unusually large amount of shopping bags appeared to be her fiancés brother. They seemed happy, Bella skipped excitedly at his side her partner through his head back and laughed wholeheartedly at something I was unable to hear.

I began to pick up the pace of my travels a little to avoid an awkward meeting, I had crossed the main path and my room was in sight but it was too late.

"Lance Corporal" the man's voice bellowed "Lance Corporal Cullen" I reluctantly turned to see him running towards me leaving Nurse Swan surrounded by shopping bags on the steps up to the building. She briefly looked at me before picking up some of the bags and taking them inside.

"Can I help you?" I asked as the man got closer

"I did not get the chance to formally introduce myself before, I am Pilot Emmett Whitlock. My brother is marrying..." he made an awkward sounding groan before correcting himself "...was going to marry Nurse Swan"

"Nice to meet you Pilot Whitlock" I said genuinely as I held out my hand to the seemingly pleasant chap "And how can I be of assistance today?"

"I wished to thank you in person for your protectiveness over Nurse Swan last time we met. I realise how it must have looked to you and I am very glad she has a friend to take care of her. I would like be in her company more but try as I might it is just not possible."

"I am very sorry for my abrupt and insulting rudeness last time we met Pilot Whitlock, I should have ascertained the true nature of things before becoming aggressive"

"Nonsense. I am very glad Nurse Swan has such good friends as you, Nurse Webber, Nurse Brandon and Nurse Hale. I can rest assured knowing that you will all do you best to make her happy and safe. The way you have all cared for her would have made Jasper very happy indeed"

I thanked him before excusing myself and heading back to my room.

I had navigated my way around the ridiculous amount of Christmas presents my parents had delivered and I was busy hanging up my coat when I noticed a small folded piece of white paper had been pushed underneath my door. It was addressed to me although I did not recognise the handwriting. I leant down to pick it up and unfolded it.

**Edward, **

**Please do not think that I have forgotten about you or my promise to visit you.**

**I have a few urgent matters to attend to then I shall be at your door.**

**If you do not open your door I will fully understand, **

**your wish not to see me.**

**Once again I am sorry**

**Bella.**

I read her letter twice over secretly wishing that I had the strength not to open the door to her to save myself more heart ache when my fresh wounds are torn open further. But like a fool I knew I would open the door.

Around half an hour later she knocked at my door and I invited her in. She wore a knee length plain black dress with stockings and shoes to match, a single dark crimson rose was pinned to the breast of the small black cardigan she wore, in her one hand a black hat in the other a hand bag.

"Hello Edward" her voice was quiet "I'm sorry we did not get the opportunity to speak earlier, I did not feel it was appropriate to air our problems in front of your family. Be that as it may I am here now" she paused "How are you?"

"As well as can be expected after I have had my heart trodden on" my voice was indifferent as I spoke.

"I am so sorry, I have been an awful person" she chewed her lip as she looked down towards the floor, nervously fidgeting on her feet in front of me "Do you... are you still planning to leave Bicton?"

"No. Have you entered the nurse's station at all today?" I asked thinking back to earlier today when Alice had visited. She shook her head "The next time you do you will see Alice has gone to great efforts to keep me here"

Her high heels tapped loudly on the floor as she took a few steps closer to me and sat down in the chair. She reached into her back and pulled out my journal.

"Alice gave me this to read last night. Your words are beautiful and they moved me to tears, they bought me sadness and joy all at once" she was leaning forward resting her arms upon her thighs, she held the book in both hands looking at the front cover as she spoke. "But I think it only right that I return this to you"

"You don't want it?" my voice expressing more hurt than I would have liked it to.

"It is not that I do not want it, it is that I can see how writing your feelings down help you. I do not wish to deprive you of that comfort" she handed me back the book as I silently swore I would never write in it again. "What is to become of our friendship now Edward?"

"That is a question I do not know the answer to Isabella" I sighed. "What do you wish for it to become?"

She pondered her answer for a long moment before replying

"I think I would like us to forget about last night and to carry on as before"

"So your saying that you wish to forget that I have deep feelings for you and forget that we shared a kiss?" I spat at her feeling dreadfully hurt that she wished to ignore how I felt.

"No" she exclaimed "Edward you are making this terribly difficult. I am very flattered by your fondness and your kisses and I can assure you that I will treasure the beautiful things you said to me. If I were not engaged I would like to think that perhaps things would be different between us, but I am engaged." she sighed and hesitated obviously finding this conversation difficult. "I wish for us to forget about my part in last night not yours. I would like to forget my lies and cruelness Edward not your affections"

"I can make no promises Bella. You have hurt me deeply right to the very core of my being but I shall try because it is what you want"

"Thank you Edward"

"Nurse Swan you look very..." I wished to say beautiful, dazzling and exquisite but it was improper timing "...smart. May I ask where you are going?"

"I am travelling to Minsterley church shortly, Jasper's family have arranged a memorial service for him. It has upset me to dress this way when I still believe there is hope he will be found" she forced a sad smile.

"It is probably best that you be on your way, you do not wish to be late" it was cruel of me to ask her to leave when she needed a shoulder to cry on but for now and possibly for ever more I was not able to be that shoulder for her.

She stood up and she placed the large black felt mourning hat on her head and pulled down the black veil to cover her face. She was obviously upset I am unsure whether my last comment was the cause of her upset or whether it was the thought of her fiancé. She began to walk towards the door sparing me one last glance backwards before she left.

A little later on I watched as she was leaving the hospital accompanied by Pilot Whitlock and a similarly dressed Nurse Webber.

**Don't worry it won't stay sad for much longer.**

**Its time for Edward to go back into the cupboard now!**

**I hope you have all been to see and enjoyed eclipse, I know I did!**

**Leave me hundreds of lovely reviews and I'll let him out again soon, I promise!**

**Magenta xx**


	27. Chapter 27

_**A special thanks to my awesome beta, if you haven't read Consumed by fire then you really should!**_

_**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**_

_**Edward is back in the cupboard for a while now but don't worry I'm making him comfortable.**_

_**It's time to hear what Esme has to say to Bella and Jasper's memorial.**_

_**Marcy it's your time to shine!**_

Bella 

I reluctantly turned myself around to face Edward's disgruntled mother. I was confronted by an evidently furious Mrs Cullen doing what she deemed necessary to protect her son. She stood only inches from me her expression was austere and her body language expressed nothing but rigid authority. The encounter was made slightly less frightening by the fact that she was still wearing her Mrs Claus outfit which detracted a little of her seriousness.

"Would you care to tell me exactly what has gone on between you and my son?" she said sharply. I was a little taken aback by her tone, yes Edward was her son that was a given, but what happened in mine and his friendship was surely none of her concern.

"With the greatest of respects Mrs Cullen it is not my place to be saying such things and just for the record you tone of voice is not a favourable one"

"Nurse Swan" she snarled with a voice full of anger "He has told me his account but Edward has a tendency to tell only half a story. I wish to know what you have to say"

"I'll have you know I am under no obligation to tell you anything" I snapped at her. Her audacity was causing my temper to begin to bubble "You have no right to come out into the corridor and address me in the manner that you are. Who exactly do you think you are?" The words flowed confidently from my mouth. For the first time in a long while I was proud of myself, inside I was trembling with fear but my voice betrayed none of it I sounded strong and forceful.

She looked awfully taken aback my new found confidence but said nothing. It was I who chose to break the silence.

"Well if that is all I shall be on my way" I turned on my heels to leave.

"Please accept my sincerest apologies. I have no right to speak to you in such a way, I do not know what has come over me. I'm so dreadfully worried about my son"

"What exactly did he tell you?" despite my anger I did my best to make my voice sound as pleasant as possible as her apology sounded genuine.

"He told me he kissed you and you rebuffed his advances. Edward said he told you he loved you and you could not say it back to him." I inwardly released a sigh of unadulterated relief, tremendously pleased he had not told her of my crude indiscretions.

"Yes that is true. Edward was well aware I was engaged before this happened, I have never hidden that fact from him" I said matter-of-factly

"Oh Nurse Swan, I have never seen him so disheartened and despondent. He is trying so very hard to put on a brave face for the sake of Carlisle and Jacob, but I am his mother I can see the unhappiness in his eyes as soon as I look at him" her voice was edged with sorrow.

"Please call me Bella" I placed my hand on her upper arm as a gesture of support "Please believe me when I say I am trying my hardest to put this right. It hurts me as it hurts you to see him like this, he may not believe me but I care for him deeply"

"I wish you the best of luck Bella, he does not always respond well to emotional upheavals he has a tendency to shut down or run away rather than confront his problems" I dared not tell her of his plans to leave the hospital.

I spoke with her for a few moments longer before excusing myself and making my way into Shrewsbury.

It was a wonderfully pretty town at any time of the year but at Christmas Shrewsbury was nothing less than magnificent. Little perfectly decorated Christmas trees were in every shop window, pretty coloured baubles, tinsel and Christmas stockings hung from shop displays and festive bunting adorned every single street. Excitable children scampered around the Victorian markets playing games and wishing for snow, the smell of warm mulled wine and mulled cider hung pleasantly in the air. Carol singers serenaded passersby with beautiful hymns while chestnuts roasted on nearby fires. Once I had finished shopping for gifts I began making my way towards the town square. Towering over the square was a splendidly impressive Christmas tree. It was at least sixty feet tall and tastefully decorated with masses of silver tinsel and red felt bows. The lower braches held an abundance of white candles each one burning for the memory of a lost loved one. I lit a candle for Jasper before standing back and watching the flame flicker for a little while.

My thoughts were interrupted by a familiar and friendly voice.

"Good afternoon Isabella, it is a pleasant surprise to meet you like this"

"Good afternoon to you too Emmett" I smiled

"Is the flame you are so avidly watching for Jasper?" I nodded sadly "Would you mind if I joined you?"

"I would like that a lot"

As we watched he placed one of his brawny arms around my shoulder and squeezed me gently, I looked up at him and smiled grateful for his comfort.

"I lit the candle not in remembrance for Jasper but in hope that he would return" I continued to look at the tree as I spoke

"It would appear we share the same hopes"

"I miss him terribly"

"As do I Isabella, as do I"

We continued to silently watch the candle burn for a good while before Emmett suggested that we seek some refreshment. We made our way back towards the market stalls and Emmett kindly bought me a warm glass of mulled cider. I sipped at it slowly it savouring the delicious taste.

"What has bought you into town Emmett?"

"By the looks of your shopping bags the same reason as you. I am shopping for gifts, well one gift in particular actually. The problem being I have not one clue of what to get"

"I am willing to offer my services if you think I can be of help. Who is the gift for?" his cheeks immediately flushed crimson "Am I to take it by your reaction that the gift is for a lady" I giggled

"You are most observant Bella. The gift is for Nurse Hale" he smiled and his eyes sparkled at the mention of her name.

"You are smitten with her Emmett!" I exclaimed with my hands on my cheeks.

"Yes I am. I was hoping to get her a nice gift and then ask her out for a drink or perhaps lunch" he said shyly

"Oh that is wonderful. I happen to know that she is a little smitten with you too" I beamed

We wandered around the shops until we settled on an item we both thought was perfect. Emmett paid as the shop assistant carefully gift wrapped the beautiful red glass beaded choker.

"Emmett I have had a wonderful time today you are superb company. However I really need to be getting back, I think you should accompany me to Bicton so you can give Rose an early Christmas present" I smirked

"If the truth be known I was planning on visiting the hospital this afternoon anyway. You see I was coming to invite you and Nurse Webber to a service of remembrance for Jasper. It is being held this evening at Minsterley Church"

"Oh I see" my tone was once again a sombre one

"I can fully understand if you do not wish to attend, after all it is dreadfully short notice and more importantly it is very... final"

"I cannot speak for Nurse Webber but I would be glad to attend"

We began the walk back to Bicton, arm in arm. Eventually the heavy mood lifted and I began to tease Emmett about Rose. It felt good to laugh and be silly after all I had not been able to over the past week. As I skipped towards the hospital entrance I noticed Edward wheeling himself in the direction of his room, if he had seen me he offered me no acknowledgment. When we reached the hospital entrance Emmett politely excused himself and jogged off in Edward's direction.

I glanced at Edward hoping he would at least give me a wave or a smile but he looked straight through me as if I was not there. I did my best to over look the pain his actions caused me as I began the task of moving my heavy shopping bags inside leaving the two men to speak. I placed my bags at the foot of the stairs before retrieving a piece of paper and a pen from my bag and scrawling down a note for Edward. At a reasonable pace I dashed down the corridor to place the note under his door, before our altercation I would have nothing of entering his room and placing the note on his table however I know felt it for the best to respect his privacy. I passed several nurses who were most busy decorating the corridor with holly wreaths and paper chains, far too busy to notice me so I decided not to address them.

I made my way upstairs and stashed away my shopping in my room before hurriedly making my way along the corridor to see Angela. I was thrilled to find she was in her room and yet to go downstairs for her shift.

"Hello Bella" she smiled while adding the final adjustments to her head dress "I don't wish to be rude but I shall have to hurry you as I am late for my shift"

"I fully understand. I had just called upon you to ask if you would be able to accompany me to Jasper's memorial service this evening." At the mention of his name she abruptly stopped flattening down her apron and looked up with an obvious sadness in her eyes. "It is alright if you do not. I realise it is terribly short notice and that you have to work, I have only just found out myself"

"I would very much like to attend for Jasper and for you Bella. I will speak with Rose and Alice and ask them to cover for me for a while."

"Thank you" my voice was full of gratitude for I really did need her support. "Emmett has arranged a taxi to take us to the church for the service and I am told there will be refreshments afterwards at the local inn"

"I shall do my best Bella" sensing the anguish that was gradually building inside of she took me by the shoulders kissed me gently on the cheek before rushing off.

Once back in my own room I pinned up my hair and dressed slowly and unwillingly into an outfit I had once worn for the funeral of a family friend. I placed a pair of elbow length black silk gloves carefully into my handbag and took hold of my veiled hat before making my way to the door. As I stood elegantly clothed in black from head to toe my right hand twitched a little as my brain fought against its urge to take hold of the door handle. I was more than a little aware that once I departed from the safety of my room I would be one small step closer to the heart wrenching task of wishing my fiancé farewell. In my heart I knew I would be unable to hide and shy away from the task forever, it was something that however reluctant I was I would have to do at some point in time. I took a long deep breath before finally granting permission for my hand to take hold of the door handle with another breath I pulled it open and stepped out into the corridor.

I made my way down the stairs in a trance, wondering what I would say to the mourners at the service when in fact I was still clutching tightly to a small glimmer of hope that he would return alive and well. Was it best to tell them how I really felt when they offered me their condolences or to just accept their commiserations and sympathies silently?

"Bella" Angela's voice disturbed me from my preoccupation as I almost unknowingly walked through the ward towards Edward's room. I turned to face her "if the offer is still open I would like very much to join you tonight"

"I would like nothing better than to have you at my side" I forced a mournful smile

"Unfortunately I will not be able to stay after the service for the refreshments. With Pilot Whitlock's promise that he will escort you home I have organised myself a taxi after the service. Here, you should wear this" she said as she began to pin a crimson rose, that she had borrowed from a vase of flowers, to my cardigan.

"Thank you Angela" I turned and began to continue my journey

"And Bella" she called after me "You look beautiful, Jasper would be proud"

I knocked upon Edward's door and was invited in. Edward was in his wheelchair positioned between the two chairs where his parents had been seated earlier in the day. On his lap laid an unopened book in his hand was the note I had left for him when I had returned to the hospital. It took me but a few seconds to see that his mother had been correct; there was an obvious sadness in his eyes.

"Hello Edward. I'm sorry we did not get the opportunity to speak earlier; I did not feel it was appropriate to air our private affairs in front of your family. Be that as it may I am here now" I paused a little before I asked a question that I was not sure I wished to hear the answer to "How are you?"

"As well as can be expected after I have had my heart trodden on" his reply was full of bitterness

I apologised once more before asking him of his plans to transfer hospitals. I was pleased to hear that his plans were no longer to leave Bicton, although it appeared that Alice had somehow taken the decision from out of his hands. I took a seat next to him and delved into my bag to retrieve his journal for him.

"Alice gave me this to read last night. Your words are beautiful and they moved me to tears, they bought me sadness and joy all at once. But I think it only right that I return this to you" my eyes never left the cover of the book as I spoke to him.

"You don't want it?" he sounded devastated. Yet again I had unintentionally trampled all over his heart, crudely puncturing it with my heels every step I took.

I did my best to justify my actions as I held out the journal for him and he snatched it from my hands.

"What is to become of our friendship now Edward?"

"That is a question I do not know the answer to Isabella. What do you wish for it to become?" as he spoke to me I could not help but to notice the pain it seemed to cause him to look at me.

"I think I would like us to forget about last night and to carry on as before"

"So you're saying that you wish to forget that I have deep feelings for you and forget that we shared a kiss?" his anger was becoming more apparent. He had every right to be angry with me but he was well aware that that was not what I had meant; he was purposely being obstinate and cantankerous. I found his attitude to be highly irritating but I chose to over look it as I was trying to make a mends.

I more clearly explained my previous statement and Edward replied that he would try to reinstate out companionship but he was unable to make me any promises. I was happy in the fact that he would try; at least it was a start.

"Nurse Swan you look very smart. May I ask where you are going?"

I informed him of my plans for the evening doing nothing to hide my distress and discomfort at the prospect of a memorial service for some one that I refused to believe was dead.

"It is probably best that you be on your way, you do not wish to be late" he dismissed me coldly from his room. It was not in Edward's character to be so heartless and cruel and it upset me immensely, nevertheless I said nothing silently accepting my punishment for hurting him. I positioned my hat and veil to avoid showing him the tears that were threatening to escape my eyes and left his room.

When I arrived in the entrance hall I was warmly greeted by the open arms of Emmett. He looked frightfully dapper in his fitted black suit buttoned up over a navy blue shirt and black tie, the shine on his shoes reflected the light from the chandelier perfectly. He held me close to him as he whispered in my ear that I looked wonderful, I spoke truthfully when returned his compliment. He informed me that the taxi was awaiting us in the grounds and as soon as Angela was ready we would leave.

I heard the tapping of heels on the stairs before Angela came into view. She descended them dressed in a white shirt and a black pencil skirt with a jacket to match. Her dark hair hung free styled in very charming loose ringlets, a pretty diamond pendant on a silver chain adorned her neck. She carried with her a smart black coat with a fur lined collar as well as my own black winter coat.

"I took the liberty of collecting this from your room. I hope you do not mind but I did not wish for you to be cold"

"Thank you Angela, I do not know what I would do without you"

After we had donned our coats Emmett held out his arm for me to take and we made our way outside to the car that was awaiting us.

I was barely conscious of the journey we undertook, my mind absorbed with worry and grief. All too soon we arrived at a church surrounded by evergreen plants and trees. It was a modest red brick building; the large door was surrounded by a series of lighter coloured stones into which the occasional flower was carved. Three leaded windows were positioned above the entrance the middle one slightly larger than the others, a multitude of candles burned brightly in each. Above the larger window was a clock face, the workings of the clock were evidently broken as the hands both pointed to the number twelve. At the end of the gravel path that led up to the door stood a crowd of mourning people, all eyes turned to look at the car as the engine was turned off. Angela and Emmett disembarked almost immediately I however remained firmly seated clutching the handle of my bag hoping it would bring me some form security.

"Bella, is everything alright?" a concerned Emmett asked leaning in through the open door of the car.

"I'm not sure I can go through with this Emmett" my gaze remained fixed on the windscreen of the vehicle "It is just too final particularly when I do not wish to lose hope that he is still alive. There are an awful lot of people here who will expect me to remain strong and I just do not think I can do it" the speed in which I spoke was rapid making my panic known.

"It's ok, calm down Bella." Emmett reached into the car and took my hand in his "I will be at your side every step of the way and if it gets too much I shall think nothing of accompanying you outside for a while or even back to Bicton."

"Do you promise you will be at my side?" I asked

"You have my word, if it pleases you we can go as far as to accompany each other to the bathroom" he smiled and I could not help myself but to chuckle a little.

As we reached the crowd gathering at the entrance to the church I was greeted by Mr and Mrs Whitlock, this was only the second time I had met them. They were dressed smartly in black as the rest of us were.

"Isabella how nice it is to see you again" Mrs Whitlock said while embracing me and placing a kiss on each of my cheeks, Mr Whitlock repeated her actions before excusing himself to greet other mourners.

"It is a great shame that it could not be under more favourable circumstances"

"How are you coping dear?" she asked

"As well as can be expected" I skirted around the extent of my grief and my suspicions that Jasper had taken drastic measures to end his own life. Emmett was speaking to other mourners but had so far upheld his promise and was still a constant presence at my side "And you, how are you both doing?"

"Not well, we are concentrating on taking one day at a time" he voice was so sad and her agony apparent in each of her words.

"Is there anything I can do for you, anything at all to help you out?"

Before she could answer her attentions were directed to a young lady who was embracing Emmett, she released her grip on him to speak with Mrs Whitlock. They exchanged a few words before Mrs Whitlock politely introduced us.

"Marcella this is Isabella, Jasper's fiancée. Isabella this is Marcella, she is... was a very good friend of Jasper's. They were once teenage sweethearts and were fortunate enough to remain friends after their relationship ended"

Marcella was of average height and stunningly pretty, her statuesque beauty was on a level to rival Rose's. Her voluminous chestnut brown wavy hair framed her face perfectly; it was just long enough to rest upon her dainty shoulders. She was in possession of a wonderfully slim yet curvaceous body with an ample bust and her skin was a glorious shade of ivory. She was dressed in a black a-line skirt with a fitted jacket worn over a smart white shirt decorated with intricate lace work to complete her outfit she wore a moderately sized black feather fascinator in her hair. She conducted herself with an undeniable amount of grace and poise.

"How nice it is to finally meet you Isabella. Jasper spoke so very fondly of you" even her voice was so frightfully appealing and her kindness seemed nothing but genuine.

It caused me hurt to think that Jasper's heart had once belonged to her. After all she was ravishing in every perceivable way, why on earth would Jasper want to settle down with me when he could have married her? Perhaps she had ended their love affair and I was his consolation prize, his safety net, just as he was mine. It was neither rational nor an appropriate time for me to be thinking as I was. However nice she appeared to be I could not help feeling inadequate in her presence.

"Hello Marcella, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance"

"Please call me Marcy" she smiled.

From the corner of my eye I could see Angela approaching, she had been stood nearby not wishing to intrude on my time with Jasper's family, although I'm certain she would have been most welcome.

"It is nice to meet you Marcy"

Emmett took hold of my arm once more as we all began to make our way into the candle lit church. I was seated in-between Emmett and Angela on the pew at the very front of the church, Mr and Mrs Whitlock were seated hand in hand on the other side of Emmett. The Vicar began the service with readings from the bible, after a few moments Mr Whitlock stood up and left his seat making his way to the altar.

His voice broke as he gave a moving speech about a father's love for his son, sharing his happy memories of Jasper with the congregation. As the tears fell from my eyes I felt a gentle squeeze of support and comfort on my shoulder. I turned to see none other than Marcy smiling sadly as she wiped away her own tears, I placed my hand upon hers and silently thanked her for her compassion. Mr Whitlock had returned to his seat and was holding his wife in a tight embrace, the vicar spoke a little more before announcing that Marcy would now be saying a few words.

She removed her hand from my shoulder and she made her way to the altar.

"I have been blessed with Jasper's friendship for the majority of my life and I am truly grateful for that" she sniffed before she pulled out a folded piece of paper from her jacket pocket. "Before Jasper left for the battlefield, he took great pleasure in telling me of his beloved Bella. It was obvious to even the blindest of eyes that he was deeply in love and I could not have been happier for him" her eyes sought out mine and she smiled "I had not seen Jasper so happy in many a year which is why I made him a promise. At the time I did not realise this would be the final promise that I would ever make for him." tears flowed freely down her face now "He asked me that if he was not to return from the fight to read out a poem for his fiancée"

My heart was in my throat as she began to read.

"_**We've known lots of pleasure,**____**  
At times endured pain,**____**  
We've lived in the sunshine**____**  
And walked in the rain.**___

_**But now we're separated**____**  
And for a time apart,**____**  
But I am not alone-**____**  
You're forever in my heart.**___

_**Death always seems so sudden,**____**  
And it is always sure,**____**  
But what is oft' forgotten-**____**  
It is not without a cure.**___

_**There may be times you miss me,**____**  
I sort of hope you do,**____**  
But smile when you think of me,**____**  
For I'll be waiting for you.**___

_**Now there's many things for you to do,**____**  
And lots of ways to grow,**____**  
So get busy, be happy, and live your life,**____**  
Miss me, but let me go."**_

I looked to my left to see Angela silently weeping into a handkerchief and I was no longer able to hold in my sobs. Emmett held me in his arms and kissed my head softly Marcy also made her way over and joined the embrace. She seemed a caring and compassionate girl and I was rather glad Jasper would have called her his friend.

Not a moment too soon the service was over and we made our way outside, I bade farewell to Angela as she returned to Bicton. Emmett was still yet to have left my side. He and Marcy walked with me to the local drinking establishment and we shared a few glasses of wine and I listened and laughed as people shared happy memories of Jasper. When I decided it was time for me to depart Emmett was more than happy to accompany back to the hospital. Once outside the hospital entrance I thanked him from the bottom of my heart for his support and we wished each other a good night.

I could hear it the instant I opened the hospital doors, the beautiful sounds of the piano. I made my way to the lounge and opened the door a little, just enough to catch a glimpse of Edward at the piano. His back was towards me allowing me to sneak in unnoticed. I sat in an arm chair at the back of the room; I quietly removed my shoes and curled my legs up onto the seat. As Edward continued to play his harmonious composition, I sat back and enjoyed my own private concert whilst taking in every detail of the Christmas decorations that were now present in the room.

The piece of music ended and Edward glanced quickly over his shoulder, presumably to look at the clock that hung above the door. He seemed a little startled to see me in the room.

"I'm terribly sorry Edward; I was seduced by the sounds of the music. I shall leave you in peace now" I leant down and took a hold of my shoes and readied myself to leave.

"There is no need for you to leave Nurse Swan, I was about to retire to bed with a brandy" he seemed a little awkward in my presence as if he was unsure how he should conduct himself while around me, he ran his hand through his hair nervously "How was your evening?"

"Emotional" was the only reply I could muster

"It would be more than a little beneficial for you to make your way upstairs and get some rest would it not?" he said coldly

"I do not wish to cause you any further upset Edward, but would you please explain yourself? How dare you dismiss me as you have just done? Twice now you have asked me a pleasant and by all appearances a well meaning question, and twice now when I have answered, you have become cold and bitter towards me. If you do not wish to be friends then I will do my very best to struggle through your decision, what I cannot handle is yet more emotional whiplash caused by your changeable temperament"

Edward silently looked up at me his expression unreadable.

"Well I shall take it from your silence that you do not wish to attempt to continue our friendship. From this point on our relationship will be nothing but professional, I shall come to your room tomorrow afternoon to support you with your exercises." I made my way towards the door "Until then I shall wish you good night Lance Corporal" I spat at him before slamming the door behind me. I had used enough force for the sound of the door making contact with the frame to echo along the length of the corridor.

As I angrily stomped up the stairs I made myself a promise, from this moment one I was going to enjoy my life once more. Although I had more than likely lost Jasper my mind was quick to recall the old saying that it is better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all. I had wonderful friends that now included Emmett and a wonderful family and these were perfectly good reasons to be happy.

I woke the next morning to be confronted by a blanket of snow covering the grounds of the hospital when I opened the curtains. I smiled as I thought to myself that the gardens resembled the winter wonderland scenes so often painted upon Christmas cards. For the first time in over a week I joined Angela, Alice and Rose in the canteen for breakfast. I had missed our morning routine terribly and I basked in their company. I was still feeling a trifle wound up from my encounter with Edward last night, nonetheless I was determined to put the last week or so behind me. I reasoned that Jasper would not want me to be unhappy and as for Edward, I spitefully decided that he was unworthy of my concerns.

"So Rosalie" I raised my eye brows evocatively as I sipped at my hot cup of tea "Emmett Whitlock?" Rose blushed a deep red colour and began to giggle into her hands "Did he pay you a visit yesterday afternoon?"

"Yes he did actually" she said coyly

"Oh do tell" an excited Alice joined in on the conversation

"He gave me a Christmas present. I so desperately wish to know what is beneath the pretty gift wrap but I very foolishly promised not to open it until Christmas morning and..." she smiled as she bought her tea cup to her lips.

"And?" Alice was bouncing in her seat eager for Rose to finish her tale. Angela and I sat back and chuckled at her enthusiasm "Rose! Tell us"

"He asked me to accompany him out for an evening" she beamed "We are attending a dance together on Christmas Eve on the out skirts of town"

Simultaneously Alice, Angela and myself let out an excitable squeal which incited a round of hushes from nearby diners.

"Perhaps when Ben returns we could go dancing together?" the joy drained from Angela's face to be swiftly placed with a look of guilt.

"It is only natural that you wish to talk about Ben, please do not feel guilty on my behalf. When does Ben return home?"

"He has a few weeks of leave starting New Years Day"

"I am very happy for you and I look forward to seeing him once more"

The light hearted conversation continued on as Alice busied herself with the task of clearing up around us and hurrying us to finish our drinks. We were all well aware that she was longing to get outside and frolic in the snow and we were all guilty of purposely taking our time, enjoying watching Alice get increasingly flustered.

"How long can one cup of tea possibly last?" she asked impatiently whilst tapping her foot on the floor "The snow will have melted and summer will be here if you are all to continue at this pace"

Rose sniggered into her tea cup.

"Rosalie Hale!" Alice exclaimed removing the tea cup from Rose's hands, she repeated the action with the cups Angela and I had been busy nursing. Her facial expression was the most humorous thing I had seen in quite some time. "These are all empty and by the cold feel of the china they have been empty for some time. Remind me again why I call you three my friends?" she giggled and I was thankful that she had seen the funny side of our tomfoolery.

"I'm sorry" I managed to say between giggles

"We shall pop upstairs and retrieve our coats the come out and play with you Alice" Rose jested.

"I thought you would say that which is why I retrieved your coats earlier" she said proudly "We can collect them on our way to the gardens"

All traces of our usual maturity disappeared as soon as our winter boots made contact with the cold white powder on the ground outside. We were instantly transported back to our childhoods as we skipped and bounded around the garden, we screamed and squealed as we threw snowballs at each other. If I am honest I did a little more screaming than the others as my clumsy disposition allowed me to fall over a fair few times, resulting in plenty of laughs from my so called friends. Once we had exhausted ourselves with a rather energetic snowball fight we decided it was a jolly good idea to make a snowman. Once the snowman had a body we set about decorating him.

"What shall we use for his nose, we don't have a carrot?" Angela asked as she fixed the eyes in place.

As if it was an everyday occurrence and perfectly normal behaviour for one to pull a vegetable from one's pocket, Alice produced a large orange carrot from her coat.

"Here we go, one nose" Alice said as she proudly placed it on the snowman's face

We were all gathered around our creation perfecting our work when we were assaulted by a barrage of snowballs from behind. All four of us screamed as we turned around to see our attackers. Carlisle and Jacob were running towards us laughing, each equipped with an arm-full of snowy ammunition.

The four of us quickly scooped up the snow and began to launch our counter attack. Happy shrieks and the sounds of laughter filled the garden as we cavorted. Carlisle and Jake had taken up a defensive position behind a snow covered bench, firing snowballs and swiftly ducking back behind their defence. Jake decided to break cover and to chase me while bombarding me with snow. Whilst running I turned launching my last snowball, I jumped for joy when I saw my snowball was on target hitting Jake right between the eyes. I instantly regretted my jump when I promptly fell over and twisted my ankle. I lay on my back on the floor and despite the discomfort I felt I could not help but laugh, the look on Jake's face had been priceless as he wiped away the melting snow.

"Are you ok Nurse Swan?" Jake asked as he came running over

"Yes, but I have hurt my ankle a little" I managed to choke out in-between laughs.

"I'm glad you find injuring yourself so amusing" he chuckled "Do you think you can stand?"

"I'm not sure" I replied still laughing a little as I sat up and rubbed my ankle. I looked over at the fight still continuing nearby, Carlisle was putting up a jolly good effort but it was now three against one. Alice was very diplomatically offering him the chance to surrender but Carlisle insisted he would be triumphant.

Jake took me by surprise as all of a sudden he lifted me from the ground and draped me upside down over his muscular shoulder causing me to squeal. I silently thanked the lord that Jake had got a hold of my skirt and I was not showing the entire hospital my underwear.

"Let me down, Let me down" I screamed and laughed at the same time. I had not had this amount of fun for a long time, it felt unbelievably good to laugh. I would even go as far as to say that I was feeling drunk with fun and that the notion pleased me immensely.

"Now Now Nurse Swan I cannot have you walking on your ankle, at least not until it has been examined"

Jake turned and began to walk towards the hospital.

"Jacob Black you put me down this instant" I squawked as I pounded my fists on his back.

"What was that Nurse Swan? Quicker you say?"

I closed my eyes as he began to run, I screamed Jake's name and laughed uncontrollably until I heard a door being opened and I was placed upon something soft. I opened my eyes to see that I was on Edward's bed, an expressionless Edward sat before me while a chortling Esme gazed through the window. I chose not to acknowledge Edward as our relationship was now a professional one and my shift did not begin for another hour.

"Are you alright Nurse Swan?" she turned to address me. Her animosity towards me seemed to be a thing of the past her voice was now filled with concern "Edward and I have been watching the unfolding battle from the warmth. That was a rather impressive tumble you embarked upon out there"

"I have hurt my ankle but I shall survive. Has Carlisle defeated the girls yet?" I smiled

"He is very stubborn, it will be a while yet before he admits his defeat" she chuckled.

Before I knew it Jake had unlaced and removed my boot and was knelt on the floor examining my ankle.

"I had no idea you were medically trained Jake" I jested

"You mean to say you have not heard of world famous physician Jacob Black" we both laughed at his comment "I think you have sprained it. Where do you keep bandages?"

"We keep them in the medical room, but there is no chance they will grant you permission to enter. Only the nursing staff are allowed to enter"

"Well in that case you shall have to accompany me" still feeling a little drunk on fun I squealed once more as he scooped me up into his arms with ease. As he cradled me like a baby he handed me my boot and made his way toward the door. I chuckled out my goodbyes as we left Edward's room.

"Is this how all American physicians treat their patients" Jake nodded in response to my question "I rather like it, perhaps I should emigrate?"

After I had gathered the bandages my ankle required Jake carried me to the lounge and placed me on the same seat that I had listened to Edward's piano playing from. I held out my ankle and Jake began to bandage it for me.

"I hope you do not consider me rude to ask but I am curious about you. You are so very obviously American yet you wear the British uniform, why is this?"

"Has Edward not told you?" I shook my head "I was born on a Native American reservation near Seattle. When I was 14 my mother passed away and my father and I moved to London"

"I am terribly sorry to hear about your mother" I said with sympathy

"Thank you" he looked up at me and smiled "When I moved I attended the local school which is where I made Edward's acquaintance. We have been inseparable ever since, so it seemed only right that when he signed up that I should do the same" Jake stared at with an odd expression "If you do not mind me asking I am curious as to why you cringe when Edward's name is mentioned?"

"I was not aware I did" I answered honestly "Edward and I are experiencing some creative differences"

"He is a stubborn and cantankerous sod. He is also in possession of a wicked tongue at times, but he has a good heart"

"Is your father still in London?" I swiftly changed the subject.

"No he moved to Kent just before the war leaving me homeless of sorts. Which is why I often stay as a guest of the Cullen's, they have been very good to me over the years and I regard them as family"

"They appear to be very nice people, Carlisle makes me laugh"

"Carlisle is yet to grow up" he chuckled "You can replace you sock and your boot now Nurse Swan"

"Please call me Bella" I said as I did as he had instructed "I would like to offer you my thanks for today, not just for your exemplary medical skills but for making me laugh. It has been a long while since I have had so much fun"

"It has been my pleasure Bella, I'm hoping that there is a Christmas miracle and your ankle is healed for round two tomorrow" he joked

I hobbled my way out of the lounge and excused myself to get ready for my shift.

I stood at the entrance to the nurse's station; it felt very strange to be wearing my uniform once more. My friends welcomed me back with open arms. I was surprised to see very little had changed as we made plans for our shift. I had decided that where ever possible it was good practice for me to avoid Edward. With the exception of his exercise routine, Angela would be dealing with his needs.

I was kept occupied with dressing changes for the first half of my shift and I was deeply touched with the patients' genuine happiness at my return. My ankle was a little sore and I spent my time walking with a limp, chuckling to myself as I remember the circumstances of my injury. Through the eyes of an outsider I would have appeared quite mad.

We stopped briefly for dinner in the nurse's station and enjoyed a little chat, Rose's excitement regarding her date with Emmett was growing by the second and Angela was counting down the days until Ben's return.

I could procrastinate no longer, Edward needed to practice his exercises. As I knocked on the door I promised myself that I would be nothing but professional. I would not be nice, I would not be nasty and above all I would not rise to his bait and lose my temper with him.

"Good afternoon Lance Corporal" I smiled sweetly "I have come to support you with some new exercises"

"Good afternoon Bella"

"I would prefer it if you were to address me as Nurse Swan, after all I have the decency to address you correctly." he looked dreadfully put out by my remark. My cheerful demeanour was obviously causing him some level of aggravation, and feeling particularly spiteful I was enjoying it. "Now as you are aware I have had a little social leave recently, how have your standing exercises being going in light of my absence?"

"As well as can be expected" he said coldly

"It is nice to see you are full of festive cheer Lance Corporal" my voice was pleasant and happy yet my sarcasm was more than obvious. "If it you are agreeable I could support you to take a few steps today"

"That would be nice..." he looked up at me and forced a smile "...Nurse Swan" he spat out my name as if it was rancid food he had placed in his mouth by mistake.

I instructed him to take my hands and stand as we had done before my leave of absence.

"Now I wish for you to take one small step towards me please"

He unsteadily and slowly took a step towards me.

"Well done Lance Corporal, do you think you are able to repeat this and take one more step?"

His face lit up with a glorious smile as he took his second step. I felt nothing but joy and pride for him but I hid it well. We practiced two steps forward and two steps backwards in silence for a while until he admitted that his legs were aching terribly and he sat down. He had obviously found the exercise frightfully hard work as his exhaustion was apparent on his face.

"Well done Lance Corporal Cullen, I am pleased to say that you are still making excellent progress. If you are not otherwise engaged I shall return tomorrow to offer you some more assistance" intent on leaving I took a few steps towards the door.

"Nurse Swan" I turned to face him "I would like it very much if you were to call me Edward again" his voice was very sheepish and quieter than usual.

"I feel that that would not be very professional of me, only friends address each other by christian names Lance Corporal. You made it awfully clear that you wished for a professional relationship and I am doing my best to comply"

"What if I were to say that I was wrong and that I missed our friendship?" he asked quietly while looking down at the floor

"Then I would say that I would like nothing more than to be your friend, but I'm afraid I do not care for your obnoxious side"

"What would you say if I promised that I would be nothing but nice from now on?"

"I would more than likely say that that promise had been made to me once before and then broken"

"And if I was to apologise for my indiscretions and broken promises?" a slight smile was appearing on his face.

"Then I would assume I was dreaming"

"What would be your response if I were to say that I was pleased that you were dreaming of me?" his smile was becoming more apparent.

"I would say that you are a cruel man for revelling in the fact that you are the substance of my nightmares" I fought hard to hide my own smile now.

"And what if I were to get on my knees and beg for your companionship?" he wheeled himself a little closer to me

"Then I would scold you for being on your knees when it would no doubt hurt your legs" I paused "Oh for heaven's sake can we dispense with the what if's and just be friends again?"

"I would like nothing more" my favourite smile was on full display "I am truly sorry Nurse Swan"

"Bella" I scolded while pointing my index finger at him "I shall return tomorrow Edward" I smiled as I left.

**So finally they are friends again YAY!**

**What did you think of Marcy?**

**I have a rec for you today, I think you should all head over and read The Twilight Bride by AQuad, its awesome!**

**The more reviews I get the quicker I let Edward out of the cupboard**

**Magenta xx**


	28. Chapter 28

_**A special thanks to my awesome beta,**__**acacia6583, if you haven't read Consumed by fire then you really should!**_

_**I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.**_

_**Sorry I am late updating I'm having a tough time of it at the moment, but I think you will think it was worth the wait.**_

Edward.

I was unable to feel at ease or settle after my visit from Bella, I was dreadfully unsure why I had been so cruel to her when in fact all I wanted to do was take away her pain. If I had had full use of my legs there was no doubt in my mind that I would have been pacing the room by now. In the past when I had felt feelings similar to this I would often play the piano, sometimes for hours at a time. Time after time I would lose myself and my worries in the sweet-sounding notes I played, as I felt the gravity of the piano start to pull me I began to toy with the idea of making my way to the lounge. I hastily made up my mind that this would be a top class idea and departed from my room.

The lounge as usual was empty. I was starting to debate that I was in fact the only patient in the ward as I was yet to make anyone else's acquaintance, not that I was complaining I rather liked to keep myself to myself. I reasoned that they must indeed be other patients as the nursing staff were often very busy. I traced the cold ivory keys of the old piano with my finger tips before I began to play. Absorbed in the music I forgot my troubles and woes, instead my mind was filled with the dulcet tones of Mozart, Kirchner and as my mood improved the tempo of my music increased. I began to play a few pieces by Scott Joplin. As I played "Maple Leaf Rag" I was disturbed by a singing Alice and a very timid Nurse Hale who explained that they had both been enjoying a short break in the nurse's station and had over heard my jolly composition. I continued to play rag time music as they danced together and despite their obvious difference in height they danced rather gracefully with one another. Following their departure back to the ward I was left to enjoy my own company once more, I took advantage of my time alone and I continued to play late into the night. I began to feel a little fatigued and planned to make my way back to my room, as I turned around to establish the time from the clock that hung above the door I was surprised by the presence of Bella. Still in her mourning ensemble with her hat and shoes placed neatly on the floor next to her, she was sat quietly, curled up in an arm chair and appeared deep in thought.

"I'm terribly sorry Edward; I was seduced by the sounds of the music. I shall leave you in peace now"

"There is no need for you to leave Nurse Swan, I was about to retire to bed with a brandy" I ran my hand nervously through my hair not entirely certain of what, if anything, I should say to her. I hesitated a little before deciding upon "How was your evening?"

"Emotional" she chewed on her bottom lip as her gaze flitted between me and the wooden floor. She looked exhausted and emotionally drained, I fought very hard with myself not to pull her into my arms and comfort her. Instead, for reasons unknown I decided once again to be cold and uncompassionate towards her, suggesting that she should leave and make her way up to bed.

I watched as her face slowly flushed red with anger, her lips tightened and her eyebrows narrowed before she began to chide me about my fluctuating attitude. I could offer her no reply when she suggested that I did not want to carry on our friendship, part of me reasoned that although it would be so dreadfully difficult that it was perhaps the wisest decision to make. Her anger continued to bubble away as she took my silence as my answer, informing me that our relationship would be purely professional from this moment on. She wished me a pleasant night before she flounced from the room slamming the door behind her. Despite the fact that I was undoubtedly in the wrong to be treating her as I was I could not help but smile to myself a little, even though she was full of wrath she still had the decency to wish me a pleasant night. It was one of the things that made me love her so. I was hopeful that if I was to offer her my sincerest apologies when I saw her tomorrow she would grant me her forgiveness.

**xxx**

In the morning I was greeted by the sight of a thick blanket of snow covering the ground as far as the eye could see. After breakfast I watched my father and mother approaching with Jake following close behind them. I was thankful that the fancy dress costumes had been left at the hotel where they were saying and that today they wore sensible attire.

My mother had ever so kindly bought me a large box of homemade mince pies from the local bakery. They undoubtedly would not last long as I planned to offer around the ones I was unable to eat myself. I rolled my eyes at her when she handed me yet more presents. I added them to my ever increasing pile in the corner of my room.

"There is no need to roll your eyes at me young man, Christmas only comes once a year and correct me if I am wrong but is it not my right as your mother to spoil you?"

"I'm sorry Mother, it's just that you have bought rather a lot, don't you think?"

"Edward, it is Christmas! It is a time for giving and receiving" she smiled as she hinted that she was eager to see what I had bought for her. My mother liked receiving gifts almost as much as she liked to give them.

"I'm afraid now that I am bound to this awful chair unable to visit the shops that I shall only be receiving the gifts this year" I put on a terribly sad face as I fought back a smile. My mother's expression dropped, she was doing her best to hide her disappointment "You are frightfully gullible Mother. As if I would not buy you a gift at Christmas." Her smile returned once more "Alice has kindly offered to retrieve my gifts for me this year, I have given her a list so you shall have your gifts before you leave" I laughed.

The four of us were deep in conversation about something inconsequential when we were disturbed by the sounds of high pitched squealing and giggling emanating from the garden.

"Are there young children visiting the hospital today?" My father asked before standing up and making his way to the French doors to attain an improved view of the situation. As he stood there he began to chuckle.

"What is so funny Mr C?" Jake asked inquisitively.

"It appears there are four young girls frolicking in the snow, I believe them to be Nurse Hale, Nurse Brandon, Nurse Webber and Nurse Swan" the screams of delight continued as did my father's observations of them.

I made my way over to the doors to see the scene for myself. Indeed it was the four nurses cavorting and entertaining themselves in the snow. My eyes were immediately drawn to the sight of Bella, throwing snowballs and dashing across the snowfall to avoid return fire, she appeared carefree and happy. The sight of her smiling and laughing tore me in two. Half of me was elated at the sight of her appearing so joyous, after all in light of recent events it had been a good while since she had allowed herself some enjoyment and her smile was definitely a thing of beauty. My other half felt nothing but bitterness and anger, she had lied and upset me deeply yet here she was fooling around and romping in the garden with her friends. Had she spared not one thought for my feelings?

"Jacob, how would you like to partake in a little silliness?"

"When have I ever declined an opportunity to be silly?" he chuckled. Jake was correct in his statement, not once in all the years that I had known him had he ever turned down the chance to mess around. Just like my father, Jacob would always be a child at heart.

My father and Jake we deeply involved in a whispered conversation, as my mother and I watched the nurses begin the process of snowman making. They were busy adding the final touches to what was a rather impressively sized snowman when my father and Jake silently made their way out into the grounds. I watched as they gathered an abundance of snowballs and stealthy ran towards the girls firing their ammunition. The girls screamed and turned to face their attackers sporadically firing back snowballs, my mother laughed hysterically as the battle progressed. The men took cover behind a bench only breaking cover to fire a well aimed snowball; I could not help but laugh when my father was hit in the face by Alice's missile.

"This is a jolly good show Edward, if I had not worn heels today I would venture outside and join them. Although I do not think your father would be happy when he saw my allegiances lied with the girls and not with him" she chuckled.

Feeling more than a little covetous of the fun that I was unable to partake in I offered her no reply other than a smile.

"Jealousy is not a particularly endearing quality my dear, but on this occasion I can sympathise with your plight. Sooner rather than later you will be out of that chair I can promise you that son" she placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

Jacob broke free of his protective shelter and began to chase Bella. I smiled when her snowball hit Jake between his eyes but my smile quickly disappeared when I saw her fall clumsily to the ground. She lay on her back making no attempt to move as Jacob ran over to her. Jacob looked concerned; he swiftly took hold of her then hoisted her over his shoulder. My panic was overwhelming, Bella was hurt, my heart raced and my breathing sped, my Bella was hurt. I readied myself to open the door and go out to her, I was well aware that my wheelchair would not do well on the snow, in fact it would be useless, but to get to her I would happily crawl along the cold snowy ground. As Jake began to make his way towards the building I could hear Bella scream, which did nothing to alleviate my alarm. She began to pound her fists against Jacob's back and he began to increase his pace to a run, seemingly eager to get her inside the hospital. My lungs began to feel as if they were about the burst through my chest as I contemplated just how seriously injured she was. It was only when they got closer that I realised her screams were not of pain but of joy, both Jacob and Bella wore huge smiles on their faces as Jacob opened my door. He walked into the room with Bella hung upside down over his shoulder squealing like an excited little girl and carefully placed her on the bed.

She did not acknowledge me as she spoke to my mother and Jacob attended to her ankle. I watched as she jested with Jake and smiled warmly at his humour. The feeling of uncontrollable jealousy took a strong hold of me, I was jealous of her care free attitude around Jake, the way she smiled at him, the way she teased him and her playful demeanour whilst in his presence. I was jealous of the way he could carry her and touch her bare skin as he handled her ankle. I was jealous of the way he was able to bring her happiness when all I had bought her was woe. To the outsider it would appear that Jacob was rather fond of Bella however I had no reason to feel threatened by Jacob I had known him to long not to recognise when he was smitten with a girl. Jacob was naturally a friendly and welcoming chap, it is not a very masculine thing to say but Jacob was a very lovable person and he had a lot of love to give. Yet when he was smitten with a girl he would become awfully reserved and sheepish, often he would get so incredibly nervous that he would lose the ability to speak coherently. My jealousy of Jacob was absurd and senseless but more importantly I had no right to feel so possessive of Bella when she was not mine. He gently scooped Bella into his arms as if she was a small child and carried her from the room in search of bandages.

My mother looked at me with an expression of worry and concern.

"I have no desire to talk about it Mother" I snapped and she quietly resumed her vigil of the garden.

Shortly after Jake had left my father re-entered my room, he was looking very cold and more than a little damp from the melting snow.

"Were you triumphant my dear?" my mother asked.

"Triumphant of sorts, we had to sign a peace deal otherwise the nurses would have been late for their shift. Considering it was three against one I put up a damned good fight. What has happened to my second in command? He deserted me in the heat of the battle"

My father listened and expressed his concerns as the tale Bella's tumble was explained to him. Shortly after Jacob returned Mother decided it was time to depart before her two damp boys caught their death from the cold. I wished them a safe journey as they left. I had not been alone for long when Nurse Webber delivered me a cup of tea.

"Please do not be angry with me Lance Corporal, but as you are aware I am good friends with both Nurse Swan and Nurse Brandon and I am unable to stand here and pretend that I do not know what has occurred over recent days"

"I admire your honesty Nurse Webber" I sipped at my tea.

"I am going to be perfectly honest with you now. when you first arrived here I thought you nothing but a nasty and arrogant man, but it gives me great pleasure to say you have proved me wrong" she smiled at me "You have captured the hearts of both Nurse Brandon and Nurse Swan, although we do not share as close as relationship it does not mean I do not care. In a roundabout way what I am trying to say is that I wish to know how you are."

"Thank you, your words and your concerns mean a lot. I am coping as well as can be expected"

"Although you have every right to be I hope that you are not too angry towards Bella. What she did was dreadfully wrong but she is aware of that fact and is constantly punishing herself for her wrong doing. She is very muddled at the moment"

I smiled at her once more grateful for her consideration but unwilling to enter an emotional heart to heart with a girl I hardly knew.

"It was mentioned to me the other day that when I had had a little to drink that I had spent some time in your company"

I could not help but laugh at the memory of our encounter.

"Yes you did, but you were a very likable and amusing drunk." I chuckled

"I am ashamed to say I did not remember our meeting at first but now that I do" her cheeks blushed a bright shade of red as she grinned shyly "I would be greatly appreciative if you did not mention any thing to Nurse Swan. Alcohol led me to betray her confidence and that is something I am not at all proud of."

"You have my word that I shall say nothing"

"Thank you Lance Corporal. However now that I can remember what I said to you, I do not wish to take any of it back. I spoke nothing but the truth. Give her your forgiveness for her wrong doings and be patient whilst she works through her guilt and grief" she smiled at me before she turned and left my room.

I was not at all sure that Nurse Webber's advice was worth taking heed of as Bella had decided that our relationship should be based upon professionalism not upon friendship.

Not long after Nurse Webber had left me the familiar knock of Bella sounded at my door.

She smiled sweetly as she greeted me, it did not go unnoticed that she had addressed me as Lance Corporal instead of Edward. I became a little wound up when she ever so politely scolded me for addressing her as Bella. She insisted on being addressed as Nurse Swan and reminded me once more of the boundaries of a professional relationship. It became apparent that her cheerful attitude was one not dissimilar to the one she had exhibited when I first met her and foully berated her for jettisoning the contents of her tray of equipment over my floor. As it did on that occasion her smug demeanour was causing me severe agitation and I spat "Nurse Swan" as I replied to her sarcastic remark.

As I placed my hands in hers, she helped me to take a few steps towards her and then back towards my chair. Although dreadfully unsteady and in a mild amount of discomfort the process of taking these steps was very liberating indeed. A proud smile spread across my face, I was a little disappointed to see my smile was not reflected in Nurse Swan as it had been in the past when I had progressed a little. Her face remained expressionless bordering on uninterested as if this was an everyday occurrence that meant very little to her. We continued to practice in silence until I could perform no more and I retook my seat in the wheelchair.

As she made her way to leave with promises of more practice tomorrow I decided it was best that I apologised to her.

"Nurse Swan, I would like it very much if you were to call me Edward again"

Once again I was reminded that it would be unprofessional for us to address each other as if we were companions, Isabella Swan was nothing if not stubborn.

"What if I were to say that I was wrong and that I missed our friendship?" I directed my gaze at the floor afraid of what her response might be.

"Then I would say that I would like nothing more than to be your friend, but I'm afraid I do not care for your obnoxious side" he voice was very stern as she spoke.

"What would you say if I promised that I would be nothing but nice from now on?"

"I would more than likely say that that promise had been made to me once before and then broken"

Knowing Nurse Swan as well as I did I was more than a little certain that she was about to accept my apology, if she was not about to then her temper would have caused her tongue to lash out or her legs to walk her from the room.

"And if I was to apologise for my indiscretions and broken promises?" I smiled a little at the thought that we would soon be friends once more.

"Then I would assume I was dreaming"

"What would be your response if I were to say that I was pleased that you were dreaming of me?" my smile grew bigger at my teasing and I watched intently as Bella fought her hardest to stop the smile appearing at the corners of her mouth.

"I would say that you are a cruel man for revelling in the fact that you are the substance of my nightmares" she was losing her battle and the faint outlines of a smile began to appear.

"And what if I were to get on my knees and beg for your companionship?" I raised my eyebrows as I questioned

"Then I would scold you for being on your knees when it would no doubt hurt your legs" she paused and her beautiful smile was now on full display "Oh for heaven's sake can we dispense with the what if's and just be friends again?"

I smiled and replied and Bella left me for the evening.

The next few days passed without any complications. After countless apologies from Bella our companionship was once again flowing smoothly. Although I wished for much more than friendship from her I revelled in her company. It felt like an eternity since I had basked in the light of my warm and lively sun but now she had returned to me it seemed as if I could not get enough of her brilliant glow. We practiced my exercises daily, no longer was there an awkward silence instead laughter and lively banter passed between us. Bella spent some time with my family, Jake and I on a few occasions, my mother was ecstatic that we were on good terms once more. Alice was growing more excitable as Christmas got closer, if she was not singing beautiful seasonal music it was because a mince pie was filling her mouth and preventing melodious words escape. It was quite an amazing feat that she managed to remain slim in her figure taking into account the vast amount of pies she consumed. I had received an apology from Nurse Hale regarding her behaviour outside Bella's room. I took into account and fully understood her need to protect her friend and to a degree I accepted her apology, however offering her my forgiveness did not mean that I had to be partial to her as a person.

All too soon it was Christmas Eve. Earlier in the day Bella and Alice had wished my family and friend good bye, both of them eager for Jake to return as soon as possible. Over the past four days they had developed quite the friendship and Alice especially rejoiced in his light-heartedness and his downright silliness. I could not blame them as I would be very sorry to see him leave. Once the nurses had returned to their shift I presented my mother, my father and Jacob with their beautifully wrapped and decorated gifts. I had already given my thanks to Alice for her wonderful decorative skills. I wished my visitors fond farewells as they left my room.

A little later a very peeved and flustered looking Bella arrived to help me with my exercises.

"Are you ok Bella?"

"Yes" she announced with a huff. I raised my eyebrow at her as an indication that I knew she was lying. "No actually I'm not, you see I have this problem. Nurse Hale is attending a dance tonight with Pilot Whitlock and Alice and Nurse Webber are attending an entirely different dance. Alice wishes for me to attend with them but in the light of what has happened recently with Jasper I really do not feel like going out and celebrating"

There he was again, Jasper, the constant thorn in my side. The man I had never met yet despised so thoroughly.

"And that is a problem why?" I smiled

"Because Nurse Webber is insisting that nobody should be alone on Christmas Eve. In fact she is saying that she will not go if I am to be left alone to celebrate it alone. But I do not want to go and I will not go" I laughed as she stomped her foot on the ground not dissimilarly to a small child in the throes of a temper tantrum "Edward Cullen this is no laughing matter this is peer pressure of the worst kind"

"I am terribly sorry but your mannerisms are quite humorous. Can you not feign illness at the last moment?" I asked still chuckling

"I have thought of that already but you see I am a terrible actress and they would see through my lies. Alice suggested that I should ask you to entertain me for the evening, but I thought it terribly rude and imposing. Perhaps I should run away for the evening or hide in my wardrobe... no that is no good they would look in my wardrobe" she folded her arms and huffed in defeat.

"Perhaps you should hide under the bed?" I jested

"I do not think I would fit underneath there" she said seriously "but thank you for your suggestion"

"Sometimes you are so dreadfully nonsensical. I would like nothing more than your company tonight. If you were not to spend time with me then I would be alone, surely Nurse Webber would not approve of that?"

"Are you sure?"

"Would I have offered if I was not sure?" she giggled a little and began to plan our evening.

"I shall bring some sherry down with me, after all I do not have to get up for work tomorrow so it does not matter if we celebrate late into the night." She said excitedly "We could play charades and other games too"

As her imagination went into over drive we practiced my exercises.

**xxx**

"I hear from a reliable source that you are spending your evening with Nurse Swan tonight Edward?" Alice smiled shiftily.

She had paid me a visit on her way out to the dance she was attending. She appeared stunning in her knee length green dress with matching shoes carrying a thick dark fur coat.

"You have heard correctly, although as you suggested it to Bella I have no idea why you have had to hear it from your source"

"Would you rather I had not suggested it?" she asked cockily

"Not at all, in fact I am most grateful for your interference"

"What are friends for if not a little match making?" she giggled her shoes clipped the floor as she walked towards me "It is time for me to leave now, but I wish for you to bear in mind that Christmas is a time for happiness and joy." She planted a soft kiss on my cheeks and wished me a Merry Christmas before departing with promises to return tomorrow.

Soon after Alice's departure Bella arrived armed with a large bottle of sherry and a large paper bag. My heart skipped a beat as she entered my room wearing the flattering red polka dot dress that I remembered so well from our first encounter, her hair was pinned up and decorated with a little red tinsel. Around her neck she wore a silver locket that rested just above the top of her bosom.

"Isabella you look ravishing" I complimented once I had caught my breath

"Well, I thought I would make an effort, it is Christmas after all" she blushed as she spoke. It was only when she walked over to the chair that I noticed she was not wearing any shoes.

"Were you in a hurry when you left your room?" I asked while stifling a giggle "It is just that it seems your splendid outfit is a little incomplete" she looked at me with obvious confusion and I eye pointed to her bare feet.

"Oh you mean my shoes. Do you have any idea of how uncomfortable high heels can be?" she flexed one of her dainty feet "I decided it was for the best to leave them upstairs in the wardrobe" she chuckled.

The evening proved to be lots of fun as the sherry flowed and the games began. As the clock struck twelve a slightly intoxicated Bella squealed and closed the short distance between us. She pulled me into a tight embrace and wished me a Merry Christmas. Once she had relinquished her hold of me she handed over the large brown bag that she had been rather protective of throughout the evening.

"This is for you Edward" I peered inside the bag to see a few parcels wrapped neatly in brown paper decorated with a variety of different coloured ribbon. "I bought them the other day in town, partly as Christmas presents and partly as a way to express my sorrow at the awful way I treated you. Please go ahead and open them"

I carefully peeled back the paper of the first box to reveal a bottle of single malt whiskey

"I thought it only right that I replace what I have drunk" she smiled and I thanked her. The next present was rectangular in shape and weighed a considerable amount, as I began to unwrap it Bella began to fidget excitedly in her seat. I gazed at the book I had uncovered with sheer amazement. It was a leather bound first edition copy of the complete poetic works of Rupert Brooke.

"Bella you shouldn't have!" I adored the fact she had been so thoughtful. This was not an easy commodity to get ones hands on and she had obviously gone out of her way to retrieve me this gift.

Her excited expression swiftly disappeared.

"You do not like it? I thought you liked poetry and after all Rupert Brooke is an excellent poet, even I enjoy his verse"

"Isabella, I adore it. It is one of the most thoughtful gifts I have ever received. Nonetheless you should not have bought it, it surely has cost you a small fortune? I do not deserve this."

"It gives me nothing but pleasure to spend my money on the people I love, so please accept it"

The last present I unwrapped was two tickets to a piano concert. The concert was dated at the end of February.

"The venue is nearby; down by the river I am rather hopeful that by then you and your companion will be able to walk the distance to the music hall"

I thanked Bella, not only for her kindness and the thoughtfulness of her gifts but for her optimism regarding my progress. I made my way over to my wardrobe and found the present that I had instructed Alice to collect for me.

"I have also a gift for you" I handed her the long thin box that Alice had wrapped and decorated with a fabric rose "I am unable to take any credit for its presentation that is Alice's craftsmanship"

"Edward, I am truly grateful but I am unable to accept this. In light of recent events I really do think I am undeserving"

"Nonsense, we have put the past few days behind us have we not? It would make me a happy man if you were to accept this" with the sherry bottle drained of its ruby contents I poured us each a glass of port. I watched as Bella carefully removed the paper and opened the box.

She gasped as she removed the necklace from the cushion it had been laid upon.

I had chosen the necklace myself from a few photographs that Alice had provided me with, courtesy of the local antique dealer. It was a simple yet beautiful Victorian design. From the delicate chain hung a white gold charm, it was the outline of a heart. Running through the middle of the heart three small diamonds were set.

"Oh Edward it is so..." lost in thought she stared at the gift. Her gazed fixed upon the heart shaped charm as the diamonds flickered in the light. "...wonderfully pretty. This is too much for me to accept though"

"Isabella" her name rolled around my tongue as I internally debated whether she would want to hear what I was about to say "although not in the way I had wished to, I have made it perfectly clear that my heart belongs to you and I would like nothing more than for you accept it"

"But, you have spent so much money and I..."

"I am aware that your feelings differ from mine and I will fully understand if you do not wish to wear it, but please accept it all the same"

"You have a kind heart filled with compassion and love I would be honoured to wear it" she wiped a tear away from her eye then removed the silver locket and fastened the new necklace at the back of her neck.

"Why are you crying?"

"Because the necklace is utterly beautiful and you have been so very thoughtful" she sniffed "because you have yet again given me your heart despite the fact that I cruelly squashed it before"

"Please do not be upset. I understand that you do not share my feelings and that your heart belongs to another. As long as I have your friendship there is a point to my life, I am happy to be second best"

"But that's just it you see, you have never been second best." She spoke quietly "From the moment I met you, you stole my heart. I tried so very hard to give my heart to Jasper but I could not as you still held it firmly in your hands. I really did try my hardest to give my all to him and now I miss him terribly"

"You have been drinking; you know not of what you speak Miss Swan I..."

"I may have had a drink but I am fully aware of what I am saying" she interrupted "I should have said this an awful long time ago, but I was dreadfully afraid of what people would say. If loosing Jasper has taught my anything it is that life is very fragile and can be very short. What I am trying to say is that I love you" she smiled.

"You love me?" I questioned unable to stop the enormous grin from spreading across my face, my heart swelled with pride and threatened to implode upon itself. I wanted nothing more than to lean forward and take hold of this beautiful girl and never release her from my grasp.

"Yes, I rather think that I do" my smile was mirrored across her face. I took her hand in mine and leant across to kiss her, it caused me great hurt to see her yet again back away from my advances.

"I am sorry Edward I do not wish to cause you further anguish however I would like to discuss where this leaves us?" she retook my hand in hers.

"I'm afraid you have confused me?" I could feel the feeling of panic coming over me. She had just informed me that she loved me surely this left us nowhere but as a couple? She could not confess her love and then leave me could she? "You have just told me that you share my feelings have you not?" the panic in my voice was a little more apparent than I had intended it to be.

"Yes I have Edward and I do not intend to take back my words" I breathed a small silent sigh of relief "I would very much like it if we could take things slow, after all I am in a confusing place at the moment. Please do not think me a bad person when I say this but Private Cheney is set to return next week, he was Jasper's best friend. I do not wish him to think I have moved on and that I felt nothing at all for Jasper, because I did. I loved him in my own special way it just so happened that it could never be as much as I loved you"

"I understand your concerns Bella but what are you asking for?"

"I am asking if we could remain close friends for now, just for a short while. I wish for us to tell no one of what has occurred here tonight. Could you tolerate that?" she spoke nervously and chewed her bottom lip while she waited for my answer.

"Isabella Swan" I placed my other hand on top of hers and squeezed gently "I would wait a life time for you, a few weeks is nothing"

"Thank you" she smiled and removed her hands from mind to position a few loose strands of hair behind her ears.

"Would it be acceptable if I were to hold you? Just an embrace nothing more"

"Most acceptable" she chuckled as she leant forward into my extended arms "You have not the slightest idea of how long I have wanted to be here"

Although I had held Bella in my arms before, the feeling was nothing compared to this. Holding her in the knowledge that my affections were returned was an incredibly marvellous feeling. It felt wonderfully natural; she fitted in my arms perfectly as if she belonged there.

"I think I have rather a good idea actually" I chuckled as I rested my cheek on the top of her head.

**xxx**

I awoke on Christmas morning still wearing the hugest of smiles; I had found myself unable to stop after the previous evening. It would not be at all surprising if I were to have smiled during the entirety of my slumber. Nothing I did to rid myself of the grin worked, if I am honest it did not cause me much bother as last night Bella had told me I was very handsome when I smiled.

After I had put on my uniform and readied myself for the day I began to peel of the paper of the abundance of presents my mother and father had bestowed upon me. New clothes, a bottle of brandy and a few books were amongst some of the packages I unwrapped. To be truthful my heart was not in it, I was busy watching the clock. Bella had agreed to dinner with her parents at their house. She had promised me a visit when she returned at around four this afternoon, possibly sooner if she could eat her Christmas dinner quicker without suffering from indigestion. Time seemed to be moving in slow motion as there was still five hours before she would return. Needless to say I was very restless, occasionally I would flick through the poetry book she had kindly bought for me but more often than not I would be looking at my watch.

Around midday I was graced with a pleasant interruption by the name of Alice. She had bought with her two dinners upon a tray. After she had excitedly sang "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" for what felt like the twentieth time we ate together.

"Was your evening pleasant" Alice asked as a cheeky smile spread across her face and she lifted her eyebrows.

"It was very pleasant indeed, thank you for asking. And yours? How did the dance go?"

"It was very enjoyable, but there was no kiss underneath the mistletoe for me" she pouted, causing me to giggle a little "You are unbelievably cruel, if I were more sensitive your laughter would have hurt my feelings" she jested

"I'm terribly sorry, please please please forgive me" my reply was overly dramatic as I placed my hands together in the praying position.

"You are forgiven" she gave me a serious yet peculiar stare for quite some time, it was as if she was waiting for me to say something of great importance "Well? Do I have to beat it out of you? Because I will and you are well aware that I will!"

I narrowed my eyes through utter confusion.

"For an intelligent man you are frightfully stupid. You and Nurse Swan? Is there anything I need to be made aware of?"

"We are friends Alice, good friends"

"Lance Corporal Cullen, the grin that appears to be fixed upon your face tells me there is something more"

"You do not like my smile? I think it is rather fetching."

"I cannot argue that fact, it is indeed very pretty and a shame you do not display it more often. However I am aware you are trying to distract me and I would like it to be known that Alice Brandon is not easily distracted. Now please tell me everything"

"Would you like your Christmas present?" her eyes lit up brightly at the mention of the word present.

"Oh Edward, you got me a present? But I did your shopping for you my name was not on the list. What is it? Is it big or small? Is it clothes or jewellery? Is it chocolate? You know how partial I am to chocolate" she hardly drew breath as she fired off her questions impatiently. I enjoyed Alice immensely when she was over enthusiastic about things.

"I thought you were difficult to distract?" I chuckled as I reached behind me to retrieve Alice's gifts.

"When there are no presents involved I am terribly hard to distract, but the prospect of gifts alters my priorities somewhat"

I handed her a moderately sized red cardboard box I laid my hand over the lid preventing her from opening it.

"My mother collected these for you, but it was the same as the list I gave to you meaning I have chosen the presents"

"Can I open it now please? Please Edward. You are torturing me" I slowly removed my hand extending her torture a little longer and Alice quickly tore of the lid to reveal her gifts. The first item she pulled out of the box was the biggest box of chocolates my rations would stretch to, which was not very big at all.

"Thank you Edward!" she exclaimed her voice a little muffled due to the fact one of the chocolates was already in her mouth. After she had eagerly devoured it she reached into the box once more and pulled out a long pair of black cotton gloves. "These are wonderful, you have quite the eye for fashion" finally she pulled out a dark wooden photo frame.

"I thought you could frame a photograph of Demetri or perhaps someone else whom you hold dear"

"Thank you so much Edward, these are truly wonderful and very thoughtful presents." She quickly embraced me before sitting back in her seat "This must be at least two months chocolate rations" she said happily whilst popping another one into her mouth.

"I too have bought you a gift, although I have only gotten you the one present" she reached into the pocket of her skirt and pulled out a little black box, the type that usually houses a ring. She held it out for me in her open palm.

"Alice, I will confess that I have a very strong fondness for you but sadly it is not enough to marry you" I jested causing Alice to playfully slap my arm with her free hand.

"Stop being so daft and open it"

I did as uninstructed and lifted the lid to find a pair of silver cufflinks each one engraved with the letters E A C in fancy script.

"Alice they are perfect, thank you very much" I took one out of the box to examine more closely "One question though, how did you come to know my middle initial?" I asked curiously

"Your Mother told me" she smiled proudly.

We continued to chat for a good while and Alice took great pleasure in helping me to discover the contents of the rest of my presents. Alice kindly took the wrapping paper with her when she left.

I was tapping my fingers impatiently against the arm of my chair when a familiar knock sounded at my door. Bella was half an hour early and I was delighted. She was wearing the biggest fur lined coat I had ever seen, the large hood was pulled over head leaving only her eyes were visible.

"Merry Christmas Edward" she said as she removed the hood and revealed a large smile.

"Merry Christmas to you too sweetheart" Bella began to blush and giggle "What is so funny?"

"Nothing, it is just going to take me some time to get used to you calling me sweetheart. It does peculiar things to my insides" she moved closer to me and sat down in the chair opposite me "Oh Edward was has happened here?" she looked towards the pile of gifts that I had messily placed upon the bed "It appears the war is a lot closer than I was originally led to believe and that a bomb has hit your room" she scolded.

As she tidied I noticed that her engagement ring was no longer decorating her finger the sight caused me to swell with happiness. I decided it was for the best not to mention it as it had the potential to cause Bella upset.

We conversed happily about the events of our time spent separately; she even went as far as to call me melodramatic when I likened my time away from her as similar to having half of my heart torn from my chest. When I protested about her accusation she relented and decided that it was very sweet and admitted that she had not felt dissimilar herself. She appeared very satisfied with herself once she had tidied away my new belongings and took the seat opposite me once again. We sat together for a good few hours, never touching as we kept up the pretence to anyone who cared to look that we were nothing more than close friends.

"I'm afraid to say that I must leave now, in order not to arouse suspicions I must spend what little of the day is left upstairs with my friends"

I nodded sadly.

"Please do not be sad Edward. It will not be long until morning and then I shall return"

I took her hand as she began to walk passed me. I gave it a gentle squeeze before bringing it to my lips and kissing it softly.

"I love you Isabella Swan and I trust that you will return to me swiftly"

"It is no longer a secret that I love you too. Rest assured that I will hurry back to you, if I was to have my way I would never leave"

**xxx**

Over the next few days I spent a good deal of time basking in the light of my sun. We spent far more time than was necessary practicing my walking skills just so as we could spend time together. I tried my hardest to act as if we were nothing more than friends and did my best to hide my feelings from the people around me. To say it was difficult was a gross understatement; I wished to shout it from the roof tops. Whenever I was in her presence I battled against the wishes of my hands and my lips to be all over her body. Last night we had surreptitiously held hands as we celebrated the arrival of a new year together, at midnight I was surprised by the quick kiss Bella had planted on my cheek and whispered that she loved me. I turned to see her smiling shyly; her cheeks were burning a bright shade of crimson as I returned the gentle kiss. I had then whispered in her ear that 1941 would be our year, the start of a new life together.

I was a little disappointed that it was Nurse Webber who had arrived at my room this morning with my breakfast as I had rather hoped that it would be my beautiful girl. Despite my disappointment I liked Nurse Webber, she was a good soul and we wished each other a happy new year before she left me to prepare for the day ahead.

Shortly after ten I heard the knock at the door that I had been anticipating all morning and all night if I am to be truthful. Undeterred by the late night my girl looked radiant as ever as she greeted me. Seemingly still not used to my affections her cheeks flushed my favourite hue and she became a little bashful as I replied "Good morning to you too, beautiful"

As I gazed in to her deep molten chocolate eyes she clarified that in light of my recent progress she would like me to try to walk the width of my room with her.

"Beautiful, I would be honoured to walk anywhere with you" I smirked as I watched her blush once more.

She instructed me to stand using my table for balance as she quickly moved my wheelchair to my planned destination. I held Bella's hands as she stood in front of me and began my unsteady journey across my room. Bella praised and encouraged me at every opportunity, her delighted facial expressions showing me just how proud of me she was. I was almost within touching distance of the wall when I became dreadfully unsteady and I lost my balance. I let go of Bella's hands and closed my eyes as I prepared myself to tumble to my knees, I was fully aware of the fact that the contact with the floor would be more than a little painful. As I stretched out my hands in search of something to steady myself upon my hands made contact with the wall. My hands were now flat against the plaster and as I was safe and no longer in danger of falling I opened my eyes once more. In-between my hands was a very relieved looking Bella, saying nothing she gazed up at me through her long eye lashes. I could feel her warm breath against my neck and I could smell her sweet perfume. I was unable to control myself as I moved my body closer to hers and I lowered my mouth to her ear.

"Miss Swan you truly are irresistible" I heard her gasp as I whispered the words to her.

I moved my face closer to hers so that our noses were touching, I could hear the sounds of her accelerated breathing as I gently ran my tongue over her bottom lip. I repeated the action once more causing a shudder of pleasure to pulse through her body

"You taste heavenly Miss Swan" I breathed into her ear once more "Would it be acceptable for me to kiss you?" I moved my lips sensuously down her neck towards her collar bone. Her breathing accelerated once more as she nodded her head. A seductive moan escaped her lips as I trailed kisses across her collar bone making my way towards her lips. I placed my lips gently upon hers as she ran her fingers tenderly across my cheek. My breathing went wild as she whispered my name in-between kisses. All too soon our burning passion was extinguished by a knock on the door, I reluctantly diverted my attention from Bella and watched the door as it opened.

"Oh, I am frightfully sorry. I... erm... well... I'll call back later" Alice quickly shut the door but not quickly enough for me to see her smile.

"I am sorry Bella, I was being inappropriate whilst you are duty" my legs were aching so I decided to take a seat in my wheelchair once more. "It is so dreadfully hard to keep my hands off of you when you look so damned ravishing in your uniform"

"I quite enjoyed your improper behaviour" she smiled sheepishly as she caught her breath "Alice is a good friend I am certain she will not betray my confidence"

"Do you have a coat with you?"

"What a peculiar question. I have one hanging in the nurse's station, why?"

"Would you care to take your first stroll of the New Year with me? It has been a while since I have been outside and after our recent excitement I think I would like to cool down a little" She hurried off to fetch her coat as I pulled mine from the wardrobe.

It was wonderfully sunny in the garden yet still quite cold, after a little walk around she decided to take rest on a bench for a little while. I transferred myself from my chair to sit on the bench next to her reasoning that it was a jolly decent thing to do. As we sat together she placed her hands flat on the bench either side of her and began to playfully swing her legs back and forth. I placed my hand next to hers and she gave me a smile as our little fingers touched. We sat in a state of happy and comfortable silence often gazing at each other and smiling.

"Isabella" a gentleman's voice broke our silence as Bella reached over and touched my arm affectionately.

I watched as Bella's head quickly turned looked towards the source of the voice. I watched as a huge smile spread across her face as she stood and urgently ran towards the uniformed man.

**You like?**

**Who is the uniformed man?**

**Please leave me a review and let me know, as I said I'm having a tough time of things at the moment so I'm relying on your reviews to cheer me up!**

**For my h00rs on facebook in the angel of war album you will find a photo of the necklace Edward gave to Bella.**

**Magenta xx**


	29. Chapter 29

_**Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed the last update, you made me feel a lot better!**_

_**A special thanks to my awesome beta,**__**acacia6583, if you haven't read her two stories then you really should.**_

_**Bella is not going to introduce the uniformed stranger to you all!**_

Bella 

Edward was sat upon the edge his bed when he called me over to him. As always he was looking devilishly handsome, his tousled bronze hair was catching the sunlight that poured in through his window. His emerald eyes were bright and sparkling and emanating nothing but joy. His beauty was only added to by his army uniform, it fitted him perfectly, emphasising his wondrously chiselled chest and muscled arms. He was beautiful and he was mine. I sauntered over to him closing the short distance between us. Once I was in reach of his arms he extended them enabling him to take a firm hold of my waist and pull me affectionately towards him. As I stood between his legs, I could do nothing to stop the squeal of delight that escaped my lips.

"Miss Swan you truly are irresistible, I am experiencing great difficulty in keeping my hands off you. These difficulties seem only to intensify when you are looking exceedingly ravishing in your uniform" he looked up at me as he spoke his eyes now full of lust and his lips curled into a playful grin.

He gently guided me to sit down next to him and began to tenderly stroke the length of my jaw with his thumb.

"I think I may be the luckiest man alive" he said breathlessly before placing his lips on mine. I could feel my face flush red with excitement and anticipation.

His gentle kisses caused the feeling of a thousand or so butterflies to flutter violently in my stomach. I ran my hand through his hair as we fell backwards on to the bed. Now lying side by side the delicate and tender kissing became more passionate, hungry and needy. Our tongues danced the tango together as Edward's hand began stroking the length of my thigh. His touch was causing my body to react in ways I had never experienced before, lost in the moment of pleasure I began to unbutton his shirt to reveal his perfectly sculpted chest. I traced the contours of his muscles with the tips of my fingers. The feel of my hand on his naked skin was nothing short of amazing. He moaned with pleasure as my hand explored the skin just below his navel. He moved his lips from mine and instead concentrated his kisses on my neck. I could hear nothing but his excited pants of breath in my ear. Shivers travelled the length of my spine as he lifted up the skirt of my uniform and placed his warm hand on the cheek of my bottom. I gasped and my breathing went wild as he gave a gentle squeeze. The gasp only seemed to spur him further on and he began kneading my flesh. Simultaneously his hungry mouth returned to mine and his hand left my bottom and his fingers began to swiftly undo my blouse. Before I knew it my blouse was thrown unceremoniously upon the floor leaving me exposed.

"You truly are so beautiful" he whispered as I lay next to him my silk bra on full display.

He traced the outline of my breasts with his nimble fingers as the passionate kissing continues, his thumb grazes my left nipple causing me to moan as the most intensive wave of nothing less than pure pleasure ran through my body.

I have never been in possession of much self-confidence, however my prowess decided that now would be an adequate time to put in an appearance and make itself known. I reluctantly moved away from Edward's skilled hands and hitched my skirt up a little further to enable me to straddle his waist. I looked down at his face as I did this and he flashed me a lust filled smile.

"_You_ truly are handsome Mr Cullen" I raised my eyebrows before bowing my head and beginning to gently kiss his throat. I could feel his body tremble with excitement as my kisses trailed down his exposed chest towards his trousers. I looked up through my eyelashes and smiled before taking the buttons of his trousers in my hand, he bit down on his lip with anticipation. I began to slowly and seductively unfasten one button at a time, never loosing eye contact with him.

"Isabella, leg or breast?"

"Pardon?" I shook my head slightly as I spoke, I tried my hardest to hind my disappointment that my father's voice has brought me crashing back down to reality.

"Your father would like to know if you would prefer him to carve you turkey breast or leg my dear" my mother chirped

"Breast please" I smiled as I fingered my recently gifted necklace. I should have known it was nothing but a daydream after all I am far less gracefully and a lot more clumsy in reality.

Forced to honour a previously made promise I have begrudgingly left Edward's side for Christmas dinner with my family. I listened half-heartedly as my mother recounted the tale of how my father slaughtered his prized turkey especially for the occasion. I could not help but laugh at my father's embarrassment as my mother tells me of how he had wrung its neck and begun to pluck it, only for the nearly bald turkey to get up and run around the kitchen in a blind panic.

The house had been decorated tastefully solely by my mother, my father was never allowed to help with the Christmas decorations as apparently he was not in possession of an eye for style. In the living room stood a big Christmas tree, at least six foot in height on top sat a cardboard and cloth fairy that I had made in my first years of school. My mother was so very proud of the fairy; she even went as far as to store it in its own box separate from the other decorations so as to prevent it from being damaged. Since its creation it had never missed a Christmas always watching from the top of the tree as the festive scenes unfolded. Countless Christmas cards were scattered around the house using up all available shelf space and my mother's hand crafted holly wreaths hung on the majority of the doors.

Once dinner had been served I began to hurry the food into my mouth barely sparing the time to chew it before I swallowed. It is not that I did not wish to be with my family, I loved them dearly and enjoyed their company. Nonetheless I was eager to be back at Edward's side. Over recent days our friendship had been flourishing, no longer were there awkward silences or harsh words, we had returned to how we had always been.

I had been a little miffed yesterday when Angela had informed me that if I was not to accompany her and Alice to the dance they would both stay behind. In no uncertain terms I was told she was definitely not prepared to leave me alone on Christmas Eve. Despite several attempts at explaining my reluctance to celebrate she would still not back down. I even went as far as to accuse her of cutting off her nose to spite her own face, she simply replied that the same term could be applied to me. In a way she was correct but I was determined that I was not going to attend just as she was determined that I would attend. It was Alice's suggestion that I spent my evening in Edward's company that eventually ended the stalemate, leaving all parties satisfied.

As it was Christmas Eve I decided it was appropriate to dress nicely and bring along a friend in the form of a bottle of sweet sherry. The evening disappeared almost as quickly as the sherry had done. Once again I felt more than a little at ease in his presence. At first I was taken by surprise when the clock struck twelve and signified that it was now Christmas day; however my surprise soon turned into squeals of delight. In my delight I all but propelled myself upon an unsuspecting Edward scooping him into a festive embrace. Edward appeared pleased with the gifts I had bought him both for Christmas and as a means of an apology for my appalling behaviour.

Although nothing could have prepared me for the gift that he bestowed upon me, a white gold chain with a three neatly set diamonds on heart shaped charm. I insisted that the gift was too much but he insisted that I kept it. His beautifully romantic words have been replayed in my mind countless times since they left his lips, warming me from the very depths of my heart.

"I have made it perfectly clear that my heart belongs to you"

My eyes filled with tears until they could eventually hold no more and they rolled slowly down my cheeks. I could no longer keep my feelings at bay after all it was doing nothing but torturing both him and me. I confessed my love for him and in truth I have never seen anyone look so overjoyed. After a brief exchange of words he agreed that we would use our discretion for a little while and tell no one of my revelation or of our feelings. Again the sweet and loving words he used had not yet left my mind, making my heart skip a beat each time they put in an appearance.

"I would wait a life time for you, a few weeks is nothing"

We spent the rest of our night together wrapped in each other's arms. I had never felt so at home in someone's embrace, it was as if I belonged there and as pointless as it was I fervently wished that I would never have to leave them. As we embraced he recounted the night when he had first encountered me in my polka dot dress, he described every detail and every feeling right up to the very moment I had said that I loved him. My inner self viciously scolded me for not giving into my feelings early and for willingly denying myself and Edward such happiness and bliss. Because he was happy, I only had to look into his eyes to see that he was elated.

"Isabella, if you are not to slow down you are certain to contract terrible indigestion" my mother gently scolded me.

"Sorry, I am so frightfully hungry and I feel a trifle guilty for leaving Alice alone on today of all days" for once in my life I had managed to I lie rather convincingly

"Well that is understandable dear, poor Alice, but you are not leaving this table until you have eaten at least one sprout"

"But Mother, you are more than aware of how I feel about sprouts" I whined

"Those are the rules Isabella"

"Mum" I whined once more only to receive a stern glare in return.

Mother had placed four of the repulsive green vegetables upon my plate fully aware that I detested them with a passion. I have never been a hateful person. I had my moments of temper as did everyone but I really did feel that when in regards the vegetable world, sprouts were an abomination. I pushed one of the offending articles around my plate for a few moments before deciding that returning to Edward was worth having to endure the dreadfully unpleasant and bitter taste. I begrudgingly forced it into my mouth, my mother chuckling at my obvious look of distain I was sporting she then praised me as if I was a small child. Once my father had dished out the Christmas pudding my mother began putting on her boots announced that her and my father were planning to visit the Webbers. I declined her invitation and insisted that I really should get back to Alice, fastening my coat and pulling my hood up I departed into the cold.

I was a trifle worn out when I reached Bicton, having practically sprinted through the muddy fields that my journey consisted of. Tired and muddy I resisted the urge to go to Edward and using the last of my energy hurried up the stairs to remove my dirty boots and retrieve a clean pair of shoes. The photograph of Jasper that was decorating my dressing table caught my eye as I made my way to the wardrobe. I took it in my hands and sighed as I finally realised that he would never return. It hurt terribly to admit that he was gone forever, poor Jasper I thought with a sigh. I placed the frame on the windowsill so that Jasper was looking out of the window instead of at my bed. It was not because I did not wish to see his face but because he loved Shrewsbury so dearly that it seemed only right that he should be looking out upon it. I removed the engagement ring that he had bestowed upon me and placed it in front of the frame. I did so with mixed emotions. I was little heavyhearted at the finality of my action yet at the same time a little relieved, since I had confessed my feelings to Edward the ring had been frightfully heavy on my hand.

Without removing my coat I eagerly skipped towards Edward's room. I wished everyone I encountered on my journey a Happy Christmas, I realised that they probably had no clue as to who I was as my hood was still covering the majority of my face. It was not every day that you received well wishes from a happy Eskimo I chuckled to myself.

The sight of Edward lifted my spirits to even higher levels.

"Merry Christmas Edward"

"Merry Christmas to you too sweetheart" he beamed at me. I began to giggle as my stomach decided it was the perfect time to practice gymnastics. "What is so funny?"

"Nothing, it is just going to take me some time to get used to you calling me sweetheart. It does peculiar things to my insides"

I momentarily averted my eyes from his to see his bed untidily covered in all manner of things. Not being able to stand clutter and mess was a trait gifted upon me by my mother so I began to find new homes for the presents.

I reluctantly exercised my skills of restraint and managed to spend the afternoon and early evening with Edward without touching him. I revelled in seeing him so happy and carefree as we talked about our day so far. The time had come for me to leave him once more. I did not wish to arouse suspicion by leaving Alice, Angela and Rose waiting for my company for much longer and besides I was a little curious of how Rose spent her Christmas Eve.

"I'm afraid to say that I must leave now, in order not to arouse suspicions I must spend what little of the day is left upstairs with my friends" He nodded whilst wearing a sad expression on his pretty face "Please do not be sad Edward. It will not be long until morning and then I shall return"

I wanted nothing more than to hold him and kiss him as I began making my way to his door. My heart raced and my breathing stopped as he took hold of my hand and pressed it to his lips.

"I love you Isabella Swan and I trust that you will return to me swiftly" he all but whispered whilst looking up at me.

"It is no longer a secret that I love you too. Rest assured that I will hurry back to you, if I was to have my way I would never leave"

As I reached the top of the stair case I could hear the excited voices of Alice and Angela echoing down the corridor. I turned to see that they were outside of Rose's door hammering upon it like lunatics.

"Rosalie Hale, you shall let us in and you shall let us in now. You shall tell us every detail about your evening" Angela giggled

"You had best listen to her Rose, although I am small I think I am more than capable of breaking down your door" Alice called

My approach towards them had gone unnoticed; I stood behind them for a brief moment before I spoke.

"Perhaps she will not let you enter as Emmett is still in there" I suggested loudly with raised eyebrows

I was embraced by them both as we all simultaneously wished each other a Merry Christmas.

The door opened a fraction and Rose peaked out.

"If Emmett was in here I very much doubt that I would be wearing so many clothes" she laughed "and I would definitely not be answering the door to what appears to be the Spanish inquisition. I shall let you in on one condition, that you do not interrogate me on my most wonderful evening"

"No deal" Alice said with her arms folded across her chest

"Please Rose" Angela pleaded "Until Ben returns and until Alice... well the least said about Alice's love life the better, we have no choice but to live vicariously through you"

I cleared my throat reminding her that I too was stood outside Rose's door.

"And Bella would like nothing more than to embarrass herself by making terribly inappropriate comments at your tales" I playfully slapped Angela on the arm for her cheeky comment "Come on now Bella, you are unable to deny that you have a reputation for it"

I in the corner of my eye I could see both Alice and Rose giggling.

"I suppose I cannot argue with that" I said in defeat.

Shortly after the banter in the corridor Rose invited us in. She danced to her bed where she sat and began to tell us about the previous evening. Alice and Angela perched themselves upon chairs and I sat cross legged next to Rose as we listened intently.

"Emmett was waiting for me outside the hospital doors. He looked frightfully dapper in his uniform as he leaned against the shiny black taxi that we would be riding in. I could not help but notice the smile that appeared on his face when I walked outside. He took my hand and kissed it before he gifted me with flowers" Rose was glowing as she continued her story.

Angela, Alice and I all let a sigh of happy envy escape when she told us details of the romantic things he whispered in her ear while they were dancing.

"It was nearing the end of the evening when Emmett asked if I would grant him permission to kiss me"

"Please tell us that you agreed Rose" Alice said whilst excitedly bouncing on her seat. Rose said nothing as she gazed at the floor

"Rose?" Angela and I questioned.

She lifted her head slowly "Yes! We kissed" she smiled proudly.

The three of us squealed with joy as if Errol Flynn had just walked into the room and announced his plans to whisk us off to Hollywood.

"Will you be seeing him again?" Angela quizzed

"Yes, Emmett is treating me to dinner the day after tomorrow. I know it is early days as yet but I think I really like him, he appears to be the perfect man" Rose sighed sadly before continuing "However I am already aware that appearances can be deceptive"

An uncomfortable silence followed Rose's last comment until I decided to shatter it.

"Rose, I know very little of your life before Bicton but I presume that you are referring to Royce when you speak of deceptive appearances. I would like to offer you a little reassurance if I may" Rose nodded her head in an indication for me to continue "Emmett is a man kind of heart and from my experiences he is very genuine and has a lot of love to give. He is a true gentleman and not at all like I imagine Royce to be. Do not let that dastardly man ruin this for you, Emmett will treat you as a princess if you so wish. You deserve happiness, you deserve Emmett"

"Thank you Bella that is very kind"

**XXX**

Over the coming days I spent the majority of my time in the company of Edward. He was progressing wonderfully with his exercises to the point where I had promised that in the New Year he could attempt to use crutches and perhaps be free of his wheelchair once and for all. He was proving himself the perfect gentleman as he respected my wishes to remain as very close friends. He never made any advances or touched me unnecessarily. To the outside world we appeared nothing but friends. In fact he conducted himself with a good deal more decorum and restraint than I did. Whenever he took hold of my hand for his exercises I could not help myself but to trace the contours of his hands and wrists with my fingers or give his hand a gentle squeeze.

We had celebrated New Years Eve together in Edward's room. To what appeared to be Edward's delight I had momentarily forgotten the boundaries I had set and I lost all of my restraint. Not only did we sit hand in hand for most of the evening, when the clock stuck twelve I leant over to him and planted a soft kiss on his left cheek before telling him that I loved him. I was aware that I was blushing with embarrassment at my lack of self control, but Edward appeared overjoyed.

He leant towards me and returned my kiss before whispering "As I love you too beautiful. 1941 will be our year, the start of our new life together"

I whole heartedly agreed with his statement and was eager to enjoy the rest of our days together. Later on when I returned to my room I slept soundly experiencing nothing but pleasant dreams of our future together.

All too soon it was morning and I struggled to remove myself from my warm bed. As normal I met Alice, Angela and Rose in the corridor so we could undertake the journey downstairs to the ward together. I was relieved to see that I was not the only one looking a little worn out. On her quest to find her true love Alice had apparently dragged Angela to a New Year's Eve dance. Although I am slightly reluctant to use the word dragged as Angela was astoundingly stubborn and would hold her ground when she did not wish to do something. Rose and Emmett had apparently joined them and the foursome had dance away the night only returning to Bicton at around two in the morning.

"Did your Prince Charming attend the dance Alice?" I groaned still half asleep.

"No, he most certainly did not or if he did he spent the entire night hiding in the lavatories. I am considering the idea that I was a most terrible person in a former life and now I am doomed to spent this life alone" she chuckled while wiping the sleep from her eyes.

"One day Alice he will ride up to you on his white steed and whisk you off into the beautiful sunset, of that I am sure"

The start of our shift passed at a slow pace with frequent tea breaks and the occasional treat in the form of a biscuit stealthy stolen from the kitchens by Rose. I looked at the clock that hung in the nurse's station above the notice instructing staff that Edward was not to gain access to a pen or paper. It was gone ten so I made my way to Edward's room. Even just the prospect of being in his presence dissolved my tiredness completely. By the time I had reached his room I was in possession of a new lease of life and was yearning for the feel of his skin against mine as he practiced his exercise regime.

I wished Edward good morning as I made my way over to where he was sitting.

"Good morning to you too, beautiful" I blushed at his words as my stomach once more filled with a thousand butterflies.

"If it would be agreeable with you I would like you to attempt to walk the width of your room today"

"Beautiful, I would be honoured to walk anywhere with you" again I could do nothing to prevent my blush or the peculiar feeling in my stomach. I silently debated with myself if this would always happen or whether would I eventually acclimatise to Edward's affectionate words. I was unable to come to any sort of a decision as the sight of a joyous Edward was incredibly distracting.

Edward stood whilst I moved his wheelchair across the room to his planned destination. I swiftly returned to him and held out my hands for him to take. The instant his skin touched mine I could feel the pace of my heart rate dramatically increase. I decided it was best to ignore this fact hoping that it would eventually calm down and subside and that I was not, as I had first presumed, experiencing a heart attack. Edward was making jolly good progress; we had very nearly reached the opposite side of the room. I could feel the wall behind me when he stumbled. He let go of my hands and attempted to steady himself by placing his palms flat against the wall either side of my head. The reality of the situation was that I was now involuntarily pinned against the wall as Edward was about to tumble into me. I braced myself for the pain the impact would no doubt cause me. The impact never came, Edward had regained his balance and I silently thanked the Lord, Mary, Joseph, Baby Jesus and everyone else who cared to listen to me.

I gazed up at Edward's face, at first his eyes mirrored my own feeling of relief however they soon changed to a look I was not familiar with.

"Miss Swan you truly are irresistible" I gasped as he lowered his head to whisper his words in my ear, memories of my day dream began to flood my mind. The ever present butterflies that had made a home in my stomach started to multiply at an astonishing rate as I felt his breath against my neck and the smell of his cologne got stronger. He moved his head to face me, we were barely touching yet shivers ran the length of my spine and my breathing became quite erratic. His tongue grazed my bottom lip once then twice, the sheer pleasure of his touch causing me to shudder.

"You taste heavenly Miss Swan. Would it be acceptable for me to kiss you?" he breathed into my ear once more causing my knees to weaken. In all honestly at the present moment in time I was unable to refuse him any request, I was his.

I could not find the words to answer as his lips began to leave a trail of little kisses down my neck, instead I chose to bite my lip and nod my head. The feeling was heavenly. His lips made their way to meet mine and I moaned his name as passion all but set me on fire. Edward abruptly stopped kissing me and turned his head towards the door causing me to moan once more only this time it was the sound of disappointment not pleasure. I peered over his shoulder to see that Alice was stood in the doorway.

"Oh, I am frightfully sorry. I... erm... well... I'll call back later" her smirk did not go unnoticed as she left the room and closed the door behind her.

"I am sorry Bella, I was being inappropriate whilst you are duty. It is so dreadfully hard to keep my hands off of you when you look so damned ravishing in your uniform" he sat down in his wheelchair as he spoke, I continued to lean against the wall attempting to catch my breath.

"I quite enjoyed your improper behaviour" I uttered still trying to re-gather myself into some form of order.

After I had reassured him that I was almost certain that Alice would say nothing of what she saw, he suggested we take a stroll in the garden to allow ourselves to cool down a little. I skipped my way down the corridor to the nurse's station to retrieve a coat. With my back to the door I reached up to remove the jacket from its peg.

"Isabella Swan" I turned to see Alice leaning against the door frame. Her arms were folded across her chest as she tutted and shook her head back and forth.

"If you value your life you shall not utter a word of what you have just witnessed Alice Brandon" I pointed my finger at her as I spoke

"You have my word, besides which I was well aware this was going to happen" she smiled "I am so very happy for you both, if anybody belongs together it is you two"

She opened her arms and pulled me into a tight embrace.

"I think you may very well be right, I am very happy"

"I believe Edward is happy too" still grinning like the Cheshire cat she turned and left the room.

**XXX**

Edward and I took a little stroll in the garden before resting upon a bench; Edward expertly transferred himself out of his wheelchair so that he was sat on the bench next to me. Our hands were touching ever so slightly as I began to playfully swing my legs back and forth like a contented child. The recent events had caused an ever present grin to appear on my face and I took great pleasure in the fact that the kiss we shared appeared to have had the same effect on Edward. I reached out my hand and placed it upon his arm, I was intent on telling him just how happy I was when a familiar voice interrupted me.

"Isabella"

Terribly shocked by the voice I reasoned that I was either once again daydreaming or I was suffering from an acute form of madness. I swiftly turned my head to the direction of the voice. A fair few yards in front of me stood a handsome man in a khaki uniform. The bright January sun shone from behind him illuminating him as if he was an angel sent from the heavens. My instincts took over and I ran towards him and he in turn began to take large speedy strides towards me. I launched myself into his outstretched arms wrapping my legs around his waist. His arms held me tightly as he spun me around. Still twirling we began to shower each other in urgent little kisses, over his shoulder I caught a glimpse of Edward. His face had turned a peculiar white colour, his lips were firmly pursed together and his hands were curled into tight fists, so tight that the skin across his knuckles had turned white. A little dizzy I was placed on my feet upon the floor, I stood with my hands cupped over my mouth to muffle the squeals of delight escaping my lungs.

"Good afternoon ma'am" He spoke in a fake Texan drawl as he removed his hat and smiled.

"This is a most wonderful dream"

"Miss Swan this is no dream, as promised I have returned to you"

"Oh Jasper, where the devil have you been?" I reached out my hand to touch his smile "I thought you were dead, I thought I would never see that smile again. I attended your memorial service, I cried at the poem you asked Marcy to read, I... "

"Shhh Bella, calm yourself" he pulled me close to him once more and stroked the back of my head "It is a dreadfully long story and it will take me some time to recount it to you. I would like it very much if you were to accompany me into town for a drink, where we can speak in private"

I turned to look at a severely unhappy looking Edward, his face was twisted and contorted with pain as he sat next to Emmett. I looked at him for a few moments feeling utterly helpless. I knew fore well that I could do nothing to ease his discomfort in the presence of Jasper. My eyes moved to Emmett and it suddenly dawned upon me that I had no idea of how he got here or in fact how long he had even been there. Although I was fairly certain he was not perched upon the bench whilst Edward and I were sat there.

"Emmett? Where did you appear from?" I questioned as I noticed Alice and Rose making their way across the grass to join us.

"I was stood next to Jasper but I think you were a little preoccupied to notice me" a deep booming sound made its way from his mouth as he laughed. Oblivious to the pain of the man seated next to him he spoke again "Edward this is my brother and Nurse Swan's fiancé, Jasper"

"It is a pleasure to meet you sir" Jasper held out his hand for Edward to shake.

"Indeed" was the only reply Edward could muster as he took Jasper's hand and shook it perhaps a trifle to firmly. Thankfully Jasper appeared not to notice Edward's snarl.

"Jasper I would love to accompany you to town but unfortunately you have returned at a time that I am on duty" I made a downwards motion with my hands that instructed him to look at my uniform "I do not make a habit of wearing this ghastly ensemble for social purposes" I could hear Emmett chortle at my comment "I was a little busy assisting the Lance Corporal so I must return to him. I finish my shift in a few hours perhaps you would be so kind as to wait until then?"

"Nonsense" a happy voice called. It was Rose. She was stood next to Emmett with her hand placed affectionately upon his shoulder, his arm was proudly wrapped around her waist. They appeared the picture of fairy tale happiness. "Alice and I are quite capable of helping the Lance Corporal."

Alice looked at me with concern. I return her gaze, with my expression communicating nothing but desperation, after all I urgently needed to speak with Edward. She reluctantly nodded in agreement with Rose's suggestion as a slight grimace spread across her face. She bent down to whisper something in Edward's ear as Emmett was introducing Rose to his brother.

Alice moved to my side, her mouth opened as if she was about to speak however she quickly closed it as Jasper moved away from Rose to put his arm around my waist.

"Alice, this is my..." the word fiancé threatened to choke me so I reasoned that it was for the best for me to omit it "...Private Whitlock"

"Good afternoon Private Whitlock, it is a pleasure to finally meet you"

"Please call me Jasper" releasing his grip around my waist he leant over and kissed her cheek. Never before I had witnessed Alice blush as brightly as she did when Jasper kissed her. "It is very nice to meet you to, although I believe we met briefly before I left for France."

"That is correct I am impressed that you remember, but this is the first time we have been introduced formally"

"I never forget a pretty face" I was paying very little attention to their conversation; I was busying myself looking at Edward, willing him to look up from the floor and meet my gaze. Yet from the corner of my eye I could see Jasper laugh and wink at Alice. I was not at all certain how I should react in regards to his flirtatious behaviour with someone I considered a very dear friend. I should have felt uncontrollable jealousy but I did not, instead I felt nothing.

"If you insist that you are happy to assist Lance Corporal Cullen then I shall proceed to quickly make my way upstairs to change" Rose nodded at my comment whilst Alice was so deeply involved in conversation with Jasper she showed no signs that she had actually heard my voice. For the last time I looked at Edward silently imploring him to raise his head to look at me but the floor still held his attention. However unlikely it was I desperately wished that he had found a small colony of ants or perhaps some other insects upon the ground that he was finding wonderfully fascinating. But deep down I knew he was upset and doing everything humanly possible to avoid my gaze.

**XXX**

Emmett had kindly driven Jasper and I into Shrewsbury on his way back to the RAF camp. I had failed to notice the name of the quaint tea rooms we now sat in but it was in possession of wonderful views of the sandstone castle. I sipped at my drink whilst Jasper began to explain his disappearance to me.

"Isabella, please do not think I am lecturing you but you have no idea what a horrible place the battlefields are. The sound of bullets whizzing through the air and bombs exploding is a constant presence; there is not one moments silence or respite from the noise. At first you thank God when you wake in the morning elated to have made it through another night alive but then in time you start to wonder if it would be best not to wake at all. The dead bodies of men litter the floor as if they are nothing but fallen leaves upon the ground in the autumn. The smell of the hungry and unwashed living by far exceeds the stench of the decomposing bodies. Men become nameless they are nothing but numbers to the men in charge of orchestrating the elaborate game of soldiers. These men consider not the fact that their soldiers have feelings and loved ones or even lives outside of the trenches. We were treated as pawns in a bloody game of chess and we were utterly dispensable. It did not seem so bad at first, we were stationed at a camp miles away from the fighting. When it was our turn to move up to the front line I realised just how awful this damned war really is"

"Is that why you letters grew more negative as time went on?" I asked quietly. He nodded his head.

"You were my only reason to stay alive, I lived solely for your letters and to see you once more" he briefly took hold of my hand as he spoke. "After a week or so of being on the front line, our battalion was instructed to attack a German stronghold. The men up top played with our lives in hope that they would gain some all important ground. Ben and I plus a few other men we given the task of taking out the machine gun post that threatened to mow down the rest of the soldiers. In the dark of the night we slowly crawled across the cold sticky mud of no man's land on our stomachs keeping as low to the ground as we possibly could. Two of our working party were shot dead before we had even made it to the half way point. We silently cut through the barbed wire of the German's defences and launched our attack. It felt as if we were fighting for hours but in reality it was over after a few short minutes. Whilst Ben and a few other men cleared out the machine gun post myself and a jolly decent chap called Greene went to investigate the perimeters. We were grabbed from behind by German soldiers I did not even have time to scream let alone reach for my gun. My thoughts flashed to you, I was so frightened of loosing you, so frightened of causing you upset. As they threw me into the back of a large vehicle I reached into my breast pocket to retrieve your photo but it was no longer there and although it is not what a man should do I began to sob. We were escorted to a prisoner of war camp where we remained until around a week ago. I shall not bore you with the details but unlike many a soldier we managed to escape from the camp with our lives"

"Oh Jasper, that is truly terrible. I have cried myself to sleep at night and my heart has ached for you. I cannot tell you how happy I am to see you again." a lone tear escaped my eye.

"I have missed you Isabella"

"I have missed everything about you but it is your smile I have missed most" I sniffed.

"That is a frightfully pretty necklace you are playing with. Is that new?" I had obviously been subconsciously fingering it as I was not aware that it was in my hand until he had bought it to my attention.

"It was a Christmas present" I smiled

"And a very nice one it is too. Bella where is your engagement ring?" my right hand instinctively covered my left one.

"Forgive me Jasper but I thought that you were dead, in all honesty it has only been the last few days that it has not adorned my finger"

Jasper ordered us another drink and he began to question me about Emmett and Rose. I explained that they appeared to be very happy and that they were possibly even soul mates. Jasper laughed as he informed me how he had arrived completely unannounced at the local airfield to see Emmett and how Emmett believed Jasper was a ghost, haunting him in return for all the practical jokes he had played in the past.

"I am most pleased that Emmett has been looking after you in my absence"

"Your brother is quite the gentleman and he has become a friend that I treasure dearly" I spoke honestly deciding it was best not to tell him how I had punched him in the chest several times when he had first made my acquaintance.

"He tells me that you have found an immense amount of comfort in Angela and the other nurse's that you work with, as well as a Lance Corporal whose name I forget"

"He speaks the truth. Angela, Alice and Rose have all be wonderfully supportive of me and I cannot thank them enough for their friendship. The Lance Corporal he speaks of is Edward, the man you met earlier at the hospital" my heart fluttered as I mentioned his name "He is a jolly decent chap and has done his upmost to see that I am well"

After a third drink Jasper announced that it was time for him leave.

"It is with great regret that I must leave your side again my darling but rest assured it is only for this evening" he smiled at me "I must go and inform my parents of my resurrection" he chuckled "I'm sure they will be more than a little surprised to see I have risen from the grave and that I do not look bad for it"

He called me a taxi and kissed me on the cheek before departing.

I was fully aware that the longer I left Edward to sulk and to over think things the worse it would be so I returned home to Bicton in record time. I had rather cleverly offered to pay the driver a little extra if he hurried all the way.

I all but ran through the hospital doors eager to sort things, I was not concentrating on where I was going I just needed to get there as swiftly as I possibly could. I could hear a voice quietly calling my name, it was a very familiar voice but I chose not to identify it. It called again, once more I ignored it.

"BELLA!" Alice's voice now screamed. I stopped abruptly, the momentum I had built up causing me to skid across the floor a little. I turned to see Alice floating down the stairs towards me. "So you are not deaf then?" she jested

"No my ears are in full working order it is just that I am in a frightful hurry" I spoke quickly

"Edward?"

"Yes Edward. How is he?"

"He is dealing with this better than I thought he would. He is a little angry but I do believe his anger is directed at Private Whitlock rather than you"

I breathed a small sigh of relief.

"But Jasper has done nothing wrong there is no reason to be angry with him" I could not hide the worry in my voice.

"That is very true Bella but look at it from Edward's point of view. He is frightened of loosing you and he must project his anger at someone." as usual Alice was correct in what she was saying. Deep down I was glad the anger was not directed at me, I was so very tired of arguing and distress. "But that is not what I wished to speak to you about. Rose and Emmett have ever so kindly invited us to join them at a dance in a few days time I wish to know if you will be accompanying us. Angela has already confirmed that she and Private Cheney will be attending" as her levels of excitement began to rise so did the rate of her speech. In fact I was surprised that she appeared not to need to stop and draw breath, for a short moment I contemplated that fact that Alice may not actually be as human as I had first assumed. "I am dreadfully excited about meeting Private Cheney after all I have heard so much about him. I have this wonderful new dress I can wear but I must pop out and by a pair of shoes to wear with it and maybe a new cardigan as well and..."

"Alice, do you ever need to stop for air?" I chuckled slightly as I interrupted "Yes I shall come with you, if only so you will stop talking and take a deep breath. The last thing I desire when I am in a hurry is for you to faint from a distinct lack of oxygen, besides who knows how long it would take someone to find you."

"You mean you would not stay and tend to me?"

"Alice, for the third time I am in a hurry" I laughed

"And for the second time you are over reacting and you do not need to hurry so. You have hurt my feelings Isabella, I am in dreadful pain you rotten girl" she pulled a sad face and clutched at her heart as if she was a poor quality Shakespearian actress.

"I'm sure you will live" I said as I pushed open the door to the ward "and you are more than aware that you are my friend and that I love you dearly" I chuckled as once again I set off on my journey.

When I reached Edward was sat in his wheelchair looking out of the doors.

"Hello Edward" my voice was considerably more timid than I had expected it to sound.

"Good afternoon Bella" he sounded troubled and deflated. The fact that he had addressed me as nothing but Bella stung a little.

"Do you no longer consider me your sweetheart?" I began to take small steps towards him.

"Isabella" he smiled a little and ran his hand through his hair "I thought I had made it perfectly clear to you that you will always be my sweetheart. However in your absence this afternoon I have been pondering whether you would wish me to continue to address you in that manner. When all is said and done your fiancé, the man you promised yourself to, has returned to you."

Aware of the confused expression I was sporting I perched myself on the end of his bed.

"I'm not certain that I fully understand the meaning of your words"

"I am offering you the opportunity to return to the arms of your fiancé. If that is what you so wish I shall bear no grudge towards either of you"

"Edward!" I exclaimed "You are being ridiculous and foolish. It is you that I want, it always has been and I am most certain that it shall remain that way for the rest of my days" My favourite smile spread across his face, it was as always a sight to behold and truly irresistible. I moved from to kneel before him "I love you Edward Cullen with all of my heart and soul" in spite of the boundaries I had imposed I leant forward and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Thank you beautiful" he whispered as he gently cupped my chin "What are your intentions with regards to Private Whitlock?"

"I don't know" I sighed and shook my head "Actually I am lying. I know perfectly well what I have to do I am just unsure of how to do it without hurting him. He does not deserve to be hurt Edward, he is a good man"

"Perhaps Alice will be able to help you; her advice is more often than not of the highest quality especially when it comes to affairs of the heart."

"Perhaps" I mused.

We chatted for a little while longer before I decided to seek out Alice's guidance. I explained the reasons for my departure to Edward and wished him a good night.

"Good night beautiful." He began to rub his thumb and for finger up and down the bridge of his nose "Bella, if for any reason you are to change your mind about this situation then you have my word that I shall not inflict my temper upon you"

"Edward, you can rest assured that I shall not change my mind. Although if you are experiencing trouble sleeping perhaps a little light reading would be of help, maybe you could read your journal?" I turned and left heading for the stairs.

**So what did you think?**

**Let me know!**

**Magenta xx**


	30. Chapter 30

_**A special thanks to my awesome beta,**__**acacia6583, if you haven't read her two stories then you really should. **_

_**Unfortunately I still don't own Twilight!**_

_**Thanx so much for all you lovely reviews!**_

_**It's time to hear what Edward thinks of Jasper's return and time for Annie and Marcy to shine!**_

Edward

I felt a wave of nausea wash over me as Bella jumped into the arms of the handsome stranger, wrapping her legs around his waist. He was dressed in a military uniform not all that dissimilar than mine, only his insignia indicated that he was a Private. The feeling of nausea did nothing other than intensify when Bella began to emanate little jovial squeals and they began to gift each other with an abundance of kisses. I could feel the colour drain from my face and my blissful happiness begin to withdraw from my body. I felt nothing other than sturdy and unyielding jealousy as this man wrapped his arms around my girl. I sat silently with my hands locked around the wood of the bench beneath me. In Fear that if I continued to grasp the bench in anger the wood would splinter and break I mechanically peeled my hands from it. I laid them either side of me and clenched them tightly into fists.

"Good afternoon ma'am" he spoke in the most ridiculous accent I have ever had the displeasure of hearing. I could feel my fists begin to vibrate violently with sheer rage and displeasure at the scene that was playing out before my eyes. I had not one clue of who this man was but I wanted nothing more than to raise my fist to him and knock him to the ground. Honestly, who did he think he was to hold and touch my girl with such affection and adoration? The soldier was far too young to be her father, Bella had informed me a good while ago that she was an only child so she had no brother, her fiancé was dead and she had never spoken of any previous romantic involvements or affairs of the heart. So who the bloody hell was he? The sensation that I was no longer sat alone on the bench disturbed me from my ill- tempered speculations.

"Nice to see you again old fellow" Pilot Whitlock spoke cheerily "Is everything all right Lance Corporal? You look a little pained."

"Everything is fine" I snapped before quickly realising that my behaviour was out of order. Emmett was a good man and undeserving of the manner I which I had spoken "Thank you for your concern" my voice was somewhat warmer and friendlier now "I am experiencing a lot of discomfort with my legs at the present time. It will pass soon enough though. It is nice to see you again, how are you?"

"I am in good health and in very high spirits. My brother has returned from the grave today"

"Well that is wonderful news" I forced a smile as I continued to watch Bella and the unfamiliar man.

"It is nice to see them so happy together, as you are aware she has missed him terribly" I turned to face him, his gaze was focused upon Bella and her gentleman friend. Like a sharp slap to the face it dawned upon me that Pilot Whitlock's brother was Private Whitlock who in turn was Bella's fiancé. The man before me was Jasper, he had returned for his bride. I ardently hoped that she would not return to him.

I could not bring my eyes to meet Bella's as Emmett briefly conversed with her.

"Edward this is my brother and Nurse Swan's fiancé, Jasper" Emmett proudly introduced his recently dead brother to me.

"It is a pleasure to meet you sir" he held out his hand for me to shake. I had never met this fellow before yet I had despised him for such a long time. My only reason behind my inherent hatred of him was that he was engaged to Bella. Now I was finally meeting him I could not deny that he appeared a very nice, friendly chap and nothing like my imagination had led me to believe. Nonetheless just because he appeared decent did not mean that I had to actively seek out his friendship.

My hand was still trembling as I took a hold of his shaking it a little more firmly than was really necessary.

"Indeed" was all I allowed myself to say in fear that if I granted myself permission to speak freely nothing but abuse would roll off my tongue.

I listened as Bella declined her fiancé's invitation into town reasoning that she was busy supporting me. At first a felt a small amount of joy at her words, she was choosing me over him. But then self doubt took a hold of me, perhaps she wished to stay with me to inform me of her decision to end our relationship. If that were to happen there was no way on God's earth that Alice could convince me to stay here as she had done previously. The pain was bad enough when Bella had simply rejected me. Now that I had had a small taste of happiness, heard her say that she loved me and held her in my arms the thought of losing her was even more torturous than before. If it were to happen I would promptly leave here tonight never to return again. I viciously scolded myself for being unnecessarily negative; it was only last night that Bella had told me she loved me. In the short time that we had been acquaintances we had obviously become very close we spoke freely and kept no secrets from each other. I knew her almost as well as I knew myself and I was well aware that she was neither fickle nor impulsive.

"Nonsense. Alice and I are quite capable of helping the Lance Corporal." Nurse Hale interjected. Her comment forced me to believe that the sole purpose for her existence was to meddle in my affairs and make my life as difficult and downright lousy as possible.

"When I require you help I shall jolly well ask for it" I muttered spitefully under my breath. I received a sharp slap on my arm and turned to see Alice sporting a disapproving look. Looking away from her frown I saw Emmett affectionately curl his arm around Nurse Hale's waist I was immediately grateful that no one but Alice had heard my comment.

"Edward Cullen!" Alice bent down and whispered harshly into my ear "You need to stop this puerile and nonsensical behaviour at once. You are very fortunate that Rose did not hear you last comment as it was frightfully uncalled for. I understand the reasoning for your dismay but it is certainly not justified." Her eyes flicked to Bella and her voice softened "Look at her Edward, watch her reactions to him, watch how her gaze always returns to you. She is not in love with him anymore, she is happy he has returned that is all"

As I gazed at the ground I watched Bella intently from the corner of my eye. She smiled affectionately at Jasper yet when she looked at him her eyes lacked the brightness and intensity of when in the recent past they had met mine. Perhaps Alice was correct although my doubts still lingered.

After Bella had left to change her clothes I had asked Alice to help me back to my room. She perched upon my bed with the most delighted look upon her face.

"Oh isn't he wonderfully handsome?" she said with a dreamy sigh.

"Emmett? He is a little on the large side for you don't you think? If you were to stand against him you would barely reach his waist," I sniggered "and now you come to mention it I think he is rather smitten with Nurse Hale, although the reasons why fail me"

"You are incredibly hostile towards Rose, bordering on callous in fact. She is a lovely person doing what she thinks best for her friend. You fail to remember that she is oblivious to the occurrences between yourself and Bella. As for Emmett, by no means is he unattractive, however I was actually referring to Jasper" she beamed when his name left her lips.

"Do not speak to me about that vile man" I spat

"Edward, I do not mean to offend you; however your attitude can get quite tiresome on occasion. Jasper has never spoken a bad word against you; in fact you have only just this minute met him. If anyone has a right to be angry it is him. After all in his absence you have stolen his fiancé away from him. He was nothing but genial towards you earlier and yet here you are sulking in your bedroom..."

"But..."

"Do not interrupt me young man" she pointed her finger at me "And as for Rose she has given you her apology for her unkind words and she has given you her forgiveness for yours. I realise the situation between you and Bella is not an ideal one but you need to stop being so downright grumpy. You are well aware of the fact that I care for you as if you were my own brother which is why I have taken it upon myself to tell you how frightfully silly you are being. If you are going to be with Bella do you really think that is fair to drag her into your silliness because I, Edward Cullen, believe it to be most unfair"

"Have you quite finished?" I raised my eyebrows

"Yes, I rather think I have" she smugly folded her arms across her chest.

"Firstly I do not know whether I should laugh at your rant or wheel myself in terror in the direction of the nearest hill. Secondly for the sake of Isabella I am prepared to put aside my differences with Nurse Hale. Finally I have every right to be angry with Private Whitlock as he is about to take the love of my life from me."

"Dam and Blast Edward are you blind? Bella loves you, any fool can see that. You appear to be the biggest fool yet the only one that cannot see how much she adores you." she through her arms into the air as she spoke "In addition to that fact I think it is only right that I should make you aware that the words Jasper and Private Whitlock are not profanities so there is no need to spit them from your mouth as you do. In conclusion to my argument I shall give you a five minute head start on your journey to the hills"

A little while later Alice left. During her time in my room I had reluctantly promised that I would no longer treat Jasper or Nurse Hale with contempt. I was not entirely happy with the decision but when all was said and done a promise was a promise and I would try my upmost to keep my word. Besides when the mood took her Alice could be very persuasive and truthfully she was the one person I was scared to cross.

Once alone I engrossed myself in my thoughts, contemplating what I should do in this complicated situation that I now found myself in the middle of. I was unable to reach a conclusion as my mind was frequently distracted preferring to think of Bella's beautiful face, kissing her full lips or doing things far from proper with her.

I was disturbed by the sound of my door closing followed by Bella's very quiet voice

"Hello Edward"

Despite informing her that I would bare her and Jasper no grudge if she returned to him she kissed me softly yet passionately all the same and insisted that it was my side that she wished to be at. My panic subsided and yet again I felt at ease and contented as we spent a little time in each other's company.

"Edward, I would sincerely like nothing more than to spend the night here with you however I have to make some attempt to dissolve this terrible mess. If you don't mind I am going to excuse myself and seek guidance from Alice" she gently placed her hand on top of mine before making her way towards the door "Good night"

"Good night beautiful." I paused for a moment before my mouth ran away with itself "Bella, if for any reason you are to change your mind about this situation then you have my word that I shall not inflict my temper upon you"

"Edward," she sighed and a little smile began to creep across her lips "You can rest assured that I shall not change my mind. Although if you are to experience trouble sleeping perhaps a little light reading would be of help, maybe you could read your journal?" she flashed me a cheeky smile before leaving.

Her comment had left me utterly perplexed. I made my way to the bookshelf where I had stowed my journal vowing on the evening that she had given it back to me never to pick it up again. Feeling somewhat confused I broke my vow and I began to flick through the pages. I skimmed over the various passages trying to find meaning in her words to no avail. It was only when I reached the final pages that I understood. There, underneath the note I had written her when she had rejected my advances was a passage written in her handwriting. The date was written neatly at the top, it was the 19th December, the same day that I had written my note.

"_**Dearest Edward,**_

_**I am certain it will be a long while before you see this as I know you well enough to realise that when I return your journal you shall not wish to ever set eyes upon it again. Nevertheless I am confident that one day you will read my words.**_

_**I may be unable to speak the words you long to hear, and for that I am truly sorry, but I am able to write them.**_

_**I love you. **_

_**I love you with every bit of my heart and soul.**_

"_**You were made perfectly to be loved and surely I have loved you, in the idea of you, my whole life long"**_

_**My heart will forever be yours.**_

_**Isabella Swan."**_

Her words were beautiful and full of love and adoration causing my heart to swell with joy. I read the words once more wanting nothing more than to make my way to her room and crawl into her bed. I wanted to hold her tightly and inhale her scent. I wanted to shower her with kisses and watch her sleep. I wanted to stay with her for the night and I wanted to never have to leave her side again. I wanted her. She was my girl and she loved me, her words proving just how long she had felt that way. Bella's words had almost allowed me to forget my troubles, but the unease, albeit weakened, that she would return to the arms of her fiancé was ever present at the back of my mind.

I slept restlessly. My dreams of Bella were constantly being interrupted by the appearance of Jasper coming to claim what was rightfully his. On some occasions Bella would leave willingly with him other times she was reluctant to go but Jasper would take her all the same.

All too soon it was morning and there Nurse Hale was waiting patiently at my door.

"Good Morning Lance Corporal Cullen." she spoke cheerfully with a constant smile upon her face "I trust you are well?" Nurse Hale never came to my room, this was the work of Alice, of that I was sure.

"Very well thank you, and you?"

"I am dandy" she drew back the curtains then turned to face me "I have ran you a hot bath if you would care to accompany me to the bathroom"

"Thank you Nurse Hale that is very kind of you" I threw back my bed covers and prepared myself to move to my wheelchair.

"Lance Corporal, would you mind awfully if I was to ask you a question?"

"It would depend on what the question is in regards to, but please go on."

"Yesterday in the garden I noticed that you seemed quite friendly with Emmett, do you think he is a good man?" she asked sheepishly.

"I do not have all that much experience with him if I am honest, however when I have met him he seems a jolly decent chap. Why?"

"Nothing, I am being silly that is all" she blushed. I raised my eyebrows at her "I am attending a dance with him soon and his old romance will be there and I am a little nervous, you see. He has not seen her since the relationship ended and I wished for a man's perspective. Although we have not always seen eye to eye on this occasion I would value you opinion."

"You are anxious about his old flame?" I chuckled

"Yes, but I do not see the humour in it myself" she looked confused

"Nurse Hale, have you looked at your reflection in the mirror recently? You are tall with a wonderful figure, you are blonde and attractive you have no cause to worry" It was a lot easier than I had led myself to imagine to be friendly and favourable with Nurse Hale. "I have also seen nothing but adoration when he gazes at you, he is so obviously proud to call you his. There is no reason for you to fret."

"Thank you" she blushed.

Shortly after my bath, Alice burst in through my door.

"Good morning Lance Corporal Cantankerous. How has your morning been so far?" she sang whilst making her way to a chair.

"Very funny" I said sarcastically "My morning has been splendid thank you"

"How did you find Nurse Hale?"

"Alice Brandon, do not worry your meddling had not gone unnoticed"

"Do not be mean to me. I only meddle for your own good. I spend a lot of my time looking out for you so you could say that I am a little bit like your guardian angel. Although in all honesty I would prefer to be a fairy rather than an angel" she giggled.

"I would prefer to call you a nuisance" I chuckled "and a childish one at that" I added when she began to pretend the pen that she had removed from her breast pocket was a magic wand. "I think that you will be delighted to hear that things between Nurse Hale and me were quite amicable this morning. It is a lot easier to be nice to her than I had first imagined"

"Edward would you be so kind as to repeat that please as I am not sure that I heard you correctly. It sounded like you said, I am terribly sorry Alice, you were right yet again. I was dreadfully wrong to have ever doubted you" she laughed.

"You are a quintessential woman Alice, only hearing what you wish to" I chuckled while throwing the pillow off my bed at her.

"And you are a fine example of a typical man Edward, unable to admit defeat you swiftly resort to violence" she threw the pillow back at me. "Once you get to know her, Rose is a terribly nice person. She is kind and loyal and unafraid to fight for what she thinks is right"

A knock on the door prevented me for voicing my reply. The door opened slightly but nobody entered the room, instead there was a repetitive and extraordinary banging noise.

"Hello" Bella's voice called through the doorway followed by a frustrated growl and even more banging "Oh heavens above!"

Alice and I both moved across the room as to enable us to see what on earth was occurring in the doorway. I did nothing to contain my laughter when I saw Bella carrying two large crutches with her arms further weighed down with several cloth bags. The cause of her botheration was the fact that the crutches were splayed out at odd angles making her too wide for the door. Each time she stepped forwards the crutches prevented her from entering, to make it worse the one crutch persistently banged against her head. Alice had tears of laughter falling down her face from watching Bella trying her hardest to position herself at a variety of angles and attempting the action again. None of the positions which she tried were successful. Each time she tried she grew more frustrated and redder in the face.

"Well I am glad you both find my struggle amusing, I for one do not"

I tried to answer her but I could not control my laughter meaning the words I had intended to form were nothing but a terrible discord.

"Right well that is it then, I have had enough I shall be back when I have bally well calmed down" she through her equipment on the floor only to be hit in the head once more by the crutch. An angry growl escaped her mouth as she began to stomp down the corridor. I turned to see Alice continuing to laugh and tightly holding her stomach as she slowly slid down the wall. When she reached the floor her laughter caused her to lean to one side and complain of suffering from stitch.

It was only when a few moments later that we heard an almighty scream echo down the corridor. Alice jumped up and decided that she would see to Bella. I chose to make myself useful and collected the equipment Bella had cast onto the floor.

With my door open I watched as Bella eventually made her way back to me.

"Have you calmed yourself a little now, beautiful?" although the corridor was empty I was careful to whisper the last word I spoke to her.

"With no help from you I have regained my professionalism" she sniggered "Now Edward; if you would be so kind as to close the door we will begin your exercises" she bent down and began sorting through her equipment that I had placed on the floor at the end of my bed.

I did as I was instructed then I made my way over to her.

"Bella, could you please delay your actions for one moment there is something I would like to discuss with you" she nodded her head and I gestured for her to take a seat. I noticed that she was acting a little bizarrely; she did not seem quite herself. It was almost as if every move she made was carefully orchestrated. She had upon the arm chair with her hands underneath her apron. "While we are alone would it be acceptable for me to take you hand while I speak?" she nodded. Underneath her apron her left hand moved slightly. Eager to feel her skin against mine I moved my hand to take hers. Her odd behaviour continued as she appeared to reassess her action swiftly pulling the right hand out instead. Her conduct was beginning to worry me slightly, l looked into her eyes as I took her hand and she smiled affectionately. Perhaps I was over thinking things as it seemed apparent that she was happy. My father had always told me that it was impossible to understand the complex ways in which a woman's mind worked. I have no choice but to agree with him on this point, women are dreadfully strange.

"I did as you suggested last night and I perused the pages of my journal"

"Did you like what you found?" her cheeks blushed crimson

"I do not think like is a strong enough word, I cherish and adore the words you have written. They are very nearly as stunningly beautiful as you are"

"I am so very glad you have seen it Edward. I wrote that the night you... the night that we argued. I felt terribly guilty for not being able to tell you how I felt, how I have always felt. I desperately wanted you to know but my grief prevented me from saying so. In a moment of madness I thought that if I wrote it down instead of voicing it then I would not be betraying Jasper. As I wrote it I was aware that you would not look at your journal again unless you were prompted. It was your insecurity yesterday that caused it the note to force its way into the forefront of my mind"

"If you are compelled to write such wonderful things then I fervently hope that you have more moments of madness."

"Do you now see that your insecurity is futile? It is you and it always has been you that I want. The sooner you see yourself clearly the better, perhaps I should purchase you a mirror when I journey into town next?" she placed a gentle kiss upon my cheek before making her way over to the equipment she had bought with her.

"I am hoping that I have altered these to the right height for you Edward" she said with reference to the wooden crutches "Otherwise it means I shall have to riffle through all these bags of odds and ends"

Fortunately for Bella she had made them to the right specifications and there was no need to alter them. I stood up at the end of my bed as she instructed me on how to use them correctly. As she moved I noticed something on her hand catch the light.

She noticed my stare and quickly hid her hand behind her back.

"Now if you feel you are agreeable it is time for you to take a step" she said evasively.

"Isabella what is on your hand that you are hiding from me?"

"Oh I am so sorry Edward" she looked anywhere but me as she spoke.

"Isabella?" I asked firmly

"It is my engagement ring" she held out her hand for me to examine it. "Why did I not listen to Alice? She told me I should tell you as soon as I came here but instead I have been foolish and hidden it. It means nothing Edward, nothing at all. It is just that Jasper asked me why I did not wear it anymore so now I feel that I have no choice but to wear it" I could see tears start to build up in her eyes as she sat on the bed looking defeated "I cannot do anything right these days" she began to pace the room "everything I do seems to upset somebody"

"Beautiful, please stand still so that I can look at you. I cannot pretend that I am happy about this however you have made it perfectly clear how you feel for me and I trust in the fact that you will remedy this problem as quick as is possible"

She wore a shocked expression as she raised her head to look at me.

"You are not angry with me?" the disbelief in her voice was clear. I shook my head and watched as a smile slowly crept across her face. Bella suddenly propelled herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck she tightly embraced me. The momentum her body had built up was enough to cause me to lose my balance. Her hold on me never wavered as we tumbled backwards on to the bed. With her legs in-between mine she place her hands either side of my head to support her weight. She held her face less than an inch from mine and bit her bottom lip. I moved my hands to hold her waist and she took a sharp intake of breath. Her eyes were filled with longing as she held my gaze. My mind was momentarily lost in improper and carnal thoughts.

"I'm sorry Edward, I got a little carried away" she blushed

"With all things considered I do not actually believe getting carried away is such a bad thing"

"Well you have obviously not acknowledged the fact that I could lose my job"

"I beg to differ beautiful. I gave it a lot of consideration and reasoned that if you were to lose your job I could have you all to myself with no interruptions"

"You are nothing if not crafty and insidious Edward" she giggled as she removed her body from mine. "If it is time alone that you crave then I shall extend to you an invite to the Swan family residence"

"It is kind of you to offer but I hardly see how spending time with your family qualifies as time alone. In addition to that fact I believe the presence of a man at your home who is not your fiancé will cause more than a few pairs of raised eyebrows"

"You do not wish to meet my parents?" she looked dreadfully upset.

"That is not the case I..."

"Edward, I was being foolish" she interrupted whilst grinning "My parents are away with friends for a while. I promised them that I would tend to the house whilst they are gone"

"And when is this invitation for?"

"As I said the house will be empty for a while, but I was hoping that this evening was perhaps convenient with you"

I wasted no time in accepting Bella's offer, I desired nothing more than uninterrupted time with her. I practiced with the crutches as we ironed out the finer details, concluding that Bella would inform anyone who asked that she was accompanying me to see a relative who lived nearby. She kissed me upon the cheek and whispered once more that she loved me before departing with promises of returning after her shift had finished.

**XXX**

The journey to Bella's house was not a long one. The taxi driver who had driven us was a very courteous and helpful man. I had not been able to fit my chair into the vehicle; I had no choice but to take the crutches instead. Still very unstable on them the driver had had the decency to help me along the gravelled path to the door of the house.

"I thought it would be nice if we were to make ourselves comfortable in the living room as it has lovely views out on to the garden. When the sun sets in a few hours we could watch it together if you would like?"

"As long as I am with you I do not mind what we do" Bella blushed and indicated the way to the living room. The house was very quaint, the black and white timber of the outside also ran through the inside. The ceilings from what I was able to see, were all beamed and the occasional black beam could also be seen running diagonally across the length of a wall. She opened the heavy wooden door to reveal the living room. It was neither large nor small, bookcases brimming over with books lined the walls. To the left of me was a moderately sized window that looked out on to the front of the house, next to that was a wall of sepia photographs. Directly opposite the entrance to the room was a set of large glass doors offering fantastic views over the beautifully manicured garden. In front of the doors two large sofas were positioned, allowing for whoever was seated to admire the view. Next to the sofas was a small dark wooden table that a wireless sat on.

"Please take a seat Edward, I shall join you very shortly. If you would excuse me for a few moments I shall make us a drink and tend to the chickens" she left through the door that we had just come through.

I decided not to seat myself but to explore the room instead. I turned on the wireless and allowed the dulcet sounds of music fill the room before unsteadily making my way to the wall of photographs. I chuckled to myself as I saw a photograph of a little girl, carrying a bucket and a trowel covered from head to toe in dirt. Despite being no older than four the large eyes and dark ringlets of hair on display gave Bella's identity away. There were several other photographs on the wall, a wedding picture of what I presumed to be Mr and Mrs Swan and some very old pictures that I presumed were Bella's relatives. My attention moved to the bookcase and I perused the titles of the books, Dickens, Shakespeare, Bronte and Austen were but to name a few. My eyes spied at leather bound album, "_Isabella_" was embossed in elegant gold script on the spine. I took the liberty of pulling it from the shelf it called home and taking over to the sofa.

Just as I was about to browse the contents of the album, my eyes caught sight of Bella through the glass doors. She was merrily skipping towards the bottom of the garden, a silver bucket in her hand. I smiled as my thoughts immediately returned to the image of young Bella on the wall. The garden was beautiful. A lovely little rockery was surrounded by green shrubs, a table and a few chairs sat in a clearing next to some ornate hedging. The garden was surrounded by large trees providing a good deal of privacy and it stretched further than my eyes could see. Bella was very lucky to have spent her childhood here, surrounded by nature and vast expanses of open land. The scenery was picturesque in which ever direction you chose to look, life in London differed greatly from this. I was unable to take my eyes off her until she disappeared from sight. I was lost in thought for a while as I imagined myself living somewhere similar to Shrewsbury as opposed to the hustle and bustle of city life. A sudden noise coming from what I presumed to be the kitchen disturbed me from my thoughts and I opened the book and began to turn the pages.

There was a multitude of images of Bella and what appeared to be Nurse Webber at different stages of their lives, as little girls playing together, at school in gingham dresses, at parties and relaxing in the garden. I chuckled to myself as I deduced from the amount of plasters and bandages Bella was wearing in various different pictures that she must have always been clumsy. I was finding great pleasure in seeing specific moments of Bella's life captured forever on paper, seeing the changes as she grew up, noticing that she was always smiling and happy and surrounded by friends.

I turned the page to see a more recent picture of a very smartly dressed Bella. She stood next to a blonde fellow in a suit, their arms were wrapped around each other's waists as they smiled proudly for the camera.

"I see you have found my album" Bella smiled as she put down a tray of tea and biscuits. "That is Michael" she said as she took the seat next to me "He lived at Newton's farm at the bottom of the lane. When I was sixteen he was my first boyfriend, but you have nothing to fear. Our relationship did not even make it to the six month mark. This was taken the Year before last when I attended Michael's wedding in Chester. Shortly after he was married his wife, Jessica, was blessed with beautiful twin girls"

"You appear to have had a very happy life"

"It got even better after I found you, I have been very lucky"

I placed the album next to the wireless and took Bella's hand in mine.

"As usual you look very pretty Isabella" she blushed as I tucked a little loose hair behind her ear. I moved closer to her and placed my lips upon hers. The kissing continued until we unenthusiastically took a short interlude for something to eat. I did not take us long to curl up together once more and begin where we had left off. This time it was not hunger that interrupted us but the taxi to take us back to Bicton. The journey back to the hospital was tense to say the least as I fought to keep my hands and my lips from Bella's delicious skin.

"I hope you do not believe that I am being too forward, but I have thoroughly enjoyed myself this evening. I was wondering if you would like to do it again tomorrow." Bella asked when we had returned to my room.

"It would be an honour beautiful"

She smiled and left.

I awoke the next morning eagerly awaiting Bella's visit. I was impatiently aching for her touch and craving her lips upon mine, I could not wait to drink in her scent and bask in her company. I looked at my watch, it was nearing eleven and she was nearing an hour late. I decided to take matters into my own hands and make my way to the entrance hall in hope of satiating my increasing thirst for her. I was just about to push open the door into the entrance hall when I heard raised voices.

"You cannot control me, you have no say over who I spend my time with" I could hear Bella shouting.

"You are my fiancé" an angry voice shouted back.

"I agreed to marry you not to become your possession" she spat.

From behind me a hand was placed upon my shoulder, I turned to see Alice

"I could hear raised voices, is everything ok?" her voice was edged with concern

"I am unsure, I have only just arrived here myself but it appears Bella and Private Whitlock are arguing"

"You mentioned nothing of the fact that you wished to spend the evening together. I cannot read minds Jasper. Did you not think to telephone or send a telegram? Even a carrier pigeon would have sufficed" Bella was shouting once more.

"Isabella Swan you are being utterly ludicrous" Jasper bellowed nastily at her. His tone caused me to stiffen in my chair, nobody should speak to Bella in that manner. I placed my hands upon the wheels of my chair intend on bursting through the doors and protecting my girl.

"I don't think that it is wise Edward" Alice noticed my hands on my wheels and "In addition to his inherent handsomeness Jasper seems rather angry today. I think that it is best that I deal with this, after all I am a much prettier distraction than you" she smiled suspiciously while straightening out the frilly collar of her dress

"Alice!" I exclaimed with raised eyebrows "You are nothing but a common floozy"

"I am most certainly not common" She giggled before leaving my side.

I made my way back to my room in time to see a cheerful Alice and a very irate looking Jasper walking away from the hospital together.

When Bella arrived at my room I decided it was best not to mention what I had overheard. She informed me a taxi would be arriving in around twenty minutes. We sat in silence in my room and throughout the car journey, in fact the silence lasted until she sat down with a huff upon the sofa opposite me.

"Beautiful is something wrong?"

"Yesterday whilst we were here Jasper came looking for me at the hospital. Alice told him I was otherwise occupied with work duties but he became very angry. This morning I was late coming to you because he decided to pay me a visit, seemingly with the intention to do nothing but shout at me. In the end Alice had to gently persuade him to leave the hospital with her" she sighed "I am very worried about him, he is not himself. Never before has he shouted at me" she paused a little "Alice believes that he could be suffering from shellshock"

"Would you rather we returned so you could be at his side?" I asked begrudgingly. Her head shot up as if I had said something most obscene

"I would rather not be anywhere near him at this present moment in time, shellshock or no shellshock he has made me frightfully angry"

I opened my arms to her and she made herself at home in them. We embraced for a long while before Bella suggested that she make some lunch. After we had eaten out time was taken up with conversing and kissing, we were hidden from the outside world lost in our own paradise. It had been the perfect day until the taxi disturbed us and reminded us both that we must return to the hospital.

When we pulled up outside of the hospital doors and exited the car I was most shocked to see an enormous bouquet of flowers walking towards me. I rubbed my eyes hoping that the hallucination would fade away, but still the mobile flower arrangement got closer.

"Bella these are for you" Alice's voice spoke from behind the huge array of flowers. As she thrust the flowers upon Bella her face became visible. She wore a worried expression "Edward I need to speak with you immediately, privately. I have your wheelchair waiting" she hurried into the entrance hall. I gently squeezed Bella's hand before Alice whisked me to my room.

"What is the cause for this urgency Alice?" my voice betraying a little of the panic that had been building inside of my chest.

"Do you have plans for tomorrow evening" I shook my head in the knowledge that Bella was accompanying Nurse Hale out for the evening. "Would you accompany me to a dance?"

"That is the emergency? You wish to go to a dance and desire a partner?"

"It is not that simple Edward. I do not wish to upset you when I say this, well maybe just a little, but if it was only a dance partner I required then you would not be my first choice" she smiled quickly before continuing "Bella and Jasper are going and I..."

"I'm sorry Alice" I abruptly interjected "I have no wish to sit and watch them play the happy couple"

"I am worried about Bella and I need you to be there for her. I have spent the day with Private "pleasing on the eye" Whitlock and as charming as he is, I fear that he is suffering from shellshock" she continued to explain herself until I reluctantly agreed to accompany her. "One more thing Edward please do not mention to Bella that you will be accompanying me, I do not wish to cause her alarm"

"You have my word Alice, although if I am honest with you I think it would cause her more alarm to find that you are smitten with her fiancé"

"That is purely speculation Edward, I am yet to confirm or deny those rumours" she briefly left the room before poking her head back around the door "And do dress nicely Edward, I don't not wish to attend a dance with an unfashionable partner"

"Good night Alice" I groaned.

**XXX**

The day had gone quickly I had seen barely anything of Bella as she was kept busy on shift, it would not surprise me if Alice had had something to do with that issue. I had watched Bella, Nurse Webber and Nurse Hale all looking very glamorous climb into a taxi and depart. I had dressed in my uniform and styled my quite frankly unruly hair and was apprehensively awaiting Alice's arrival. I was feeling apprehensive for a number of reasons, the most pressing being that I had no idea how I was going to keep my hands away from Bella. Having already seen her in the grounds awaiting a taxi wearing a wondrously flattering figure hugging blue dress, I knew it was not going to be easy. Secondly there was the issue of her being with Jasper, which was sure to test my temper. On top of that was the issue of looking striking enough for Alice.

"Well, well Edward you do scrub up nicely" she chortled as she made her way into my room.

"You do not look bad yourself Alice" I said as I eyed the dress she was wearing. The top half was a deep red colour until just underneath her bust wear it changed to a navy blue colour.

"The taxi is outside, are you ready to depart?"

I nodded

Luckily I was getting much better on my crutches so I did not look too foolish as I made my way into the dance hall. Alice stood proudly at my side. She spied Bella sat with Nurse Hale, Emmett and Jasper all sat around a large table with their backs towards us, and pulled me in their direction.

"Good evening everyone." All heads turned as Alice announced our arrival. I watched as Bella's mouth dropped open with shock. Her eyes flickered towards Jasper in case I had forgotten that she was with him. I rolled my eyes and nodded in Alice's direction, hoping that she would understand that I was almost forced to attend "I would like to introduce you all to my date for the evening, Lance Corporal Cullen"

Emmett and Jasper swiftly stood up eager to shake my hand and wish me a good evening, whilst Nurse Hale and Bella shuffled in their seats to make room for me to sit. From the corner of my eye I could see Nurse Webber and her companion happily spinning on the dance floor.

I was speaking with Emmett when Jasper spoke

"Excuse me Lance Corporal" he leant across me and held out his hand towards Bella "Would you care to join me for this dance my darling" she looked up and accepted his offer with a smile. I was impressed by my own self control although my temper flared and my lip curled into a snarl I was able to keep reasonably calm and composed. I reassured myself that it was my arms she wished to be in, not his. As I continued to speak with Emmett I could not help but torture myself by keeping one eye on my girl as she danced with her fiancé. Every time he spun her around or whispered in her ear, every time she smiled and laughed my stomach twisted into tight knots. The only thing that prevented the contents of my stomach putting in an appearance was that Nurse Hale called my name and offered me a glass of ale.

"Thank you Nurse Hale, how much do I owe you?"

"You owe me nothing" she smiled "Think of it as a peace offering" I had to admit I was quite taken aback by her generosity after all drinks were not cheap and a nurse's wages were not much.

"I shall get you the next one then" I smiled.

Nurse Hale and I were deeply involved in a silly conversation regarding how many glasses of drink we would have to ply Emmett with before he would take to the dance floor and entertain the crowd with a little burlesque dancing when Alice joined us.

"Do my eyes deceive me? Do I see Edward and Rose laughing together?"

"Yes you do" Rose smiled "And if you had told me just how entertaining the Lance Corporal could be then this would have happened a lot sooner"

I nodded my head in agreement with her statement. Nurse Hale had left me no choice to admit that my previous impressions of her were most definitely incorrect. Once you got past her the defensive walls she surrounded herself with she was a pleasure to be with and very witty.

"Dare I ask what you are laughing about?"

"Nurse Hale and I are debating how many drinks it would take for Emmett to put on a burlesque show on the dance floor. I think at least eight pints where as she believes no more than six"

Alice paused pensively whilst holding her chin and examining Emmett.

"Judging by the enormous size of him I would say eleven or twelve" she giggled.

I felt a hand run across the back of my shoulders, I had no need to turn around I already knew that it was Bella. She placed herself in the seat next to me.

"What a pleasure to see you here Edward. Are you enjoying yourself?" I could see Alice smiling to herself as Bella spoke to me. Alice then turned to Rose and they began pointing and giggling at some of the men on the dance floor before joining the dancers themselves.

"Yes thank you Nurse Swan, so far it has been a most enjoyable evening. You look ravishing as usual. And your fiancé, is he enjoying himself whilst he holds you close and kisses you?"

"Edward stop it, stop it now" she scolded in hushed whispered "I dislike this set up as much as you do"

"Speak of the devil and he will appear" I said bitterly as I looked over Bella's shoulder to see Jasper making his way through the crowd of dancers with two very beautiful girls in his wake.

"Bella darling, this is Marcy. I believe you met at my funeral" he chuckled "and this is a good friend of Marcy and I, Annie"

"Hello again Marcy, you are looking wonderful" she beamed at the brunette before standing and kissing both her cheeks "Nice to meet you Annie"

"Marcy and Annie this is Lance Corporal Cullen. He is a good friend of my Bella's"

Marcy was first to walk up to me and offer me her hand. I took it in mine and placed a soft kiss upon it.

"Nice to meet you Marcy, I hope I will not over step the mark if I say you look frightfully pretty this evening"

"Not at all Lance Corporal" she giggled and twirled allowing me a better look at the button up navy blue cocktail dress. It was fitted around the waist to highlight her curvy silhouette and ample bust. The sleeves reached just above her elbows allowing everyone to see the pretty bracelets she wore around her wrists and she wore the top button undone to expose her neck. She took a seat next to Bella who was now seated on the opposite side of the table from me.

Annie followed suit and I placed a kiss on her hand and complemented her on her appearance, before she sat down next to me.

Jasper and Marcy departed from the table to dance next to Alice and Rose in front of the band.

Bella discreetly glared at me from the other side of the table as I spoke with Annie. Although her constant stare made me a little uncomfortable I could not blame her for it, Annie was an astoundingly attractive girl and a very friendly one to boot. She had short dark auburn coloured hair that was styled in neat waves, finishing when they reached her earlobes. Her skin was fair and flawless, adorable freckles peppered her nose and her green eyes sparkled brightly. Underneath a woollen black bolero she wore a beautiful low cut red halter neck sweet heart dress that finished just below her knees. A lacy black petticoat hung an inch or so below the hem of her dress and silky black material was gathered across the neck line to accentuate her full bust.

Once I had managed to block out Bella's glare I was able to concentrate solely on Annie. Placing her black silk gloved hand upon my arm she told me that she lived locally and was the daughter of a farmer. The farm was situated next door to Marcy's house in a small village called Minsterley. She was well acquainted with both Jasper and Emmett, having known both of them since they were little children. It was interesting to hear that until Emmett was around eleven years old he had been of average size.

"What happened to him after that I do not know, surely no one should be that large. Perhaps he was given a course of tainted medication?" she jested.

"Annie my dear would you care for another drink?"

"That would be lovely. Thank you Lance Corporal" she smiled, only adding to her beauty.

"Please call me Edward. I have the damned crutches to take with me so would you mind awfully accompanying me to the bar?"

"It would be my pleasure"

I could feel Bella's eyes boring into my back the entire time I was at the bar with Annie. When we returned Bella gave me a look of utter distain before flouncing from the table to join Angela on the opposite side of the room. I chuckled at her childishness, after all it was perfectly acceptable for her to keep up the pretence that she loved Jasper, but unacceptable for me to speak with a girl. Although I felt a bad for Bella there was nothing I could do, I could not follow her and offer her any affection or reassurance without arousing suspicion. Annie and I had not been alone for long when we were joined by Alice, Nurse Hale, Emmett, Marcy and a very peculiar acting Jasper.

**So there is a big surprise in the next chapter that I'm not sure any of you will expect!**

**I'll be adding some more pics to the album on facebook, if you guys wanna look!**

**As always thanx for reading and let me know what you think**

**Magenta xxx**


	31. Chapter 31

_**A special thanks to my awesome beta,**____**acacia6583, if you haven't read her two stories then you really should. **_

_**Unfortunately I still don't own Twilight!**_

_**Thanx so much for all you lovely reviews! **_

_**Ok are you ready for the surprise/ twist in the tale... brace yourselves...**_

Bella 

"I had a feeling I would be spending time in your company this evening" Alice smiled as she opened her bedroom door with a book in her hand. I glimpsed at the spine of the book to see that she was reading something by Daphne Du Maurier "Bella would you care to explain what on earth is going on between you and Edward and Jasper?"

I began to recount the events of Christmas day and how I had confessed my feelings for Edward. I explained that we had agreed to wait at least until Ben had left so I would not appear too heartless in the eyes of others.

"From the display I was witness to earlier you appear not to be the best at waiting" she giggled

"I have nothing to say in my defence other than Edward's charm in conjunction with a little of his handsomeness brings out my impatient side. But Jasper's return has put me in an awful pickle. I do not want to break Jasper's heart, but if I am to follow my own heart and be with Edward I do not see that I have any other alternative"

"There are always other alternatives Bella" she spoke whilst appearing lost in thought

"And they are?"

"In all honesty I have not one idea. I was just repeating something my Grandmother used to say. Obviously I have taken the liberty of replacing my name with yours, as far as I can recall she never once called me Bella" she chuckled

"Alice have you been drinking?"

"NO" she exclaimed. I raised my eyebrows at her "Maybe one or two" she admitted "Honestly, I cannot find one man yet you have two."

"That is very observant of you Alice, but I fail to see how that is supposed to help me"

"You have a valid point. Leave it with me I shall mull things over." She began to wander back and forth in front of her window "For now I advise you to be as normal as you possibly can be with Jasper and be honest with Edward he does not appreciate being left in the dark. I will also advise you to have a glass of this delicious wine I have been partaking in"

I agreed to stop for one glass of wine with her. I informed Alice of the circumstances regarding Jasper's disappearance and the nature of our conversation in the cafe. Alice told me in no uncertain terms that no matter how much I disliked it I would have to start wearing my engagement ring again.

"I suppose I had best leave you now" I sipped at the last of my wine

"Bella be sure to tell Edward that you are wearing your engagement ring again" she spoke as I was making my way to the door "if you neglect to do so I am fairly sure that it will only lead to more heartache. It is a sure fact that dealing with both Edward's heartache and your problems will only lead me to drink more wine"

"Thank you Alice. I shall see you in the morning" with that I closed the door and made my way to my own room.

Although I cared for Alice deeply and was grateful of her help I could not help but long for Angela's company. It was not that I believed that Angela could offer me better advice than Alice on my problems. In fact she would not be able to give me any advice because I had kept my relationship with Edward a secret from her, she knew of my feelings for him but nothing more. It was that she always knew how to comfort me and how to make me feel better about myself. Angela without fail always knew the right words to say. However I was not selfish or cruel enough to wish for her to come to my aid as she was spending the next few days away from the hospital with Ben and her family. I was fully aware that she was truly deserving of spending her time with them. Instead I put on my night clothes and collapsed in an ill-tempered huff onto my bed.

**XXX**

I was not an early morning person as it was, and the cold dark mornings did nothing but make it increasingly difficult for me to remove myself from my warm and cosy safe haven. After I was dressed I made my way over to the window and wearily picked up my engagement ring. I held it in my hand momentarily admiring its beauty before reluctantly placing it back on my finger. My hand instantly felt unpleasantly heavy and uncomfortable. Although the ring still fit my finger perfectly it no longer belonged there, it caused my poor finger to ache a tremendous amount. At least Atlas was able to take the weight of the world across his shoulders; I had to bear it all upon one finger.

I made my way downstairs with the girls as normal.

It did not take me long to realise that today we would have more work to carry than usual due to Angela's absence. I liked to be fair on the ward so I decided to let Alice and Rose choose the tasks that they would like to do, leaving myself to do the left over jobs.

"I am perfectly happy to see to the bed baths" Alice chirped energetically leading me to wonder to myself where she found her vast amounts of energy from. "I'm sure Rose would not object to be on bathing duty, leaving you with the dressing changes"

"That is agreeable with me. Rose what are your thoughts?" I looked at Rose who appeared preoccupied with grinning like a mad woman at a small crack in the plaster of the nurse's station's wall. "Rose?" she turned to look at Alice and I with a confused expression on her face "Although that little crack is undoubtedly more entertaining than working you cannot spend the entire shift staring at it" I said playfully

"I am terribly sorry, I appear to have drifted off there for a moment. How can I be of service?"

"Would you object to bathing duty this morning Nurse Daydream?"

"Not at all, I shall start running a bath now" Alice and I stared in confusion at each other as she skipped merrily down the corridor.

"Emmett" we said in unison.

After I had changed more bandages than I care to mention. I made my way to the store room to collect a pair of crutches for Edward. The store room was cold and dingy. It was located in the cellar of the hospital so lacked all natural light. As well as being filled full of equipment the ceiling was also home to a plethora of cobwebs, some of which were so filled with dust they took on the appearance of being there from before I was born. It had always seemed a little peculiar to me that in the company of so many cobwebs that I had never once seen a spider in the cellar. I carefully descended the uneven stone steps and made my way over to the crutches. There were several pairs lined up against the wall I chose the ones that I deemed most suitable for Edward's height. I desperately hoped I was right as they were horribly fiddly things to alter. I carried them to the top of the steps before deciding to return inside to retrieve the bags of equipment I would possibly need if they were to warrant altering.

I struggled down the corridor of the ward carrying my awkward load. I knocked upon the door to Edward's room and decided to invite myself in planning on quickly ridding myself of the cumbersome burden. I found my plan to be lacking somewhat as I could not get through the door. My levels of frustration and annoyance grew each time I attempted to get through the door. The fact that each time I tried I was hit on the head by one of the crutches did not help me either. To add insult to injury Edward and Alice did nothing to assist me, instead they decided it was more helpful to crease up with laughter.

"Well I am glad you both find my struggle amusing, I for one do not" I spat in their direction

Thoroughly annoyed with just about everything I threw my load on to the floor and stomped of in the direction of the nurse's station, but not before I received yet another bang on the head from the crutch. I slammed the door of the nurse's station shut behind me to signify just how jolly well vexed I was, only for it to bounce back out of its frame and hit me on the bottom. I could take this no longer, rubbing my inevitably bruised bottom I decided to vent some of my frustration in the form of an astoundingly loud scream that was sure to echo around not only the corridors of my ward but of a good few others as well.

"Bella is everything alright?" Alice asked timidly whilst poking her head around the door.

"No it is not. It has become apparent that I do not cope well under pressure" Alice took a seat in front of me as I slid down the wall to sit on my tender bottom.

"Is that all?"

"What do you mean is that all" I had purposely misconstrued her concern in order to vent a little more of my annoyance "I was trying my best to be organised but as usual good fortune was not one my side. I have definitely acquired a bruised backside if not a bruised forehead as well. On top of that I have a fiancé and a boyfriend to contend with." I sighed before continuing in a more subdued manner "It has all gone wrong, everything has all gone so terribly wrong. I was just trying to be happy with Edward and to make him happy but it has all gone dreadfully askew" my temper flared once more as I threw my hand up in the air "This darn ring is burning my finger with pure unadulterated wrongness. Oh Alice I wish I was so happy and carefree like you"

"I was not always like this Bella and sometimes it is incredibly hard to keep my chin up" I looked up at her feeling perplexed "A while ago I made a promise to someone. That promise was to be happy and enjoy my life, on occasion I have to try very hard to keep my word although admittedly it does seem to get a little easier as each day goes by"

"Alice? I do not understand what you are saying"

"Do you remember a while ago when I bought you those dresses?" I nodded "I told you some I loved had left me some money?" I nodded once more "That person was my love, his name was Demetri. He died in my arms a little over two years ago now" She continued to inform me the sad tale of Demetri and a single tear fell from her eye. "What I am trying to tell you Bella is to try your very hardest to be happy with what you have got because you never know when it shall be cruelly taken from you. If suffering a few days of wearing that ring means that you avoid breaking Jasper's heart while securing Edward as yours then that is what you must do"

"I am so sorry Alice, I truly had no idea that any of this had happened to you" I embraced her tightly.

"I do not like to talk about it. Although, as I said before my pain eases a little more with each day that passes. Now please go to Edward and make him happy"

**XXX**

I chuckled to myself as I cantered towards the bottom of the garden, replaying the events of the afternoons in my mind. The actuality that Edward had been so accepting of the fact that I was once again wearing my engagement ring caused me a significant amount of surprise and an equal amount of delight. So much delight in fact that I accidently knocked him off his feet and almost ended up straddling him upon his bed. I am not entirely sure how but nonetheless my rarely seen confident side decided to make herself known and I invited Edward to my home. The way that he had so readily accepted my invite had caused me even more delight but this time I managed to keep myself a little more composed, at least until I saw Alice. Alice squealed with joy as I told her that if anyone was to enquire about my whereabouts that she was to invent a relative for Edward that we had gone to visit for the evening.

Eager to return to the handsome man sat in the living room, I fed the dozen or so chickens quickly not stopping to talk to them as I usually would. I swiftly closed the door to the enclosure behind me and galloped back to the house. Once I had returned to the kitchen the excitement of being alone with Edward got the better of me and I dropped the metal bucket I had been carrying. It made a deafening clang when it hit the tiled floor. At least it was empty and not filled with seeds I chuckled to myself before I picked it up and set about making a drink.

I found Edward where I had left him only now his was browsing a photo album my mother had compiled for me as an eighteenth birthday present. We looked at it together until we reached the end of my life in pictures. Edward took my hands and kissed me. It was a very liberating experience knowing that no one would disturb us or intrude on our intimacy. The pot of tea went cold as it was almost impossible to keep our lips apart. It was if I was living a fairly tale, my valiant prince had killed the dragon and rescued me leaving us to enjoy living out our happily ever after. Reality swiftly bought me back down to earth when the taxi tooted its horn to signify it was time to return to the hospital.

**XXX**

Edward's acceptance of yet another invite to my parent's house left me feeling as if I was floating up the staircase. Just as I had placed my foot on the top step Alice burst out of her room looking a little panicked. In almost no time at all she closed the distance between us and took a strong hold of my arm in order to pull me into her room.

"Oh Bella. Whilst you were out Jasper came to the hospital to see you." she closed the door firmly behind her as my elation was quickly replaced with panic "I did as I promised and told him you were supporting a patient to see a relative. I think that he believed my story"

"If he believed you then I fail to see what all the panic in aid of"

"Bella I do not think Jasper has returned in perfect health. At first when I told him of your absence he got dreadfully paranoid that you were having an affair with someone. He kept shouting that he would fight for you and never let you go yet in the same sentence he was saying that he no longer loved you but dreaded breaking your heart." she sighed and hesitated before continuing "When I was speaking with him his mood swiftly alternated between happiness and downright aggressiveness. He seemed unable to sit still for any length of time, if he was not playing with his fingers or shaking his leg he was pacing the room. When I made a quick or sudden movement he would flinch... I think Jasper is suffering from shellshock"

"Poor Jasper" I held my hands over my mouth. I paused for a short while as my brain started to process all the information I had been given. "It is inevitable that I shall sound heartless and cruel when I say this but it is not my intention. Shellshock is a terrible affliction but you know as well as I that it is not a permanent one. I will not be forced to stay with a man I no longer love because he is ill, with the right care he will recover and lead a normal life. A normal life without me"

"I was not suggesting that you do, I just wished you to be aware of the situation and advice you to tread carefully around him that is all" Alice's voice was timid.

I smiled before leaving her room and retiring to my own.

**XXX**

It had taken me a long time to fall asleep. I could not be restful instead I tossed and turned until I was so utterly exhausted I had no other option left than to sleep. I was abruptly awoken by a loud tap at the window and then another one and a louder one followed after that. I made my way to the window and pulled back my curtains to be confronted with the image of a rather peeved looking Jasper.

"Isabella Swan, come down at once I wish to speak to you as a matter of urgency. If you know what is best you shall not delay girl" he shouted aggressively whilst dropping a handful of the stones he had been throwing at my window.

"Private Whitlock" I called down after I had opened the window "I do not appreciate your tone, I shall come down when I am good and ready" I harshly pulled the window closed before opening it once more "Just so you are aware I do have a door, feel free to knock it next time"

I did not like Jasper's tone, not one bit. Possible shellshock or not it was no excuse to forget your manners. Although it would certainly mean I would be late getting to Edward I was in no mood to hurry down stairs to Jasper so I took a great amount of time readying myself for the day ahead. I slowly washed and dressed myself before adding the final touches to my hair and peeking out of the window to see Jasper pacing the path. I looked at the clock to see that I had been a little over three quarters of an hour. Still feeling most perturbed by my wakeup call and more than a little awkward I decided that Jasper had not had a long enough wait. I made myself comfortable in my chair and picked up a book to read. After twenty minutes of reading I was feeling rather chuffed with myself so I decided to make my way downstairs.

"And I very good morning to you too Jasper" I spoke with a great amount of sarcasm as I opened the doors leading to the garden and made my way down the steps "May I ask what the urgency is?"

"Would you care to explain where exactly where you spent last night?" he snapped

"I was in my bed"

"Stop being so facetious and answer my bloody question"

"Jasper...erm...Whitlock. Yes, it would appear I do not actually know your middle name but nevertheless I do not appreciate being spoken to as you are speaking to me. Good day to you" I turned my back on him and began making my way back inside.

"I came to see you and you were not here. Where were you?" he growled as he made his way closer to me.

"Not that it should matter to you or anyone else who happens to be witnessing your embarrassing display, but I was supporting a patient to see a family member in town" with that I made my way into the entrance hall all too aware that he was not far behind me.

"I do not want you fraternising with other men. I strongly suggest you do not undertake that task again"

"You cannot control me, you have no say over who I spend my time with" I shouted loudly as I finally lost what was left of my temper. I watched as Jasper flinched at the volume of my voice.

"You are my fiancé"

"I agreed to marry you not to become your possession" even though I was aware that the dreadfully angry man that stood before me was not Jasper and it was nothing more than a symptom of shellshock I was still struggling to keep a hold of what little composure I had.

"I wished to spend the evening with you and you purposely went out gallivanting"

"Purposely?" I said incredulously "Purposely? You are being so very paranoid. You mentioned nothing of the fact that you wished to spend the evening together. I cannot read minds Jasper. Did you not think to telephone or send a telegram? Even a carrier pigeon would have sufficed"

"Isabella Swan you are being utterly ludicrous, you know perfectly well I am not I'm possession of a carrier pigeon" I tried very hard to stifle my laugh at his last statement as he continued to berate me about my apparent insubordination.

The door to the ward opened as Alice danced happily into the entrance hall.

"Children, children" she tutted with her hands resting on her hips "Do I have to send you to opposite corners of the room to calm yourselves or can we end this amicably?" Jasper attempted to open his mouth to speak but Alice interrupted him before he could get out his words "I mean you no disrespect Private Whitlock but I do not wish to hear it. If both of you are going to continue this silliness then I have no choice but to ask you to leave"

I said nothing as I stormed out of the hall and in to the ward. As I leant up against the back of the door I could hear Jasper continue with his tirade and Alice cheerfully trying her hardest to persuade him to leave the hospital. I decided to leave them to it before I said something I would later regret and made my way to the nurse's station to order a much needed taxi to take me away from here.

My time away from the hospital with Edward had been all to brief. Although once I had explained about my ordeal with Jasper Edwards lips took me far away from my troubles to an all to pleasant place.

When we had returned to the hospital Alice had deposited an enormous bouquet of flowers upon me before hurrying off with Edward. Navigating the staircase whilst carrying the flowers proved a difficult task, I could not see through the arrangement of roses and gerberas nor could I see over it or under it. After a quick deliberation I decided it was best to sit on the step and push myself up. It was definitely not an elegant way to ascend the stairs but it would certainly prevent a fall. Once I had entered my room I laid the flowers on my chair and removed a little card from the centre of the bunch.

_My dearest Bella,_

_Please accept my sincerest apologies_

_Jasper_

I would need a lot more than flowers to forgive his rudeness but I could not deny that they were a definite start. Despite my best efforts not even a quarter of the bouquet would fit in my vase so decided to share their beauty. Armed with two smaller bunches of flowers I stealthy snuck into Alice's and Rose's room and took advantages of their empty vases. I was still left with a handful of flowers so I placed them in Angela's room ready for her return in the morning. Feeling terribly proud of my spontaneous kindness I retired to bed.

**XXX**

I was pleased to have Angela back on shift and utterly elated that after spending time with Ben she had decided to get married in the spring instead of waiting until after the war. My shift sped quickly passed. What with the discharge of a patient, the admission of a new patient and Alice's unusual need for assistance in her duties I had not one chance to see Edward. Even after I had finished my shift Alice whisked me up stairs with Angela and Rose so we could all get ready for the dance together.

"Girls, your taxi is here" Alice said whilst peering from my bedroom window "You had best make your way down stairs now"

"Are you not coming Alice?" a concerned Angela asked.

"Indeed I am but I shall be catching a later taxi." A sly smile appeared across her face "I shall be there shortly girls" she called out whilst scurrying from my room.

The taxi ride was full of conspiracy theories regarding Alice's strange behaviour. Ideas such as Alice having a secret male friend or that perhaps she was a spy for the British government or even the German one were bounced around the vehicle until we settled on the fact that Alice had always been strange. Just before the taxi pulled up outside the hall Rose expressed just how nervous she was at meeting Emmett's previous girlfriend, Annie. Angela and I told her she was being a little silly and that all would be fine.

"But what if she is prettier than me? What if Emmett still has feelings for her? You must bear in mind that this is the first time he will have set eyes upon her since she ended their affair" Rose's worry was apparent in her voice.

"More beautiful than you?" I scoffed "From what little I have seen of you and Emmett together it is more than obvious he only has eyes for you Rose."

"I think you should be more worried about the fact that Alice is a German Spy" Angela jested.

"Actually that could work in your favour Rose. If in fact Alice is a spy she would be no doubt trained in fighting, so if Annie does behave inappropriately then we can set Alice on her"

The taxi was filled with laughter at my comment; even our driver joined had a little chortle.

Jasper, Ben and Emmett all stood outside the brown bricked village hall as the taxi ground to a halt. Emmett and Ben walked forward and opened the vehicle doors before offering their assistance to their respective partners. Both Emmett and Ben offered me their assistance when they saw that Jasper was still leaning upon the wall of the building with his head hung down. I pulled Ben in to a tight embrace and declared how nice it was to see him again and he returned my sentiments.

"It never ceases to amaze me how absolutely wonderful you look when you put your mind to it Bella" Emmett said as he kissed me on my cheek.

"Are you insinuating that I do not normally look wonderful Pilot Whitlock?"

"Not at all Nurse Swan, I merely mean to say that my brother is a lucky man" he chuckled before whispering in my ear "I think that Jasper would like to speak to you alone so we shall make our way inside. If you need me you know where I am"

"Thank you Emmett, your kindness is much appreciated."

I stood still while I watched the two happy couples make their way inside into the warm. Jasper took a few careful steps forward before speaking my name. I forced a smile in his direction.

"Did you receive my flowers?"

"Yes they are very beautiful, but they do not make up for your appalling behaviour Jasper."

"I am more than aware of that fact which is why I stand before you now. I am truly sorry for yesterday I do not know what came over me. I just... well... I... I" I could see his hand tremble as he nervously ran his hand through his hair. He closed the distance between us a little more "I have been a little out of sorts since my return. I wish for you to believe me when I say it will never happen again, I wish for you to forgive me also"

I wished to be harsh and tell him straight that I although I forgave him our relationship was over I loved someone else now but I could not. The man stood before me was no longer Jasper he was a broken man, I could not find it in myself to break him further.

"If I have your word then you have my forgiveness"

He smiled warmly and took my hand as we walked into the hall together.

The atmosphere inside was warm and lively, we stopped briefly to admire the band at the front of the hall before locating our friends. Emmett had kindly been to the bar and bought everyone a drink before he began enquiring into the whereabouts of Alice. The entire table roared with laughter as the girls and I shared our thoughts on Alice. Angela and Ben excused themselves and took to the dance floor. They were so happy and care free that I could not help but be envious and wish that Edward was here and that it was him I was sat next to.

"Good evening everyone." Alice's voice chirped over the music. I turned to see that Alice was stood with Edward. Seemingly my wish had been granted Edward was here, only not in the way I had hoped. I stared at him incredulously my eyes flicking from him and then to Jasper as Alice introduced him as her date.

After everyone had greeted Alice and her _**date**_ I accepted Jasper's invitation to dance.

Jasper had not lost his prowess on the dance floor. He moved infinitely more confidently than I did, with carefully controlled movements he made even me appear rather graceful on the dance floor. Occasionally he would pull me close and would whisper about a particular fond memory into my ear or tell me how much he had missed dancing with me. I despite my eyes longing to focus on Edward I would not let them, it hurt me to do so but I owed Jasper my undivided attention.

After dancing to two songs Jasper announced that he had a matter to attend to and that he would be back as soon as he could. I made my way back to our table where I could see Rose, Alice and Edward all laughing together. I ran my hand surreptitiously across his shoulders as I sat down next to him. We spoke briefly before Jasper made his way over to the table in the company of Marcy and another strikingly beautiful lady. Marcy yet again looked wonderful in her navy blue cocktail dress. I was starting to wonder if she would be the only girl in the country in possession of fashion sense to rival Alice's. Annie seemed pleasant enough when I greeted her, although if my instincts were right she was a little tipsy. I could easily see why Emmett had been attracted to her, she was confident and pretty and her figure was amazing. I was somewhat grateful that Rose had left the table and was dancing with Alice.

Marcy was eager to sit and speak with me as if we were old school friends. I had to admit that I was fond of her and she seemingly was fond of me. I doubted she would be so nice if she knew my heart no longer belonged to Jasper and that I was soon going to end our relationship, so I planned to make the most of our friendship while it lasted. Jasper interrupted our conversation when he invited Marcy to dance leaving me sat alone. From the corner of my eye I could see Edward sat with Annie. The more I watched them the more apparent it became that she was flirting with him. I was not amused. In fact I was downright out raged, how dare she behave as she was in front of me. I hastily reminded myself that she knew nothing of mine and Edward's feelings for each other. I tried to concentrate on watching the dancing but I could not help but glare at her as she placed her hand upon his arm. I wanted nothing more than to stand up and shout that he was mine before issuing her with a sharp slap across the face. I watched them wander across to the bar together, when they returned they were laughing like old acquaintances. I quickly decided that I did not like Annie and that I no longer wished to be anywhere near her. Heavily disappointed that Alice was not a spy trained in combat, I stomped my way across the dance floor to speak with Angela and Ben before I said something that I would regret. Angela excused herself so she could visit the bathroom leaving me alone with Ben. It had been a long time since I had enjoyed the pleasure of Ben's company and I was pleased, that even if it was only for a short time, that he was back. I had missed his dry sense of humour, his kindness and the way he treated Angela like she was a princess. There was no question about it, Ben Cheney was a gentleman through and through.

"Do not patronise me" I heard Jaspers voice yell from across the room. He had been becoming increasingly restless as the evening had progressed but I had no idea he was going to erupt in the middle of the dance "Do not touch me." I turned to see him struggling to release himself from Emmett's grip on his arm "Anyone can see the way he is looking at her and _**she**_ is mine" he bellowed.

My stomach sank when it dawned upon me he must have been talking about Edward, although how he had found out about us was still a mystery. I wished to run across the room and throw myself in front of Edward, who was still happily sat with little Miss Apparently Promiscuous. I allowed myself to ponder the fact that perhaps if I was to throw myself hard enough I could save Edward from Jasper whilst simultaneously causing her some form of injury. During my brief lapse of concentration things had changed dramatically. I was rather glad I had not thrown myself in front of Edward as it was Ben's name that Jasper was calling angrily as he made his way over to us. The room was suddenly deathly silent, nobody but my friends were moving. The events that started to unfold before me appeared to be occurring in slow motion. Jasper was angrily closing the distance between himself and Ben whilst behind him I could see Emmett was desperate to stop him. Emmett efforts were being hindered by a very worried looking Rose grasping at his arm. Ben gently yet forcefully pushed me behind him and stood protectively in front of me. Jasper was getting close now and Emmett was too far behind to stop him.

"Bella is mine" he roared whilst raising his fist.

My heart was pounding far too loudly to allow me to hear Ben's response but I could see that it had no effect on Jaspers misplaced fury. From my position behind Ben I screamed for Jasper to stop but my efforts were in vain. I could not allow Ben to receive a punch, he had done nothing to deserve it. Jasper began to draw back his arm and swing it forward, I screamed in vain once more before I freed myself and made way in front of Ben. If any one deserved to be hit it was me for my appalling behaviour.

"Jasper stop this nonsense" I screamed but it was too late.

I could see the terrified look on Jasper's face as his fist grew ever closer to my face instead of the face of Ben. I closed my eyes tightly and braced myself in the knowledge that I would be lucky to escape with a just broken cheek bone. I felt a sharp and painful blow to my chest. I wished to scream out with pain but the blow forced all the air to swiftly evacuate my lungs leaving me speechless. I began to fall backwards but my fall was cushioned by a pair of arms that took hold of me. Confused as to why I had not hit the floor with a dreadful bump and to why Jaspers fist had connected with my chest my eyes quickly opened darting about the room as quick as possible. I was on the floor being cradled in the arms of Ben as Emmett wrestled on the floor with Jasper. Ben repeatedly asked me if I was ok but I was still unable to speak. I watched Emmett trying to drag Jasper outside. He was stood behind Jasper with his arm around his neck. Jasper was desperately crying out into the silent room that he was sorry, even when he was outside I could still hear his voice calling.

I took my eyes away from the door to see that a worried looking crowd had gathered around me. I tried to scramble to my feet to make my way outside and stop the fight that was most likely to be occurring between the two brothers, but Ben would not loosen his grip on me. Alice and Rose crouched down at the side of me.

"I am ok, a little winded but I am ok" I whispered hoarsely "Rose please go and stop Emmett, Jasper does not deserve what I am sure Emmett is going to do to him. Alice take Jasper somewhere to calm down I will be out as soon as Ben lets me go" they both nodded and quickly scampered off outside.

"Give her to me now" I heard Edward demand followed by the sound of crutches hitting the wooden floor. "NOW!"

Ben looked down at me

"Please go and find Angela tell her that I am ok, she will be worried I'm certain" I whispered as he passed me into Edward's arms.

"Everybody out" Edward bellowed his voice was full of authority.

Edward held me tightly and placed a discreet kiss on top of my head as the partygoers left en masse. Once we were alone he spoke.

"Bella are you ok?" his voice wavered. I looked up to see tears forming in his eyes "I was so dreadfully worried about you. Why did you step out in front of Jasper? Why?"

"I am fine. Please let me go to Jasper" I could hear raised voices from outside the building. The voices only added to my desperation to attempt to ease the situation.

"I shall do no such thing the man is a monster, the only way I shall let go of you is to go and see to that man myself" the tears had dissipated leaving nothing but rage in his eyes. I struggled against his grip to no avail.

"Edward, surely you can see this is my fault not Jasper's, the blow was never intended for me. I stepped out to try and calm the situation but I was too late"

"I what kind of man would I be if I let you put yourself in harm's way again? Have you not been hurt enough for one evening?" As much as I adored Edward's protective streak I could not leave Jasper alone at the present moment in time. The voices outside were getting louder with each second that passed.

"Can you let me sit up at least?" he did as I asked reluctantly moving his arms from around me "Edward I love you and only you but I have to do this. Emmett is out there and is more than likely inflicting a lot of damage upon his brother"

"I'm sorry Bella but I love you too much to leave you. I cannot let you go to him when he is like this. The man is obviously dangerous" I pondered his words for the briefest of seconds.

"You do not have to leave me. I want you to come with me, not as my lover but as my friend. Will you do this for me Edward please?" I could see him thinking over my proposal "I will be safe Edward, Emmett and Ben will let no harm come to me"

"It is not that I do not realise that they will do their best to keep you safe Isabella," he hesitated before letting out and almighty sigh "I just wish that I could protect you, that I could stand in front of you, but these bloody legs hardly make me a threat"

"Edward, you have my word that in the future if I ever find myself in this situation again you can protect me" I chuckled a little as I reached over for his crutches. Once I was standing I held out my hands for him to take and he stood up.

When we arrived at the door I took a deep calming breath and opened it a fraction so I could begin to assess the situation outside. It was dark yet due to the light of the moon I was able to see more than I had originally anticipated. Angela and Ben stood holding each other in the line of trees perhaps twenty or so yards in front of the door I was peeking through. In-between Angela and I, at the bottom of the set of steps leading up to the hall, was a neatly trimmed grass lawn. Upon that lawn stood two very angry men with only six foot of ground separating them. Alice and Rose were doing a fine job of holding the men back from the fight they were so eager to have.

"What on earth has gotten into you Jasper?" Emmett growled at his brother as Rose held him back

"Did you not see the way he was looking at her?" he spat in Ben's direction. Angela immediately shifted herself in front of Ben. "I have every right to be angry"

"Did you not see the way that you hurt Bella? The girl is like a sister to me and I will never be able to forgive myself if you do not feel at least one tenth of the pain you have inflicted upon her. Brother or not you deserve what is coming to you" Emmett yelled as Rose's hold on him started to waver.

Edward and I inconspicuously moved slowly through the door and stood in the darkness upon the stone porch at the top of the steps. Our presence appeared to have gone unnoticed, until Annie wormed her way out of the shadows up the steps to Edward's side.

"Oh Edward I'm so glad you are here. I knew you would not leave me alone and without protection" she attached herself to Edward's arm like some form of needy female limpet. Edward glanced at me and appeared most unimpressed by her attentions "I have been waiting with baited breath for you to come to my aid"

"If I was you I would hold my breath for a little longer, at least until you become limp and unconscious" I mumbled spitefully under my breath causing Edward to laugh, perhaps a little too loudly with respects to the scene playing out in front of us. My attention was quickly drawn in front of me as Rose let out a yell. I could see that she only had a hold of Emmett's left arm now and she was struggling to keep him from attacking Jasper.

I took a tentative step forward into the moonlight and screamed at the top of my lungs for them to stop. Rose suddenly released her grip on Emmett causing him to jerk forward and stumble as he tried to keep his balance. In the same instant Jasper turned to look at me. In the blink of an eye he began to hurriedly run towards me with his arms outstretched, his face wore a peculiar expression of both remorse and delight. I stepped forward one more step. I was intent on reassuring him that I knew he had not intentionally hurt me and hopefully I would be able to diffuse the situation. Edward on the other hand had other ideas. Obviously believing that Jasper was going to inflict yet more damage upon me he shook off the human clamp that was still attached to his arm and moved forward. He shifted his body in front of mine to act as some form of barrier between me and the man running towards me.

Jasper was half way up the steps when he stopped dead and assessed the activity in front of him.

"Bella?" his voice was filled with worry. He looked at me then to Edward before his eyes settled upon mine once more "You are scared of me? You need the Lance Corporal to keep me from you?" he appeared to be utterly befuddled but Edward's positioning. Suddenly he collapsed to his knees and began to sob "What have I done my own fiancé is too scared to see me alone"

The sight was nothing short of heart wrenching, the pain in my heart by far outweighed the throbbing pain of my battered chest. I tried to move forward to comfort the weeping man on the steps but the angle that Edward had positioned himself at prevented me from getting any closer.

"Edward, he is not going to hurt me" I scolded in his ear before giving him a stern look "Let me go to him, he needs me" Edward reluctantly moved and discreetly squeezed my hand. I smiled warmly at him before slowly descending the steps towards Jasper.

"I wish for no further arguments this evening, so please do as I say without hesitation." I spoke loudly as I addressed the crowd before me "I would like you to all to leave me and Jasper alone for a short while, whether you choose to go home or make yourself comfortable inside is no bother to me"

Once alone I sat myself down on the step next to Jasper and placed my hand on his shoulder, despite the careful gentleness of my action he still flinched at my touch.

"Jasper?" I spoke softly "Please move from your knees and sit next to me" he did as he was asked in an almost mechanical fashion.

"Oh Bella what have I done? I have made you afraid of me"

"Would I be here if I was afraid of you" I smiled whilst wiping a tear away from his eye. "The only reason I got hurt was because I put myself in danger. It was my own stupidity and nothing to do with you"

"I have hurt you though"

"I have had worse over the years, I can hardly feel it" I lied. My chest was dreadfully painful every time my lungs expanded shooting pains would travel across my rib cage. However Jasper was ill there was no need for him to know this, it would only add to his worries.

"I meant to hit Ben, honestly I did. He was looking at you like he wanted you, but you are my girl, right Bella? You are still my girl aren't you?" his voice was taking on an urgent panicked sound.

"Yes, I'm your girl" I felt utterly terrible lying to his face as I was but I had no other choice I could not risk the occurrence of another violent episode. I held out my arm and pulled him to my side. "Jasper, I need to say something and I want you to give me your word that you shall not get mad at me"

"I would never get mad at you my love" he rested his head against my knees now and stared into the darkness in front of us. I began to stroke his hair as I continued to speak.

"I'm dreadfully worried about you, you are not at all your normal self." I hesitated for a moment "I think you are suffering from shellshock or some other form of mental anguish bought on by your experiences of war"

He said nothing in reply and he did nothing but continue to stare into the darkness as I rhythmically stroked his hair. I heard a quiet noise behind me. I turned to see Alice's face peeking through the door I smiled at her in reassurance.

"Oh for heaven's sake Edward she is fine... yes I'm sure I can see her... indeed I am sure it is her that I am looking at" I heard Alice scolding Edward in hushed whispers. I turned my attention back to Jasper.

"I think it might be wise if you spent a little time in hospital in order to receive treatment and become healthy again" yet again he made no effort to respond "Jasper Whitlock if you have fallen asleep on my knees, I shall not be held responsible for my actions" I jested. I could feel his body start to vibrate with laughter before he sat up and smiled.

"I think you may be right Bella. I need time alone and away from all of this to heal." He rested his head on my knees once more and began to rock back and forth slightly.

I called for Alice and whispered instructions in her ear for her to call an ambulance and to have somebody retrieve a blanket for Jasper. Once Jasper was covered over I sat with him and waited. Alice stood silently at the bottom of the driveway ready to signal the driver once the ambulance arrived.

"Jasper, you need to stand up now, the ambulance is here" without making even the smallest of sounds he stood and arm in arm we began to make our way to the ambulance.

The driver opened the door for Jasper. He quickly turned, not to get into the ambulance but to embrace me.

"I'm sorry" he whispered

"You have nothing to be sorry for Jasper. Do you want me to accompany you to the hospital?"

"I will go alone, I would rather that you did not see me like this"

"If you do not wish me to see you then that is fine but you most certainly will not go alone. You will take Alice at least" He smiled and nodded his head.

He placed his hands on my waist and looked sadly into my eyes

"I love you" it was the first time he had said that he loved me since his return on New Year's Day.

"I love you too" I said replied. I was not lying I truly did love Jasper, not as much as Edward but I loved him nonetheless.

I thought I was alone as I held myself tightly watching the ambulance drive away into the darkness, but I was wrong.

"Are you ok Bella?" Emmett asked as he put his arm around my shoulders. I nodded silently "How is your chest?"

"A little sore but nothing a few large whiskeys will not fix" I chuckled

"I'm so sorry Bella, I pulled him away as quick as I could but it was not quick enough. You should not have had to get hurt like you did"

"It is not your fault, you did everything you could. I was the one foolish enough to put myself in the way of a moving fist"

We stared silently in to the dark for a moment. I saw Annie in the distance getting in to a taxi.

"Where is everybody?" I asked.

"They left whilst you were waiting for the ambulance to arrive. In fact Edward and Annie are the last ones to leave" he pointed at the taxi and my stomach sank as I realised they were sharing the taxi "Edward was adamant he would not leave until he knew you were ok. We could all do with someone to look out for us like he does for you, you are very lucky my dear girl"

"Perhaps" I mused. Lucky was the last word I would use to describe myself, after all I had I fiancé who would shortly be in hospital and the man I loved was leaving with another woman.

"Our taxi will not be long. I promised Rose and Angela that I would escort you home, they said they would await you in Angela's room."

"Thank you Emmett, you truly are a Godsend"

"Before I forget Edward sat that I should pass this onto you" he handed me a folded piece of paper. I had no pockets in which to stow it so I held it tightly in my hand while we awaited our taxi.

**XXX**

Once I had wished Emmett a good night and thanked him once more I made my way into the entrance hall where I swiftly unfolded the piece of paper I had been given.

_**Fear not, I may have shared a taxi but I have **_

_**Come home alone.**_

_**I am most proud of the bravery you exhibited this evening.**_

_**If I do not see you before,**_

_**Then I shall no doubt see you in the morning.**_

_**Sweet dreams my angel**_

_**Edward.**_

I smiled at his words before heading upstairs to my room. I secreted his note in to a drawer before dressing in something a little more comfortable, my chest ached with every movement I undertook. I glanced at myself in the mirror to see a nasty purple bruise had already started to appear, I sighed in relief that I had not received any broken ribs. I then decided to depart and make my way to Angela's room.

The alcohol flowed freely as I explained to them just what had happened outside and why Jasper was taken away in an ambulance.

"And Edward?" Rose asked after her fourth glass of wine "He was acting a little strangely around you don't you think?"

"How do you mean?" I tried my best to act confused.

"Well, he was awfully protective of you. I shall tell you one thing for nothing, that man has some very strong feelings for you"

"You think?" I blushed

"Bella Swan you do not need to be a doctor to see that" she giggled

"Yes, but imagine the things you could see if you were a doctor" a very tipsy Angela spat out before turning a violent shade of beetroot.

"Now that would be frightfully interesting" Rose giggled. "However let us get back to Edward, you really cannot see how he feels about you?"

"Umm... well"

"Bella, out with it" Rose demanded.

The vast amounts of alcohol I had ingested suddenly took charge of my tongue.

"I know that Edward loves me and he knows that I love him too. We have been seeing each other for a while now, but only because I thought Jasper was dead" I quickly finished the half a glass of wine I was holding before pouring another.

They simultaneously squealed in delight as I felt myself flush red.

"Angela you owe me one English pound, I told you I could get her to admit to it" Rose giggled.

"You mean to tell me that you knew?" my eyes were wide with surprise

"Oh course we knew what kind of friends would we be if we had not noticed?" Angela said matter-of-factly as she reached over to her bedside cabinet and passed Rose her winnings.

"Did Alice tell you?"

"Oh Alice knows too" they squealed once more.

"I am glad I provide you with some entertainment, all the while this has been going on I have been being eaten up with guilt. The fiancé I thought was dead has come back from the grave and unbeknown to him I am in love with another man. Do you have the slightest idea of how terrible that makes me feel? I have no choice but to break Jasper's heart" despite my obvious drunkenness I was pleased that I had managed to sound quite serious.

"You do not love Jasper anymore?" Rose asked. I shook my head whilst drinking from my glass. "Are you certain?"

"I have never been more certain of anything in my life. I love Jasper dearly as a friend but nothing more, it is Edward who I wish to be with" I stated.

"When then it should cause you no upset if am to say this, but you must promise not to utter a word to anyone else, after all we have said nothing about you and Edward."

"You have my word"

"I, well Angela and I actually, do not feel you should worry too much about Jasper. We think that if you were to end the relationship his heart would not be broken"

"How so?"

"Have you not seen the way he looks at Alice?" the words burst forward from Angela's mouth.

"No" I was a little confused by their words.

"Honestly Bella, do you walk around with your eyes closed?" Rose jested

"It would appear so, yes"

"Jasper is very smitten with Alice"

"Did somebody just say my name?" Alice smiled as she walked through the door.

"Indeed we did, it is about time you got here. We have some very important matters to attend to"

"What might they be Angela?" Alice smiled.

"In your absence Bella has confessed all about her relationship with Edward and we were just about embark upon an mission to find him"

"We were?" I asked incredulously

"Well after we have finished a little more wine" Rose laughed. With that Angela pulled another two bottles of fruit wine from her wardrobe.

"Angela, I am slightly worried that you have some form of winery concealed within your wardrobe. Exactly how deep is your wardrobe?" I asked

"Deep enough for at least a few dozen bottles of wine. Besides which I helped my parents pick the fruit from the orchard so it is only fair that I get to benefit from the proceeds"

"I will toast to that" Alice said with a raised glass.

Alice reassured me that Jasper was alright at the hospital. After discovering that I worked at Bicton they had taken him to the one nearby where the matron was working. Alice drank a bottle of wine to herself whilst we swiftly polished of the other one. Once the bottles were empty Rose stood up.

"I think it is time to leave girls" she said proudly

"It is late you can not disturb Edward at this hour"

"Bella I hardly call half past ten an ungodly hour"

"Please don't do this, I beg you." I pleaded "It is frightfully embarrassing for all parties that are concerned"

"I'm sorry but our minds are made up, Edward needs the talk" Rose made quotation marks in the air as she said the word talk. She then followed it up with a drunken hiccough before leaving the room with Alice and Angela in tow. I had no choice but to follow.

**So what did you think?**

**Naughty naughty Jasper! Valiant Emmett protecting Bella! Drunken nurses going to confront Edward!**

**Only another 4 or 5 chapters to go now, and yes there will be a lemon!**

**Magenta xx**


	32. Chapter 32

_**Sorry for the delay in updating I have been having laptop troubles!**_

_**Thanx so much for all you lovely reviews I enjoy reading every single one!**_

_**So it's very nearly the end of the story, after this update there will be 2 more chapters and an epi!**_

_**Are you ready for me to let Edward out of the cupboard and expose him to some drunk nurses?**_

Edward

"I'm sorry I did not get more of a chance to speak with you earlier Lance Corporal. Jasper whisked me off to the dance floor frightfully quickly" Marcy tucked the bottom of her blue dress underneath her as she positioned herself on the empty seat next to Annie. "You must think me frightfully rude"

"Not at all," I reassured "it is a dance after all. Besides which I have not been alone, Annie is wonderful company"

"May I ask which lucky lady you have accompanied here tonight?"

"I have been dragged along by Alice." Marcy looked a little perplexed, obviously having not been introduced to Alice. "Alice is a mutual friend of both mine and Bella's" I nodded in Alice's direction. Marcy smiled warmly at Alice who waved enthusiastically in return.

"She is very fortunate to be able to boast of your company this evening"

"That she is" I chuckled "but she is nothing more than a close friend who did not wish to come here alone."

I could see Annie's pretty face light up at the fact I had come here without a partner and I internally cussed myself for giving out the wrong signals to the poor girl.

"And the pretty blonde lady in-between Alice and Emmett, who is she?"

I explained that Rose was dating Emmett. Rose's reluctance to be at the table and unhappy looks in my direction were easily explained when I learnt that Annie was the old flame that Rose was so anxious about meeting. We continued to converse happily until I became aware of some form of hushed altercation occurring between Jasper and Emmett.

Jasper had been acting in a rather queer manner since he had returned to the table. I began to speculate that perhaps someone had cruelly filled his underwear with ants which would explain why he seemed unable to sit still. I sat and watched him almost constantly running his hand through his hair and fidgeting in his seat as I continued to contemplate the concept. I chuckled inwardly as I decided to revoke the word "cruelly" and replaced it with the word "admirably", while at the same time hoping that the ants were capable of particularly painful bites. Jasper's eyes were quickly darting from one end of the room to the other, often settling on Bella and Private Cheney who were deep in conversation on the other side of the dance floor. His distress was becoming more and more apparent.

"Is Jasper alright? Is he often like this?" I quizzed both Annie and Marcy. Taking into account Alice's advice I had been practicing pronouncing Jasper's name and I was secretly proud of the fact that it no longer sounded like a filthy word when I spoke. Not only had I managed not to spit out his name I had also successfully managed to refrain from snarling, Alice would be dreadfully pleased when I told her.

Both ladies looked worried as they shook their heads from side to side.

"Do not patronise me" Jasper aggressively yelled at his substantially larger brother. "Do not touch me. Anyone can see the way he is looking at her and _**she**_ is mine"

Jasper escaped the firm grasp Emmett had upon him and speedily made his way towards Private Cheney and Bella. Seemingly sensing the danger that was heading his way Private Cheney moved Bella to safety behind him. He swiftly pulled back his fist in order to hit Private Cheney. Jasper's opponent was a good deal larger than he was and obviously stronger. With Bella safely out of the way of the oncoming danger I sat back in my seat, eagerly awaiting the delightful sight of Jasper being knocked to the ground. Desperate to stop the fight and to ruin my entertainment, Emmett was closing the distance between himself and his brother. For reasons God only knows, Bella stepped out from behind Private Cheney causing my heart to leap in to my throat and threaten to choke me. On second thoughts perhaps even God was left a little puzzled by the stupidity of Bella's actions. Nonetheless Emmett now had his arms firmly around Jasper's waist and was pulling him to the ground, Bella was once more safe. Disappointed that Private Whitlock would not be getting any bruises my attention turned to picking up my drink in order to drown a few of my sorrows. Through the silence of the room I heard the deafening sound of a fist striking flesh. I turned to see Bella collapsing backwards, her eyes were wide with shock as she clutched at her chest.

For a brief second I saw Bella wrapped in Private Cheney's arms. The sight of her pretty face contorted with pain and her hands still grasping at her chest caused my body to stiffen and made me feel violently sick. I so desperately wanted to be at her side but the fear at what I would do to Jasper left me unable to move from my seat. Annie was speaking to me but her words went unheard as they fell upon deaf ears. A crowd of people quickly surrounded Bella, blocking my view. Alice and Rose both let out a horrified high pitched scream before running over and pushing their way through the crowd to be at her side. Once Emmett had removed Jasper from the room I quickly stood and more swiftly than I thought possible I made my way over to my girl. She was still lay in Private Cheney's arms when I demanded that he give her to me, he looked up at me with no hint of handed over his injured friend. He was a Private I was a Lance Corporal, I did not wish to pull rank but if it meant wrapping my arms around the girl I loved then that is what I would do. He gaze was diverted to Bella when she implored him to find Nurse Webber. I spoke with her briefly in private after I had asked the crowds to exit the room. She assured me that she was fine and that through her inherent clumsiness that she had been injured far worse in the past by her own hand. I gazed down at her chest to see it was red and bruised causing me to wish so badly that I could kiss her pain away. I did my best to contain my anger when she begged to go outside and see to Jasper. I reluctantly relented to her wishes in the knowledge that I could not bear to see her upset.

Outside the night was cold and the sky was dark. A horrified Bella stood in front of me watching the moonlit stage where two brothers were showing great willingness to fight. I silently begged for Rose to lose her grip on Emmett's arm so he could release his rage upon a more than deserving Jasper. Good fortune was beyond any doubt against me as Rose's grip stood steadfast. I was taken by surprise when a hand was placed upon my arm. I turned to see Annie, her auburn hair was shimmering brightly in the moonlight. She informed me how happy she was to see me as she held tightly to my arm, prompting Bella to quietly murmur an unusually unpleasant comment. I fought helplessly to contain my laughter at her sarcasm but I failed the task miserably. Bella screamed at them to stop. As Jasper began to run in Bella's direction I shifted my body in front of hers to shield her from him, I was intent on trying my hardest to make sure he would not touch her in my presence. My protective actions caused him to crumple to the ground in tears, he made no attempt to disguise his devastation at the fact that he had frightened his fiancé. For the first time I could not help feeling a little sorry for the old chap. Under Bella's strict orders I made my way back to the warmth of the dancehall.

**XXX**

Following Alice's instructions I unwillingly made my way outside to the taxi she had ordered to take me back to the hospital. Annie followed in my wake, a little troubled from the evening's events she did not wish to travel home alone. To be polite and gentlemanly, I offered to escort her home. Through the darkness in the distance I could see the silhouette of Bella cradling the form of a broken man, a broken man that despite his tears I would still happily throttle. As the vehicle prepared to leave the ambulance arrived and I turned to see Jasper now embracing Bella.

"Bella is a good friend of yours?" Annie asked breaking the long silence of the journey.

"Yes, I am fond of her. In the short time she has been my nurse we have become close friends"

"Call it women's intuition if you will, but it seems clear to me that you have deeper feelings for her than you are willing to disclose" she smiled "It is a great shame for you are a lovely man and I like you Edward. I like you a lot. She is an extremely lucky lady"

"Thank you I am very flattered. You are a very pretty and special girl, perhaps if my feelings for Bella weren't as they are things would have been different between us?"

"I would have liked that a lot" she smiled sadly before asking the driver to stop. "This is my stop, it has been a pleasure to meet you. Hopefully one day soon we shall meet again" she leant over and placed a soft kiss upon my lips before exiting the vehicle.

I waved from the window as she made her way down her garden path. The taxi drove onwards in to the winter's night.

**XXX**

I had been enjoying a few quiet whiskeys in my room whilst reading the book of poems Bella had given to me for Christmas. I was trying my very hardest to wash away the anger I was feeling with regards to Jasper, when I was disturbed by a commotion outside. I decided to put it down to some form of animal activity reasoning that perhaps a fox was hunting in the garden. There was a loud banging noise followed by somebody cursing the words Jesus Christ then the sound of laughter. Last time I had checked foxes were not capable of laughing and most definitely lacked verbal communication skills. I was busy hypothesising about who would be in the garden at this hour when loud knock at the window interrupted my thoughts.

"Are you in there?" a voice whispered at the glass "Lance Corporal?"

I made my way to the window before standing and drawing back the curtains only to be confronted by the smiling faces of Angela and Rose.

"Can I help you ladies?" I said once I had managed to open the window.

"We have to talk to you, its dreadfully important. May we come in?" Angela asked while grinning. I nodded and invited them in eager to know what was of such pressing importance. "Rose help me in" Rose looked a little perplexed as a bottle of wine was thrust upon her "What? Do you think I am too wide to fit through the window?"

"Not at all" Rose giggled

"Well then, I shall jump up and if you push my bottom at the right time I shall be through the window easily. Then I shall skilfully craft a rope from the Lance Corporal's bed sheets and send it down to you"

I chuckled at the notion that Angela would craft a rope to help Rose when the window was barely five feet from the ground.

"The girl guides really did teach you some wonderfully useful skills" Rose said while rubbing her hands together excitedly.

"On the count of three I will jump and you will push" she instructed while seeming a little unsteady on her feet.

"Ladies, dare I ask how much you have had to drink?"

"Mr Lance Corporal, you had best not be questioning our integrity?" Rose said with a hiccough

"Not at all Nurse Hale, not at all" I chuckled "Although it seems to me that you have drank enough to cause you to forget that I am in possession of a door"

Nurse Hale's eyes opened widely as she mouthed the word door.

"Will you both be quiet this is a very delicate task and it warrants our full attention." Angela swayed as she began to assess the window. It appeared to go unnoticed to her that Nurse Hale had left her side in order to make her way to the door. "1...2...3" she jumped, landing half in the window half out of it.

I could do nothing but laugh at the sight before me as she began to curse Rose who was now positioned by my side. She rather ungracefully lowered herself from the window and stomped into the room.

"And to think I was going to make a rope for you" she huffed as she snatched the bottle of wine from Rose "Next time I shall leave you down there" she slumped herself into an arm chair and took a large gulp of wine straight from the clear glass bottle.

"Oh I am sorry Angela"

"You will be terribly sorry when I... when I... yes you will be!" she wagged her finger in Rose's general direction. "I believe it is time we got down to business" she drummed her fingers sinisterly on the arm of the chair.

Rose called Alice's name through the open door. Rather puzzled and more than slightly entertained by the evening's impromptu entertainment I decided to make myself more comfortable and I sat myself down on the end of my bed. Alice seemed to materialise from thin air in the door way.

"Hello Edward" she called through the door way. Her rosy cheeks were a tell tale sign that Alice too had been drinking "What a splendidly fun evening this has turned out to be"

Rose whispered something I was unable to hear and Alice shook her head.

"I would like nothing more than to join you all. However I am rather preoccupied with stopping Bella from digging a hole in the garden to bury herself in, in order to avoid embarrassment"

"Alice Brandon this is one thing I will not let you meddle in, I shall be very happy, if not a little dirty, in my hole" I heard Bella's faint voice call from a distance "And for your information I am taking the wine with me"

"Forgive my absence but I really do need to go and sit upon Bella" and with that she was gone, leaving me able to hear Bella's faint squeals travelling through the darkness.

It was undeniable that the nurses were absolutely hilarious when they had been partaking in alcohol and I do believe that I could have happily sat and beheld their silliness all evening, if not a little longer.

Rose seated herself in the arm chair next to Angela; she cleared her throat before beginning to speak.

"It has very recently come to our attention that your relationship with Nurse Swan surpasses the bounds of a professional working relationship. Although this is most unprofessional the course of true love never runs smoothly and we are pleased for both you and Bella, in fact I believe you make a very nice couple. But I digress, Angela and myself are here to set in force some ground rules" Rose gestured for Angela to continue the conversation then leant across and took the wine from her and began to quench her own thirst.

"You can wipe that smirk from your pretty face Colonel Cullen" Angela said while waving what appeared to be a pen at me.

"I do beg your pardon Nurse Webber." I said whilst reaching for my whiskey and wondering when exactly I had received a promotion "May I ask you why it is that you are waving a pen at me?"

"I was unable to find a sword at such short notice and I am doing my very best to appear threatening"

"Please enlighten me as to why I should feel threatened by a pen" I chuckled

"I'm sure you are familiar with the saying the pen is mightier than the sword, are you not?" she said as Rose still drank from the bottle

"Yes I am familiar with it but I don't think it was meant to hold quite the connotations that you are implying"

"Perhaps" she shrugged with a hiccough "But that is beside the point. If you are to break Bella's heart in any way shape or form the consequences will be dire. We are very fond of Bella and do not take kindly to it when she is upset. I warn you now Mr Edward Lance Corporal that the pain and misery that Rose, Alice and I will inflict upon you will make the agony of your wounded legs appear positively inconsequential. Do I make myself clear?"

"Very clear, although the hiccough you ended with has detracted a little from your seriousness. I have no intention of ever breaking Bella's heart, to do that would break my own heart too."

"Well I am very glad to hear that" Angela wobbled her way over to me as she spoke "Now we have disposed of the pleasantries who would like a drink?" she waved around my bottle of whiskey.

"None for me thank you I am happy with this bottle of whatever it may be" Rose was now sat sideways across the chair with her legs dangling over the arm. I however held out my glass and allowed her to refill it.

"Well I for one am glad with have got that out of the way, although I am curious of how exactly you came to know all of this"

"It was elementary dear Edward, elementary" Rose laughed whilst wearing my flat cap and pretending to smoke an imaginary pipe "Dr Watson and I have had our suspicions for a while now. Our suspicions were fuelled further this evening when you appeared utterly oblivious to Annie's advances. The final nail in the coffin was your protectiveness over Bella, you behaved rather admirably."

"Excuse me, would you mind if I spoke to Edward alone" Bella said from the doorway. Angela stood from her chair and held out her hand for Rose to take.

"As always it has been a pleasure to have had your company. To protect your safety, I would prefer it if you were to exit through the door please Angela." The two nurses skipped merrily from my room leaving Bella and I alone.

"I am so dreadfully sorry about this facade Edward, not to mention ridiculously embarrassed. I did everything I could to stop them but they were insistent on bothering you"

"It has been no bother to me. If anything I am glad it has happened, your friends are very amusing" Although the door was now closed Bella was still positioned in the door way nervously fingering her necklace. It was the necklace I had given to her for Christmas and as far as I was aware she had not once removed it since it was first placed around her neck. It caused me indescribable joy to see her wear my heart so proudly. "Beautiful is something wrong? Are you upset that I left the dance in the company of Annie?" She nodded her head as she seated herself on the bed next to me. I took hold of her hand "I am sorry darling, I did not mean to hurt you. Annie is a most wonderful girl but she is nothing compared to you."

"Alice was your date for the evening not Miss Wanton, you should have told her to go and leave you be" she spoke sternly and snatched back her hand.

"With all due respect Bella, I think you are being a little silly. I feel it most unfair that I was expected to silently endure the torture of watching you play the happy couple with Private Whitlock, yet I share a conversation and a taxi with a girl and you become unglued. With regards to Annie, I had made it clear that I wished for nothing but friendship" I tried to speak as calmly as possible but her hypocrisy was causing my composure to ebb away.

"Edward, you seem to have misunderstood me somewhat. I am angry with her not you. I have never felt so jealous. The pain it caused me to see you two together was unbearable. If I did not have a good reputation to uphold I would have jolly well slapped her."

"I think I would have actually liked to see that" I chuckled as I pulled her into an embrace.

We shared a drink together before Bella collapsed backwards upon the bed.

"Oh Edward I'm jolly tired, would you mind if I slept here tonight?"

I positioned myself next to her and began to slowly kiss her neck and jaw.

"I would like that, but it would do your good reputation no favours."

"At this present moment in time my concern is not my reputation" she began to kiss me passionately as we lay together. Her kisses grew more hungry and needy as her hands ran through my hair. "I am far more concerned with you" As our lips continued to dance together her hands began to caress my body. Bella began to get over excited and a little carried away in the moment and began to unbutton my shirt.

"Isabella I think you should stop" I moved her hands away from my shirt. Our lips parted and I opened my eyes to see a very hurt yet still beautiful woman.

"Do you not want me?" she whispered

"I want you more than anything my darling" she smiled and attempted to unbutton my shirt once more. "but not like this"

"I do not understand" the hurt was apparent in her voice and tears began to form in her eyes "I know that I am a little drunk but this is what I want Edward, and I have wanted it for so long"

I pulled her close before whispering in her ear

"I want you more than I have ever wanted anything. I want to gorge you with all the joys of the flesh, so that you faint and die." I paused and listened to her breathing accelerate "I want you to be amazed by me and I want to take my time with you."

"I want that too" she said breathlessly as she ran her lips down my neck.

"I do not want you to do this because you feel pressured by another woman or because you have been drinking. I wish to protect and uphold your virtue"

"Virtue?" she scoffed "I am in possession of both a fiancé and a boyfriend, I think my virtue has been pretty much made redundant, don't you?"

"No I do not and no matter how much you desire this I shall not take it from you in a hospital bed" I ran my finger across her cheek.

"Do you love me?" a sly smile spread across her face

"More than life it's self, my heart will forever be at your service. Isabella you are my sun, without your light and the warmth you emanate there is no point to my existence. Without you I shall wither and die. I would give you my soul if you were to ask"

"And your body? Would you give that to me if I was to ask?"

"Gladly," I smiled at her newly found prowess "although I am most fond of the confidence alcohol seemingly brings out in you, now is not the right time my dear," trying my hardest to ignore the bruise her bastard of a fiancé had caused, I placed my hand gently on her chest and felt her heart beat "I want the moment that our two souls and two heartbeats become one to be perfect, I want to treat you as you deserve to be treated most of all I want to give myself to you" Once more her eyes expressed her hurt "Please do not look so upset I am not rebuffing your advances permanently, now is just not the right time"

"You promise?" she murmured

"You have my word" I pulled her close and held her tightly, breathing in the sweet delicious scent of her hair and her perfume. Within a few short moments Bella had fallen fast asleep in my arms.

I gently moved Bella towards the top of my bed in order for her to be more comfortable and to cover her with the sheets. Against my will I briefly left her side to change into my bed clothes. Once I was huddled up besides her again a wonderful plan began to form in my mind.

**XXX**

I awoke later than usual and reached out to kiss Bella, but she was gone. All that was left of her was a note.

**After a wonderful night**

**I have left you with a kiss and an embrace**

**to unwillingly retire to my own bed.**

**xxx**

A little after ten I decided to begin putting my plan into action. With the help of a new nurse whose name I didn't catch I managed to locate Alice. Alice informed me that this morning Emmett was picking up Bella so they could visit Jasper together. I could not deny I was not fond of her visiting her fiancé but the fact that she would be away for the morning was most favourable. I asked Alice if she would be so kind as to gather Nurse Hale and Nurse Webber and bring them to my room. Alice was more than happy to help with my scheming and skipped off to collect them. Whilst alone in my room I wrote three short notes and address one to Alice, one to Nurse Webber and one to Nurse Hale.

Just as I sealed the final envelope there was gentle knock at the door. A cheery Alice made her way in and sat straight down on the bed, Rose and Angela on the other hand did not look quite so cheery.

"It appears you two may be regretting entertaining me so late last night"

"If I am honest, I am regretting everything about last night" Rose grumbled as she sat in an arm chair "My head hurts terribly this morning"

"I also feel more than a little worse for wear. I am still a little puzzled as to why I woke in Rose's room clutching a pen while Rose was wearing a flat cap." Remembering the events of last night I let out a chuckle as did Rose "What puzzles me even more is that Alice despite drinking the same amount of wine appears to have suffered no ill effects this morning"

Alice said nothing in reply to Angela's comment instead she smiled at her two rotten feeling friends.

"Despite the fact it suited you, I would like that hat back at some point please"

"I cannot be the only one who is thinking it so I shall go ahead and ask what we are all doing here Edward" Alice asked impatiently.

"I would like to ask for your help regarding a delicate situation with Bella. I do not wish to disclose the exact details of the situation as they are of a personal nature so I will understand if you do not wish to lend your help."

"As long as it does not require further ingestion of alcohol I am willing to help you"

"Thank you Nurse Hale, and you two? Will you help?"

"Edward, you are well aware I will help you in any way possible" Alice smiled

"I agree with Rose" Angela moaned

"Thank you, your efforts are greatly appreciated. In order for me to make Bella happy there is something I need to do but I am unable to do it alone, so I have written down a few tasks in an envelope for you" I handed around the envelopes and waited for them to read the contents. The three girls had a brief discussion regarding their duties.

"Well this does not seem too complicated" Rose looked pleased as she folded up the piece of paper and placed it in her pocket.

"I hope you can understand that your discretion around Bella is of the upmost importance, I really do wish for this to be a total surprise. I hope that you can also recognise that time really is of the essence if I am to get this completed today"

"Rose and I shall leave now and we will hurry back as fast as possible"

"Nurse Webber, before you depart you shall need this" I handed her another envelope "This contains the money you shall need to cover your expenses including taxi fares please feel free to keep any money that happens to be left over"

Both nurses thanked me before hurrying off.

"Well that leaves you and I Edward, shall we get started?" I grinned a nodded "I shall go and order us a taxi and make some excuses for you with the nursing staff"

Once alone I retrieved a bag from the wardrobe and began to pack a few things for the evening. I was engrossed in thoughts of how to make the evening perfect when I was startled by a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry Edward, I did not mean to frighten you. The taxi will be here in a matter of moments, are you ready to leave?" I nodded "Are you sure this is the right thing to do?"

"Do you not think she will like it?" until Alice's comment I had not even entertained the idea that Bella would dislike her surprise. Self doubt accompanied by both fear and nervousness hit me like an artillery bombardment.

"I think after the initial shock of realising that you have left the hospital without telling her first she will adore it, but it is the initial shock that I am worried about" her voice was full of concern "However..." I watched as a huge grin spread over Alice's face as she opened the bedroom door and gestured for us to leave "the end will far outweigh the means"

**XXX**

"Edward, would you be a dear and see who is at the door for me?" Alice chirped as she wiped her flour covered hands down the length of her pink flowery apron.

"But I am busy preparing the fruit"

"Edward!" she momentarily stopped rolling out the pastry to scold me.

"Fine" I heaved myself from the wooden chair Alice had kindly bought into the kitchen for me "I'll go"

It took me a few moments to navigate the corridor and reach the front door. Upon opening it I was pleasantly surprised by Angela and Rose who were both weighed down by a multitude of different shopping bags.

"You are here far earlier than I had expected ladies"

"Well you did instruct us to be as quick as possible, did you not?" Angela said

"We could leave and come back later if you would like?" Rose jested

"Please come on in ladies." I pulled back the door as far as it would go and gestured for them to enter "The kitchen is at the end of the corridor, you will find a very busy Alice in there."

As I made my way back towards the kitchen the sound of Alice giving orders could clearly be heard. I paused to lean against the wall for a well needed rest from the slave labour Alice had been inflicting on me for the past few hours.

"Angela could you please chop the vegetables, Rose I need you to begin to brown the beef"

"Yes Ma'am" they replied in unison

"Edward" she called out "Stop hiding in the hallway, the stock you have left upon the stove is about to boil over and I need you to finish preparing the fruit"

"Alice Brandon" I entered the kitchen "I have not been subjected to such a regimented and disciplined operation since my battalion went overseas and we were under the command of Major Clearwater. The only difference I can see between you and Major Clearwater is that although he was very strict he was in possession of a compassionate side; albeit the cause of his untimely demise." I placed my hand on her shoulder as she began to grease the pie tin "You my girl, could have a fine career in the army ahead of you" I chuckled as I playfully patted her shoulder.

"I am unsure whether that was intended as a compliment or an insult but I shall thank you either way. Now get to work"

As instructed I tended to the vegetable stock before retaking my seat to finish mixing the sultanas with the last of the jarred poached pears and stewed apples that were left over from the autumn harvest. I was itching with anticipation for Bella to arrive. I became so engrossed in my thoughts that I failed to overhear the opening of the conversation occurring between the nurses.

"Rosalie's jealous, Rosalie's jealous" Angela sang whilst chopping a celeriac.

"Aww does Emmett prefer Isabella's company to yours?" Alice said mockingly.

"Emmett and Bella sitting in a tree..."

"Stop it Angela it is not funny" Rose stated whilst throwing down the wooden spoon she had been using to stir the beef.

"I'll have you know that Ben is spending today with my mother, do you see me worrying? No, because it does not mean that he prefers her to me."

"That is a little different, after all she is your mother"

"And just what are you trying to say about my mother Rose?" Angela giggled

"Have I missed something?" I interrupted.

"Rosalie is a little jealous that Emmett is spending his day with Bella instead of with her" Alice smiled

"Well, she has every right to be jealous" three pairs of eyes turned to stare incredulously at me "Isabella is very fond of Pilot Whitlock and to a certain degree her affections appear to be returned." three mouths now fell open with shock "Have you not seen the way they look at each other?"

"What do you mean Edward?" Rose asked as she sat down at the table. Her concern was more than a little apparent.

"Do you recall earlier in my room when I told you that the nature of and the reasons behind Bella's surprise were personal ones?" she nodded "I did not like to mention it earlier, but since I am not the one who first broached the subject I feel it is only fair that I inform you of what I know." I paused allowing the tension to build "I am doing this tonight as a last resort to stop a more than possible romance blossoming between Emmett and Bella"

Rosalie let out a little gasp before placing both her hands over her mouth.

"No. It cannot be, he told me he loves me. Tell me it's not true" I could not continue with my lies and an enormous grin spread across my face.

"Of course it is not true" I laughed "I find it utterly baffling that you can be quite so insecure Rosalie. If Emmett was not visiting his brother, who correct me if I am wrong you hardly know, I'm sure he would be spending the day with you."

"Edward is right, he adores you." Angela announced whilst leaning up against the Aga.

"You two are truly perfect together" Alice smiled "Now get that champagne in the refrigerator" Alice began barking out her orders again "Angela, the stew will not cook itself. Put the vegetables in the pan with the beef then in about half an hour start to add the stock" Angela saluted causing Alice to throw a small potato at her. "Edward, pass me the pie filling and start to peel these potatoes"

**XXX**

It was nearing four in the afternoon when the fruit pie was removed from the Aga and the stew was continuing to cook nicely. Alice and I were just adding the finishing touches to the custard, or crème anglaise as she insisted I call it in order to give the cooking a little more artistic flare. Rose and Angela announced they would return to Bicton to begin the second phase of what had become affectionately known as "Operation Montgomery". It had been named so after Rose had compared Alice's strict and efficient command to that of Major General Montgomery's.

"Right Edward, everything is flowing smoothly now which leaves us with a few minutes to spare. Would you like a cup of tea?"

"I thought you would never ask" I chuckled.

As we sipped at tea we discussed what else needed to be done. Alice suggested that I shuffle my way upstairs and ready myself for Bella's impending arrival whilst she added the finishing touches to downstairs. I took the liberty of having a bath in an effort to drown my nerves and shaved before donning my black dinner suit. I straightened my tie and styled my hair as far as was possible before shuffling down stairs again with my crutches in tow.

When I entered the kitchen it became apparent the Alice had been very busy. The table was covered by a dazzling white table cloth, upon that she had carefully set out two places complete with cutlery and champagne glasses. The dishes had been cleaned and put away leaving the kitchen spotless.

"I am just about to put out the candles and then I shall go and fulfil the final part of my duties"

"Alice you have done a grand job and I shall be forever indebted to you, Rose and Angela." Alice blushed and smiled warmly before placing a few handfuls of candles around the kitchen and a box of matches upon the table.

"The flowers you asked Rose to collect are on the table in the hallway, the bread is in the oven keeping warm and a have placed the butter on top of the refrigerator to soften. I have taken the liberty of packing a bag of things that I thought Bella may need and a few extra items that I asked Rose and Angela to retrieve. I have placed it upstairs. I shall make my way back to the hospital now and I will return within the hour with Isabella"

I said nothing but I gave her a nervous smile as I ran my hand through my hair.

"Edward dear," she took my hand in hers "Do not panic, she will not suspect a thing. I have my story ready and my acting skills are second to none"

"Thank you" I whispered as she placed a gentle kiss on my cheek.

With Alice's departure I began to feel quite anxious and worried that Bella would not appreciate what I had planned. Nonsense, I scolded myself I knew my girl almost as well as I knew myself and she would love her surprise. I decided that keeping myself busy would keep my negative thoughts at bay. I began with thinking of an appropriate verse to write down on a little card that I planned to place in the bouquet of gerberas that I had instructed Rose to buy along with a large bag of rose petals. It did not take my mind long to settle on a poem by John Keats so I neatly wrote it down, following that I began to sprinkle the rose petals on the floor in a trail from the front door to the kitchen. I scattered a few petals upon the table being extra careful not to get them on the plates.

I continued to lay a trail of flowers leading upstairs and to the bathroom. Using the luxurious soaps and creams I had asked Angela to purchase I began to run Bella a hot bath. The bath seemed to take a life time to finish running, as the water level rose so did my levels of nervousness. I began to drum my fingers against the wall I was leaning against; I bit at the nails of the other hand before raking it through my hair. I decided that it might be a good idea to begin pacing the small room in hope of taking my mind of things. Once the bath was full of hot water and bubbles I placed some petals around the bath then added a handful into the water and lit a few candles. I had just enough petals left for my plan to be completed.

I had around twenty minutes before Bella would arrive, I swiftly checked my appearance in the mirror before shuffling down the stairs once more. I decided to place the large bouquet of gerberas on the door step so it would be the first thing that Bella would see.

Now with around ten minutes until her arrival I sat in the kitchen watching the clock tick slowly as my nerves and the suspense built. My mind drifted away from the clock and settled upon the first time I had seen Bella, her red and white polka dot dress flowing around her as she sauntered to the bar. Her eyes expressed nothing but sadness as she watched a young couple in love dancing upon the dance floor. From the first time I spoke to her I had been utterly captivated and enchanted by both her beauty and her pleasant demeanour. I smiled a little as I realised she had not lost any of her enchantment and I was still truly captivated by her. As I did on the first occasion I met her, I still adored the way she would bite her lip, the way she would so easily blush a wonderful shade of crimson and the way she always smelled divine. Now I could see clearly the memories my accident had cruelly stripped me of, I remembered the kisses I placed upon her hands when she left and the sadness in her eyes as if it was yesterday. I remembered how my heart ached when I thought I would never see her again and how it filled with joy when I found my girl once more. I would forever be indebted to the powers of fate for bringing us together again. I was certain that I loved her but never dreamed that she would love me back, that I would be good enough for her.

My reverie was interrupted but the sounds of an engine ticking over outside the building, a car door slammed shut before I heard the engine roar and accelerate off down the road.

"Alice Brandon, you will come back here right now and explain the meaning of this" Bella yelled as I imagined Alice giggling "Alice!" she called again before letting out a frustrated scream.

**So where is Edward? What is his surprise?**

**As I said it's very nearly the end of the story, but if enough people are interested I can write an out take from Alice's point of view and one from Jasper's. Let me know when you review!**

**Magenta xx**


	33. Chapter 33

_**Thanx so much for all you lovely reviews I enjoy reading every single one!**_

_**It's taken longer than I expected to update as I'm snowed under with RL and uni work!**_

_**I don't own twilight or its characters. **_

Bella

Before we reached the stairs Angela hurried back to her room and returned with a smile waving two more bottles of wine.

"I thought we maybe in need of a little extra company" she chortled as she bounded along the corridor towards us. After a small amount of thought she made the decision to keep one bottle for herself and hand the other to a very grateful looking Alice.

I persisted to plead with my so called friends not to carry out their terribly embarrassing plan despite realising deep down that it was a lost cause.

"Fine, but I will play no part in your immaturity" I sulked as we made our way out in to the night.

"That is alright Bella because if I am truthful you did not really have a vital part to play." Rose giggled "I suppose I can take on your role of standing in the corner looking pretty as well as carrying out my own role of interrogator. I have always been an expert in multitasking"

I quickly stomped through the darkness behind the three girls as they cantered towards Edward's room. Angela turned and opened her mouth to say something. I will never know what she was intending to say as she fell backwards over a large plant pot, landing with her bottom wedged firmly in the top.

"Jesus Christ" she cursed with her legs wiggling in the air as she tried her hardest to free herself from the grasp of the pot. "Stop laughing and help me" she whispered rather loudly. Alice, Rose and I were of no use as we were all suffering from an acute fit of the giggles. As the tears of laughter rolled freely down my face as I collapsed to the ground. I watched as Angela ceased her struggles; instead she chose to relax and take a large drink from the wine bottle. "Well if I am to live the rest of my days in this terracotta pot then so be it" she spoke with determination and continued to drink until Rose and Alice pulled her from the pot.

"Bella are you ok?" Alice made her way over to me and held out her hand to help me from the floor. "Please tell me you do not feel nauseous like last time we were all in the garden"

"I am fine Alice, a little squiffy yes, but laughter has caused me to fall to the floor this time" I became aware of the sound of Rose and Angela knocking at Edward's window and calling his name. "Why are they doing this to me?" I held my head in my hands.

"They do not mean to cause you embarrassment. Actually, I think I am lying, but they are looking out for you as good friends should do, you should be honoured"

"I understand that they want the best for me and I am truly grateful, however I strongly believe that there are more suitable ways of doing it" I watched as Rose scampered into view and made her way into Edward's room through the French doors.

"What could be more suitable than getting tipsy and making a fool of one's self? I'll have you know it really is a lot of fun" Alice took a long drink from the wine bottle and swayed a little as she handed the bottle over to me.

We both turned in the direction of the door when Rose called out Alice's name. Alice took hold of my hand and tried to lead me to the room. Under normal circumstances I would be most eager to spend time with Edward, but on this occasion I dug my heels into the ground and refused to move.

"Please Bella, come with me."

"I will do no such thing" I said stubbornly as I promptly dropped to the ground and crossed my arms and legs. "There are far nicer ways to die than dying of embarrassment" she pleaded with me once more whilst trying to drag me across the garden. "I can assure I will not move one inch, no matter how hard you try or how dreadfully cold the ground is against my bottom"

"Well if you are not prepared to have a little fun at Edward's expense then you can stay here. I for one am not willing to pass up such a golden opportunity" she began to giggle and stagger a few steps in the vague direction of the scene of the impending crime.

"Fine, you do that then"

"Fine, I will"

"I hope you feel pleased with yourself leaving me all alone in the dark, with only boredom for company"

"I am always pleased with myself, after all what is there not to be pleased about?" she stuck her tongue out at me before continuing "Besides you are an inventive woman I'm sure you will find something to do"

As usual Alice was correct, with in a small fraction of a second I knew what I was going to do to stave off the boredom. Standing up I made my way over to a little wooden shack that the grounds keeper liked to call his workshop. Leaning up against the door was a lonely spade, deciding the spade was in need of some decent company I took it in my hand. Taking a drink from the wine bottle I made my way back to Alice.

"Isabella Swan what on earth have you got a spade for?"

"For digging, what else? I am intent on escaping the embarrassment you seem so determined to inflict upon me, so I am going to dig myself a jolly deep hole and bury myself" with that in mind she laughed and made her way to Edward's room.

I was then faced with the dilemma of what to do with the wine bottle. If I was to place it on the floor it would surely tip over and the delicious contents would be wasted. I decided that would be a dreadful shame so I cleverly pulled the front of my dress forward and wedged the bottle in my bra between my breasts. I reasoned that not only would its coldness provide some relief from the smarting pain of my bruise it would also not possibly be able to escape from there. As the spade made contact with the ground I was able to hear Alice announcing that she was planning on stopping my plan.

"Alice Brandon" I called out "this is one thing I will not let you meddle in, I shall be very happy, if not a little dirty, in my hole. And for your information I am taking the wine with me"

I pushed the spade into the soil intent on getting my plan underway. I had neglected to take into account how hard and difficult to move the ground was. I was jumping on the spade trying to push it further into the ground while at the same time protecting the wine bottle when Alice approached and snatched the bottle from my bosom. Her actions caused a peculiar high pitched sound to leave my mouth. She then proceeded to take the spade from my hands and began to run away from me. Desperate to continue my escape plan a small pursuit pursued. It ended all too soon when Alice tripped over the spade and I in turn fell over Alice. We lay giggling for a short while before I removed myself and the wine from Alice.

"Alice, I need to ask you something but it is a little awkward" Once more alcohol was causing me to speak without first engaging my brain.

"Nothing is awkward if you have had enough wine Isabella" she chuckled as I offered her the bottle "You can ask me anything your heart desires"

"As you are aware I love Edward very much and I no longer wish to be with Jasper." I hesitated a little "I was just wondering if you perhaps were hiding a fondness for Jasper."

If it was not dark I was certain I would be able to see Alice blush.

"I will admit I find him devilishly handsome and after spending some time in his company this evening I do believe he is a very nice man"

"I am unable to argue with you Alice, he is most definitely in possession of both of those qualities. I do still care for him and I cannot help but be worried about him"

"Give him time and he will make a full recovery. I have every faith in that fact"

We sat quietly for a few moments silently passing the bottle between us.

"What I am trying to say is that Jasper is a wonderful man capable of giving much love. You are a remarkable woman and you deserve both love and happiness, if Jasper is the one that can bring you those things then you must embrace it." I leant over and placed a soft kiss on her cheek before announcing that I was going to rescue Edward from the clutches of Angela and Rose.

**XXX**

I awoke in Edward's bed wrapped tightly in his arms, I looked at his watch to see that it was already six in the morning. I knew it would not be long before the nurses began their morning rounds and that I could not be found in Edward's bed like this. I decided it best to remove myself from the compromising position. I left a little note where I had been lay before gently embracing and kissing the sleeping bronzed haired man that I loved so dearly. It was awfully cold and dark outside so I spared no time on dawdling.

I opened my door and became a little puzzled when I noticed Alice curled up like a sleeping cat at the bottom of my bed. Intent on getting a little more sleep I did my best not to wake her as I quickly changed into my night clothes. I gazed at my exposed chest in the mirror to see a frightful purple and black bruise; I winced with discomfort as I traced its outline with my fingertips. I turned to get into bed only to see Alice sat up and bright eyed grinning inanely at me.

"Good morning Alice."

"You didn't?" Alice spoke excitedly

"I didn't what?"

"You did, didn't you? Tell me everything" she said as she rubbed her hands together.

"Alice I'm afraid that I have not the faintest idea of what you are talking about"

"You and Edward had relations." She giggled "I should not have to point out that you are supposed to abstain from such relations until you are married"

"Edward and I did not make love, I merely slept next to him in his bed. Fully clothed I might add" I exclaimed.

"Why did you not... you know?"

"It was not for the want of trying, he turned down my advances apparently he wishes to protect my virtue" my voice wavered as I recalled the hurt Edward had caused me. I sat down on the bed next to her with my head hung low. "I should not have offered myself to him after all we are not married. I have been more than a little foolish and I have probably cheapened myself tremendously" I sighed.

"Isabella Swan do you honestly believe that you are the only one who has made or attempted to make love outside of marriage?" she placed her arm around my shoulders and pulled me close "Because if you do you are very wrong. I cannot speak for Angela but I am well aware Rose and I are not as innocent as we appear"

"Emmett?" I asked incredulously before covering my mouth with my hands.

"I have kissed him on the cheek but nothing more intimate than that" she jested "As for Rose, she loves Emmett but the relationship is still in its early days so I doubt she has been that close with him. I was with Demetri for a very long time and trusted him implicitly. It was a natural progression of our relationship and I do not regret it at all. It is society that deems it improper, but you are an individual and you know what is right for you. You trust Edward, do you not?" I nodded "Then you should rest assured that what happens between you will remain private"

"Thank you Alice, you are a true friend"

"I am very trustworthy too"

"You shall be first to know if and when it happens"

"I would rather hope that you and Edward would know before me. I shall retire to my room now but if you need me you know where to find me" she stood and moved to the door.

"One more question Alice, why were you in my room?"

"I wanted to be the first to know" she smiled and left.

I crawled underneath the bed sheets. Surprisingly the pain my chest was causing me combined with my headache from the wine did little to stop me drifting back to sleep. I dreamt of Alice and Jasper. They were so very happy together. I watched through a window as they sat in a room unknown to me and laughed together. Alice looked up at me and smiled before inviting me in with a hand gesture, I shook my head as the nerves of seeing Jasper got the better of me. Alice moved from her seat and pulled me through the door. I sat down opposite the couple and watched as Alice proudly showed off an engagement ring. No words were spoken but I could see that they were happy and they could see I was happy for them.

I was abruptly woken by a loud banging on the door followed by the appearance of a weary looking Angela.

"I am sorry to disturb you Bella, but Pilot Whitlock has arrived and would like to know if you would care to accompany him to see Jasper."

"Tell him I will be downstairs as soon as I can" I rushed from my bed and hurried to wash and dress as an intense wave of shame threatened to incapacitate me. Sometimes I was a truly awful person. It was only last night that a man I cared about deeply had been taken to hospital and I had barely spared a thought for him. I instantly felt guilty for the evening's frivolities when I imagined the man I once loved lying alone and forgotten about in surroundings unfamiliar to him.

**XXX**

The journey to Shelton hospital was full of apologies. Emmett apologised countless times for his own and his brother's behaviour whilst I apologised for putting myself in front of Ben and not noticing that Jasper was out of sorts sooner.

Shelton was a small cottage hospital spread over three floors. The majority of the building was composed of red brick but underneath the eves of the roof were black and white timbers. At some point in the past the building had been used as a vicarage but now it had been extended slightly to accommodate the needs of a cottage hospital. Emmett took my arm as I inhaled deeply and prepared to enter the hospital.

"Everything will be alright Bella, I am here for you" he reassured as a nurse showed us the way to Jasper's room.

"Thank you" I smiled gratefully "I am here for you too Emmett"

The hospital was very different to Bicton and much more similar to the hospitals I had frequented in Birmingham and Whitechapel. The ground floor was an open ward where soldiers lay in beds that lined the walls. It was a cold and clinical place that lacked the feeling of homeliness and warmth that Bicton possessed. Some of the soldiers shouted out with pain and fear as we passed whilst other sat silently rocking in beds internally reliving the horrors they had experienced. The nurse led us up a staircase where the smell of disinfectant lessened and the calls of the men could no longer be heard. The first floor was home to a long poorly lit corridor with many private rooms leading off from it. The nurse showed us to the third door on the right and informed us that this is where we would find Jasper. With a quick smile she left us and went back down the stairs. The door appeared to be made from oak with a window enclosed in it. Presumably this was to allow the nurses to see in without disturbing the patient.

I peered through the little window to see Jasper sat in an arm chair holding his knees tight to his chest as he stared through a window on to the world outside. A silent tear escaped my eye as I watched the sad scene before me and Emmett pulled me close to him.

"Shall we go in?"

I nodded and Emmett pushed open the door and confidently strode into the room. Frightened of what I might find I hovered in the doorway. Emmett on the other hand walked over to his brother and playfully slapped him on the back. The room was not large yet it was not small, the wooden floor creaked with every step Emmett took. The bed was neatly made and lay flush against the wall on the left hand side of the room. Directly in front of me was the leaded window where Jasper and a writing desk sat motionlessly.

"Good morning old chap" Jasper turned his head to look at Emmett yet said nothing. "Cat got your tongue?"

"Something like that" he sounded utterly defeated and turned his gaze back towards the window. "I have behaved atrociously and I wish for your forgiveness"

"Jasper you are my brother and you are unwell you have no need to ask for my forgiveness, all is already forgiven" I believe that Jasper tried to force as smile at his brother's cheeriness but it appeared as more of a grimace. "Why so glum dear boy?"

"I am ashamed of my behaviour and ashamed of my condition. To add to that I am stuck in a hospital full of mad bastards and confined to my room as I pose too much of a flight risk to even access the garden alone"

Emmett laughed at his brother's comments and made a joke about escape plans but the sadness and hurt in his eyes was clear.

"Perhaps a visit from Isabella will lift your spirits"

"I doubt that very much, in fact I would be surprised if she even wanted to see me again after I hurt her so badly. What sort of a man hits the woman he is supposed to love, answer me that?"

"An unwell man" I said quietly as I struggled to find my voice.

"Isabella?" he called as he turned to face me. I clutched at the straps of my handbag in front of me with both hands as I took a few steps towards him.

"Yes" I answered with a timid smile.

"What are you doing here?" he asked with an angry edge to his voice.

"I... I came to see you" as I stuttered he released his grip around his knees and leapt up from his chair. Emmett stood swiftly unsure of what Jasper was about to do.

"Please leave"

"But I wanted to see you, to make sure you are alright"

"Isabella" he snapped at me. The anger in his eyes was most apparent "You should be nowhere near me after what I did to you"

"It really wasn't that bad and I was partly to blame. I should not have stood in front of Ben, I behaved very stupidly" I said nervously as he stepped towards me.

"My actions were unforgivable, I hit you. Now leave" he snarled

"I forgive you Jasper" I whimpered as fright caused my heart jumped into my throat. "I am going now where" I tried my best to sound confident but failed miserably.

"You forgive me?" he scoffed "Look at yourself, you are cowering away from me. I am dangerous and you, young lady, appear to lack all sense of self preservation"

Tears of anguish and fright now streamed freely from my eyes. Jasper ran his hand roughly through his hair and sighed

"Please leave Bella, please do as I say" his voice was quiet now "You should not see me like this, I am sorry"

"But what if I want to see you?"

"Then sadly you are as mentally unstable as I appear to be. I have wronged you and you should know better than to want to see me." he paused and sighed "I'm sorry but I do not want you to see me like I am"

"I shall go if that is what you want" He nodded silently as he collapsed on to his bed. "Emmett I shall be outside when you are ready, please do not end your visit prematurely for me"

**XXXX**

I arrived back at Bicton feeling rather confused. On one hand I was dreadfully hurt and upset that Jasper no longer wished to see me but on the other hand perhaps it was the end to our relationship that I craved so badly. I decided to speak with Alice she would know what to do, but I was unable to find her. I sat on the end of my bed for a few moments before once more removing my engagement ring. I thought that perhaps Edward would be able to cheer me up so made my way down the stairs. Once I had arrived in the entrance hall the front door swung open and Angela and Rose entered.

"How was your visit to Jasper?" Angela asked.

"So so" I decided now was not the time or the place to be airing my problems "I am just on my way to see Edward"

"Ah yes Edward. I'm afraid Edward has temporarily left the hospital" I could feel my eyes widen with shock at Rose's words

"Left? To go where?"

"He has had some urgent family business to attend to in London, I think"

I decided to ignore Rose's comment and make my way to his room anyway, but she was right he was gone. I was a little angered by the fact he had not even left a note to explain his sudden disappearance. I took some solace from the fact his wardrobe was still full of his clothes which surely meant he could not be gone for long.

I had been sat in his empty room for quite some time when Alice burst in through the door, causing me to very nearly jump from my chair with fright.

"How did I know that I would find you here? How was dear Jasper feeling when you visited" she seated herself in an armchair as she spoke.

"I think this is the beginning of the end Alice."

"How so?"

"He reacted rather badly to my presence. He told me he was dangerous and that he did not wish to see me again. I listened as he told Emmett that I was the girl he was _supposed_ to love"

"It is understandable that he would feel this way, after all he is sick and he did hit you. Given time he will recover"

"You see the thing is, part of me is happy that he does not wish to see me. Part of me wishes he would end it now so that I do not have to"

"Oh Bella what can I do to lift your spirits"

"You could get me Edward" I sighed

"I'm sure he will return sooner than you think, but for now I will arrange a taxi and help you tend to your parent's house"

I thanked her and off she went.

**XXXX**

The vehicle slowed to a halt outside the house, I opened the door and disembarked. I looked back in utter confusion as to why Alice had not yet moved from her seat.

"Alice? Are you coming?"

"Erm... well... no, actually I am not. But I am certain I will see you tomorrow" she called as the car began to speed off. She positioned her head out of the window and with a smile she waved.

"Alice Brandon, you will come back here right now and explain the meaning of this" I yelled after her as my already awful day became that little bit worse "Alice!" I screamed through pure frustration.

As I made my way to the front door I began to vent a little of my temper by kicking the stones that lay on the path ahead of me. My mind was full of curse words that quickly evaporated when I found a bunch of flowers upon the door step. It was a most peculiar arrangement of gerberas, one yellow one sat in the middle of the bouquet surrounded by at least a dozen white ones. I removed the card that protruded from the bunch and began to read.

_**I have been astonished that men could die martyrs for their religion -**__**  
**__**I have shudder'd at it.**__**  
**__**I shudder no more.**__**  
**__**I could be martyr'd for my religion**__**  
**__**Love is my religion**__**  
**__**And I could die for that.**__**  
**__**I could die for you.**_

_**Edward. **_

My chest swelled as it dawned upon me that knowing I was tending the house Edward must have put these here on his way to London. I inhaled their wondrous scent as I opened the door. Something was not right, the scent of the flowers was quickly over powered by the smell of cooking. I could smell the distinct aroma of garlic and beef and I my nose served me correctly I was also able to smell pastry. I thought for a brief moment that my mother and father had returned home from their travels a few day early, however I quickly deemed the thought incorrect when I noticed the presence of a trail of rose petals upon the floor. Feeling fearfully excited I slowly followed the trail of pink and red petals towards the kitchen. I straightened out my blue gingham pinafore before nervously pushing the kitchen door open. I was greeted by the sight of Edward, his smile was positively beaming as he made his way towards me. I rubbed my eyes to establish whether I was hallucinating or not, after all Edward was supposed to be in London.

"Good afternoon beautiful"

"What... what are you doing here? I thought you had left for London"

"Forgive me darling, but I lied. I wished to both surprise you and spend time alone with you. With the help of Alice, Angela and Rose I have orchestrated today's events and prepared this evenings meal for you"

"Oh Edward, how wonderful! No one has ever gone to so much effort for me before. You really shouldn't have" I watched intently as his expression began to mirror my own and a smile started to spread across his face.

"I see you found the flowers"

I made my way over to him and quickly kissed his soft lips.

"Thank you they are wonderful, although it is a very peculiar arrangement" I looked once more at the yellow flower surrounded by an abundance of white ones.

"There is nothing peculiar about it. The yellow flower in the middle represents you and the white ones represent clouds, you are my sun on an otherwise cloudy day" I single tear fell from my eye at his poetic and beautiful words "You have always been my light Isabella and I don't think that will ever change. Until I met you I thought the expression angel of war was a stupid way to describe a nurse, but it is clear to me that you truly are an angel" his thumb wiped away my tear. "Is everything alright?"

"Everything is perfect, I am just a little overwhelmed by it all" I smiled "I thought you had gone"

"That is what I wanted you to think. Dinner will be ready in about half an hour. I have filled the bath for you and Alice has put you some things in your bedroom"

"Thank you, thank you for everything" I turned and made my way to the stairs.

I could not help but smile as I followed yet another trail of rose petals to the bathroom. I found the room lit by sweet smelling candles and the bath almost filled to the brim with hot water and fragrant bubbles. The rose petals in the bath did not go unnoticed. It did not take me long to decide that I must have been the luckiest woman in the whole of England. As I immersed my body in the water I enjoyed the feeling of anticipation of what the evening would bring. After a reasonably long soak I wrapped myself in a towel and entered my bedroom. A red fabric bag lay on my bed. I took no time at all to empty its contents over the quilt, as I did so a piece of paper caught a draft and floated to the floor.

**You should find everything you need in here.**

**I'm sorry I left you so abruptly but it really was for the best.**

**I expect you to tell me every single detail of your evening when you get back to the hospital tomorrow.**

**All the best **

**Alice.**

I smiled to myself as I started to unfold the floor length black evening dress Alice had ever so kindly packed for me. I found yet another note, this time it was attached to a small brown paper bag that had been hidden in the folds of the dress.

**These are from Angela and Rose**

**Alice.**

I peered inside the back to see it was home to a lacy black bra and matching French knickers. I could feel myself blush as I held them up to examine them. It did not take me long to dry and dress myself and I found myself feeling not only confident in my new set of underwear but very grateful to Alice for the appropriateness of the dress. Alice was always thinking ahead and had packed me a high necked dress that hid my bruise perfectly. I admired my appearance in the mirror and gazed proudly at Edward's heart that hung from my neck. I slipped my feet in to a pair of patent black heels before taking a deep breath and heading downstairs.

Edward turned to face as I entered the now candle lit kitchen. I smiled and did a little twirl for him in the door way. He appeared rather shocked, his mouth fell open and the spoon he had been holding tumbled to the ground.

"Edward, are you ok?"

"You look... you look... the words do not exist to describe just how wonderful you look"

I could feel myself blush and I made my way towards the kitchen table.

I offered him my assistance in plating up the food but he politely declined, instead asking me to retrieve a bottle of champagne from the refrigerator. A wonderful plate of mouth watering beef stew sat in front of me when I returned to the table. I flinched involuntarily as he popped the cork from the wine bottle. He held out a plate of bread and I took a roll to soak up the juices of the meal.

"I hope you do not think that I have been rude and intruded on your home and I hope that you will see fit to grant me your forgiveness for lying to you about my whereabouts." He licked his lips as he spoke.

"I do not think you have been rude but I will not lie to you this afternoon when I thought you were gone I was upset that you had not spoke to me or left a note. But you have no need to ask for my forgiveness. This is truly wonderful and the food is exquisite, but may I ask what all of this effort is in aid of?"

"In light of recent events I thought it would be nice to spoil you. If I was not your patient and you were not my nurse then we would be able to show our love in public and I would treat you like this every evening. However I understand that for the foreseeable future that that is not possible. If it is favourable with you I would like us to forget everything that is not contained within these four walls"

"I think that it is a very favourable idea indeed"

Dinner, and pudding for that matter was delicious. As the flames of the candles flickered we spoke of all sorts and there was not one moment of uncomfortable silence. I thoroughly enjoyed the fact it was just the two of us with no risk of being caught out by anyone. It was a joyous relief that Angela and Rose now knew of our relationship, mainly due to the fact I no longer had to pretend that I loved Jasper and I was just good friends with Edward. But I cannot find the words to explain how good it felt for us to be completely alone and uninterrupted.

With full stomachs we decided to retire to the living room, Edward went ahead of me and called me through when he deemed it fit for me to enter. I peered around the room to see every available surface was littered with candles. A plethora of different wax shapes and sizes burned together to create a wonderfully cosy and romantic ambience.

"Edward, exactly how much money did you spend on candles?"

"Just enough" he chortled

Vera Lynn warbled through the wireless until Edward managed to tune into another station. The darn thing was so old and complicated to work it took the best part of ten minutes for the sounds of Glenn Miller to fill the room. As removed my shoes and made myself comfortable on the sofa he stood before me and smiled.

"Isabella, since the dance there is something I have wanted to ask"

"Please go ahead, there is no need to be afraid of asking me questions"

"Would you do me the honour of joining me for a dance?"

"But the crutches"

"I cannot deny it will be a little awkward but it would mean so very much to me" he extended his hand to me.

"Edward, I would love to" with a smile I took his hand as I stood up.

The pleasant sounds of Moonlight Serenade flowed around the room as we swayed and turned together. I was unable to deny that the scene was a dreadfully clumsy one but it did not matter to me. What mattered was that we held each other closely and concentrated on nothing but each other. I had my very own piece of heaven and I was determined to enjoy it.

"It is getting terribly late Edward, I had best call us a taxi" Edward seemed to become nervous and appeared a little flustered. His reaction left me more than a little baffled after all my comment had been a very simple one.

"I was rather hoping that we could stay here for the night." He ran his hand through his hair before continuing "The hospital are not expecting me back until the morning and Alice kindly made up your bed earlier today" I blushed as I realised exactly why my friends had purchased me a new set of underwear and why Alice had left me a note requesting me to inform her of all the details. "Please do not feel that you are being pressured into anything, if you would prefer to leave then we can"

"Do not be so daft I would very much like to stay here"

We danced on and off for a little while longer and I was careful to insist that Edward took plenty of breaks to rest his legs.

"Edward, I am feeling a little tired" I tried to sound suggestive

"Would you like to go to bed now?" I nodded. From the amused expression Edward wore on his face perhaps I nodded a little too eagerly "There are a few matters that I need to take care of first. Would you be kind enough to wait in here for ten minutes before joining me?" I nodded eagerly again and watched as he hobbled off in the direction of the stairs.

It was then that it came to my attention that ten minutes was an awfully long time to wait. My eyes never left the antique wooden clock that hung proudly on the wall. I sat and waited impatiently for what felt like at least an hour before getting up and walking in small circles upon the sheepskin rug on the floor. Afraid that I would wear a hole in the sheepskin I turned my attention to rearranging the books on the tall bookcase into size order. Butterflies performed an aerobatic display in my stomach when the clock struck twenty two minutes past ten, exactly ten minutes after Edward had left me. It was time for me to begin my journey up the stairs. My heart began to pound with nervous excitement. The pounding grew stronger with every step I took. I reached the top of the stairs and turned to face my bedroom door. My nerves were really getting the best of me now so I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths before gently pushing open the door.

The first thing I noticed was the wonderful smell of vanilla and I was quickly able to attribute it to yet another vast quantity of luxury scented candles burning in various places around the room. Upon the cream bed spread an abundance of rose petals had been sprinkled and two red roses with their long stems crossed lay across the pillows. It was beautiful but there was one thing missing, Edward. I took a few slow and careful steps into the room and looked around me but he was nowhere to be found. I was about to call out his name when I felt the warmth of his hands around my waist. I gasped as his kisses trailed up and down my throat.

"You seem a little worried Isabella, if you would like me to stop please say so" he whispered in between kisses.

"No don't stop, please don't stop" I could hear a little chuckle escapes his mouth as he nibbled at my ear lobe.

My mouth began to crave his touch and I turned to face him. My lips swiftly found his and my hands found his hair. As we kissed the distance between where we were stood and the bed slowly closed. Until the point where we had found ourselves lay side by side on the bed our lips had not parted.

"Are you sure this is what you want beautiful?"

"Yes" I said breathlessly as I began to undo the buttons of his shirt. It did not take long for me to remove the shirt completely and for my lips to find his once more. My pulse raced as his hand travelled from the back of my head down to my bottom and I squirmed with pleasure as he slowly squeezed my flesh through my dress. The pace our kissing increased dramatically as he began to unfasten my dress and slowly peeled it from me. Feeling both cold and a trifle self conscious at being in a state of undress I pulled at the covers to protect a little of my modesty.

His hand soon worked its way along the length of my thigh and into my French knickers. He groaned and pushed himself closer to me as he felt my naked skin. He grasped at the lace of my knickers and began to pull them down towards my knees. He placed his hand on my wetness and began to gently explore with his fingers. The sensation drove me wild, I pulled roughly at his hair as he began to insert his finger into me, slowly at first but then his pace began to steadily increase. Of their own accord my hips began to rock against his hand heightening my pleasure. A peculiar warm and pleasurable feeling began to build in the depths of my stomach. I whimpered Edward's name as the feeling of unadulterated pleasure intensified and shuddered through my body. Never before had I felt anything like what I had just experienced.

When I had fully returned to my senses I started to kiss the smooth skin of his chest while my fingers went to work on his trousers. I undid them and pushed them down towards his ankles. His breathing rapidly accelerated and hands clawed at the bed sheet as I ran my hand over his impressive length. I was able to feel his moans of pleasure vibrate through his torso as I continued to kiss and trace the contours of his muscles with my tongue. I continued my stroking motion as he placed two fingers under my chin and pulled my face towards his and kissed me.

He started to drive me wild with anticipation as his kisses trailed down from my neck towards my breasts. He licked and nibbled my skin as his hands began to trace the contours of my breasts. With a little difficulty he removed my bra and cast it aside. He grazed my nipple with his tongue before gently sucking it, the feeling was glorious and I could not help but murmur his name.

Edward swiftly changed his position and was now hovering above me on his knees with his legs in-between mine. He entered me slowly, compelling me to groan and grab his bicep. Once fully inside me he lay motionless and looked down at me and spoke

"I love you"

"I love you too" I moaned.

I quivered as he began to move inside me. His pace increased as did my want for him, he grunted with pleasure as he moved himself in and out of me. My fingers clawed at his hair at first then made their way down to his bottom. I gazed up at him as the pace of his thrusting increased; his eyes were dark with lust, his cheeks were flushed with colour and his jaw was set tight. I wrapped my legs tightly around his back when the tempo of his thrusts changed once more. I watched as his jaw clenched tighter and his eyes close as he groaned my name.

"Thank you. That was amazing" I whispered and reached up to kiss him.

"Isabella" he moaned as he collapsed, exhausted, on top of me. "You have no idea how long I have waited for that".

We stayed in each other's arms and talked late into the night.

**XXXX**

The next morning I woke up next to Edward who was still sleeping peacefully. I felt more than a little embarrassed when I realised that I was still naked and my clothes were out of my reach on the bedroom floor. I was in desperate need of the bathroom but in dire need of something to protect my dignity. I tried to gently tug at the sheet but Edward held tightly onto it. I assessed the situation and found that Edward's shirt was the closest item of clothing, however it was still out of reach. I slowly slid out of the bed covering as much of my body as possible with my hands. I quickly picked up the shirt and slid my arms into it, as I did so I became aware of the distinct sound of Edward's laughter.

"Beautiful, there is no need to be ashamed of your body" he said as I turned and fastened the last three buttons "in fact it is a shame to cover up something so wonderful"

**XXXX**

We repeated the events of that evening, minus the food and the candles for the next three days until my parents returned from their trip. The next three weeks passed swiftly. Edward and I were still very much in love and Jasper was still very much in hospital. He was still refusing to see me but occasionally wrote me a letter expressing his sorrows for his behaviour both in hitting me and in declining to spend any time with me. Alice visited him daily and I was happy that the pair were growing closer as I truly believed both of them deserved happiness. She informed me that his paranoia and aggression were all but gone however he remained rather depressed. With Jasper's refusal to see me I had been unable to end what little remained of our relationship and each time I received a letter for him I hoped it was an invitation to see him so I could do just that. Luckily Edward was very understanding of the dreadfully difficult situation and often was supportive of Jasper when I got flustered with the circumstances I found myself in.

With Valentine's Day approaching Rose's growing excitement over what Emmett would buy her had started off as endearing but was now bordering on insufferable. Angela and her mother were busy sewing a wedding dress ready for the wedding day which was set for a few months time, shortly after Ben was due to return from overseas.

Edward was getting better on his crutches with each day that passed, although it would be sometime yet before he would be able to get around without them.

It was nearing three in the afternoon and my shift was about to finish. Rose and I were in the nurse's station sipping at our cups of tea and yet again discussing her romantic plans for Valentine's Day when the telephone rang.

"Good afternoon, Bicton hospital, how may I help you?" I answered cheerily, grateful for the distraction

"Good afternoon, would it be possible to speak to Nurse Swan please?" a nasally sounding female voice asked.

"You are speaking with her now"

"Ah Nurse Swan, I am Nurse Lowe of Shelton hospital. I am ringing with regards to Private Whitlock"

"Is he ok?" the panic in my voice was clear

"I'm afraid I am calling to inform you that Private Whitlock has gone missing, we have searched the grounds to no avail. We have been unable to get in contact with his immediate family so I decided it best to get in contact with you. Do you have any idea where he may be?"

"None what so ever I'm afraid. As you are aware he has declined to see me for quite some time"

"I do not wish to panic you but we are extremely concerned, after all he has been very depressed recently"

"It is not possible for me to panic any more than I already am, I will come straight over to you now"

I thanked her for calling and placed the phone down.

"Bella, what on earth is wrong you look as if you have seen a ghost" Rose asked

"It's Jasper he has gone missing from the hospital. I need to go now, I need to find him" I pulled my coat from the coat rack and made my way to the door "Rose please will you find Alice and ask her to join me? I will be outside trying to persuade one of the ambulance drivers to give me a lift."

"I shall get her now. Emmett is due to land around six shall I inform him of this occurrence?"

"Yes, please do." with that I sprinted down the corridor and out into the grounds.

It did not take me long to persuade one of the ambulance drivers to take both me and Alice to Shelton. In fact once we arrived at our destination the chap even offered to help look for Jasper. I managed to ascertain from Nurse Lowe that Jasper had been missing for just over an hour so he could not have gone too far.

"The last we saw of him was when we showed two visitors to his room" I was pleasantly surprised that the Nurses voice was not as nasally as it had sounded on the telephone, actually she was quite pleasant sounding. Although her extreme height was rather intimidating as she towered above me.

"Who were the visitors?" I asked quickly as we walked away from the front of the hospital to start a search.

"I'm afraid we did not take their names. But they were both smartly dressed ladies, one had dark hair the other was in possession of red tinted hair"

Alice looked at me and shrugged her shoulders, but I had an idea of who his visitors had been and my panic eased a little. Nurse Lowe gathered together a few extra nurses and between us we decided it was best to split into pairs and begin the search.

The winter sun was actually quite warm as Alice and I trudged through the field of long grass in the direction of Weaver's pool and we soon built up a sweat. We had been walking for around twenty minutes and the ring of trees that surrounded the pool was in clear sight. Alice abruptly came to a halt and held out her arm.

"Shhh, can you hear that?" I strained my ears and was able to hear the faint sounds of laughter.

"Do you think that is Jasper?"

"I hope so" she said before swiftly bounding through the grass towards the noise.

Rather less elegantly I followed in her wake stopping when we reached the trees. Alice turned to me sporting a huge grin when we saw Jasper sat on the grass at the side of the pool. As I had predicted he was not alone.

"Bella, the two girls he has for company look familiar. Do you know them?"

"Yes, it's Annie and Marcy. I had a feeling it might be which is why I have been a little more relaxed about the situation"

She took hold of my hand and we started to walk through the trees. When we broke cover Jasper stood and smiled in our direction. I kept my distance and remained in the tree line, Alice on the other hand ran towards him and embraced him.

"Jasper Whitlock, thank God you are safe. We have been so worried"

I was unable to hear his reply as Marcy and Annie had made their way over to me.

"Good afternoon Bella" they said in unison both of them sounding sheepish.

"I hope you are not angry. I know that kidnapping him was wrong but Jasper was frightfully miserable stuck in that horrible place and he has been so much happier out here" Marcy spoke whilst nervously fidgeting.

"Marcy" I placed my hand on her shoulder "Why on earth would I be angry? It is nice to see Jasper smiling and appearing a little more care free"

"You see Marcy, I told you that Bella was a reasonable person and that your worry was unnecessary" Annie spoke with her hands firmly on her hips and a smile on her face.

"Thank goodness you were right" the relief in Marcy's voice was clear. I looked in Jasper's direction to see that he and Alice were now sat on the rug by the water's edge. I was unable to see Jasper's face but I could see Alice's and she was happy. She was looking at him with a look of complete adoration. The sight warmed my insides.

"I am unsure if you are aware but Jasper has been refusing to see me" both girls nodded their heads "Do you think it is wise that I speak with him or shall I leave before he becomes upset again?"

Neither Marcy nor Annie had chance to answer my question as Jasper appeared at their side.

"Hello Bella, you look well" he said with an awkwardly formal edge to his voice

"Thank you. How are you feeling today?" I spoke timidly

"A little better, thank you." he turned to address his kidnappers "Would you two mind accompanying Alice back to the hospital? Bella and I need to talk"

The girls agreed and tootled off in Alice's direction.

"Bella would you care to join me on the rug?" I nodded and walked the short distance before sitting down. "I feel I must apologise for my refusal to see you until now"

"I cannot pretend that I was not dreadfully hurt by your actions, however I do understand that you were not feeling yourself. I am not angry but I would like to know why you did as you did" he leant over and took my hand in his.

"Your benevolence and understanding never ceases to amaze me" he smiled

"As nice as it is to see you smile Jasper that does not answer my question"

I watched as he took a deep breath and looked out upon the water

"When I hit you Bella I felt thoroughly ashamed of myself, you had never been anything but kind and gentle towards me and I hurt you so badly. Even after I hurt you, there you were by my side supporting me. The fact that you cared for me so much only made me feel worse about my atrocious actions. Despite the medication the hospital gave me I did not get one moment of sleep that night, the whole series of events replayed through my mind over and over again. Then you came to see me and I felt so utterly ashamed of myself and embarrassed at what I had become I could not bear to see you or have you see me. So I cast you away. It broke my heart to do so, but I did it anyway. The look of frightened devastation in your eyes haunted me for days" he paused for a moment and I gently squeezed his hand. "Please do not think that I did not think of you, whenever Alice or Emmett visited the first thing I asked was how you were. Eventually I began to feel better in myself and I no longer felt I was in the clutches of shellshock, but I was still unable to see you"

"Why?"

"Oh Bella I do not know how to say this without hurting you and you do not deserve to be hurt"

"Please Jasper. I will be brave, tell me"

"I realised that I could not see you without breaking your heart and that is why I have been so down recently. You see the thing is, I have fallen in love with someone else. I have been so very afraid of breaking your heart but I cannot continue to string both you and her along, I need to make my feelings known"

"Alice?" I asked quietly.

"Yes" he nodded "Bella, I did love you and at one point you were my only thought. I spent my nights planning ways to surprise you and make you happy and my days putting the plans into action. But I changed when I went away to fight I came back a different person with different feelings. I still love you very dearly and I always will do but I am no longer _in _love with you. I'm sorry"

"Jasper" I squeezed his hand tightly and smiled at him "I am sorry too, while you were away, my feelings also changed. I thought it was impossible not to love you but I was wrong. When I was told you were dead I spent days crying, I did not eat and I hardly spoke a word, I was devastated. I pulled myself together reasoning that you would not want me to be unhappy and I fell for someone else. Please do not think that when you returned my display of affection was not genuine, I was so very glad to have you back. I love you Jasper but I am no longer _in_ love with you, I have been wanting to tell you for some time now but I too was afraid of hurting someone I truly believe does not deserve to be hurt"

With a little laughter flowing between us we held each other tightly and promised to remain as close friends as well as laughing at each other's silliness and stupidity.

"Is Alice aware that she has secured your affections" I asked as we strolled back to the hospital full of joy and relief. For the first time we walked hand in hand as friends not as lovers.

"Not yet, I was planning on telling her soon" he chuckled

"Please do not leave it too long, she will be so frightfully happy"

"You think so?"

"I know so, you both deserve to be happy together" I smiled "I am a little worried about Emmett though"

"Emmett?"

"It is no secret that I am fond of Emmett and I have a lot of time for him. I am frightened that when he finds out that I love someone other than his brother that he will not want to be my friend anymore"

"Do not be so absurd Bella, Emmett loves you as he would a sister. He is very protective of you and cares deeply for you, it would take a bullet to his head for him to end your friendship." he paused for a moment before continuing "Is the Lance Corporal aware that you love him?"

"Lance Corporal?" I asked in surprise, realising that I had not mentioned who it was that I was now in love with.

"I sincerely hope that it is Lance Corporal Cullen that you have feelings for"

"Why is that?"

"Because I have seen the way he looks at you, it is as if he sees nothing but you. If it is not him you have feelings for then you will surely break his heart"

"He is aware of my feelings, yes" I blushed and Jasper swung our hands back and forth in-between us.

With the hospital now insight I stopped and removed my hand from his and turned to face Jasper.

"I am more than a little glad that you are on the mend, it is nice to see you smile and laugh again. I am truly sorry that I did not tell you how I felt sooner, at the time I felt that it was the right thing to do. More importantly I am so very glad that we are friends and there is no awkwardness between us." I pulled him into an embrace.

"You are a very special girl Isabella and I am glad you are in my life" he whispered.

He took my hand once more and we began the final leg of our journey.

**So what do you think?**

**Hopefully it won't be long till the next chapter**

**Enjoy your weekend**

**Magenta xx**


	34. Chapter 34

_**Hello! I have finally updated! I am so sorry for the delay I have been bogged down by RL!**_

_**Once again I don't own twilight or any of its characters.**_

_**Thank you for reading my story I realise I am no author but I'm glad you all read it!**_

_**So here is the last chapter...**_

Edward

I waited in the kitchen with baited breath for Bella to enter. When she did she stared at me with a look comprised of an odd mix of delight and utter astonishment. I explained the reason for my presence and apologised for my lies before sending her upstairs for a bath. When she returned she was wearing a floor length black dress, it extenuated every curve of her body and was most flattering. Alice had said that I would like it and she was correct. As much as I hated to prove her right on yet another occasion, I was unable to deny that Bella looked absolutely breathtaking. I had to exercise all of myself control to keep my lips from hers long enough to eat the meal that had taken so long to prepare.

It would not be gentlemanly of me to discuss the finer details of what occurred after we had eaten. But needless to say Bella agreed to stop the night with me and it was the greatest night of my life. I had made my way upstairs ahead of her to place more petals and candles around the bedroom along with two roses on the pillows of the bed. The room looked absolutely perfect, just as I had intended it to.

The same could not have been said for my nerves, they were far from perfect. Yes, I had had encounters with women before. But I had never been this intimate with anyone, not ever had I been in love. At no time in my life had I ever wanted something so much yet been so dreadfully afraid to take it. My hands trembled as I stood behind Bella and took hold of her waist and began to slowly kiss her throat. Despite my aching desire and utterly overwhelming need for her, I took my time. Wanting her to be as comfortable as possible, wanting for everything to be perfect for the both of us I worked at a slow pace.

I had worried rather needlessly as it was all simply wonderful. As our bodies and souls joined, as our two hearts began to beat together as one, I looked deep into her eyes. In that moment I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her at my side. I had never felt so close to anyone before, as gazed at her I could almost see her dreams and hear her thoughts. I was well aware that I would not survive a single day without her.

I held Bella in my arms until she drifted off to sleep. The memories of the first time we had shared a bed returned to me. She had been so frightfully fragile and delicate; at the time I had been amazed that one small girl could produce quite so many tears. She had changed so much since that night, she had become a confident, strong woman and far more self reliant. Yet somehow she had remained the same girl that I had fallen in love with in Whitechapel so long ago. I smiled as I remembered the feeling inside me the first time our eyes had met at the dance. The feeling grew stronger over time and continued to grow; each time I looked at her the onslaught of emotions and feeling of unadulterated love threatened to knock me over.

**XXX**

As Mr and Mrs Swan were away for the next four days, Bella and myself decided to make the most of our alone time. I stayed at the house whilst Bella was at work. She returned home after informing the hospital staff that events in London were worst than I had feared and I would be absent for a while longer. She had managed to bring with her an overnight bag containing everything that I might have needed. For three days we took great pleasure and enjoyment from living as a couple. Whilst Bella worked I would do my best to hobble around the house and carryout the arduous and mundane task of the housework. It was difficult to say the least but it was good walking practice and it ensured that we could spend all our time together when she returned. Isabella proved herself to be quite the master of the kitchen, often rustling up delicious meals with next to no ingredients at all. For the best part of four days we completely forgot about the outside world and concentrated on nothing but us. However this could not last forever as Bella's parents were due to return leaving us no choice but to return to the hospital.

Over the coming weeks I watched as Bella became more and more disheartened with the situation surrounding her relationship, or lack thereof, with Private Whitlock. Much to Alice's satisfaction I had now fully desensitised myself to his name and could talk about the poor chap with ease. Bella on the other hand grew increasingly agitated at the fact he refused to see her.

"Dam and bally well blast it!" she cussed one morning after receiving a note from him "How am I supposed to inform him of my decision to end our relationship if he won't bally well speak to me?" She did not take too kindly to my suggestion of writing back to him "It is a matter rather too sensitive in nature to simply write to him about don't you think Edward?"

"Perhaps, but he is writing you. If that is the only way he is willing to communicate then maybe you should take full advantage of that, if only to establish how he is coping."

"Breaking someone's heart in writing would be jolly un-decent of me to do" she angrily screwed up his letter and threw it aggressively to the floor

"Does he not break your heart every time he writes to you my dear?" she sat in silence with a guilty look on her face "Darling, you should not feel so guilty" I took her hand in mine.

"I have every reason to feel guilty. Here I am in front of you, becoming most upset that another man is suffering and will not agree to see me. You are right it does break my heart a little more each time, but it is most unfair on you that I should feel this way"

"Isabella, I am more than aware that you love me and that you chose me over him. However I do not expect you to forget about him or forget the fact that you spent such a long time caring for him. You agreed to marry the chap so you are bound to have feelings for him and I expect that you always will do. If you did not care for him the way that you continue to then you would not be you, you would not be the girl that I love"

"But I want to tell him, I want to tell everyone that it is you that I love. I wish to shout it out from the hospital roof top that I love you and that you are mine" she smiled sadly

"Well that is awfully nice of you to want to shout it out, but Jasper is troubled and unwell and you must take that into consideration. At this present moment in time he cannot be held fully responsible for his actions. You must give him time"

"Recently it seems you always seem to jump to Jasper's defence, I thought that you despised him?"

"Despise is a very strong word to use, after all I barely know the chap. But I do know that if he secured your affections for so long and that you were willing to marry him then he must be a good man. Why do I defend him? Because I know that if I was to hurt you even half as much as he has done then I would never forgive myself." I sighed and ran my free hand through my hair "Be patient my love."

It was easier than I ever thought possible to defend Jasper and argue his case for several reasons. The first being the ones I told Bella of and the other was because of Alice. Not only was she visiting Jasper on a daily basis she also still made time for me. Although the weather was still dreadfully cold we would often wrap up warm and take strolls in the garden together or perhaps share a drink in my room. Right from the very first time I had met Alice we had been exceedingly open with each other and held back very few secrets from one another.

"Edward, I appear to have got myself into a bit of a pickle"

"How dreadfully unusual." I said sarcastically as we wandered around the garden enjoying the particularly bright January afternoon. "And what might that pickle be?"

"Well its Jasper really. As you know I visit him daily but I fear he is starting to build up a bit of dependency on me"

"How so?"

"The nurses tell me that he talks of me often and the only time that he is happy is when I visit. They also tell me that if I am but one minute late that Private Whitlock begins to panic and become dreadfully irrational believing that I have cancelled my visit without prior warning"

"Alice my dear, I shall tell you exactly what I have told Bella on countless occasions, Private Whitlock is not of sound mind at the present moment in time. You are a nurse and I should have no need to tell you that shellshock is a terribly debilitating affliction but not a permanent one"

"I can appreciate that Edward, but my problem is not his moods swings or his lack of rationality"

"Well? Spit it out"

"I... I" she was now blushing profusely and did not look all that dissimilar from a beetroot. "I rather like it. I like having someone to look after and having someone who cares about me."

"I care very deeply about you" I smiled as we crossed the grass lawn to the bench where we would often sit and rest.

"Yes I know that, but this is different. Since I accompanied Jasper to the hospital I have felt different within myself. The loss of Demetri does not seem to cause me as much suffering as it once did. Do not get me wrong I still think of him every day. Only now I think of the happy times we spent together and they are not followed by the thought of his death and the feeling of such hollow emptiness"

"It has been blatantly obvious for a good while that you have a certain fondness for Private Whitlock. Why are you so surprised that you feel this way?"

"I have made it no secret between us that I think Jasper is frightfully handsome so I see no point in denying it now. However up until very recently it went no further than that, from shortly after Jasper's return from the grave it has been a little more than an infatuation. I have no idea how much longer I can fight my feelings for him"

"Why on earth would you need to fight your feelings?"

"In case you have forgotten there is the small issue that Jasper is engaged to Bella. Although I am unsure if his feelings towards her remain they are still engaged. I am not used to feeling like this Edward and I am finding it a trifle difficult to deal with"

"This feeling you describe is happiness, how can that be difficult?"

"But I was happy before"

"Yes you were happy, and silly and excitable to name a few other of your most endearing qualities. But this is a different kind of happiness and you should fully embrace it. It would mean the world to me to see you content Alice, if I am honest there is nothing I would like more" I placed my hand on her knee and she smiled.

"And Bella?"

"She has not said as much but nonetheless I think she is aware that you are Jasper are growing closer and she is happy for you both. Isabella is very altruistic in her nature and wants nothing more for the people around her to be happy. It is for this reason that she is struggling so much with ending things with Jasper, she is so very desperate not to hurt him"

"Should I tell her how I feel?"

"That is a question I am unable to answer"

"Thank you Edward" she smiled at me then placed her head upon my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around her and gently squeezed her.

"Alice you are well aware that I would walk across hot coals for you, so you needn't thank me"

I spoke not one word of a lie there was nothing I would not do for Alice.

As for Rose there was not one thing I would not do to silence her at the present moment in time. My relationship was Rose had improved dramatically recently. I thoroughly enjoyed the night she had been drunk in my room and remembered it with great fondness. Rose had a hard shell but once cracked she was a splendid girl. However with Valentine's Day creeping closer both the other nurse's and myself were nearing breaking point. If I had to speculate on the subject of what Emmett had bought her for a present once more I would truly go insane. Angela as always was sweet, innocent and caring. I would challenge anybody to say a derogatory thing about her.

I had also received a letter from Jacob and my parents. Wishing me well and informing me that Jacob was back from the front on medical leave after taking a shot to the shoulder. They were intending on visiting me again shortly and eager for my return home. I reasoned that it must have been Jacobs left shoulder that took the bullet as he was right handed and had been able to write "_Tell the girls I'm coming, See you soon kid" _rather neatly at the bottom of the letter.

**XXX**

It was early evening when Alice burst into my room.

"Good evening Alice, and how are we today?" I announced with a chuckle

"Oh Edward the most wonderful thing has happened" she said with an enormous smile and a twirl as she sat down in the arm chair opposite me.

"Pray tell" I placed the book I had been reading upon the table next to me.

"Have you seen Bella at all?" she wriggled excitedly

"No, not since early this morning"

"Oh how superb, I get to be the one who tells you" she folded her legs into the seat of the chair and neatened her skirt. "It truly is wonderful"

"Are you intending to kill me with suspense first?"

"You see Edward, everything has worked out perfectly" I flashed her a look of confusion not having even the smallest inkling of what she was speaking about. "When I asked you to accompany me to the dance it was for a number of reasons that I shall list now. Firstly was because you are pretty"

"Pretty?" I interrupted and pointed to my face "This is not pretty! It is a fine example of rugged handsomeness I'll have you know"

"Fine, firstly was because of your rugged handsomeness" she poked out her tongue at me "Secondly was to get you away from the hospital for a while, then there was the fact that I wished to make Bella see just what it was she was missing out on. And if I do say so myself, that one worked a treat with the appearance of Annie and her flirtatious ways..."

"If you are going to bad mouth Annie I really do not wish to hear it, I think she is a lovely girl with a lot to offer thank you very much"

"Edward, if you are going to keep interrupting I shall be here all night"

"Sorry"

"It was not my intention to bad mouth Annie, for all intents and purposes she seems a very nice young lady. Lastly I wished to make Jasper a little bit jealous, you know that I was with another man and it worked Edward, it worked. Bella and Jasper are no more and Jasper has declared his intention to court me. When I spoke with him earlier this evening he told me that seeing you and I at the dance together made him rather jealous and he realised that he long longer felt that way about Bella" she rather impressively managed to say all of that without taking in a breath.

"Alice that is wonderful news but I really do advise that you take a deep breath"

"Do you not see Edward that there are far more exciting things to be done now other than breathing. Bella is all yours, Jasper is all mine"

"As exciting as these things are they are nowhere near as necessary as respiration my dear" I chuckled

"Yet again, you appear to be avoiding the obvious point here"

"And that is?"

"That I was right yet again, it is my bothersome meddling as you once called it that has secured our futures Edward. Can you not see the genius that is sat before you?"

"No. All I can see is a bothersome meddler, but given the chance I would very much like to meet this genius"

"Edward Anthony Cullen you are such a comedian" she said with obvious sarcasm "Now crack open the whiskey, we both have cause to celebrate"

"First I would like to know where Bella is."

"Oh yes Bella, silly me. She has gone to visit Jasper's parents with him to explain matters and then I think they intend to visit her parents"

It was not long until Alice departed with wishes of a good evening and a short while later Bella joined me.

"Good evening beautiful" I gently kissed her cheek.

"I take it from your smile that Alice wasted no time in telling you the details of recent events" she smiled yet her voice was sad in tone.

"Please do not be angry with her for telling me she was just a little overjoyed that is all. After all it is wonderful news and you have been waiting for it for such a long time"

"I am not angry with her in fact I am very pleased for her, and for us"

"And Jasper? What is to become of him" she took a seat on the neatly made bed.

"Jasper and I ended our relationship both mutually and amicably. If you have no objections we have promised each other that we shall remain friends"

"Your happiness always has and always will be paramount, so you will hear no objections from me, regardless of what it may be that pleases you"

"Thank you Edward that is most kind of you" she sat in silence for a few moments as she stared pensively at the floor in front of her.

"Isabella what is it that is troubling you?" my voice was a little quieter than I had intended and as she shook her head and raised her eyebrows it became apparent that she was aware I had spoken yet had not heard my words. "You seem distracted, is everything ok?"

"Oh Edward" she sighed loudly as I placed my hand on her knee "I am experiencing such conflicting emotions, I feel just terrible, I should be incredibly jovial at today's turn of events. In fact I should be jumping for joy but here I am sat sombrely in your room"

"Please tell me what has caused your mournfulness"

"There are two things bothering me" she placed her hand on mine and squeezed gently as she forced a grief-stricken smile "Jasper and I have come to an end and you should be finally mine, we should be together. Yet nothing has changed, you are not mine nor I am I yours"

"Bella this is awfully confusing" I could feel my eyes narrow.

"Edward, you are my patient I am your nurse. Our relationship is still very much illegal and we are faced with no option than to continue to keep it under our hats. I shall not lie to you; the thought of continuing to keep my love for you a secret from the rest of the world weighs heavy on my heart"

"And the other matter?"

"My other concern is slightly more selfish" she took her hand from mine and delicately tucked a lose strand of hair behind her ear. "As you are aware my parents recently visited friends in Yorkshire, when I called around today they informed me of their possible intentions to leave Shrewsbury and resettle closer to their friends" her voiced wavered.

"When do they intend to leave?"

"They are unsure but they will need to sell the house first, I believe they meet with the estate agent in the morning" I could see her eyes filling with salty tears.

"And you are worried you will not see them as often as you like?" I asked sympathetically trying to understand her pain

"Yes." she sniffed "When I move to London I shall be so very far away from them, much further than if they stayed here and..."

"London?" I interrupted "Why are you moving to London?"

"To be with you of course"

"Beautiful, I shall have you nowhere near that city. It is far too dangerous what with the bombings and all, I have waited far too long to secure your heart to have you hurt in an air raid. You shall do no such thing." I tried my best to hide the fact that my words were edged with panic caused by the thought of losing my beloved. "Besides which your home is here in the country-side not in a city, I have no doubt that city life will slowly suffocate you. This is your home and here you will stay"

"Edward." She scolded "You shall not change my mind, I have thought about this long and hard. I am fully aware that you will be discharged from hospital at some point and will return to your home. Just as I am fully aware that I cannot live even one day without being with you, I will go with you" her voice was defiant and strong.

"But what if I..."

"No buts Edward" she scolded "You shall not sway me into staying here"

"I have no wish for an argument let us discuss this particular issue no further tonight my dear" I smiled sweetly at her and my smile was returned.

We sat quietly for a few moments until Bella broke the silence.

"Perhaps it is not I who is selfish, perhaps it is them after all they appear to have no concerns for the memories they are taking from me"

"You are becoming more and more like Alice with each day that passes" I chuckled.

"I am unsure whether that is an insult or a compliment, but please explain how am I becoming like Alice?"

"You are growing peculiar and cryptic. You speak a random series of words and expect me to comprehend its meaning. I am starting to understand why so many of my friends are without female companionship"

"Sorry I was thinking out loud. I have forged most of my memories within the confines of that house and its grounds, right from when I was a little girl up until we spent the night together" he lips curled upwards as she blushed "I know every knot in the wooden beams, every creaky floor board, it is a part of me and it is the only place I shall ever truly call my home. I feel frightfully cheated that soon I shall no longer be able to visit and that someone else shall call it home. However my parents are good people they deserve to be happy and I shall be in London after all. It is hardly convenient for one to travel hundreds of miles back to Shrewsbury to call in for a cup of tea"

"I told you Nurse Swan that there would be no more talk of London this evening"

**XXX**

"Nurse Hale, I was wondering if you could do something for me?" I asked as Rose began collecting my bathing things. "Something that requires your discretion"

Her eyes immediately widened and began to sparkle.

"I can keep a secret if that is what you are asking" she smiled.

"I wish for you to call a solicitor for me and arrange a meeting between us as soon as possible please"

"Well, that is not as interesting as I was expecting but yes of course. I shall do it whilst you are bathing and you have my word that I shall not breathe a word to anyone"

"Thank you." I stood up and began to walk with her in the direction of the bathroom "Would it be too much for me to ask if you would post a letter for me later on today?"

"I shall be walking into town to meet with Emmett after my shift has finished would that be agreeable?" she held open the bathroom door for me

"That would be perfect" I grinned

"I shall give you a few moments of privacy and return when I have arranged a meeting" the skirt of her uniform fanned outwards as she turned and left.

After a good old soak I returned to my room satisfied that in a little over a week I would be meeting with a Mr Philpot to discuss a few legal matters. After Rose had left I sat down and penned a letter addressed to both my parents and Jake, inviting them to join me for a few days. For reasons I intended to keep a secret from both them and my friends here I gave them a specific day to begin their visit. Rose kept to her word and delivered the letter to the nearest post box for me later that day.

**XXX**

The recent weeks have passed smoothly. Valentine's Day was an understated affair between myself and Bella. I presented her with the gift of roses and a few chocolates and she had bought me a bottle of single malt whiskey. It was not the best day we could have hoped for as a new couple, but we had no choice but to hide our feelings from prying eyes and promised each other that we would celebrate our love for one another at a later date. Finally the mystery of what Emmett had gotten Rose was answered when she arrived in my room the day after Valentine's. Her hair was pinned up in a neat bun allowing her to fully show off the two large purple amethysts that hung gracefully from her ears. After her morning visit to Jasper, Alice had arrived at the hospital with an appearance similar to that of a hamster with its cheeks filled with food.

"Good afternoon" I said as she strolled down the corridor towards me "What gift did your sweetheart bestow on you for Valentine's?"

"Chmm..mmm cammmm" she grinned awkwardly as she spoke what sounded to be either a foreign language or utter nonsense. Knowing Alice as I did I was leaning towards the utter nonsense.

"Pardon?" I chuckled. She chewed her mouthful a few times before swallowing.

"Chocolates! Can you not tell?" she giggled as she pulled a nearly empty paper bag from the pocket of her coat "It was most thoughtful, I just wish he had bought twice as many. These are almost all gone" she laughed as she popped more into her mouth and made her way to the nurse's station.

Angela had not been so lucky. Private Cheney was back on active duty on the battlefield but he had apparently managed to send her a letter and enclosed a photograph along with some tender and loving words.

It was not long after Valentine's Day that I received a frightfully rare visit from the doctor, I was so shocked by his visit that if I had not already been seated I surely would have fallen backwards on my crutches. His words caused me nothing but delight as he explained that if my progress continued as it was I would be discharged from the hospital within a few weeks. I had not given my return to work a single thought until he spoke the words "your plans to return to military service". The thought of leaving Bella to go back there filled me with dread. His face became frightfully serious as he informed me that it was with great regret that he had no choice but to deem me unfit for returning to the army. I hid my ecstasy well and sounded most disappointed in my reply to his statement.

For the next few days I worked hard to keep this news both from the nurses and from Bella. I did not wish to worry her with thoughts of leaving for London and if good fortune was on my side it was an issue we would not have to face.

My third and final meeting with Mr Philpot went well, he seemed a most cordial man. He walked me through every detail of my recent transaction and seemed pleased that I had invested my inheritance well. After he had crossed the T's and dotted the I's of the proposed agreement I signed my name and the deal was finalised. I was now the proud owner of a three bedroom cottage only a few miles away from Bicton, it was nothing fancy but I could afford it and it was perfectly suited for me and hopefully for Bella too.

My parents were due to visit the very next morning so I had asked Bella to join me for the evening. We were enjoying a pleasant stroll at sunset when I suggested that we rested on a bench for a short while.

"Isabella, there is something that I must tell you" in the dim light I could see her smile softly "The doctor visited me not all that long ago and I am to be discharged from the hospital soon, in a matter of days in fact"

"Is that why your family is visiting? To collect your belongings?"

"Not quite. I intend to tell them, amongst other things, that I will be staying in Shrewsbury." Her eyes narrowed with confusion "I have brought a house Bella. It is only a few miles away from the hospital so if you wish you can to move from your room here and still be within walking distance of your job and your friends"

"You want me to move in with you?" I nodded "Edward that is wonderful but it is hardly deemed proper for a couple to live together before they have taken their marriage vows. We shall be the talk of the town"

"Well, you see, I was wanting to speak with you about that" my hand began to tremble as I reached into the breast pocket of my jacket and retrieved the little red box "I had a rather large speech planned out in my head but it seems the words have become jumbled in my head. Please forgive me for the fact I am unable to get down on my knees" her eyes widened as I uncurled my fingers revealing the box. Her hands quickly shot up to cover her mouth as I opened the lid the diamond reflecting what little light was left of the day. "Isabella Swan, I love you and I sincerely hope that you will do me the honour of becoming my wife"

Tears rolled freely down her cheeks and she accepted my offer and I placed the ring on her shaking finger.

XXXX

My parents, especially my mother, seemed utterly delighted when I introduced them to my fiancé the following morning. Jake had slapped me on the back a few times telling me it was about time. They had arrived a little earlier than I had expected meaning Bella, making the most off her day off duty, was yet to join me downstairs. It was dreadfully hard not to tell them of the events that unfolded the previous night, however I had managed to remain tight lipped until she had joined us and Mother had all but screamed "I told you so".

Soon Alice, Angela and Rose had joined us and I watched as a delighted Bella informed them of the news and then swiftly covered my ears to protect my ears drums from the excited shrieks that echoed around my room. An excited Angela and Alice had already begun to plan Bella's dress while Rose was still busy admiring the ring on Bella's finger.

Jake was once again revelling in the presence of the nurses, but seemed a little disappointed that Alice was now spoken for. He laughed as he told her that until there was a ring adorning her finger he was free to woo her.

Jake was especially happy to hear that I was now a home owner as the unoccupied bedrooms were the perfect excuse for him to visit often, I could not deny that I looked forward to his visits.

After an hour or so of conversation Jake, my father and I retired to the games room to enjoy a quiet tipple leaving the ladies free to plan a wedding.

**What did you think?**

**There will be an epi soon, just got to get this uni work finished!**

**Magenta xxx**


	35. Chapter 35

_**Hello, I'm so sorry this has taken me so long to write my personal problems have really gotten in the way!**_

_**So now my story is at an end, thank you all for reading and reviewing and being patient with me. For all of you who didn't like it, well, I can't please everyone and I've never claimed to be a good writer it was just a bit of fun!**_

_**Thank you and enjoy!**_

**Bella**

The war had finally ended in 1945. After very nearly six years of fighting there was a lot of celebrating to be done as the troops began to return home. Extravagant street parties were organised and each household had a different role to play and something different to bring to the festivities. Some bought food whilst others decorated and a few gathered a collection of jolly music. As the men arrived home cheers could be heard from miles around and the streets were at least an inch deep in the confetti that children had crafted. Of course the celebrations were slightly marred with undertones of sadness for the boys who would not be returning home. Thoughts were spared for those men who had left mothers without sons and devastated sweethearts in their wakes and prayers were whispered for those who would never return home to their wives and children. The celebrations and general dreadfully high moral of the inhabitants of Shrewsbury lasted for a few weeks. It appeared as if the entire town was smiling by day and dancing and celebrating by night. It was inevitable that at some point we would all have to return to reality. The men would have to find jobs and the women who had worked so hard during the war years would be expected to give up theirs. I find it frightfully hard to believe that the war ended a little over a year ago especially when it seems as if it was only yesterday that Edward and I were wed.

** o~O~o**

Edward's proposal had come as quite the shock, we had not even told our families of our feelings for each other yet without any hesitation I had agreed to marry him. I was fully aware that in making my decision we would be the choice topic of conversation both in and out of the hospital and would continue to be for quite some time. Things had carried on as normal whilst Edward still resided at Bicton. Alice appeared to find it a little more difficult than most to keep the secret and was rather glad when Edward finally did get discharged. With Edward no longer a patient our courtship became legal and I had been rather too eager to reveal our relationship before Alice did. However Edward insisted that we should wait a little longer so people would not speculate and doubt my integrity. Three weeks after Edward's discharge from the hospital I could wait no longer and I began arriving downstairs for work with a wonderfully pretty addition to my finger. People seemed frightfully concerned that we had rushed into things and I was quick to quash the silly rumours that I was carrying his child. I could understand their point of view, they knew nothing of mine and Edward's hidden relationship. Indeed in their eyes it was a dreadfully hasty and perhaps even a silly action but I cared not for their thoughts and opinions. The people I cared about knew the truth and could see we were happy and that was all that mattered.

Edward's family had appeared to be over the moon when Edward had introduced me to them as his wife to be. Edward's father and Jacob had patted Edward proudly on the back before verbalising their well wishes and congratulations. I remember as if it was only yesterday the way Carlisle had looked so wonderfully proudly at Edward. He gazed upon him with such obvious love and devotion, the way only a parent could look upon their child. Esme held Edward so dreadfully tightly that her embrace had threatened to squeeze the life from her son. The celebrations soon included my friends and to this day the joyous squeals of Angela, Alice and Rose still ring in my ears.

** o~O~o**

I had straightened my skirt as Edward held the door of the black cab open for me. I remember taking a deep breath as I prepared to walk towards the house, I had been so very unsure of how the next series of events would unfold. My father had looked Edward up and down with curious eyes as he had opened the front door and invited us in. Mother had been a little more friendly and had offered Edward a seat before she had pottered into the kitchen to make the tea.

"Mr and Mrs Swan, as odd as it may sound I believe that when I was wounded it was a blessing. It has been a great honour to have met your splendid daughter" Edward had turned to me and smiled before asking my father for my hand in marriage.

Father's face had begun to flush red almost immediately; he had choked a little before spitting his mouthful of tea upon the floor.

"Isabella" he had shouted without even sparing a glance at Edward "Kitchen now!"

I had given Edward's hand a gentle squeeze and had smiled sweetly at Mother before following my father to the kitchen.

"Yes Father" I replied timidly

"Would you mind telling me what on God's earth that you are playing at" he growled, his eyes had been trying to focus on anything but me as the colour of his face continued to deepen "Only a few weeks ago your mother informed me, with some sadness might I add, that you and Jasper had ended your relationship and..."

"Father do calm down, you are beginning to look like a rather large beetroot" I had interrupted with a little chuckle.

"Try as I might I fail to see anything amusing in this situation" he scorned

"Sorry Father"

"Only a few weeks Isabella, a few weeks!" he exclaimed as he had leant against the Aga with his head held in his hand "and now you have promised yourself to someone else! You barely know the chap. People will talk dear girl, people will talk"

"But father, he is a most wonderful man, and I do believe that it is you who hardly know him" I had started the case for the defence "And let them talk for I care not for what they have to say and neither should you"

It had taken a good while for me to calm my father down, while my mother and Edward sat casually chatting in the other room. Eventually Father had agreed to return to the lounge. He had not been entirely happy with the proceedings but he had seemed to understand that my happiness was what was important. Edward and I went on to spend a little over two hours in their company. Edward had behaved like the perfect gentleman. My father on the other hand had not been so gracious, he had spent his time pretending to be absorbed in the daily paper and had only grunted when he was spoken to.

"He will come around Edward" I had reassured as we had left the house.

** o~O~o**

Over the next few weeks Mother and I had found ourselves rather preoccupied with the preparation for Angela's up and coming nuptials. Poor Edward had been left to spend a good deal of time with my father. At first they had sat together in relative silence, my father reluctantly speaking when spoken too. Occasionally my mother had passed through the room and had bent down to his ear to speak in hushed tones. To the outsider it would have perhaps appeared as if my mother was whispering sweet nothings to the man she loved, but I knew she was threatening to run my father through the old mangle she owned if he did not become more sociable. However as time went on I could see my father beginning to warm to my fiancé.

Angela's wedding had been beautiful with both her and Ben shedding a few tears as they had exchanged their vows at the local church. The church had been wonderfully decorated with bunches of purple and orange wild flowers adorning the ends of the wooden pews. Angela had looked like an angel as she carried a similar bunch of wild flowers and walked slowly along the plush red carpet of the aisle towards Ben. As I followed in her wake I had caught Edward's eye and he had smiled and mouthed the words "you look beautiful" causing me to blush and look away. The vicar had told the congregation of how he felt as if it was only yesterday he had christened baby Angela and how it had seemed no time at all since he had disciplined both myself and Angela for running riot around the alter at Sunday school. Angela's mother had wept tears of happiness as she read a poem before her beloved daughter became Mrs Cheney. Once outside the church the entire congregation had cheered and covered the happy couple in confetti. More cheers followed when Emmett had gotten down on one knee at the reception and proposed to Rose. Without even drawing breath Rose had accepted. Before I had been able to congratulate Rose and Emmett and pair of warm hands had grasped my waist and a familiar voice had whispered in my ear "It will be our turn next my love".

A little over two months later I became Isabella Cullen. To my delight, in the weeks leading up to our special day Edward and my father had grown closer and had even spent several days embracing the art of fishing together. I had known that marrying Edward would never be something I would regret but I was unable to help the growing feeling of nerves I had felt. I had never liked to be the centre of attention and my wedding day would prove to be no different. Our wedding had been simple yet beautiful, nowhere near as grandiose as Rose's had been a few months later, but then that was Rose, she had always been extravagant. I had worn a simple white dress hemmed with antique lace and carried a bouquet of red roses provided by Esme. Edward stood waiting for me at the end of the aisle looking every bit the frightfully beautiful officer in his old uniform. Alice, Angela and Rose had been kind enough to provide me with something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue, and all three of them had floated behind me as I had made my way down the aisle to Edward.

That night had been the first night I had stayed with Edward in the beautiful cottage he had bought months earlier. Of course I had been a regular visitor to Edward's abode and I had frequently extended my expertise to help him to make the house his home. Until our wedding night Edward had been unconfident to navigate the stairs alone and preferred to sleep in a temporary bedroom situated downstairs in the back room.

I had gasped as I took in the appearance of my new bedroom. Beautiful white and ivory voile hung from the top frame of four-poster bed Edward had bought for us, more voile had been expertly wrapped around the posts. Long stemmed roses stood tall in glass vases next to the bed and a bottle of champagne sat chilling in an ice bucket. The bed was made up with luxurious red and white cotton sheets and the goose-down quilt neatly folded back.

"Alice?" I turned to my husband and smiled

"Alice" he chuckled as he poured the champagne into two glasses.

Before we sipped at the sparkling liquid we toasted to a long life together.

** o~O~o**

Edward and I had been married just over three months when my parents had changed their plans to move away from Shrewsbury, after all they could not leave when I had imparted the most wonderful of secrets upon them. I had basked in the pleasure of knowing they were not leaving the sanctuary I had grown up in and they had rejoiced in the news that they were expecting their first grandchild.

Edward had been more than a little overjoyed the morning I had sat him down and told him that I was pregnant, I had expected a positive reaction but in truth nothing would have prepared me for just how happy he was. Still struggling with his mobility and unable to work, he had seemed at a loss at what to do with himself since we had been married but the news of Baby Cullen appeared to give him a new lease of life. Almost immediately he set about drawing up plans for toys and things he would make for the baby. I watched for what seemed like days as he sat studying and drawing at the old oak bureau. He held a pencil in his hand and had tucked another behind his ear as he had sketched ideas onto paper and made lists of things he was going need. I could not help but smile each time he had reached a difficult part in his drawings and the tip of his tongue would protrude from the corner of his mouth and his brow would furrow, he was frightfully adorable and utterly mine.

Eventually we had decided the time was right to tell people we were expecting a child and Edward wasted no time at all telephoning his mother and father. I watched as he smiled and proudly told them the news before we set about the short journey to tell my family and our friends.

** o~O~o**

Today not only am I expecting a visit from the mid-wife I am also expecting a visit from Alice. My announcement seemed to inspire her to take up the art of knitting and she had decided that today was the day she wished to show me her range of creations. Little has changed where Alice and Jasper are concerned. They are still together and unmarried but they live together now. Living together in sin some choose to say, but then Alice never was one to care what others thought and Jasper, well Jasper is just too happy to notice the gossip.

So now I sit here with my hands on my dreadfully swollen stomach knowing that in just a few short weeks a beautiful new little face will grace my world. Rubbing soothing circles over my belly I watch Edward proudly adding the finishing touches to the cot he built and I smile sweetly as he once again tells me of his plans to decorate the nursery. When I think of the journey I have taken to be here I cannot deny it was a difficult one filled with heartbreak and woe, but then I cannot deny it was laced with laughter, friendship and love. If I was asked I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

**Magenta xx**


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